Breaking up..

[John 675]

Last night my ex girlfriend decided that she didnt want to be with me anymore, she though it best that we went our seperate ways as she didnt know what she wanted... its probably for the best.. and its not like i didnt see it coming around eventualy.. we tried to make it work so many times but i cant say that she put any effort in to making it work.
luckily we dont have a house or pets or massive financial comitments.. but we still have over 2 years of history.. and that hurts.
dont get me wrong im not blubbering or crying over it.. i just dont really know what to do with myself in order to move on.. i have my bike and thats cool, my friends and my no-sex box 360 and all that.. but i will be coming home to no one.. not calling her on my breaks at work.. im a little lost so to speak and slightly numb.. i guess its one of those time things that makes you feel okay.. there are plenty of other people in the world i suppose :(
Cant help but feel a little low though. if you know what i mean.. :nomore:

[Quiff Wichard]

sympathise greatly



empathise really ..


just lost 12 years of my life and a wonderful lady.. but it for the best all round

and I dont mind admitting I have cried buckets over it.


times a healer cliche bla bla bla.

dont know what to say- except this is a time when you know that your family will be there and you deffo find out who your riends are..


all the best buddy - it gets better..

[Flamin_Squirrel]

:smt056

[Devil Biccy]

I echo exactly what quiff said about time and healing have listened to a few friends who have been in shorter and longer relationships than you ( that have ended) and it all does work out eventually. Don't loose sight of the two years, the good times and the bad! who knows sometime down the road maybe friendship can develop if you have split on good grounds

[Alpinestarhero]

Hey man, don't sweat it. You got every right to feel crap; nothing unmanly about having a blubber.

As long as you remember the .org will prop you up better than any bar stool :D

Matt

[beaniebikerbabe]

Last night my ex girlfriend decided that she didnt want to be with me anymore, she though it best that we went our seperate ways as she didnt know what she wanted... its probably for the best.. and its not like i didnt see it coming around eventualy.. we tried to make it work so many times but i cant say that she put any effort in to making it work.
luckily we dont have a house or pets or massive financial comitments.. but we still have over 2 years of history.. and that hurts.
dont get me wrong im not blubbering or crying over it.. i just dont really know what to do with myself in order to move on.. i have my bike and thats cool, my friends and my no-sex box 360 and all that.. but i will be coming home to no one.. not calling her on my breaks at work.. im a little lost so to speak and slightly numb.. i guess its one of those time things that makes you feel okay.. there are plenty of other people in the world i suppose :(
Cant help but feel a little low though. if you know what i mean.. :nomore:



understand where yr coming from, painful, we thinking of u m8 x

[G]

Gutted for you chap. I have been with my girlfriend nearly 8 years and dont know how I would feel if it all ended now.

I would probably become a reclouse and go on loan bike rides and play my 360 non stop.

I would however be single and very rich lol :thumbsup:

[sv182]

Hey Dude

I too have recently been in a similar situation. Three years, looking at getting a place, holiday to Turkey on the horizon and then it was over!

Yeah I admit that I were quite unset for a few days, but now just over a week later I am moving on.

My family and work collegues have been awesome to be honest.

My point is, that it just takes a little time thats all. For some it is longer then other and in my case, I guess it was bearly longer then a shower lol

Chin up chap :) If you wanna PM me then feel free to as I know what you are gonig through.

[John 675]

it really seems that way lol, the .org seems to have a lot of support when things like this happen.. and thats cool, but i just want to not hurt lol,

[sv182]

but i just want to not hurt lol,


Try looking at it this way, the reason it hurts is because she meant that much to you. Makes you human, makes you a man :) In time, the pain goes, I promise. Just got to get through it and it gets better.

I am in to a new chapter in my life I think. I'm now past the break up of my first serious and meaningful relationship. There were problems at both sides and I know that I am wiser for it all as well.

[Warthog]

Aw mate that's bad. I totally know what you are going through, I went through the same thing 4 years ago. If you had a lot of arguments then the sad fact was that she probably wasn't right for you, and there is someone wetter suited to you out there. As Quiff says time is the best healer, just use this opportunity to make sure you are happy with yourself and who you are, and go after your own goals and ambitions and you will find a partnet to share it with soon enough.

[Alpinestarhero]

Gutted for you chap. I have been with my girlfriend nearly 8 years and dont know how I would feel if it all ended now.

I would probably become a reclouse and go on loan bike rides and play my 360 non stop.

I would however be single and very rich lol :thumbsup:

Mmm, same here. Maria has been responsible for many things in my life, but mostly, the smile on my face. Dunno what I'd do without her TBH, but I'm sure it wouldnt be anything too pleasent.

Lyle; just thinking about what you said. If she hasnt put any effort into the relationship, at least, very little in comparison to you, then maybe its not a bad thing. My brother was in a relationship with this girl who was a t**t to him, always having something come up last minute as an excuse not to meet him, never came over. And she was slimey, getting him to buy stuff, expensive stuff. My mum noticed he became ill whenever he spoke to her on the phone. Everyone in my house and family disliked her.

Since they broke up (more, he didnt bother any more with her) he's been much happier. He felt like crap for a bit though. He's still single now (ladies, form an orderly queue) but alot happier. Got a good job, more relaxed, healthier and all-round better person.

Matt

P.S. I find heavy metal helps me in sad situations. Go headbang!!!

[Flamin_Squirrel]

and there is someone wetter suited to you out there.

TMI:o

[John 675]

lol,... wetter, i really hope so matey :p

[sv182]

I'm liking this wetter idea :P

[Lozzo]

Sounds like it's time for you to get out, get drunk and get laid by as many women as possible.

It won't help you feel better short term, in fact it'll make you feel crap, but it's something to look back on with a smile when you're an old git like me.

[SoulKiss]

Sounds like it's time for you to get out, get drunk and get laid by as many women as possible.

It won't help you feel better short term, in fact it'll make you feel crap, but it's something to look back on with a smile when you're an old git like me.

So that explains the "Lozzo Grin" :P

[Viney]

*Digs out the Breakup cliche book*

Plenty more fish in the sea


Look mate, i know where youa re coming from. It hurts, it always does. There is nothing that anyone can say that changes things. You never reamin friends, because of the history. I had 2 hard break ups and took me a long while to get over them. It even took another girlfirned and a year relationship to get over one of them.

However, one day, when youa re least expecting it to happen, someone will stalk you and you will fall in love again. It happened to me so i know and i am the biggest cynic i know.

So chin up mate, one day at a time, and dwell on the good times. In the mean time, get out on the bike and meet people.

[Quiff Wichard]

*Digs out the Breakup cliche book*

Plenty more fish in the sea


Look mate, i know where youa re coming from. It hurts, it always does. There is nothing that anyone can say that changes things. You never reamin friends, because of the history. I had 2 hard break ups and took me a long while to get over them. It even took another girlfirned and a year relationship to get over one of them.

However, one day, when youa re least expecting it to happen, someone will stalk you and you will fall in love again. It happened to me so i know and i am the biggest cynic i know.

So chin up mate, one day at a time, and dwell on the good times. In the mean time, get out on the bike and meet people.


lend him vern for an hour- she can put a smile on anyones face :smt056

[Lozzo]

You never reamin friends, because of the history.


Not entirely true.

Among my best friends are:

Caron - my eldest daughter's mother (8 yrs together)
Jane - my other three kids' mother (7 yrs together)
Lisa - ex-girlfriend (4 yrs together)
Jeanette - ex-girlfriend (3yrs together)
Julie - ex-girlfriend (4 yrs on and off spread over 20 yrs)

There's history, but there's also trust and affection.

I absolutely detest my ex-wife though.

[sv182]

Friends with an ex? I shall pass thanks lol

Never even tried to be. I personally prefer to hate them haha

Means the next lady does not have to run the risk of the friend who is the ex turning up uninvited for a chat, which then in turn means a quieter life for me lol

[beaniebikerbabe]

it really seems that way lol, the .org seems to have a lot of support when things like this happen.. and thats cool, but i just want to not hurt lol,


we hurt cos we r human, any loss is painful; but it is a learning thing i think, took me years to get over my ex but i look back now and think he did me a favour, i know more ppl, have been more places and have grown loads; at least yr talking about it, knowing others r supporting u helps i hope! :smt056

[Alpinestarhero]

we hurt cos we r human, any loss is painful; but it is a learning thing i think, took me years to get over my ex but i look back now and think he did me a favour, i know more ppl, have been more places and have grown loads; at least yr talking about it, knowing others r supporting u helps i hope! :smt056

She's right; keeping stuff locked up inside means it stays there fore years, possibly a lifetime. Talk to people, and it'll remain there maybe for a few months at the most.

Matt

[beaniebikerbabe]

men are meant to be the worse at talking about these things so it is good to see u talking about it, talking is a strength not a weakness; lets u see others been in same situtation tho too,

[Kate Moss]

:smt056
Hugs!

Hope you start to feel better soon.

[Lozzo]

Friends with an ex? I shall pass thanks lol

Never even tried to be. I personally prefer to hate them haha

Means the next lady does not have to run the risk of the friend who is the ex turning up uninvited for a chat, which then in turn means a quieter life for me lol

I don't see a problem, if your girlfriends are mature enough not to hold pointless grudges against people who have no bearing on your current relationship.

[mister c]

When my wife left me 4 years ago I thought it was the end of the world. We were childhood sweethearts, been married for 20 years when she decided she wanted more excitement out of life.
Everyone gave me the usual "Plenty more fish in the sea mate" routine which I don't think is what you want to hear at the time.
One friend in particular said "So what if she left you?" He nearly got a smack on the nose, but then he proceeded to explain and it went something like this.

Before you met her, then you were you. You could do what you want, when you want, you weren't beholden to anyone.
When she came along and swept you off your feet, you began to change, although you didn't know at the time. You started to slowly turn into the person she wanted you to be so that you could keep the peace.
What you have got to do now she has left is go and find yourself, which at the time I didn't understand what he was on about, but over time I do and it's very hard to explain. My kids have told me that I've changed, so they have noticed.
He also asked me what was changed in my life because she had left. When I look at it, nothing. I still get up for work, I go the pub if I feel like it, I've got my own house, bike, car (sort of), but no lady, that is all.

So, yes I feel for you mate, but like has been said, time is a healer, go & find yourself, you might like what you find. :)
Just a quick addition to that, my ex wife is now re married & she has decided that the grass isn't greener or more exciting and she wished she had stayed with me, her loss :)

[Speedy Claire]

At the time of the breakup when it`s so fresh and hurts so much it sometimes seems like you can`t see your way to better days but believe me those better days do come. I`ve had several painful breakups but when you look back you realise the breakup was for the best.

By the sounds of it you`ve had several attempts at this relationship but sometimes you just have to put your hand up and admit that despite all your efforts it`s not gonna work. Sometimes there`s bigger reasons but sometimes you just grow apart. I think it`s best to take some time out for yourself, recharge your battery`s and get used to being on your own again. You`ve got the summer months ahead and a lot of mates to get out and about with.

It`s funny but when you`re not looking and when you least expect it that`s when you`ll meet someone who puts the smile back on your face :D

[missyburd]

time is a healer

Very true.

Some things are just not meant to be, you tried though and that's the main thing. All you can do is remember the good times and accept that she's made her decision. Two years in itself is a long time so it's bound to be difficult, but you'll pull through! Go for a looong ride on your bike in the sun, you'll be flying ;)


You started to slowly turn into the person she wanted you to be so that you could keep the peace.

Oh dear where have I been going wrong then? :scratch: YC's not changed one little bit! (more's the pity :p:D)

[Camel]

Sorry you're hurting mate.

When I got divorced (married at 22, divorced at 28...now 33) I was glad, because it was a long time coming, and I wanted it. But I was also sad. There was a lot of history, that was now.....history.

Plus my routine changed. That is quite a big thing to deal with, I found.

Spend a lot of time with your mates, and enjoy yourself. Get out on the bike more, and try to keep busy, so you don't get on a downer.

As already said, time is a healer.

[fizzwheel]

What you have got to do now she has left is go and find yourself

The best advice you can get.

If you hurt to lock it away, if you have friends then talk to them about it. If you arent very good at talking or just dont want to get a day diary or something and write down how you feel, dont re-read it, just write it down and get it out of your system. It really does help.

[mister c]

The best advice you can get.

If you hurt to lock it away, if you have friends then talk to them about it. If you arent very good at talking or just dont want to get a day diary or something and write down how you feel, dont re-read it, just write it down and get it out of your system. It really does help.
I found out who my real friends were at the time & I'll be honest, there weren't that many (could count on one hand) & 3 of them were my kids.
But one thing I did turn to (now dont laugh) was poetry. I sat down & wrote shed loads of poetry & it made me feel a lot better to get it off my chest how I felt. I can't do it now to save my life, so it shows what state of mind i must have been in.
I have let some people read it & I have seen genuine tears with people telling me that I should have them published, but they are mine & mine alone, I will only let certain people read thm.

[Quiff Wichard]

When my wife left me 4 years ago I thought it was the end of the world. We were childhood sweethearts, been married for 20 years when she decided she wanted more excitement out of life.
Everyone gave me the usual "Plenty more fish in the sea mate" routine which I don't think is what you want to hear at the time.
One friend in particular said "So what if she left you?" He nearly got a smack on the nose, but then he proceeded to explain and it went something like this.

Before you met her, then you were you. You could do what you want, when you want, you weren't beholden to anyone.
When she came along and swept you off your feet, you began to change, although you didn't know at the time. You started to slowly turn into the person she wanted you to be so that you could keep the peace.
What you have got to do now she has left is go and find yourself, which at the time I didn't understand what he was on about, but over time I do and it's very hard to explain. My kids have told me that I've changed, so they have noticed.
He also asked me what was changed in my life because she had left. When I look at it, nothing. I still get up for work, I go the pub if I feel like it, I've got my own house, bike, car (sort of), but no lady, that is all.

So, yes I feel for you mate, but like has been said, time is a healer, go & find yourself, you might like what you find. :)
Just a quick addition to that, my ex wife is now re married & she has decided that the grass isn't greener or more exciting and she wished she had stayed with me, her loss :)


Col you made me cry you bugger..

[Quiff Wichard]

I found out who my real friends were at the time & I'll be honest, there weren't that many (could count on one hand) & 3 of them were my kids.
But one thing I did turn to (now dont laugh) was poetry. I sat down & wrote shed loads of poetry & it made me feel a lot better to get it off my chest how I felt. I can't do it now to save my life, so it shows what state of mind i must have been in.
I have let some people read it & I have seen genuine tears with people telling me that I should have them published, but they are mine & mine alone, I will only let certain people read thm.

I always have written poetry- when I split from another "love" I wrote loads.. and I find I am writing some now.. its good its cathartic and like fizz says even if you aint poetic then write your thoughts down ..... even if its a list of words. get it out- then go on a bridg and screw it up and lob it off into a river and watch the angst drift away (not that I condone litter) ( but its bio degradable) .. all psycho babble but it sure does help..

[John 675]

thanks EVERYONE your really helping, the fact that none of you really know me at all, yet your supporting me as friends i would seriously thank you all.
shes coming over soon to collect all of her stuff.. when shes gone i can start feeling better.. i just love her so much :cry: and it hurts so bad...

[Quiff Wichard]

oh mate - when she comes just be normal and strong.

you can guarantee she will look a million dollars- cos thats what girls do..


just bite your lip.. kiss on the cheek .. i know its difficult.


quick hug with permission ..


but save your tears for when she has gone

easy advice - and I have broke down in tears in front of kim so easier said than done

however.. it does get better- take me- I packed me job in 8 weeks ago when me and kim split.. today- I just went for a chat and I have got it back !... so things can improve.

[Wideboy]

no how you feel mate,when i happened to me i felt like it for over a week but then it just stopped

[Shellywoozle]

Ahh hun so sorry..... I went through this just before Xmas and know how you are feeling. I am still feeling it now and pretending not to.

I had my bust arm at the time and couldnt do anything so I locked myself away from the outside world, sat looking at my phone just incase that text came through ..... looking back it was the worst thing to do but its human nature.

I ended up forcing myself to call my friends and cry on their shoulder, and boy did I cry. But I felt so much better after. I learnt who my friends are and they have been there for me ever since.

I have a new life now, a slightly lonely one but not as lonely as the day he walked out. Time IS a healer, pain is part of life unfortunately but it fades bit by bit every day. I now try and make every day that bit more fun and if I don't smile I try to make sure someone else about me does, then I smile :)

Suppose what I am try to say is force yourself to do the stuff you don't feel like doing, when you have time when you used to pop and see her, use the time and spend it on YOU.

Fill your life with people you care about and things you love to do and it will bit by bit get better ....... big hugs babe xxxxxxxxxxx

[Frank]

feel for you mate.I was with my ex for 6 yrs and it is only now when looking back that I realise had much she changed me.I dont mind addmiting it but it became so bad that I became the "battered husband".Why did I put up with it?Who knows but it became rediculous.I can remember to this day,jumping up and washing clean pots ,so that hopfully she would have no reason to go of on one.as she came through the door.
It ended when a friend picked me up from another trip to the hospital and refused to take me home.Instead he brought me down sarf.Nine yrs later Im still here.Have I seen her since(once,bbrrrrrrrrrrr)do I still think of her?No,but it has helped me to have a much better relationship with my now fantastic wife.
She is what she is,I am what I am,and we should never try to change.
What Im trying to say is"yes it will hurt like hell,but dont forget who you are now:your own boss"
Go do it mate

[sv-robo]

Not entirely true.

Among my best friends are:

Caron - my eldest daughter's mother (8 yrs together)
Jane - my other three kids' mother (7 yrs together)
Lisa - ex-girlfriend (4 yrs together)
Jeanette - ex-girlfriend (3yrs together)
Julie - ex-girlfriend (4 yrs on and off spread over 20 yrs)



.
Are you Hugh Hefner in disguise?:lol:

Lyle,feel for you mate and i know its a cliche but plenty more fish and all that.One day when your married with a dozen kids you'll look back on this and laugh;)

But for now:grouphug:

[Wezza87]

I empathise with you mate, My girlfriend of 2 years left me 4 years ago and i was broken into bits, nothing seems to be the same and like you said you just feel numb, but like so many others before me have said "times a healer" and their right (although most of the time thats not what you want to hear) "But chin up soldier" coz you never do know whats around the corner

[John 675]

well shes been and gone,... we hugged kissed and talked.. i never wanted to let her go, i cried my eyes out and said our good byes.. as i write this i feel sick to my stomach, although things were not the best they could of been, i loved her with all of my heart.. and still do. letting her go is by far the hardest thing i have ever done, and my heart is truly broken.. i hurt so much.. and im so tired..
Thank you for your support chaps.. you make it a little easier :cry:

[Paws]

Things happen for a reason mate, and they do get easier, was with my ex for over 4 years...hurt like hell when we split but im a very happy lil bunny now :)

[Alpinestarhero]

well shes been and gone,... we hugged kissed and talked.. i never wanted to let her go, i cried my eyes out and said our good byes.. as i write this i feel sick to my stomach, although things were not the best they could of been, i loved her with all of my heart.. and still do. letting her go is by far the hardest thing i have ever done, and my heart is truly broken.. i hurt so much.. and im so tired..
Thank you for your support chaps.. you make it a little easier :cry:

Damn, sounds hard. The closest I can relate to was my cousin dying, and his funeral...ok, sorta differant but not too much. The pain of saying goodbye to someone is something that hurts a hell of alot, no matter what the circumstances are. Hell, my dad cried when my brother moved out into his own house!

But then my dad saw him a week later to do his coving. No-one in my house does coving, because we all get dad to do it :D He hates it now.

Sorry, derailing :D

Chin up

Matt

[melody]

well shes been and gone,... we hugged kissed and talked.. i never wanted to let her go, i cried my eyes out and said our good byes.. as i write this i feel sick to my stomach, although things were not the best they could of been, i loved her with all of my heart.. and still do. letting her go is by far the hardest thing i have ever done, and my heart is truly broken.. i hurt so much.. and im so tired..
Thank you for your support chaps.. you make it a little easier :cry:


Awww Lylej, I just want to give you a big hug.

I completely empathise with you. When you love someone, it's almost a physical pain when they leave. Feeling rejected is a bitter pill to swallow, but you WILL SURVIVE.


For now, cry as much as you feel you need to, and call on your true friends and family for support.

With time, the sun will shine again, the birds will sing and you will feel alive again.

:grouphug:

[Gene genie]

takes a strong man lylej to say the things you've said and it takes a lot of understanding to reply the way people have done so on here, its quite emotional to read.
you're really down at the mo so just take a little time out to collect your thoughts and not to jump into bed with the next offer, well give it a couple of days at least.
are you still freinds with the lady and if you are it might be an idea just to distance yourself for a while otherwise the healing is gonna take a good while longer.
chin up freind.

[beaniebikerbabe]

thanks EVERYONE your really helping, the fact that none of you really know me at all, yet your supporting me as friends i would seriously thank you all.
shes coming over soon to collect all of her stuff.. when shes gone i can start feeling better.. i just love her so much :cry: and it hurts so bad...


thinking of u :smt052

[Drew Carey]

Mate, know how it feels as I think most have been there at somepoint. Although it feels like nothing will be the same again, it will become better. You will both be happier and better for it in the long run.

As for the getting wasted thing. It cheers you up for the period of time you are drunk, but then you have a hangover coupled with the misery. The best solution, see some close freinds or family and just chill out.

Chin up chap and hope things get better soon.

:grouphug:

[Drew Carey]

PS......your a brave chap to let that all out on a forum and I have a lot of respect for that....also.....nothing wrong with crying, its the way to release anger, pain and histeria.

[John 675]

Thanks everyone, we said we will remain friends.. as it wasn't a dumping it was mutual in a respect.. even though i would of carried on.. the difference is that there was nothing i wouldn't of done for this girl.. she is truly special and sleeping tonight is going to be tough.. I'm just giving her the time and the space she needs.. and if sometime soon she calls back wanting to talk.. i will listen, if not then i will move on... but God it hurts so bad SO SO BAD

[beaniebikerbabe]

Thanks everyone, we said we will remain friends.. as it wasn't a dumping it was mutual in a respect.. even though i would of carried on.. the difference is that there was nothing i wouldn't of done for this girl.. she is truly special and sleeping tonight is going to be tough.. I'm just giving her the time and the space she needs.. and if sometime soon she calls back wanting to talk.. i will listen, if not then i will move on... but God it hurts so bad SO SO BAD

This is a painful terrible time for u, and i guess, sleep may well evade u for a while now, but day by day it wil get easier for u, in little ways at first, u have to go thro the pain, and feelings of loss but u r doing every thing right in talking about it, and leaning on others. Taking one day at a time is all u can do now. The pain is great enough to be physical but it wont last forever, even tho u may not believe that at the moment, keep talking, or do wot some one suggested and write, it can help believe it or not???

chin up. :smt052

[fizzwheel]

You've done the hardest bit, it will get better from now on, you wont notice it, but every day it'll get a little easier.

Best thing you can do now and it wont seem like a good idea is to not see her, even if she asks to see you, just explain politely that you're hurting and that you want some space to sort your head out. I'm not talking months maybe a week where you just have some time for you to feel sad and get over the worst of it.

Letting your ex see you moping amount wont do either of you any good, you'll just feel worse and she'll feel guilty about whats happened.

Trust me I know, because I've done it, I thought my ex would see me miserable and sad and feel sorry for me and then we'd start talking again. It did work all I did was p*ss her off and it made things worse.

Next few days are the hardest, find something to occupy yourself with, books, music, films, Playstation or anything like that.

If you feel sad be sad, but you will get to a point where you need to draw a line underneath it, and neither of you will move on if you keep seeing each other even as friends, it wont work just yet.

Also being sad, is no way to meet propspective new ladies either, not that you'll be ready for that just yet.

[melody]

Thanks everyone, we said we will remain friends.. as it wasn't a dumping it was mutual in a respect.. even though i would of carried on.. the difference is that there was nothing i wouldn't of done for this girl.. she is truly special and sleeping tonight is going to be tough.. I'm just giving her the time and the space she needs.. and if sometime soon she calls back wanting to talk.. i will listen, if not then i will move on... but God it hurts so bad SO SO BAD

It will hurt for a while to come Lylej, but with time, the pain will ease. I think you both need time and space from each other before you choose to be friends. Don't be friends with her in the hope you'll get back together.

For now, concentrate on you, because you are worth it.

[Shellywoozle]

Love is like war, easy to start, hard to end and impossible to forget

[SVrach]

I really feel for you matey,my husband left me 9 yrs ago and i was devastated! Things were a bit rocky but i never for one moment thought he would leave,it never crossed my mind. We met when we were 16 and had been together for 12 yrs and we had a son together. I was beside myself and it took me the best part of 2yrs to get over him,it made it worse because i still had to see him when he picked our son up.

BUT...as everyone has said,time is a healer.They may be times when you don't think you are going to get through it....but you will,and you'll be fine. I know you are hurting like hell and i wish there was something i could say to make you feel better....but time and good friends and family will help you. I did eventually meet my now hubby and i we have a son together,and i'm more happier than ever.

:smt056 take care.

[scooby]

Having divorced after 22years of marage and 3 wonderful children.i understand just how you feel. I still feel quite empty .Its such such a lot to loose. But as everyone has said before me . things do get easier. it does take time,but it does get easier. Let your friends help.and take each day one at a time. there is no shame in shedding tears. You are now responsible for your own happines and destiny. Take care of yourself. your friends and family care for and care about you. When you feel better start to do all the things you have always dreamed of. best of luck mate.life does get better.

[trickywoos]

Hey Lyle- I think everyone here has said everything already, but I just wanted to give you a huge Virtual Hug. It's a really tough time to be going through, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. And although it doesn't seem like it right now, things will get better, they always happen for a reason.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[John 675]

well that was the first propper night out of the way... its just the tiny little things that seem to be effecting me the worst.. like when you role over and your partner cuddles up to you.. silly things like that.. i have a massively important job interview today.. and i just cant bring myself to do it.. she really picked her time to break up well lol,
thanks for all the kind words everyone, your all so great :)

[beaniebikerbabe]

well that was the first propper night out of the way... its just the tiny little things that seem to be effecting me the worst.. like when you role over and your partner cuddles up to you.. silly things like that.. i have a massively important job interview today.. and i just cant bring myself to do it.. she really picked her time to break up well lol,
thanks for all the kind words everyone, your all so great :)

hiya

at least that night is over now, the first of every thing is the worse,


You could explain a little at the interview, such as "i am not at my best has i have had some bad news" some thing like this interviewers r humans too, well some of them any ways.....

have a good day m8

[sv182]

well that was the first propper night out of the way... its just the tiny little things that seem to be effecting me the worst.. like when you role over and your partner cuddles up to you.. silly things like that.. i have a massively important job interview today.. and i just cant bring myself to do it.. she really picked her time to break up well lol,
thanks for all the kind words everyone, your all so great :)

Dude, its always the little things that seem to make the biggest difference. Only thing I can advise that you do is the instant you feel yourself reaching for that cuddle first thing in the morning is do something else completely different straight away! Go make a round of tea and coffee (assuming you live with people of course) or get in that shower!

While a relationship can be a massive part of one's life, there is always other things that we like to do as individuals. Try and focus on the later if you can. You can start with this interview today. Its for you! No one else :) So go for it chap! Ok, the timing is terrible, but in fairness, is such news/decision ever at the right time. If you can give the interview your best shot and also explain that you are far from 100% at the moment and I am sure that they will understand.

There is something strangely soothing about talking about this kinda thing on a forum. I have done the same myself just recently on another forum and even though I "know" some of the member quite well, the kindness of strangers has really helped. My point is, if you think you need to say anything else, then say it. There will always be someone who will understand and be able to help a little.

Do whatever you need to, to let out any anger, pain or emotion! Personally, the crying thing is not me, never has been really. I have not shed a single tear over the breakup, whereas I know the ex has done a lot. I have focused on making myself better in the shortest amount of time. I have returned to the gym yesterday, hit the weights as hard as possible after some time off, the punch bag got a f**king awful pounding off me as well. One of the PT even asked if I had some stuff on my mind, to which I could say "not anymore" :) Point is, take control as you will feel so much better in the long run.

In time you can evaluate the relationship and I promise you that you will feel much more wiser for it. You'll know what to do next time and what not to do :)

I hope some of this helps matey.

The PM offer is still open if you want to use it :)

[mister c]

its just the tiny little things that seem to be effecting me the worst.. like when you role over and your partner cuddles up to you.. silly things like that..
I will be honest with you muck, it may seem silly, but, even after 5 years that is the one feeling that NEVER goes away everything else will be fine.
When you talk to single people, they all say the same thing - "I like being on my own" That is total boll*cks, we all need someone - I don't care who it is.
I have an on - off relationship (more off than on :)) with a fantastic lady, but when it gets to moving onto the next stage, she runs away & makes me feel like **** again. She comes out with the "I am better on my own". If this is the case, then why does she coming back to me? She has been single for 9 years, so like I say, it doesn't go away, not for anyone.

Keep your chin up mucker.......It gets easier :mrgreen:

[Fizzy Fish]

:grouphug: to lylej...

[missyburd]

:grouphug: to lylej...
+1 to that.

As the song says, "things can only get better" ;)

[John 675]

i just cant seem to let go.. its like at night when she used to be there she just isnt.. and eveything seems to have stopped.. my mood keeps elevating and falling.. i think about all the things we have done in the past.. and whats worse.. it all comes to work with me... 11 hours a day in a call center with this hanging over me.. i'm just so hurt... and whats worse is that there are people much worse of than myself.. and i dont care :cry: i just dont care about anything right now..

[Tris]

well that was the first propper night out of the way... its just the tiny little things that seem to be effecting me the worst.. like when you role over and your partner cuddles up to you.. silly things like that.. i have a massively important job interview today.. and i just cant bring myself to do it.. she really picked her time to break up well lol,
thanks for all the kind words everyone, your all so great :)


This forum never ceases to facinate me with the support it can offer to people we bearly know. Good luck and I hope you find happiness soon

Secondly, I hope I not too late but good luck today at the interview - go in there and knock 'em dead. who knows what oportunites a new job could bring

[Ping]

i just cant seem to let go.. its like at night when she used to be there she just isnt.. and eveything seems to have stopped.. my mood keeps elevating and falling.. i think about all the things we have done in the past.. and whats worse.. it all comes to work with me... 11 hours a day in a call center with this hanging over me.. i'm just so hurt... and whats worse is that there are people much worse of than myself.. and i dont care :cry: i just dont care about anything right now..
That's totally normal, dude.

And I know you won't take any comfort from this. I didn't.

It's like a rollercoaster. You'll have more down days than ups at first... but after some time, you'll start noticing you have a few more up days... then the up days'll outnumber the downs.

It'll take time, but there IS a light at the end of it. You'll get to a point where you're content with just living for yourself. Then who knows?

[John 675]

cheers folks.. this afternoon i feel much better.. its just about adjusting to the change, like you have all said its going to be hard.. and i hope i get the strength to come out well the other side..

its not the end of the world i suppose.. and hey maybe i will get a call tonight saying nice things.. i wont hold my breath though lol,

[John 675]

ladies and gents.. im feeling good, because i believe there is something strong and salvageable from all of this.. as of now all communication is now cut from her.. and im going to stop moping sort my self out.. and get her back! im not prepared to walk away that easy im not going to just slip away and be a memory.. i will get her back i have a viable plan and i will execute it, and if in its the case that it STILL doesnt work out.. at least ive chanelled my thought and done something productive.. anything is better than moping and i will be better off regardless of the outcome.. time to dust of the gym membership me thinks..
Once again folks the support i have recieved from you all is second to none, with an honest hand on my heart i can say that without ALL of your input i would be a complete mess.. and i Thank you from the bottom of my heart.. wish me luck :D

[Wezza87]

ladies and gents.. im feeling good, because i believe there is something strong and salvageable from all of this.. as of now all communication is now cut from her.. and im going to stop moping sort my self out.. and get her back! im not prepared to walk away that easy im not going to just slip away and be a memory.. i will get her back i have a viable plan and i will execute it, and if in its the case that it STILL doesnt work out.. at least ive chanelled my thought and done something productive.. anything is better than moping and i will be better off regardless of the outcome.. time to dust of the gym membership me thinks..
Once again folks the support i have recieved from you all is second to none, with an honest hand on my heart i can say that without ALL of your input i would be a complete mess.. and i Thank you from the bottom of my heart.. wish me luck :D

Good luck mate, Hope everything works out for you. You go get her:thumbsup:

[John 675]

thanks chap.. im going to sort this mess out.. im not ready to give it all up.. so i will try my hardest

[beaniebikerbabe]

ladies and gents.. im feeling good, because i believe there is something strong and salvageable from all of this.. as of now all communication is now cut from her.. and im going to stop moping sort my self out.. and get her back! im not prepared to walk away that easy im not going to just slip away and be a memory.. i will get her back i have a viable plan and i will execute it, and if in its the case that it STILL doesnt work out.. at least ive chanelled my thought and done something productive.. anything is better than moping and i will be better off regardless of the outcome.. time to dust of the gym membership me thinks..
Once again folks the support i have recieved from you all is second to none, with an honest hand on my heart i can say that without ALL of your input i would be a complete mess.. and i Thank you from the bottom of my heart.. wish me luck :D



good for u!!!!:thumbsup:

[sv182]

ladies and gents.. im feeling good, because i believe there is something strong and salvageable from all of this.. as of now all communication is now cut from her.. and im going to stop moping sort my self out.. and get her back! im not prepared to walk away that easy im not going to just slip away and be a memory.. i will get her back i have a viable plan and i will execute it, and if in its the case that it STILL doesnt work out.. at least ive chanelled my thought and done something productive.. anything is better than moping and i will be better off regardless of the outcome.. time to dust of the gym membership me thinks..
Once again folks the support i have recieved from you all is second to none, with an honest hand on my heart i can say that without ALL of your input i would be a complete mess.. and i Thank you from the bottom of my heart.. wish me luck :D

Good luck chap :)

[Flamin_Squirrel]

Good luck, but may I say, only try if you honestly think there's a chance that'll you'll succeed. If there's little chance and you try anyway, you're just gonna put yourself through more heart ache.

[John 675]

i know it can be done FS.. and i feel better for trying because at least it it failed it wasnt for lack of trying.. i have to shoulder the relationdhip myself and make it work :D

[fizzwheel]

Just be careful that you dont open yourself up to further and more hurt. You need to also keep in mind that no matter what you do she just doesnt want to get back together and that can be a really earth shattering thing to try and deal with.

If she doesnt know what she wants give her space to think and work out what she does want, if you think it can be recovered then you're a brave man, but I always think you've gotta follow your heart, but dont rule out entirely what you think in your head is all I'm saying, just be sensible and try and protect yourself a little.

[21QUEST]

Jesu Christy!!!! looks like I've just walked onto a soft***** convention :rolleyes: :mrgreen: ;)

Concur to most of what has already been said and good luck Dude :thumbsup:


Ben

[Alpinestarhero]

Hows the plan coming along lyle :D

You know, the way to a womans heart is via a topbox. Try it...

\\:D/

Matt

[Shellywoozle]

Good on ya hun ... go fight for what ya want and if you don't win the she ain't worth it cause you're a little gem xx

[thedonal]

Sounds like it's time for you to get out, get drunk and get laid by as many women as possible.

It won't help you feel better short term, in fact it'll make you feel crap, but it's something to look back on with a smile when you're an old git like me.

Lol. I've been on my Jack Jones now for 4 years (after 4 and a half year relationship)- and have never managed that- even once! Where can I get a refund?

Fair enough if you want something to try and keep it going, mate- but take it step by step and always be very honest with yourself (even if that is very painful at the time- it will make you stronger and the future easier).

A good clean break is the best thing- I live in the same road as my ex since splitting- that has not made it particularly easy to move on (and I'm cr@p at getting these things started...). Perhaps, before you start working on your plan, as Fizzwheel said, give yourself a couple of weeks or more until the first pain is over and see how it goes.

If she's saying she doesn't know what she wants, the break-up may be the best thing to happen now. My last relationship should have finished at least 12 months earlier than it did for the same reason (among others)- but I wanted to cling on and not let go.

[John 675]

Good on ya hun ... go fight for what ya want and if you don't win the she ain't worth it cause you're a little gem xx

Hows the plan coming along lyle :D

You know, the way to a womans heart is via a topbox. Try it...

\\:D/

Matt

lol, a topbox.. lol...

thanks for the encoragement folks.. the plan is good, im just giving her the space.. and on the advice of what seems to be everyone.. im not calling texting or anything, she will expect me too.. she will think that i will come back asking to try it all again.. not going to happen.. the next time she sees me again (in about 2-3 weeks) im going to be at the top of my game, looking amazing and totaly being myself again, if she doesnt want any of it then screw it,im sure there are plenty of girls that do (promise im not being big headed :smt046 )

im willing to fight.. if shes not then i guess thats that :D

[missyburd]

Good luck. You seem to be going the right way about things :-)

[carnivore]

just don't spend to much on it!!!! If it doesn't work out you can always console you're self by leaving the toilet seat up and farting in bed.:thumright:

[Shellywoozle]

We should start an SV orgers singletons club .... we are all too good looking and will dazzle everyone ! LOL