Independant Women

[Shellywoozle]

I been pondering on life over past few days, mine in particular. Where am I going blah blah blah. I could pretty much answer all my questions and lay down most my thoughts but one thing I always wondered .......

Question for the guys ..... do you like independant ladies or do you feel intimidate by us ???

I have a pretty good job which can turn people away in their droves by itself, have my own house, car, bike and dog ..... I like being independant (job etc) but after my pondering I think this has always been my downfall.

[El Saxo]

Being independant is a definite plus IMO.

One of my ex-gf's couldn't make a decision for herself if her life depended on it, it got tiresome quite quickly! :lol:

[Sean_C]

Being independent I don't see as a problem, its whether or not you're willing to let people into your life that might turn people away?

Take what I say with a truck full of salt, I'm 18 and don't know a great deal about life, the universe and everything ;)

[gettin2dizzy]

Any woman who has do define herself as independent I'd keep away from ;) It's such an American thing to analyse your life and categorise yourself in to said groups. Personally, I like a girl who just gets on with it and doesn't give it a moments thought :) Having your own house, car, career etc can only be a bonus.

[Drew Carey]

+1 to what Sean C has said. In my opinion an independant woman is great, but needs to know when to let someone in.

Lily is very independant, but, enjoys being involved in the things I do and vice versa.

[neio79]

indipendent women are better. If they have their own life they tend to leave you alone to have interests of your own, rather than whinge they dont have anything to do while you do X, Y, Z.

[gettin2dizzy]

I'm 18 and don't know a great deal about life, the universe and everything ;)But at 18 if you show the man behind the counter your pink bit, he'll let you have alcohol :smt045

[El Saxo]

But at 18 if you show the man behind the counter your pink bit, he'll let you have alcohol :smt045

You ARE talking about his driving license, right? :shock:

[Sean_C]

When I was 15 standing outside an offy in Glasgow, 2 groups of teenagers asked me to get beer for them :rolleyes: Never been IDd.

On the independence thing, my girlfriend is quite independent, she can make her own decisions, but she's not afraid of asking for advice or opinions, she's taking an interest in what I do, I'm doing the same, we share music.. We're both independent, but get along brilliantly and can share our things.
Letting the other person in is the key, imho.

[Shellywoozle]

But at 18 if you show the man behind the counter your pink bit, he'll let you have alcohol :smt045

Ahhh I been showing my white bits .... you get free alcohol this way :D

[kitkat]

do you really want someone in your life have you not got a good friend you can meet with occasionally for a bit of mutually friendliness - a F+.* buddy.

Im divorced and been living in my own flat with my kids and cant wait to move in with my bf. I enjoy my own company but get lonely. I will still be doing my own hobbies and he will do his but I look forward to spending time with him. never did that with my hubby - didnt really like him

[Shellywoozle]

KK I know where ya coming from, my mutual companions ;) bore me now :(

I dunno where I am in my life at the mo, feel like I am in limbo land. Had a few bad months and trying to work out if it is all the crap I have had to deal with that is making me feel low or if it's cause I am manless (or womanless <---- for the men to think about).

I have always been a thicker think that's my problem LOL

I am disappearin for 7 days to get drunk, dance and drink a little more so maybe my answers will all come to me in the next week..... and then go cause I will be too drunk to remember.

[Sean_C]

I wasn't too happy or content until i met Izi, she's my first serious girlfriend. Things got on top of me, felt empty.. When I met her she changed all that, now I'm all loved up I'm a happy, content, fulfilled person. It could be the reason you feel like that?

The sh*tty bit though is that you can't really look for the person to make you feel like that :(

[Speedy Claire]

Lets hope you can reach some life changing decisions then lol...

I know where you coming from tho, I`m independant and like you have a good job, my own house, car and bike and no ties apart from my 2 cats. Problem with me tho was that I think i became a bit too independant and a bit too used to my own company. I deliberately chose to isolate myself a bit cos i was sick to death of meeting d... h.... who saw me as a meal ticket. I wanted to get used to being on my own and finding the real me again. Have found her now hoorah!!! only problem now is that it can be a bit daunting letting go of some of the independance and the fear and letting someone back into your life again.

Oh and in answer to your question yes I have sometimes found that men find the independance a bit intimidating... if in the past i`ve earned more then that`s not always gone down too well but the right man won`t give a damn what you earn and he`ll respect all that you`ve achieved for yourself. He`ll also help you to learn to let go of the past and look forward to the future and learn to trust again.

I`d say tho don`t look to a man to bring you that happiness and contentment, find it in yourself first and just let him be the icing on the cake.

Best of luck hun and have a extra large pina colada with lots of umbrella`s for me x

[gettin2dizzy]

Oh and in answer to your question yes I have sometimes found that men find the independance a bit intimidating...

You treat a man in the way he would be expected to treat a lady earning less than him, and he'll be allllll yours ;)

[Paws]

see ive been independent and then toooo dependent, found my happy middle ground now with my fellas help :)
Weve (me and shell) have both been through v similier situs and near enough the same time, keep ypur chin up mr right will come along and he will accept ypu for who you, might gently guide you slightly (like matts done with me) but wont want you to be anything other than yourself :)

[Shellywoozle]

Speedy C you are so spot on, that's me to a tee. I like my life and enjoy my own company but can't work out what is missing. (oh and we meet the same d**k h**ds too ROFL)

ROFL Paws, yes you and me have been through everything at the same time and helped each other out, it's quite funny really. You are one step ahead of me in 3 things, your back on 2 wheels, you found your man and you have better hair colour than me ;)

He he he he .... maybe I need to go full blonde to see if I can have MORE fun !!!! :smt107

[dizzyblonde]

I have to thank a bad boyfriend choice years ago for my strong mindedness. He played with my head so much I didn't know who the hell I was after the relationship. Two relationships on and Im Indoors has to put up with my knack of really not knowing I've just made a guy feel really weeeeeeee, saying how it is and knowing exactly what I want. I have to thank Im Indoors for helping me back on the road to independance........only thing is I hate being on my own, but that will hopefully end soon.

I have a very close friend who says I am constantly burning me bra, but they haven't a clue about my past. These days anything a bloke can do I can probably do it just as well, but I don't like that part of me..........I'm not a spikey charactor, its all a front....which hopefully in the next few months will be neutralised when I can finally settle wih me man
i'm probably not making any sense, but, thats another thing Im a blonde:rolleyes:

[gettin2dizzy]

He he he he .... maybe I need to go full blonde to see if I can have MORE fun !!!! :smt107:smt107

[SoulKiss]

Being independent I don't see as a problem, its whether or not you're willing to let people into your life that might turn people away?

Take what I say with a truck full of salt, I'm 18 and don't know a great deal about life, the universe and everything ;)


Toyboy for ya Shell

[busasean]

Ahhh I been showing my white bits .... you get free alcohol this way :D


ah, so thats where I'm going wrong - I pay for my alcohol then several hours later I'm showing my white bits!!:):)

[Gene genie]

I been pondering on life over past few days, mine in particular. Where am I going blah blah blah. I could pretty much answer all my questions and lay down most my thoughts but one thing I always wondered .......

Question for the guys ..... do you like independant ladies or do you feel intimidate by us ???

I have a pretty good job which can turn people away in their droves by itself, have my own house, car, bike and dog ..... I like being independant (job etc) but after my pondering I think this has always been my downfall.a couple of points here i feel. firstly do i feel intimidated by a lady who stands on her own two feet, certainly not fair play to you.
and secondly, more on a personal note, i have my own house, car, bike, grave in the garden where the cats buried, wife and two children. do i feel independent, NO. then why not.( more surpressed)8-[
so is your independence more about my space and my achievements and my belongings. is it more selfish than indepedence. do'nt get me wrong shelly i'm not being judgemental just thought provoking.
god i hope i've not started a charged debate.:)

[Grinch]

Question for the guys ..... do you like independant ladies or do you feel intimidate by us ???


I think your over thinking this... Let me put it like this...

I like cake... So... Can you cook cake... Or supply me with cake?

Thats it, I'm a bloke, and simple at it.

[Shellywoozle]

a couple of points here i feel. firstly do i feel intimidated by a lady who stands on her own two feet, certainly not fair play to you.
and secondly, more on a personal note, i have my own house, car, bike, grave in the garden where the cats buried, wife and two children. do i feel independent, NO. then why not.( more surpressed)8-[
so is your independence more about my space and my achievements and my belongings. is it more selfish than indepedence. do'nt get me wrong shelly i'm not being judgemental just thought provoking.
god i hope i've not started a charged debate.:)

Don't get my mind working any more LOL

And Grinch that's one thing I don't do, cook ... can't cook won't cook LOL (OK so not the indepedant)

[dizzyblonde]

I think your over thinking this... Let me put it like this...

I like cake... So... Can you cook cake... Or supply me with cake?

Thats it, I'm a bloke, and simple at it.

mmmm I like cake, i BUY nice cakes,but can't make them, my bloke don't like cakes which means theres always more for me...mwahahahaha

i think Grinch has a point, blokes like the simple things, girls make things too complicated by overly thinking about stuff and reading further into stuff than necessary....thankyou Mr Grinch you have just solved the argument in my house earlier todayhttp://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_32v.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm824MXGB)

[injury_ian]

And Grinch that's one thing I don't do, cook ... can't cook won't cook LOL (OK so not the indepedant)

here-in lies the problem! :eye:

[DoubleD]

I don't do, cook ... can't cook won't cook LOL


theres your problem, the way to most mens heart is through his belly.

cook me up a scrummy meal and I all yours

[Gene genie]

Don't get my mind working any more LOL

And Grinch that's one thing I don't do, cook ... can't cook won't cook LOL (OK so not the indepedant)
oh the relief. so glad you took it in the right frame of mind, i was a bit concerned myself after i posted it and read it back. you've got my head at it now, looking back on my life and what is/not on the horizon. depression setting in now. whos got sigmond freuds number?:smt022

[Shellywoozle]

oh the relief. so glad you took it in the right frame of mind, i was a bit concerned myself after i posted it and read it back. you've got my head at it now, looking back on my life and what is/not on the horizon. depression setting in now. whos got sigmond freuds number?:smt022

Don't you start thinking LOL. I have now learnt not to think too deeply into stuff, I am going to take a GIANT chill pill and whatever will be will be :smt096.

And any little holes in my life that need filling will be filled with summat !!Ahhhh that sounds rude but it's not !!!!! hehehehe

Right off to take Samson to his Nans for his week's holiday then I am off to bed, to turn my little brain off and to relax for a week in the sun.

[Speedy Claire]

so is your independence more about my space and my achievements and my belongings. is it more selfish than indepedence. do'nt get me wrong shelly i'm not being judgemental just thought provoking.
god i hope i've not started a charged debate.:)


Tis a good point and i`m not sure bout the majority of women but if Shell is anything like me, ok she`s younger but I`m sure we`re both singing from the same hymn sheet.

I don`t feel that the independence is the selfish "this is mine, this is what i`ve achieved, this is my space" it`s more a question of finding someone who you want to share all that you`ve achieved with. Someone who isn`t in anyway going to want to try and supress you or make you feel guilty for all that you`ve achieved and are continuing to achieve. I`m sure that like me she just wanted someone who would support, encourage and respect her, not try to dominate and control her or mess up her head with pointless mind games.

Also she wants someone who can cook......... not a lot to ask for is it? lol

[Gene genie]

Tis a good point and i`m not sure bout the majority of women but if Shell is anything like me, ok she`s younger but I`m sure we`re both singing from the same hymn sheet.

I don`t feel that the independence is the selfish "this is mine, this is what i`ve achieved, this is my space" it`s more a question of finding someone who you want to share all that you`ve achieved with. Someone who isn`t in anyway going to want to try and supress you or make you feel guilty for all that you`ve achieved and are continuing to achieve. I`m sure that like me she just wanted someone who would support, encourage and respect her, not try to dominate and control her or mess up her head with pointless mind games.

Also she wants someone who can cook......... not a lot to ask for is it? lolbut thats my point. i found a soulmate and two children to boot(not literaly)and no longer feel independant. independence=free from control of others, seperate, financialy self reliant, capable of acting for oneself on ones own. in short single. and i'm not. booooooooooooooohhhhhhh:smt022

[Gene genie]

i've nothing against independent ladies, in actual fact i'm not against them enough.;)

[Grinch]

And Grinch that's one thing I don't do, cook ... can't cook won't cook LOL (OK so not the indepedant)

Well in that case just supply the cake, and get them to supply the drink... nice and simple.

mmmm I like cake, i BUY nice cakes,but can't make them, my bloke don't like cakes which means theres always more for me...mwahahahaha

i think Grinch has a point, blokes like the simple things, girls make things too complicated by overly thinking about stuff and reading further into stuff than necessary....thankyou Mr Grinch you have just solved the argument in my house earlier todayhttp://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_32v.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm824MXGB)

What happened there then?

[Speedy Claire]

but thats my point. i found a soulmate and two children to boot(not literaly)and no longer feel independant. independence=free from control of others, seperate, financialy self reliant, capable of acting for oneself on ones own. in short single. and i'm not. booooooooooooooohhhhhhh:smt022


hmmmmm..... i might be over analysing here (cos I`m a woman so i can lol) but there`s no reason why you can`t be in a relationship yet still have your own bank account is there? have a joint account for bills etc by all means but a separate account for your own little bit of financial independence. Also, I think it`s good to have separate interests and enjoy some time on your own whether that be doing other hobbies or just having a night out/in with friends. Personally it`s the word "control" i have a problem with. I wouldn`t like to be told what i should or shouldn`t do, or where I can or can`t go etc.

In a happy and balanced relationship then you should be encouraging each other to maintain that little bit of "independence". Doing things as a couple/family is great but i think it`s important to also have some "me" time.

Not sure if that all made sense or not lol

[dizzyblonde]

Tis a good point and i`m not sure bout the majority of women but if Shell is anything like me, ok she`s younger but I`m sure we`re both singing from the same hymn sheet.

I don`t feel that the independence is the selfish "this is mine, this is what i`ve achieved, this is my space" it`s more a question of finding someone who you want to share all that you`ve achieved with. Someone who isn`t in anyway going to want to try and supress you or make you feel guilty for all that you`ve achieved and are continuing to achieve. I`m sure that like me she just wanted someone who would support, encourage and respect her, not try to dominate and control her or mess up her head with pointless mind games.

Also she wants someone who can cook......... not a lot to ask for is it? lol

yes its exactly what I want in my life, thanks for putting that in Claire it was what I wanted to put across but kinda didn't

but thats my point. i found a soulmate and two children to boot(not literaly)and no longer feel independant. independence=free from control of others, seperate, financialy self reliant, capable of acting for oneself on ones own. in short single. and i'm not. booooooooooooooohhhhhhh:smt022

Im Indoors is frightened of just that, feeling none independant, because he's only ever been single with his own agenda going, embarking on the whole living together I think frightens him to death. Even though hes been with me in his odd way for 4 yrs

[Gene genie]

[quote=Speedy Claire;1489815]hmmmmm..... i might be over analysing here (cos I`m a woman so i can lol) but there`s no reason why you can`t be in a relationship yet still have your own bank account is there? have a joint account for bills etc by all means but a separate account for your own little bit of financial independence. Also, I think it`s good to have separate interests and enjoy some time on your own whether that be doing other hobbies or just having a night out/in with friends. Personally it`s the word "control" i have a problem with. I wouldn`t like to be told what i should or shouldn`t do, or where I can or can`t go etc.

In a happy and balanced relationship then you should be encouraging each other to maintain that little bit of "independence". Doing things as a couple/family is great but i think it`s important to also have some "me" time.


ha ha ha ha. i'm sorry but if my wife thought i had a seperate bank account she would *********** me and then******** inside out and then feed ****** and ******* would never laugh again and most defo walk with a limp.:grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::gr in:

[dizzyblonde]

What happened there then?

just putting cake and simple and bloke in a paragraph solved a dicussion me and Im Indoors had earlier....................

[Shellywoozle]

ha ha ha ha. i'm sorry but if my wife thought i had a seperate bank account she would *********** me and then******** inside out and then feed ****** and ******* would never laugh again and most defo walk with a limp.:grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::gr in:

Is this a new sport, can we watch

[Grinch]

No of it bothers me, me and Jax have different accounts, and different careers... Even different interests, though there are things that we both love, bikes being one of them. Oh and cake... ;-)

P.S. Shes a qualified chef.

[Grinch]

just putting cake and simple and bloke in a paragraph solved a dicussion me and Im Indoors had earlier....................

Glad I could help, these are all things I am... Some people even call me "Cakey Mart'in".

[Gene genie]

Im Indoors is frightened of just that, feeling none independant, because he's only ever been single with his own agenda going, embarking on the whole living together I think frightens him to death. Even though hes been with me in his odd way for 4 yrs[/quote]don't get me wrong dizzy, i wouldn't change anything very content, i love my wife and both children. tell him to get off his a*** and pop the question to you before somebody else does. tell him theres no I in team, didnt work for me, it was the shotgun that worked for me.
i had 22 blissfuly happy years, and then i got married.:o:o:o

[dizzyblonde]

don't get me wrong dizzy, i wouldn't change anything very content, i love my wife and both children. tell him to get off his a*** and pop the question to you before somebody else does. tell him theres no I in team, didnt work for me, it was the shotgun that worked for me.
i had 22 blissfuly happy years, and then i got married.:o:o:o


oooo if only he was lurking on here...lol.
Yep have thought of doin a Sir Alan on him a few times, but for a change I'm just too soft fer me own good. But I have to let him finish his final year so I can give him chance to do something before its too late.......I can't wait forever can I?

[Gene genie]

Is this a new sport, can we watch
if her indoors ever found out about my 'alledged ' bank account of course. i'll send you the piccys once i've regained consciousness in a+e.

[Gene genie]

oooo if only he was lurking on here...lol.
Yep have thought of doin a Sir Alan on him a few times, but for a change I'm just too soft fer me own good. But I have to let him finish his final year so I can give him chance to do something before its too late.......I can't wait forever can I?
well to quote my old man ''none of us are getting any younger''
actually it doesn't matter how long you wait just as long its the right guy.
remember the funs in the chase. let him do some running. god if he knew who i was he 'd be knocking on my door with a bat.:smt068

[dizzyblonde]

well to quote my old man ''none of us are getting any younger''
actually it doesn't matter how long you wait just as long its the right guy.
remember the funs in the chase. let him do some running. god if he knew who i was he 'd be knocking on my door with a bat.:smt068

If he did any running, the only thing he'd use a bat for would be to lean on when his hip gave out..lol....hes one of the nice guys in a really odd way. He might try burning your eyebrows with some zorst flames but thats about it:)

[Gene genie]

i've just noticed you live in halifax dizzy, i'm a little concerned now. is he a big guy and is he the type that'll take an older guy outside?

[dizzyblonde]

ppoooor genie, nope he won't take you outside...unless you smoke cause everyone has to do that outside. Hes a nice guy, very funny, eats, breaths and lives bikes oh all in a league of gentleman type way

[markmoto]

Independance is not a bad quality!

[Jamie Slick]

Any woman who has do define herself as independent I'd keep away from ;) It's such an American thing to analyse your life and categorise yourself in to said groups. Personally, I like a girl who just gets on with it and doesn't give it a moments thought :) Having your own house, car, career etc can only be a bonus.

:rolleyes: don't characterize all Americans that way.

Thanks. ;)

[Baph]

I'm in the office, so haven't read the whole thread yet (I get funny looks if I stare at the screen now moving).

It's such an American thing to analyse your life and categorise yourself in to said groups.
It's not an American thing to analyse, it's a female thing. As others have mentionned in this thread.


I`d say tho don`t look to a man to bring you that happiness and contentment, find it in yourself first and just let him be the icing on the cake.

+1

My take on it, is that independance means literally not relying on anyone. That doesn't mean you can't appreciate someone else (friendship wise, or relationship wise).

In the past I've been out with a couple of girls that were very very dependant. The first one of those had issues with self harming/suicide. I seriously struggled to find a way out of the relationship for 6 months where it wouldn't end in her topping herself. I can tell you that's no fun at all.

Give me an independant woman over what I've had in the past any day!!

Also, Shell, don't feel too bad about all the soul searching and trying to find yourself. I've been through it not that long ago. As someone else said, relationships can leave people (of either gender) feeling smothered. I certainly have in the past, and the BP meets last year were a good way for me to escape that, as well as a few other things (basically taking time for me & doing things I wanted to do).


I am going to take a GIANT chill pill and whatever will be will be :smt096.


How's this to get you started?
http://www.reallyfunnypictures.co.uk/general/pics/23.02.06/chillpill.jpg

That's the best way to be honest, just chill & be yourself. The right person will fall into your lap if you do, but more than that, you'll slowly find you're fending the opposite s3x off with a stick as you're more relaxed, therefore more attractive. Stress isn't that appealing.

[kitkat]

have a great break shell. these things happen when you least expect it. Your still young, if its any consolation I didnt mind Mr Right til I was 38. Few long term relationships and a marriage/divorce until I found someone I would happily spend the rest of my life with.

a gorgeous lady like you should have no problems. enjoy your holiday x

[The Laughing Assassin]

In reply to your question, I spent ages researching the answer on R*d Tube...........
Men like a woman to be independant as long as he can watch :D

[Tara]

have a great break shell. these things happen when you least expect it. Your still young, if its any consolation I didnt mind Mr Right til I was 38. Few long term relationships and a marriage/divorce until I found someone I would happily spend the rest of my life with.

a gorgeous lady like you should have no problems. enjoy your holiday x

Couldn't agree more with that i met my Mr right when i was 35. I was the same as Kitkat a few longterm relationships and one previous marriage.

Things happen when you don't expect them just relax and take it easy. enjoy life

[Steve_God]

On the independence thing, my girlfriend is quite independent, she can make her own decisions, but she's not afraid of asking for advice or opinions, she's taking an interest in what I do, I'm doing the same, we share music.. We're both independent, but get along brilliantly and can share our things.
Letting the other person in is the key, imho.
+1!

[Gordon B]

Hmmm,

Independent lady, own house and car, oh and motorbike. Probably could rustle up some real handcuffs....oh, and bears more than a passing resemblance to Starbuck from BSG....

Where do I sign....:smt024

This one doofus...

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:MiHVu8XvmX26CM:http://www.readexpress.com/read_freeride/photos/2006-10-06-starbuck.jpg

NOT this one...

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ZNp2qvnV1mw8yM:http://forbiddenplanet.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/Dirk%2520Benedict%2520Galactica%2520Starbuck.jpg


Have a great holiday mate....

[northwind]

Independant women are much better... With dependant women, you end up forgetting to feed them and they die. I've learned my lesson...

[Grinch]

Just like hamsters.

[Baph]

Just like hamsters.
Or indeed, like any other pet...

Anyhow, did someone mention cake?

[DoubleD]

I like cake, whos got cake??

[Grinch]

Yes I mentioned cake.. I have cake too... always got some cake somewhere.

[anna]

cakeeeeeeeee mmmmmmm bring some down tonight grinch ;)

[Grinch]

But I wont be there...

[Foxy]

hmmmmm..... i might be over analysing here (cos I`m a woman so i can lol) but there`s no reason why you can`t be in a relationship yet still have your own bank account is there? have a joint account for bills etc by all means but a separate account for your own little bit of financial independence. Also, I think it`s good to have separate interests and enjoy some time on your own whether that be doing other hobbies or just having a night out/in with friends. Personally it`s the word "control" i have a problem with. I wouldn`t like to be told what i should or shouldn`t do, or where I can or can`t go etc.

In a happy and balanced relationship then you should be encouraging each other to maintain that little bit of "independence". Doing things as a couple/family is great but i think it`s important to also have some "me" time.

Not sure if that all made sense or not lol

Yes, ditto, that did make sense and something that most women would prefer. I like my own independance and wouldn't like to feel suffocated in being told what I should or shouldn't do etc... and encouraging each other in this is important... rather than being negative as that is sooo annoying...

[independentphoto]

Any woman who has to define herself as independent I'd keep away from ;) It's such an LAME thing to analyse your life and categorise yourself in to said groups. Personally, I like a girl who just gets on with it and doesn't give it a moments thought :) Having your own house, car, career etc can only be a bonus.

:winner:

On the other hand (career), I'm all for NOT being a dyed-in-the-wool "company man/burd" dedication or whatever is one thing, but that's taking things too far.

Garry:(

[Blue_SV650S]

And Grinch that's one thing I don't do, cook ... can't cook won't cook LOL (OK so not the indepedant)

:shock:

A woman that can't cook :smt103 that is a non starter then!!

Therein lies your problem!! :smt092

You need to get that sorted else you will never trap a fella for any more than a few rolls in the hey!! ;)

[MR UKI (1)]

Shelleywoozle, great to see you back :cool:. Re Independant Women, it worked for Beyonce (or whoever it was who did that Independant Woman tune!)

[neio79]

acctually i have changed my stance!! WTF are these women doing either out of the kitchen, or bedroom. Has there been an unusually long batch of chains made??

now all of you "indipendent" women get yourselves back n the house where you belong, stop getting ideas above your station regarding thinking for yourself and having your own iterests.

If you bloke likes golf, you must also. Simple. Know your limits!!!!!!:rolleyes::o

[Foxy]

acctually i have changed my stance!! WTF are these women doing either out of the kitchen, or bedroom. Has there been an unusually long batch of chains made??

now all of you "indipendent" women get yourselves back n the house where you belong, stop getting ideas above your station regarding thinking for yourself and having your own iterests.

If you bloke likes golf, you must also. Simple. Know your limits!!!!!!:rolleyes::o

Hey get off your soap box Neio, I have seen you at work - occupation chief brew boy :laughat:;) ROFL

[BanannaMan]

Independant women are great!!!
Been married to one for 25 years (as of 19 June this year). :makelurve:
We've always "done our own thing".
And only had one bank account but it's never been a problem.
She doesn't need my permission to buy a new outfit anymore than I need permission to buy a new lid (helmet).
Of course major purchases bikes, cars, are mutually discussed but that's a not a problem either.... because we're not just 2 independant people...we are a couple too!!! :smt057

Oh and..She can cook!!!! LOL

But she couldn't 25 years ago... so there's still hope for you Shelly! ;)
http://cenvachristiansportbike.homestead.com/justkidding.gif


Like others mentioned...the key is being able to let someone into your life while maintaining your own independance....and that is true anyone not just women.
Of course the hard thing is finding a like minded person in this world of people who play mind games, control freaks, drama freaks, overly jealous, bums, deadbeats, the list of crazy's goes on.....and on....and on.

But hang in there... the right one will come along.

[BanannaMan]

Originally Posted by gettin2dizzy
Any woman who has do define herself as independent I'd keep away from :wink: It's such an American thing to analyse your life and categorise yourself in to said groups. Personally, I like a girl who just gets on with it and doesn't give it a moments thought :smile: Having your own house, car, career etc can only be a bonus.


:rolleyes: don't characterize all Americans that way.





You have overlook dizzy...he has an "Americanism" for every occasion....:smt045



But deep down we know he really loves us....:smt060
(and is just jealous that we have better roads, cheaper petrol, and no logbooks)
:p ;) :D

[Foxy]

Independant women are great!!!
Been married to one for 25 years (as of 19 June this year). :makelurve:
We've always "done our own thing".
And only had one bank account but it's never been a problem.
She doesn't need my permission to buy a new outfit anymore than I need permission to buy a new lid (helmet).
Of course major purchases bikes, cars, are mutually discussed but that's a not a problem either.... because we're not just 2 independant people...we are a couple too!!! :smt057

Oh and..She can cook!!!! LOL

But she couldn't 25 years ago... so there's still hope for you Shelly! ;)
http://cenvachristiansportbike.homestead.com/justkidding.gif


Like others mentioned...the key is being able to let someone into your life while maintaining your own independance....and that is true anyone not just women.
Of course the hard thing is finding a like minded person in this world of people who play mind games, control freaks, drama freaks, overly jealous, bums, deadbeats, the list of crazy's goes on.....and on....and on.

But hang in there... the right one will come along.

Sounds perfect.... Congrats on 25 years :D

[Jamie Slick]

acctually i have changed my stance!! WTF are these women doing either out of the kitchen, or bedroom. Has there been an unusually long batch of chains made??

now all of you "indipendent" women get yourselves back n the house where you belong, stop getting ideas above your station regarding thinking for yourself and having your own iterests.

If you bloke likes golf, you must also. Simple. Know your limits!!!!!!:rolleyes::o

oh......sorry.......

Heading to the kitchen......ummmmm.........nah, I'd rather head to the bedroom. :p

[Jamie Slick]

Originally Posted by gettin2dizzy
Any woman who has do define herself as independent I'd keep away from :wink: It's such an American thing to analyse your life and categorise yourself in to said groups. Personally, I like a girl who just gets on with it and doesn't give it a moments thought :smile: Having your own house, car, career etc can only be a bonus.







You have overlook dizzy...he has an "Americanism" for every occasion....:smt045



But deep down we know he really loves us....:smt060
(and is just jealous that we have better roads, cheaper petrol, and no logbooks)
:p ;) :D


:thumleft:

[Skip]

Like others mentioned...the key is being able to let someone into your life while maintaining your own independance....and that is true anyone not just women.
Of course the hard thing is finding a like minded person in this world of people who play mind games, control freaks, drama freaks, overly jealous, bums, deadbeats, the list of crazy's goes on.....and on....and on.

But hang in there... the right one will come along.

Thats what I did - and we got married last month - couldnt be happier! :smt060

[missyburd]

And Grinch that's one thing I don't do, cook ... can't cook won't cook LOL (OK so not the indepedant)


Also she wants someone who can cook......... not a lot to ask for is it? lol

Well if you find a man that can cook then do it together, learning along the way :smt045 then if he ain't the right one at least you've got tips for trapping the next one :cool: :p


acctually i have changed my stance!! WTF are these women doing either out of the kitchen, or bedroom. Has there been an unusually long batch of chains made??

now all of you "indipendent" women get yourselves back n the house where you belong, stop getting ideas above your station regarding thinking for yourself and having your own iterests.

If you bloke likes golf, you must also. Simple. Know your limits!!!!!!:rolleyes::o

Pmsl, that sounds dangerously like something YC would post :confused: :p



Hope you enjoyed your jollies Shelly :cool:

[Sid Squid]

Question for the guys ..... do you like independant ladies or do you feel intimidate by us ?

Why the two polarised options?

Surely there should be a third, and I feel the one that most people would choose:

I don't care.

Don't take this wrong, I'm not saying that people wouldn't or shouldn't care about you, but simply why would they care about your circumstance? Whether people find you attractive, (not necessarily in the physical sense), would be more relevant, no?

[Baph]

Why the two polarised options?

Surely there should be a third, and I feel the one that most people would choose:

I don't care.

Don't take this wrong, I'm not saying that people wouldn't or shouldn't care about you, but simply why would they care about your circumstance? Whether people find you attractive, (not necessarily in the physical sense), would be more relevant, no?

Hmm. Tricky.

Whilst I agree with Mr Squid, I think he worded it badly (must be a first!! Either that, or I read it badly...).

The "I don't care" is, IMO, an "I don't care if someone is independant or not." That said, an independant woman is, for me, more attractive than a dependant one. But there are also varying degrees of dependancy, and the extent to which a person is dependant (or not), isn't really high on my list of things to look for.

Definately a difficult subject, attractiveness. Seems easy on the surface, but is far from it.

[gettin2dizzy]

You have overlook dizzy...he has an "Americanism" for every occasion....:smt045



But deep down we know he really loves us....:smt060
(and is just jealous that we have better roads, cheaper petrol, and no logbooks)
:p ;) :D
hehe. I'm certainly jealous of a few things you yanks have. However you owe us big time for 'Will & Grace'!



As for you women, you all expect the bloody world nowadays. The more you give, the more they expect.

Bah! Sick of the lot of you! :rolleyes:;)

[Tomcat]

I meet a bloke once who seemed to like my drive, motivation, indepedance. We did lots of competitive sport etc and it was all fine ..... until I got better then him at stuff (eg mountain biking)!

We also lived together for a while and it didnt take me long to realise that he was slowly starting to try and control my thoughts and behaviour ... by telling be that I 'must be stupid' if I thought this or that for example ... generally trying to undermine me, unless I was agreeing with him. It became apparent that he actually didnt like it at all, and although he found it a challenge to become part of my life, once the challenge was complete, he then wanted me to 'simmer down!'

Am now with someone who would not want to change me, let alone dare try! So my opinion on this is men dont know what they want, until they have it :D

[neio79]

oh......sorry.......

Heading to the kitchen......ummmmm.........nah, I'd rather head to the bedroom. :p

LOL, good girl, ill join you virtually LOL ;)

[yorkie_chris]

Simple. Know your limits!!!!!!:rolleyes::o

http://exampointers.com/about/images/harry15.jpg

Look, listen and take heed!

[melody]

Question for the guys ..... do you like independant ladies or do you feel intimidate by us ???


I don't think it matters or at least it shouldn't matter. That is if you are referring to 'independence' in terms of material possessions?

[BillyC]

Please, everyone... while I don't want to indicate my opinion, preference or attraction for any of the options being discussed, could we get one thing right:

The word is independent

Like the newspaper, yeah? ;)

::hides::


:D


Helen would've thought it!

[Wayluya]

Like others mentioned...the key is being able to let someone into your life while maintaining your own independance....and that is true anyone not just women.

Of course the hard thing is finding a like minded person in this world of people who play mind games, control freaks, drama freaks, overly jealous, bums, deadbeats, the list of crazy's goes on.....and on....and on.




Yeah letting someone into your life is the key. Blokes also need to be wanted....even if they do not always realise it....and yer can only fake so much for so long........

Material independence is irrelevent (although IMO a bl##dy good idea!)....but really independence is a state of mind.

Independence is only a problem if you let it become one by preventing you from letting someone into your life......and when you do so - you DO risk being hurt, but that is just part of the deal......having said that you can have a "relationship" including living with someone without doing so - but IMO apart from certain conveniances what is the point? Hell, I once lived with a Woman for 3 months before I found out her name - longggg story :p - strangely enuf that did not last :safe:.


Of course the appearance of Independence can be off putting to a fella, depending on how it comes accross - but conversley some fellas will like that in a woman....WE are all different :p

I would add that as you get older it is not so much you need to lower your standards, but lower the bar of being open to get to know someone - accept that Mr Right (for you) may not have the suit of armour and a white horse as you dreamed about at 14 and that by now he may also have a few battle scars......IMO no substitute for time in getting to know someone.....and the more battle scars you carry the longer this can take......if it was easy it would not be worth it.......but you may end up with someone who loves you because of your imperfections, not inspite of them or simply puts up with them - because they are a part of what makes you......and horse or not would.........

Bon Voyage!

[Wayluya]

Not sure if this also helps :)

Roger & Elaine:

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?''

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see . . ..February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a damn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a damn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their .... . .

''Roger,'' Elaine says aloud.

''What?'' says Roger, startled.

''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have . . Oh God, I feel so . .... . ''

(She breaks down, sobbing.)

''What?'' says Roger.

''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.''

''There's no horse?'' says Roger.

''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.

''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,'' Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

''Yes,'' he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says.

''What way?'' says Roger.

''That way about time,'' says Elaine.

''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.

''Thank you,'' says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:

''Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?''

[Jools'SV Now]

shelly,

you need to find a chef,(sorts out the food problem)
who works in a pub(go for a drink and meet him)
and likes spanners(join in with the biking experience)
and walking (so you can all, including the dog, be together on days off)

simple really

nowt to do with independence, just about finding the right bloke - which will only ever happen when you're not looking;)
Stop thinking too hard and go do what you enjoy - see who you meet along the way :smt023

Me and the Mrs have our own careers, sports and interests - but we always feel most together over good food and a drink - just the way we are:drink:
It's our differences that makes us such a good team:p

[kitkat]

loved the roger elaine story

[BanannaMan]

Thats what I did - and we got married last month - couldnt be happier! :smt060




Congratulations Skip!:smt038
All the best to you and the Mrs. in the future!

[Skip]

Congratulations Skip!:smt038
All the best to you and the Mrs. in the future!
Thanks mate :D

[Jamie Slick]

LOL, good girl, ill join you virtually LOL ;)

;):smt079
Not sure if this also helps :)

Roger & Elaine:

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?''

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see . . ..February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a damn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a damn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their .... . .

''Roger,'' Elaine says aloud.

''What?'' says Roger, startled.

''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have . . Oh God, I feel so . .... . ''

(She breaks down, sobbing.)

''What?'' says Roger.

''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.''

''There's no horse?'' says Roger.

''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.

''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,'' Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

''Yes,'' he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says.

''What way?'' says Roger.

''That way about time,'' says Elaine.

''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.

''Thank you,'' says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:

''Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?''
cliffs notes? :smt090

[Shellywoozle]

omg I forgot about this thread .... shell goes off to read LOL

[BanannaMan]

Quote:
Originally Posted by neio79 http://forums.sv650.org/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://forums.sv650.org/showthread.php?p=1495327#post1495327)
LOL, good girl, ill join you virtually LOL :wink:

;):smt079







Going to be "Jamie" tonight??? ;)

[zunkus]

[quote=Wayluya;1495725]Roger & Elaine:
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine.../quote]

SO glad I persevered to read this, it makes one laugh but at the same time realise the difference between the sexes! IMO all falls into place when you meet the right person, but then you have to make it work. Even I bother myself sometimes so why expect to like somebody all the time, there has to be a little give.

[Wayluya]

[quote=Wayluya;1495725]Roger & Elaine:
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine.../quote]

SO glad I persevered to read this, it makes one laugh but at the same time realise the difference between the sexes! IMO all falls into place when you meet the right person, but then you have to make it work. Even I bother myself sometimes so why expect to like somebody all the time, there has to be a little give.

Arrrrrh, as you can see..........I am not just a pretty face :rolleyes:


Zunkus,

Just clicked your Profile - is your Avatar one of your own creations?

[Jamie Slick]

Quote:
Originally Posted by neio79 http://forums.sv650.org/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://forums.sv650.org/showthread.php?p=1495327#post1495327)
LOL, good girl, ill join you virtually LOL :wink:









Going to be "Jamie" tonight??? ;)

LOL! :smt077

[mister c]

Independence can be good, but sometimes be a really bad thing. I have been "seeing" a girl on & off (more off than on) for 18 months. I won't go into details, but she has had a really bad past, so tends to run away from anything seriously man related. She says that she wants her independence & to be alone, she knows where she is going, but then turns around & says that she is lonely but can't have a relationship because she wont let anybody in.
It is obvious to everybody around the 2 of us knows that we should be together, but she wont let it happen be cause, as she puts it "wants her independence".