View Full Version : HAMPSHIRE Constabulary ... lo lo lo
Blue_SV650S
02-05-08, 05:15 PM
Hello Hello Hello, what do we 'ave 'ere then?!!? .. :shock:
Na, I didn't get my collar felt today ;) ... but I AM just in the process of filling in an application form for a post in 'ampshire Constabulary :plod:
I feel dirty all over ... :D
What happened to your glittering teaching career?
Bluepete
02-05-08, 05:40 PM
Don't bother mate. Trust me on this, just don't waste the paper and ink!
Only joking!
When doing the form, make sure there are no spelling mistackes (sic) and that you read and answer each and every part of each question.
PM me if you need any advice, my rates are very low, especially of you can teach me to get my knee down!
PM me if you need any advice, my rates are very low, especially of you can teach me to get my knee down!
I'm not sure what's "wronger" BlueSV650S as a police man, or a policeman offering to help him if he shows him how to get his knee down :)
Bluepete
02-05-08, 05:43 PM
I know! I'm a baaaaaaaaad man (for a plumber)
Well, at least he's got the right username to be an ecilop man :D
Supervox
02-05-08, 05:47 PM
Oh boy !!
The NG-ers at work are just gonna LOVE this Nick !! :cool:
Bluepete
02-05-08, 05:55 PM
Well, at least he's got the right username to be an ecilop man :D
IT'S HIS DESTINY! :D
dont bother the police is one of the most backstabbing bunch of ***** i haveever met. My Mrs is having a disaplmaery at the moment cos a collegue has snitched and complained about an incident that happened and was delt with last december.
From what i have seen and heard if you like to work in an enviroment where you are surrounded by a bunch of backstabbing bas*ards then crack on.
If i ever find ount which collegue it was of hers i am going to mke them wish their mother had an abortion!!!!
Bluepete
02-05-08, 06:12 PM
Neio, that's not my experience at all. Yes, there will always be those keen on climbing the promotion ladder, hell, I suffered one recently causing me to shy away from this forum 'cos he logged on here to try to entrap me, but in general, it's a great job, and if you stay away from the office jobs, exciting and changeable from day to day.
It's a shame that backstabbers get so much credence. But the Cops have to be seen to be so transparent and willing to "Police the Police" that sometime, it is overdone.
Just remember, revenge is a dish best served cold etc!
Neio, that's not my experience at all. Yes, there will always be those keen on climbing the promotion ladder, hell, I suffered one recently causing me to shy away from this forum 'cos he logged on here to try to entrap me, but in general, it's a great job, and if you stay away from the office jobs, exciting and changeable from day to day.
It's a shame that backstabbers get so much credence. But the Cops have to be seen to be so transparent and willing to "Police the Police" that sometime, it is overdone.
Just remember, revenge is a dish best served cold etc!
yes i appriciate that not everyone is like that. But from things the wife has said as soon as there is a complaint or disaplinary its a case of you are on your own mate!! WTF is that all about? As i am a Military man it just makes my mind boggle, there is no way ever you would snitch on a work mate or grass on them unless it was for the most serious things. And if you did there are (highly illigal ) ways of making sure that person understands the eror of their ways;). If you cant trust your work friends or mukkas not to grass on you how are you going to have any confidence they will help you if you ned it. In my case if i was underfire etc. There seems to be no comaradery in her station no all one family type ethos. nothing.
My Mrs if obviously shaken by it a lot as the incident was delt wit, by way of a verbal telling off from her Sgt overseen by the inspector. Now 5 months later she get a letter telling her that an investigation is taking place.
Yes i know revenge isa dish best served cold. Like i say if i ever find out who it is ( we have our susissions) i will be employing a few choice interogation and tourture techniques on said snitch!! After i have ruined their career first.
as you can tell i am fuming. I would have conciderd the police after the army before, but hearing all my wife says about them not a chance, i think their is actually more honour amongst the thieves.
Blue_SV650S
02-05-08, 06:34 PM
What happened to your glittering teaching career?
I had my first day in school today .. I'll do a write-up after finishing this application form :)
..if you stay away from the office jobs, exciting and changeable from day to day..!
Well this is an 'office' post in the intelligence department 8) ... so, ok behind a desk, so not the most exciting role, but at least I wont have to deal with the scum on the streets on a daily basis 8)
Oh and I am filling the form in on my computer (and fighting the formatting!! :rolleyes:) , so if I see a wiggly red line, I know I have done 'bad' :D
Bluepete
02-05-08, 06:40 PM
Intelligence? Police?
Sorry, don't understand that one. Oxymoron comes to mind.
Blue_SV650S
02-05-08, 06:44 PM
Intelligence? Police?
Sorry, don't understand that one. Oxymoron comes to mind.
Now now ... :smt042
Don't worry, if I get in, I'll 'learn' them!! :D
One of the questions I have to answer is how many days sick I have had in past 3 years ... hell I don't know*!! :rolleyes:
Also they are making me fill in an equal opportunities page ... if opportunities were indeed equal, then I'd not need to fill that in would I ;) To be honest as a Straight, White, able bodied Male; I don't really tick any of the boxes that might give me a hand jumping the queue in getting a job coz of some silly quota they want to fill to show they aren't summin'ist!! :rolleyes:
*not even sure I have had a single one :scratch:- I'll have to ring my old HR on Tuseday!
Bluepete
02-05-08, 06:50 PM
Equal ops.
The modern Police Mantra
'Nuff said.
pretend to be gay that might help you move up the pecking order a bit??
Blue_SV650S
02-05-08, 07:22 PM
pretend to be gay that might help you move up the pecking order a bit??
Its only a temporary job on a 1yr contract (and only ~1/2 the pay I was on) ... it might lead to something further, it might not ... it just sounds like it might be quite interesting in the short term and I can blag the application with my existing skills 8)
To be honest (and this is bound to come out wrong, but hey, I'll say it anyway :oops:) I am actually a fair way over qualified and have many times the experience at many magnitudes of depth more than they are asking ... that'll either mean they will want me for an interview ASAP, or they will dismiss me as I am a bit 'too much' for the job :confused: .. basically its an assistant role and I could prolly do the main job and then some. If I was them, I wouldn't take me on for fear of my own job in the future!! :D - and to be honest that'd be my aim, so they would be right in thinking that!! ;) I see this as a foot/police boot in the door job 8)
Still it'll count as one of my 2 applications I need to do a week to get the dole even if they chuck my application straight in the bin!! :mrgreen:
So blue its not actually policing then? What is it - IT manager or something?
Blue_SV650S
02-05-08, 08:24 PM
So blue its not actually policing then? What is it - IT manager or something?
No, it is not policing ... feck that, not only do I not want to deal with scummy members of the public, I don't want to be hated by mankind any more than I am already (for just being me :monkey:)!! ... I mean being me AND a copper ... talk about a Mr Unpopular!! :D
Just in case I end up generating competition here, I'll refrain from tipping the internet off of the exact job I am going for ;) but basically it is diddling with intelligence data/information 8)
so whats the job you doing then
you goign in as a pcso or you going for a civil job if so whats the job ie department, i might be able to help with info with what its like etc
Blue_SV650S
02-05-08, 08:39 PM
so whats the job you doing then
you goign in as a pcso or you going for a civil job if so whats the job ie department, i might be able to help with info with what its like etc
I assume it is a civi job as I won't be doing any actual policing 8)
Thanks for the offer, but I think the description is pretty clear (its always gonna be different in reality, but I get the gist of what it involves).
I just hope the systems they have in place for collating and analysing this intelligence data are not too 'rigid' ... I actually envisage it being pretty archaic and inoperable/high workload, so going in there and developing my own (subsystem or complete system) so I can do it all at a press of a button ... so basically when set up, I can do a days work (that they expect of me) in a manner of seconds; then spend the rest of the day fecking about or simply go home if they don't keep tabs!! :lol: Basically as long as I am able to extract the data from their system (and if required put it back in again) after some Blue_ jiggery-pokery, I am laughing ;)
If it is too rigid, or secure so I can't extract, manipulate the stuff in my own way then throw it back in all 'sorted out' or give the derived answers they are after in that manner, I might actually have to work for my pay packet ... lets hope it isn't too rigid/secure shall we!! :mrgreen:
Just re-read that, it sounds a bit over pompous :oops: ... Basically ideally it'd be cool to do it all instantly, but In reality, I just hope to make myself a bit more efficient by working 'clever', finding week points/handraulic bits in their current method and producing new methods and widgets to aid me in doing my job quicker and potentially more accurately!! 8)
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