Silly things that non biking folk say

[Jasonr]

Today in work

"I never use the Mirrors on the Passenger side of my car" someone else says "yes I know what you mean I was driving along with both mine folded in and I only realised when I was parking and had to use them":confused:

A while ago two ladies talking in debenhams

"Well there are so many cars on the road now that there really is no room for motorbikes they should be banned":-k

[Drew Carey]

Recently heard some chavs in nice white trainers standing next to a pimped corsa saying "I wish I could filter like dem bikes......man they wouldn't be able to out run the beast then". :D

[Grinch]

"Ugg, ugg, urgh... me like car, me drive, vroom, vroom".

[ooger]

"its so dangerous"

and my favourite

"I didn't see you" - how many times would a biker get away with that one?

[_Stretchie_]

I was filtering towrds some lights on red this morning, end of the M32 in Bristol, wide lanes, doing about 10mph between the PARKED cars when a woman in some silver thing obviuosly heard the bike, I saw her look into the mirror and then she pulled forward and to the right so that she right close to the car in the next lane so that I could not get past...


WHY would you do something like that WHY, that's just shear

"If I can't do it no one else can, and I was breast fed and looked after until I was in my early thirties" kind of behaviour

[yorkie_chris]

That is dangerous behaviour which can cause very accidental and expensive toeslider/paintwork interference.

[Flamin_Squirrel]

I was filtering towrds some lights on red this morning, end of the M32 in Bristol, wide lanes, doing about 10mph between the PARKED cars when a woman in some silver thing obviuosly heard the bike, I saw her look into the mirror and then she pulled forward and to the right so that she right close to the car in the next lane so that I could not get past...


WHY would you do something like that WHY, that's just shear

"If I can't do it no one else can, and I was breast fed and looked after until I was in my early thirties" kind of behaviour

And if you were to kill them, YOU'D be the one in trouble. Where is the justice?

[DanDare]

Best conversation I had a work like that was a few months ago after bringing my bike to work.

One of the girls said " Oooh bikes are dangerous, a friend of mines son was killed a few years ago"

To which I replied " Sorry to hear but I am a safe rider"

I then expanded on the story: " Was he speeding at all "

Reply " Yes " ..... " He was in his new sports car, hit a bank and rolled it"

:scratch::scratch::scratch:#-o#-o#-o

[_Stretchie_]

Your avatar comes into play a bit there doesn't it....

[plowsie]

Slow down, you will get knocked off!

[gettin2dizzy]

I was filtering towrds some lights on red this morning, end of the M32 in Bristol, wide lanes, doing about 10mph between the PARKED cars when a woman in some silver thing obviuosly heard the bike, I saw her look into the mirror and then she pulled forward and to the right so that she right close to the car in the next lane so that I could not get past...


WHY would you do something like that WHY, that's just shear

"If I can't do it no one else can, and I was breast fed and looked after until I was in my early thirties" kind of behaviour
I had that less than 10m from the place I was going from a girl in a Z3. I was beeping, waving revving the engine but nothing... I had to wait until the lights went green for her....

[Alpinestarhero]

Today in work

"I never use the Mirrors on the Passenger side of my car" someone else says "yes I know what you mean I was driving along with both mine folded in and I only realised when I was parking and had to use them":confused:



I find alot fo cars with folded in mirrors.

So I am polite, and stop, and tap on the window, and point to it, and unfold it for them

Arn't I nice?

Matt

[SoulKiss]

I find alot fo cars with folded in mirrors.

So I am polite, and stop, and tap on the window, and point to it, and unfold it for them

THEN BREAK IT OFF!!!

Arn't I nice?

Matt

Thats a better plan of action for ya :)

[Rhiwbina_Squirrel]

There's a girl in one of my classes and every lessons I get an ear full about how dangerous bikes are, how bad they are for the environment and why no one should be allowed a bike with more than 250cc. Drives me nucking futs:smt013:smt013! When I try to talk she says "her mother has 'official' government statistics" proving that bikes will eventually lead to the end of the world. If you hadn't guessed, she really gets on my t!ts!

:rant: Rant over :)

Alex

[squirrel_hunter]

There's a girl in one of my classes and every lessons I get an ear full about how dangerous bikes are, how bad they are for the environment and why no one should be allowed a bike with more than 250cc. Drives me nucking futs:smt013:smt013! When I try to talk she says "her mother has 'official' government statistics" proving that bikes will eventually lead to the end of the world. If you hadn't guessed, she really gets on my t!ts!

:rant: Rant over :)

Alex

Yes, but is she fit?

[SoulKiss]

Yes, but is she fit?

You suggesting that in return he should get on her tits???

Fairs fair I guess......

[Baph]

There's a girl in one of my classes and every lessons I get an ear full about how dangerous bikes are, how bad they are for the environment and why no one should be allowed a bike with more than 250cc. Drives me nucking futs:smt013:smt013! When I try to talk she says "her mother has 'official' government statistics" proving that bikes will eventually lead to the end of the world. If you hadn't guessed, she really gets on my t!ts!

:rant: Rant over :)

Alex
You should ask her to bring these figures in to show you. Afterall, you want to see evidence of what she's claiming.

I reckon she'll suddenly go quiet though.

[Stu]

Today in work

"I never use the Mirrors on the Passenger side of my car" That's perfectly fine if they are willing to drive on the F****n left!
"Well there are so many cars on the road now that there really is no room for motorbikes they should be banned":-kon so many different levels that is seriously ROFL! :lol:

[Jasonr]

You should ask her to bring these figures in to show you. Afterall, you want to see evidence of what she's claiming.

I reckon she'll suddenly go quiet though.

Quite right play her at her own game freedom of information act and all that or just ahow her a copy of this weeks MCN where there is a really nice report about Road Tax and bikers this will show her how accurate government studies actually are (researchers making up figures!!8-[)

[Gene genie]

just walk into a shop with leathers on and carrying helmet while attempting to remove your gloves and someone is sure to say '' do you have a bike then?''

[Rhiwbina_Squirrel]

Yes, but is she fit?
Nope, not very :(

Alex

[Baph]

Nope, not very :(

Alex
But does she have a decent rack? ;)

[Rhiwbina_Squirrel]

EE's :thumbsup:

Alex

[Razor]

Them: Oh I don't know much about bikes.

Me:ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[STRAMASHER]

Suns oot and its boiling. Oh look at all the bikes in the bike park at work, including two Harley "Baggers" (Yes I watch too much Discovery Channel;) )

Cue every non-biking ingnoramous' cooing and fawning over them (not even any woman:rolleyes: )and asking me how "Great they are...", "Do you not wish...."

I got fed up explaining why they are tragic and give up, and just smile and nod in agreement. Coo!



Praying for rain.:smt074


:)

[Bluepete]

just walk into a shop with leathers on and carrying helmet while attempting to remove your gloves and someone is sure to say '' do you have a bike then?''

I did something similar yesterday, went to the hospital for a check up on my knee, the receptionist said

"Ooooh, bet it's hot in those leathers"

to which i replied,

"No, i just put the aircon on"

cue confused blonde moment :D

[Rhiwbina_Squirrel]

"Ooooh, bet it's hot in those leathers"

to which i replied,

"No, i just put the aircon on"

cue confused blonde moment :D

:laughat:That's amazing. I'll have to use that one day!

Alex

[Cloggsy]

"its so dangerous"

"I didn't see you" - how many times would a biker get away with that one?

Ah... The infamous SMIDSY :(

[yorkie_chris]

There's a girl in one of my classes and every lessons I get an ear full about how dangerous bikes are, how bad they are for the environment and why no one should be allowed a bike with more than 250cc. Drives me nucking futs:smt013:smt013! When I try to talk she says "her mother has 'official' government statistics" proving that bikes will eventually lead to the end of the world. If you hadn't guessed, she really gets on my t!ts!

:rant: Rant over :)

Alex

Rolling burnout whenever she's around, and a "hippy killer" t-shirt.

[pencil shavings]

Rolling burnout whenever she's around, and a "hippy killer" t-shirt.

HAHAHA!!! :p

i tend to get alot of people saying, ohhh, i bet thats fast, too fast for me, youve got balls. Which i dont mind strangely enough :salut:

[yorkie_chris]

I mostly get "fking hell that's loud" "what have you done to your tyres" and "why have you got 5 yards of duct tape and someones troughing on your mudguard"

[ArtyLady]

I get fed up with "aren't you brave!"
I usually reply "Im not scared of motorcyling - its the rest of life that frightens me! :rolleyes:

[Luckypants]

I mostly get "fking hell that's loud" cos it is!

"what have you done to your tyres" cos they wrecked!

"why have you got 5 yards of duct tape and someones troughing on your mudguard"cos you have!


HTH

[yorkie_chris]

Oi!
My tyres are the only legal bit on it!

I know WHY they say these things :-P

[Defender]

When I mention to people I have a bike, 90% of people start to relate a story of someone they knew who had been killed whilst on a bike. WHY do people do this?

When I go into a petrol station (with my lid on) to pay for fuel I say to the cashier, guess what number? Although there are no other bikers at the station, some of the cashiers still ask me for the pump number!

[Davido]

Have you ever filled up your car whilst wearing fullleathers and helmet?

Proper confuses people.

[Alpinestarhero]

You should ask her to bring these figures in to show you. Afterall, you want to see evidence of what she's claiming.

I reckon she'll suddenly go quiet though.

Evidence, and lengthy statistical analysis. Nothing like a good bunch of statistics to go with a set of data

[yorkie_chris]

Statistics saying something is dangerous vs personal freedom. That's an arguement you're never going to get anywhere with with a daft bint like that.

Rolling burnouts still get my vote.

[Alpinestarhero]

Rolling burnouts still get my vote.


OOo OOOO OOO me me! I know video showing a rolling burnout gone wrong. I dont think its been posted more than 20,000 times yet

[wyrdness]

Suns oot and its boiling. Oh look at all the bikes in the bike park at work, including two Harley "Baggers" (Yes I watch too much Discovery Channel;) )

Cue every non-biking ingnoramous' cooing and fawning over them (not even any woman:rolleyes: )and asking me how "Great they are...", "Do you not wish...."

I got fed up explaining why they are tragic and give up, and just smile and nod in agreement. Coo!

:)

My reply to that is to explain that I used to own one and that my Speed Triple is *far* better.

[Bear]

My favourites are "I always wanted a bike, but my mum/dad/uncle/neighbour/bloke down the pub is a nurse/doctor/neurologist/bin man and wouldn't like it..." How old are you?

Or "I'd like to get a bike but I'm scared of crashing..." Personally i love crashing, and it's the very reason I got into motorcycling...

(Cue loads of the Soho Massive with jokes like "Well, you're quite good at crashing..."!)

[21QUEST]

Soaked and dripping from head to toe......

Dummo: Is it raining out there ?"
Me: No, I've just been through the car wash :smt003


Ben

[Alpinestarhero]

My favourites are "I always wanted a bike, but my mum/dad/uncle/neighbour/bloke down the pub is a nurse/doctor/neurologist/bin man and wouldn't like it..." How old are you?

Or "I'd like to get a bike but I'm scared of crashing..." Personally i love crashing, and it's the very reason I got into motorcycling...

(Cue loads of the Soho Massive with jokes like "Well, you're quite good at crashing..."!)

Morning Crashy McGee!!!!

[Bear]

Morning Crashy McGee!!!!

STFU! I passed on that crown many moons ago. I think Jambo or Soulkiss are the current holders of the metaphorical yellow jersey, depending on whether the current definition of "crash" includes hitting a truck and having your front master cylinder ripped off or not!

[plowsie]

Soulkiss passed it to me when I got rammed from behind (steady, that sounds so wrong :lol:), then I think Jambo took it!

[rictus01]

"have you got a car yet"

asked that not 10 minutes ago by my boss at work, guess it's a revenge thing, hit by a car, got to make sure next time I'm in something bigger than them :smt102

Fancy one of these http://www.manbymotorplex.com/res_suppliers/mby100/pictures/Bedford_04.jpg

[Alpinestarhero]

That looks awesome. I'd like to commute to uni just once in one of those :D

Did anyone ever watch that 5th gear episode where they had that big mercedes truck that could tackle anything?

I saw one the other day. awesome

Ok, derailing: errr...no-one has said anything silly to me other than "your lucky in this hot weather, it must be nice riding about in a t-shirt"

Im sure it is. Can't be as nice if you come off though

[SoulKiss]

Soulkiss passed it to me when I got rammed from behind (steady, that sounds so wrong :lol:), then I think Jambo took it!

Hmm Crashy McGee is a kind of Soho thing - so maybe you were, maybe you weren't :P

I believe however Kinvig is the current KrashMeister.

Oh and clipping a lever end - even if you break the master cylinder is NOT a crash.

[Stu]

Oh and clipping a lever end - even if you break the master cylinder is NOT a crash.
Oh agreed, just a little nick doesn't count.


SK can't help it if his crappy bike falls apart from a touch :razz:



:lol:

[dissuade]

I have lost count of the number of times I have been asked "Do you have a bike then?" when I have had all my gear on. I have taken to replying "No, I just love the feel of leather against my skin", in response to which I get a lot of odd looks. Great.

And on Monday, from some fat dude in Tenby: "Aww, I bet it's a nice day for you to be sitting on the back of a bike." Yes, clearly, because women can't ride bikes of their own. Grr...

[Scoobs]

because women can't ride bikes of their own......

At last!

When are all the other biking ladies gonna recognise this fact?

[Grinch]

My brother said to me when I had all my gear on, "Going out on the bike then?" I replied with "No, I just like the way it feels on me."

[JediGoat]

Some common ones from vistors/customers in my shop:

A frighteningly common one made by mainly men or elderly folks: "Ooo....are there women that ride motorbikes then?"

After my snarled response, it's often followed by, "I suppose they can handle those little scooters" :smt011

More than once a lycra-clad wonder has come said, "I know this is mainly a motorbike shop, but do you sell bicycle inner tubes?" :|

My fave cycling one, "I know you mainly sell motorbike clothing, but could you fit this pannier rack to my bicycle?" :| :|

At the Earl's Court Custom Bike Show a couple of weeks ago, on more than one ocassion we heard, "Oh look, you can get bike clothes with armour in as well!" :?

But my absolute favourite was a couple of years ago, when I was parking up my bike in Holloway (the area, not the prison), and there was a bunch of lads chatting to each other as I put my disc lock on:

Lad 1: What's that curly lead...is it part of the alarm?
Lad 2: Nah, it's a cord to remind you that you have your disc lock on.
Lad 1: Why do you need reminding?
Lad 2: 'Cos if you drive off with your disc lock on, by the time you reach 30mph it'll catch in the forks and you'll crash!

:laughat: Aw...bless

Jo

[Grinch]

Where they planning on wheelie it away then... 30mph!!

[Jasonr]

I just had another one not actually saying anything stupid but the guy insists on doing the over exagerrated pretending to blip the throttle action type thing as though hes at the start of a motogp race every time he asks me anything about biking mind you hat off to the guy at least he got the right hand!

I also overheard a yoof in a corsa saying to his mate do ya reckon that bike will be quicker than my corsa nodding his head in the direction of my mates Blade ...... no mate turn your baseball cap back to front to aid wind resistance and your 10 year old boyed up corsa with a baked bean can exhaust will do 0-60 in about 2.5 seconds as well

Non bike related but deserves a mention .....
An ex girlfriend and a mate of hers were in a friends car I think it was one of them mini Volvo hatchback things that were about years ago and every time he put the Auto box in reverse it beeped. Ex says whats that for I reply its so that blind people know when they hit a reverse gear cos they cant see the light on the dashboard..... Ex and her mate reply oh what a good idea these volvo people think of everything........

Girl at work bends a spoon or something look I done a yuri gagarin on it

I've got a stigmata in my eye (instead of stigmatism) I'm personally very proud of that one !

[SoulKiss]

Oh agreed, just a little nick doesn't count.


SK can't help it if his crappy bike falls apart from a touch :razz:



:lol:

Better check out your own crappy FMC then - almost certainly the same one as I had.....

[ArtyLady]

Ive had many converstations that go something like...

I say "I will be on my bike"
they say "ooo...all that way on a bike? it'll take hours!!"
I say "its a motorcycle not bicycle"
they say "YOU....ride a motorbike???!!!"

Grrrrrrr.....:rolleyes: :lol:

[Alpinestarhero]

heres another one, from a lad i was tlkain to at uni the toher week (he'd had a few beers, a bit tipsy)

"so i know you ride a bike, but thats quite dangerous isnt it?"

me: "yes, it is. Hence why I walk around dressed like a power ranger"

"but don you get scared of falling off"

me: "sometimes, but never when im riding"

"but you could die"

me: "yea, and yu can die drinking that stuff, but as long as your not stupid, you stay alive, right?"

Strange, people associate bikes with death. Yet no-one accepts driving a car is dangerous aswell. Sometimes more dangerous; some car accidents leave the driver (and passenger(s)) trapped, where as if they had the same accident on a bike, they may have been thrown clear / slide off to one side and left with bruises, rather than being a passenger and ending up wrapped around a big ol' tree or whatever

[ArtyLady]

Strange, people associate bikes with death. Yet no-one accepts driving a car is dangerous aswell. Sometimes more dangerous; some car accidents leave the driver (and passenger(s)) trapped, where as if they had the same accident on a bike, they may have been thrown clear / slide off to one side and left with bruises, rather than being a passenger and ending up wrapped around a big ol' tree or whatever

Thats right - they seem to think that they are totally invincible in a car! :smt102 yet you hear of people being killed in them everyday! not to mention pedestrians and cyclists!:rolleyes:

[Alpinestarhero]

Thats right - they seem to think that they are totally invincible in a car! :smt102 yet you hear of people being killed in them everyday! not to mention pedestrians and cyclists!:rolleyes:

pedestrians and cyclists...often killed by cars

EVIL MACHINES!!!!! BAN THEM ALLLLLL!!!!!

[ArtyLady]

pedestrians and cyclists...often killed by cars

EVIL MACHINES!!!!! BAN THEM ALLLLLL!!!!!

Yes they are the root of all evil! :evil:

[Sid Squid]

Thats right - they seem to think that they are totally invincible in a car! :smt102 yet you hear of people being killed in them everyday! not to mention pedestrians and cyclists!:rolleyes:

Precisely. My reaction to the ridiculous statements is similar:

Them: Ride a motorcycle? You must be mad! have you ever seen what happens to a biker when he, (always 'he' you'll note), gets hit by a 38 tonne truck? (Feel free to substitute your recently regurgitated motorcycling horror story).

Me: Pedestrian? You must be mad! have you ever seen what happens to a human when hit by a 38 tonne truck?

Conversation usually quite short.

[ArtyLady]

Precisely. My reaction to the ridiculous statements is similar:

Them: Ride a motorcycle? You must be mad! have you ever seen what happens to a biker when he, (always 'he' you'll note), gets hit by a 38 tonne truck? (Feel free to substitute your recently regurgitated motorcycling horror story).

Me: Pedestrian? You must be mad! have you ever seen what happens to a human when hit by a 38 tonne truck?

Conversation usually quite short.

That one will be very useful in my repertoire of responses! :cool:

[missyburd]

Strange, people associate bikes with death. Yet no-one accepts driving a car is dangerous aswell. Sometimes more dangerous; some car accidents leave the driver (and passenger(s)) trapped, where as if they had the same accident on a bike, they may have been thrown clear / slide off to one side and left with bruises, rather than being a passenger and ending up wrapped around a big ol' tree or whatever

One of the attractions of biking as a student is that the most people you can 'endanger' is 2 and not even that if on a wee 125 whereas taking responsibility for potentially 5 or more (boots have been known to get used :rolleyes:) is something I would hate to do unless I'd had a considerable number of years experience!

[pencil shavings]

I just got asked after walking into my block, 'have you been cleaning your car?'
'ummmm, I only have a motorbike'
'oh yeah motorbike, thats what I meant'

lol, crazy people

[blueto]

I just got asked after walking into my block, 'have you been cleaning your car?'
'ummmm, I only have a motorbike'
'oh yeah motorbike, thats what I meant'

lol, crazy people

sounds old?

[pencil shavings]

sounds old?

nope

sounds blonde ;):laughat:

[blueto]

nope

sounds blonde ;):laughat:

old blonde maybe?;)

[pencil shavings]

old blonde maybe?;)

blonde and female :smt046

go on, guess another age ;)

[blueto]

blonde and female :smt046

go on, guess another age ;)

ermmmmmmmmmm#

shes really a he whose parents told the,m they were 47 on her 8th birthday.

they have never seen a bike b4 as they have been living (next door to alice)


so with the information provided id say the person is.

34?

[pencil shavings]

lol
I like your powers of deduction, but no.

The give away is that I am at uni, so people are mostly young, shes about 23. She just is a student = daft and at uni to get drunk and not have sex with me. lol

[Defender]

When I mention to people I have a bike, 90% of people start to relate a story of someone they knew who had been killed whilst on a bike. WHY do people do this?

This happened twice today. ;)

[Stu]

Sad to quote myself
I wonder if you would have gotten away with it if you hadn't mentioned it :lol: Those pesky kids.... [/scoobydoo mode]

[Defender]

I wonder if you would have gotten away with it if you hadn't mentioned it :lol: Those pesky kids.... [/scoobydoo mode]

Let's see!

[daz311066]

window cleaner took his ladders of his van the other day has he spun round with them on his shoulders he clipped my n/s mirror his reply was "sorry mate ive caught your wing mirror" to which i informed him i didnt realise me bike had wings

[Davido]

Witty...

[Frank]

When I wen on theNW3 it rained for the whole trip,and my misses said"told you to take the bike cover"Non biking women grrrrrr

[ethariel]

Boss turned round on the way out of work today and started with the 'You watch it and take care this weekend, those bikes are really dangerous in hot weather!' talk, i just asked him if 'rolling his convertable and drowning upside down in 3 inches of water when his seatbelt sticks' has ever occured to him........

Well that cut the goodnight rather short :)

[ljharmitt]

I always get asked "What bike do you have?" After I reply I always get "That means nothing to me, I don't know about bikes!" .........

[xXBADGERXx]

I get the old "Bikes are Dangerous" to which I exclaim "Nonsense , balderdash and piffle , bikes are no more dangerous than a fully loaded machine gun" ........... this gets me a horrified look usually , they then inhale to carry on their "told you so" routine . I take that very same wind out of their sails by quickly adding "bikes and fully loaded machine guns are inanimate objects . They only become dangerous when you involve human beings" . They then inhale again and I cut them short by holding up both my thumbs (Fonze Style) and saying "What`s got 2 thumbs and couldn`t give a Kerrapp about your opinion?" ... with a nice fat cheesy grin with obligatory crazy eyes ............... pff , people .

Oh . and don`t get me going on the old "There`s 2 kinds of bikers , those that have crashed and those that are going to" , well mate make that 3 , the 3rd type is standing right in front of you and would rather nail his scrotum to the mast of a sinking ship than listen to your inane drivel and is contemplating kicking you to death just for sport :D

[Red Herring]

When I mention to people I have a bike, 90% of people start to relate a story of someone they knew who had been killed whilst on a bike. WHY do people do this?


I usually tell them that actually very few people kill themselves whilst riding a bike, most of them are off the bike when they die.....

[wyrdness]

I've had this one a few times: "I could never ride a motorbike because I can't balance well".

[yorkie_chris]

I usually tell them that actually very few people kill themselves whilst riding a bike, most of them are off the bike when they die.....

Lol the old "not the fall, it's the sudden stop" thing then? :-P