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sv-robo
16-05-08, 09:20 PM
Have you ever wondered why?......

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at The Special Olympics?

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

If the temperature is zero outside today and its going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

If its true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Can you cry underwater?

What level of importance must a person have, before they consider assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change?...... They're still going to see you naked anyway

kitkat
16-05-08, 09:34 PM
no

cuffy
16-05-08, 09:47 PM
Thats a spooky thread title, i sent myboss an e mail today about unanswered questions about certain gings on lol, surprise surprise i still not had an answer, tossa.
Carry on peeps xx

K
16-05-08, 10:02 PM
Have you ever wondered why?......

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Because every once in a while it actually works.

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Cos they are always after your money - even the stuff you haven't got yet.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Because they believed you about the stars - then looked it upon google or something and got a different answer. They will never trust you again.

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? It does. What it doesn't stick to is the glue that's did stick to the inside of the bottle.

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Beacause the executioner doesn't want to die slowly from Tetnus, HIV or Hep B.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Because the first words of English he learnt were 'Razor' and 'Mirror'. (See Greystoke if you don't get that. ;))

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him? Because you threw the gun at his head. Duh.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Helmet hair is all the rage in the afterlife aparrently.

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? The same person who decided how to spell Dyslexia.

What is the speed of darkness? The speed of light... +1. It's always darkest before the dawn. ;)

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at The Special Olympics? Yes. But you have to display your Able-bodied badge.

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it? Duh - in a box. OK, a bag at a push, but it can rip so a box is better.

If the temperature is zero outside today and its going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? Too cold to go out on a bike.

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Someone had to remain behind to eat all the banannas.

If its true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here? Helping us.

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? It's the constant nagging that make's it both seem longer and yet wish it was over quicker.

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation? Yes, but it's OK. There's always another one on hand to negotiate.

Can you cry underwater? Yes - but you have the advantage of not letting anyone see how much of a wuss you are.

What level of importance must a person have, before they consider assassinated instead of just murdered? In this case you are only as important as someone elses bank balance.

If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches? For they are evil and like to mess with your mind.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? It's a diet conspiracy, someone else has already eaten the corners.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases? Because no-one cares about luggage when there are explosives and rockets to play with.

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours? The same reason people say things like 'talk like a parrot' (which has a rather restricted vocabulary)... people are stupid.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Does it matter - they can't hear what you're calling it anyway.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Everyone likes to feel big sometimes.

Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change?...... They're still going to see you naked anyway. Because they tend to get fired if they sit there with a drink proffering money enjoying the strip show.

That's why. ;)

Wayluya
16-05-08, 10:30 PM
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Because in WWII helmets were not for head protection - basically for communication gear (earphones and mike) (ok, I am sure also useful if yer bumped yer head getting in the cockpit :cool:, but not meant as crash helmets in the modern sense).

xXBADGERXx
16-05-08, 10:43 PM
What is the speed of darkness? The speed of light... +1. It's always darkest before the dawn. ;)

LMAO that`s a damn good answer

Paws
16-05-08, 11:35 PM
my brain hurts now lol

Blue_SV650S
17-05-08, 12:51 AM
That's why. ;)

K ... you need to get laid!!! :lol:

BanannaMan
17-05-08, 04:13 AM
In the States...
Why do you drive on parkways and park on driveways??? :confused:

Kinvig
17-05-08, 08:09 AM
That's why. ;)


*sigh*

There's always a joker out there! ;o)