View Full Version : The office weirdo
gettin2dizzy
31-07-08, 07:54 AM
Ours has a huge neat collection of (ordered) 'DVD Monthly' magazines on his desk (I mean who reads that?!), next to the collection of business mail order catalogues (Staples, Dickies workwear etc). He always wears a coat and has to answer his phone between the rings.
What's yours like?
Not got one? ..........That means only one thing ....
IT'S YOU! :smt045
Dave The Rave
31-07-08, 08:13 AM
Oh we used to have a king of them all.
He was getting ready to pick up a phone whilst shouting " COME ON" or "LETS DO IT" not pleasant when in the office with another 12 people.
On a bad day he would kick the bin with papers flying everywhere.
He brought his own coat hanger every day!
Just weard, well weard he was.
454697819
31-07-08, 08:17 AM
ours smells...
has no grasp of construction methods or phasing
tries to sell his "sculptures" to the architects and or anyone that stands still long enough,
Keeps calling me matt,, (Im Alex)
worst part is he is agency so hes here at 7am and wont go home untill 7...12 hours at £20 an hour.. thats very nice thank you....
strange thing is though he is just weird.. he creeps me out...
Used to have a factory weirdo when I worked in one: Lee. Used to buy a 2 pint carton of milk on Monday, and leave it on the radiator in our rest room to drink at breaks, then everyday for the rest of the week would bring in a pint and top it up. Also once cut his face shaving with a piece of scrap aluminium because someone told him it was razor sharp. After reading the small ads in the Daily Sport once asked me if 0898 numbers were london numbers, cos he wanted to go visit one of the ladies who advertise in the back... He also thought that the phrase "your statutory rights are not affected" on the back of a crisp packet referred to the right to a fair trial.
he was a card...
SoulKiss
31-07-08, 08:26 AM
Not got one? ..........That means only one thing ....
IT'S YOU! :smt045
It had better be me - I put a lot of effort into making sure its me :)
Keeps calling me matt,, (Im Alex)
Ah... the Trigger/Dave scenario :lol:
Our office wierdo prefers fruit to cakes and chocolate. Beat that :D
Ah... the Trigger/Dave scenario :lol:
Our office wierdo prefers fruit to cakes and chocolate. Beat that :D
Oh easy. We had one who thought that traffic wardens do a good job 'because I don't park illegally'. She didn't last very long.
They do do a good job, but they are just not good at it.
Alpinestarhero
31-07-08, 08:48 AM
There was one lad at uni on one of my modules, he was a bit odd. I can't remember everything, but here are some of the thngs that stuck out:
1) I saw him a few times laughing to himself whilst eating his lunch
2) I saw him laughing whilst reading the gaurdian newspaper (spelling, i know)
3) He got in a bit of a panic during one lecture when it was revealed apple pips have a small amount of cyanide in them, and he eats the whole apple. core and all (thats odd in itself, least to me)
4) he had an odd dress sense, sort of like he was stuck back in the 1960's or something. Slicked back hair, ankle swinging trousers, wore braces (how i wish he would strut about holding his braces and then pinging them when he had a great idea)
5) He wandered around the labs looking like a lost sheep. Actualy, scrub that one, 90% of all other students did aswell
Matt
gettin2dizzy
31-07-08, 08:49 AM
Used to have a factory weirdo when I worked in one: Lee. Used to buy a 2 pint carton of milk on Monday, and leave it on the radiator in our rest room to drink at breaks, then everyday for the rest of the week would bring in a pint and top it up. Also once cut his face shaving with a piece of scrap aluminium because someone told him it was razor sharp. After reading the small ads in the Daily Sport once asked me if 0898 numbers were london numbers, cos he wanted to go visit one of the ladies who advertise in the back... He also thought that the phrase "your statutory rights are not affected" on the back of a crisp packet referred to the right to a fair trial.
he was a card...
:lol:
Where do these spanners come from?!
(IT normally;))
Alpinestarhero
31-07-08, 08:54 AM
(IT normally;))
You might wanna start running....
SoulKiss
31-07-08, 08:55 AM
:lol:
Where do these spanners come from?!
(IT normally;))
Why? Can he run faster than I can hack his PC?
Alpinestarhero
31-07-08, 08:59 AM
He might get out of range of the USB missile launcher at least?
timwilky
31-07-08, 09:01 AM
We had one in the D.O who turned up one day in his pyjamas. Got sent home of course. Never came back as he topped himself when he got home.
We had another who when I advised him of the office dress code and the need to wear a tie, came in next day in a blue jumper with a green tie knitted into it. and a blue rinse hair job. We quickly realised we had employed a right mincer. Over the top with it, very poor coder and didn't last his probationary period. We later found out that at the time he joined us he was terminally ill and was doing what the hell he liked whilst he could
Oh yes - there was this one bloke, way back - he used to bring his newspare to work each day. As he read each page, he ripped it out tore it into little pieces and put them in the bin.
"WTF are you doing?"
"I bought the paper, why should I let anyone else read it?".:toss:
Faneffintastic!!
This was the same man who used to 'read' the info on his PC screen by placing his finger on the screen and moving it along!!:D:smt045
He did loads of other weird stuff that escapes me right at this moment - it was about twenty years or more ago...
Gazza77
31-07-08, 09:28 AM
Ours has a huge neat collection of (ordered) 'DVD Monthly' magazines on his desk (I mean who reads that?!), next to the collection of business mail order catalogues (Staples, Dickies workwear etc). He always wears a coat and has to answer his phone between the rings.
What's yours like?
Not got one? ..........That means only one thing ....
IT'S YOU! :smt045
What happens if you work in on office on your own :confused:
Of course, our current office weirdo likes to inappropriately touch other members of staff, gaffer tape his colleagues into the toilet, pick up and spin certain staff members through 360 degrees on a vertical axis, lock staff members in the back of vans for 5 minutes at a time, slow dance with another man during important meetings...
3 guesses who it is?
Mr Speirs
31-07-08, 09:58 AM
Yeah I work in a warehouse on my own.
Being the weird one and being the person who observes my own weirdness really is two peoples jobs. I should get a pay rise.
Jayneflakes
31-07-08, 10:41 AM
My place hired a couple of new technicians to work with me. Fine enough until it dawned rather rapidly that one of them was quite peculiar.
He would go for long walks in the middle of the working day...
He once swung at me with a knife while in the Biology Prep room for a "joke"!
He offended a great deal of folks by opening his mouth and saying inappropriate things.
Sulked for days over petty things.
She though was just as odd, no interpersonal skills, rude and mildly racist.
They employ the very best people in Education. I used to think I was the weirdo, cycling to work on the mountain bike even through a flood, hugging folks after a good experiment, laughing a lot... Turns out I was the normal one... Oh the shame...:D
thedonal
31-07-08, 11:12 AM
That's usually me. It's good to be different.
1) I saw him a few times laughing to himself whilst eating his lunch
Nothing wrong with that. I think a lot. Some of those thoughts are funny. So I laugh.
plowsie
31-07-08, 12:23 PM
Ours is a whiny old bat that has a thing about always doing her make up and makes everything a difficult task...I'd like you to meet....The missus :lol:
If not its that stupid weirdo that rides a bike - oh wait, thats me!
Captain Nemo
31-07-08, 12:45 PM
we have a proper odd ball,
every morning he arrives at the office in leather, then gets changed in the toilets for 15 mins, he brings his own decaf tea bags and has a big plate of salad every lunch, then he pulls open his drawer which is full of bike mags instead of office paperwork, and sits quitely on his own reading and crunching salad...what a wierdo.......
oh 5hit , , , , its me !!!!!
nah real one when i worked at Leeds council (local authorities deffinately have the most wierdo pre capita ration) he used to buy stuff for his lunches in bulk, which is fair enough, save a few bob
but,
if he gets a 6 pack of muller light, he has to eat them all in the order they come out of the wrapper, he has to eat all oif them before he can eat anything else, same when he gets multi pack of twix or whatever, hell have all 6 before moving onto to the 12 pack of quavers, ,
he used to clear a shelf in the fridge and stack his stuff in strictly spaced order, 5 apples perfectly spaced or 6 mars bars equidistant, , if he ate one hed re arrange the reaminder to manke sure they were balanced properly,
i some times used to move his apples slightly out of spacing just to freak him out, ,
hed walk back in the office looking stressed and upset, but never asked whod moved his fruit
frickin wierdos
startrek.steve
31-07-08, 01:22 PM
Used to work with a guy called Fred many years ago, used to comb his hair in the clocking-on clock, once left his comb stuck in his hair, and we never told him for about 3 hours! Used to drive his car everywhere at 20mph, but was always talking about "Screaming through the gears". He used to complain about how tight the taps were on the sink when he made a cuppa, so we cranked all the taps tight with mole-grips! He gave up & went thirsty all day!
Steve
gettin2dizzy
31-07-08, 01:43 PM
Used to work with a guy called Fred many years ago, used to comb his hair in the clocking-on clock, once left his comb stuck in his hair, and we never told him for about 3 hours! Used to drive his car everywhere at 20mph, but was always talking about "Screaming through the gears". He used to complain about how tight the taps were on the sink when he made a cuppa, so we cranked all the taps tight with mole-grips! He gave up & went thirsty all day!
Steve
The office weirdo tends to be the Startek fan :lol:
:smt045
startrek.steve
31-07-08, 01:49 PM
The office weirdo tends to be the Startek fan :lol:
:smt045
Hmm.. dunno... never seen Startek... any good?
Steve :toss:
gettin2dizzy
31-07-08, 02:02 PM
Hmm.. dunno... never seen Startek... any good?
Steve :toss:
Love it. Here's my WoW avatar for you :D
http://forums.sv650.org/www.slapyo.com/wp-content/NintendoNerdLord.jpg
Wayluya
31-07-08, 05:46 PM
Many moons ago I started collecting..........paper clips :D Every one had to either be a different shape or colour or size. Obviously ;)
And every time I moved firm I took them with me.
Folk used to think it was a bit weird. But if I had a pound coin for every person who turned up with a "unique" paperclip for my paper clip collection I would be quite rich.......the most fun was the look of genuine dissapointment on faces if I already had it!! (when you are in the hundreds, that happens a lot!).
What happened to them? I threw them away. After 4/5 years got a bit boring.......:toss:
But if I had a pound coin for every person who turned up with a "unique" paperclip for my paper clip collection I would be quite rich.......
but you didn't, you had a paperclip :roll:
:lol:
Wayluya
31-07-08, 05:54 PM
but you didn't, you had a paperclip :roll:
:lol:
LOL :D
Unfortunately all longggggggg before E-bay or otherwise who knows??? :D
LOL :D
Unfortunately all longggggggg before E-bay or otherwise who knows??? :D
& i'm sure no one's ever compared your lame (oops sorry ;)) experience to the guy that traded one red paperclip for a house? ;)
lass who i work with HAS to tell EVERY customer the "hilarious tale" about when she went round the nurberg ring in her battered old peugeot-after about the 100th time its wore thin with us...
Speedfight???
:lol:
Nope, peugeot car, which makes it worse as i find most bikers dont wanna hear about some chav trying to rag there car round there!
joshmac
31-07-08, 07:24 PM
Of course, our current office weirdo likes to inappropriately touch other members of staff, gaffer tape his colleagues into the toilet, pick up and spin certain staff members through 360 degrees on a vertical axis, lock staff members in the back of vans for 5 minutes at a time, slow dance with another man during important meetings...
3 guesses who it is?
1) You?
2) Bear?
3) The official .org deviant?
No? OK....I give up :scratch:
How do you gaffer tape someone to the toilet? Surely they'd just rip it as you tried to put the on
:lol:
joshmac
31-07-08, 07:25 PM
Speedfight???
:lol:
:smt046
Moffatt666
31-07-08, 10:20 PM
Ok, where do I start?
He once filmed a coleague (who left) taking a dump from the neighbouring cubicle.
He gropes other male staffers and frequently exposes himself.
He believes and spreads stupid racial/religious stereotypes
He's from a particularly weird bit of Coventry.
It's not me.
gettin2dizzy
31-07-08, 11:10 PM
Ok, where do I start?
He once filmed a coleague (who left) taking a dump from the neighbouring cubicle.
He gropes other male staffers and frequently exposes himself.
He believes and spreads stupid racial/religious stereotypes
He's from a particularly weird bit of Coventry.
It's not me.
And that's why I would never work for Sir Trevor McDonald:rolleyes:
w
i some times used to move his apples slightly out of spacing just to freak him out, ,
Umm...confession time.
My son had OCD as a small child and would keep his room spotlessly clean and tidy, we're talking showhouse standards from a 3 year old. If I wanted to punish him I simply went into his room and took just one shoe from the perfectly lined up row under his bed.
This would freak the poor little sod right out, to the extent that he once threw out the almost new Nike trainer I'd left behind because he couldn't stand to see it sitting there alone.
One day I mentioned what I was doing to a friend who's a psychologist, and she told me that apparently I was actually causing him serious mental anguish that could develop into a nasty mental condition. It's not like me to want to hurt my kids - punish them and teach them right from wrong, but never hurt them - so I stopped...just in time for him to grow out of it and start leaving his room in a proper sh!te state all the time. We were secretly relieved that it was like that, so never made too much of a fuss about him tidying.
Speedfight???
:lol:I had one of them a Mk1 version. It was bad enough going round corners let alone the 'ring! Horrid scooter, horrid.
Alpinestarhero
01-08-08, 12:42 PM
I had one of them a Mk1 version. It was bad enough going round corners let alone the 'ring! Horrid scooter, horrid.
I'll second that; I dunno how I got my mk1 round corners, i rode it again a while back and I had to wobble round conrers, horrible!!
If it had proper front suspension it'd be ok
wyntrblue
01-08-08, 12:45 PM
my boss takes the biscuit...
for starters he has no front teeth, he used to when i started but he removed them because " i dont wanna look stupid" yet now he has no front teeth. he spends all day reading the reviews for things like 3 year old computer parts while trying to find the perfect bit....
to make matters worse, he never does any work at all (all our teams work is driven buy customer calls and we get graded on how meny calls we can close) he never takes on calls or closes them. yet he never gets fired or disaplined. he constantly claims to know about technologys hes never heard of and is often proved to know nothing.
a good example of that is when we asked him to create a user account in active directory and he went n got a paper folder and wrote the guys name on it then said triumphantly "i have made his home folder"
They do do a good job, but they are just not good at it.
You said 'do do'...
... tee hee hee! ;)
You said 'do do'...
... tee hee hee! ;)
:lol:
Iansv II
01-08-08, 02:40 PM
Too many weirdo's and freaks at my place to put one as top of the pile....
Can't wait to get away
From reading this, I am the weirdo.
Have my own lunch, by myself.
Read mags, do my own thing
I used to have a USB launcher, that i'd fire randomly at people, for my own entertainment.
Thing is, is it being weird, or independant?
joshmac
01-08-08, 03:52 PM
If it had proper front suspension it'd be ok
Just see the list of mods for the speedfight 2... the latest ZX pipe (which of course makes it do 75mph alone :rolleyes:), blue neon lights all over it :smt103, a full blown sound system under the seat (taking away one of the few advantages of a scooter over a bike, without a topbox that is :p), and finally a Gixxer front end :D
Miss Alpinestarhero
01-08-08, 07:13 PM
we have a proper odd ball,
if he gets a 6 pack of muller light, he has to eat them all in the order they come out of the wrapper, he has to eat all oif them before he can eat anything else, same when he gets multi pack of twix or whatever, hell have all 6 before moving onto to the 12 pack of quavers, ,
he used to clear a shelf in the fridge and stack his stuff in strictly spaced order, 5 apples perfectly spaced or 6 mars bars equidistant, , if he ate one hed re arrange the reaminder to manke sure they were balanced properly,
i some times used to move his apples slightly out of spacing just to freak him out, ,
hed walk back in the office looking stressed and upset, but never asked whod moved his fruit
frickin wierdos
He probably had Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Not a very nice illness to deal with.
chakraist
01-08-08, 09:10 PM
He probably had Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Not a very nice illness to deal with.
Correct. You and Lozzo are right in that doing something to counteract it does cause serious mental anguish, I have this issue when friends come round and I can't do all my things in fear of looking stupid. I also have tourettes, and I tend to combine the two.
Things I have done in the past/still do:
o If I mistype a word, I have to delete exactly back to the end of the other word, this used to happen with writing things too, which led to me crossing out words 4 or 16 times if I wasn't in the right frame of mind to write it or had a negative thought when writing it.
o Jumping up and down on door entrances four times/16 times if I messed up/64 times if I was really tired or in a bad way.
o Recently on the bike, I have to stand up on the pegs, feet off the pegs and hands off the bars in order, in a similar vein I have a few minutes of things before I go to bed/sit down. Also recently if I open the throttle fully, I have to fully open it again 1/3 times (to make 2 or 4 times). This is something I need to sort out.
My tourettes has died down a lot but I used to shake my head a lot, blow random kisses, cross my eyes or gurn. Just some off the top of my head :D
Please don't be this way to colleagues, it's painful :(
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