Nuisance phone calls to the office...

[Baph]

For a while now, one of the guys in the office has had his bank calling with "personal calls" - which result in one of us getting up, going to his office to tell him & generally wasting time. It'd be OK if we didn't have to get up. :rolleyes:

My trick for these people has just been to say "One sec, I'll try & find him for you..." then put them on hold, and imagine that the call never happened. :smt083See how long they stay on hold before getting bored & hanging up. The record is just shy of 6 minutes.

We had another call a few minutes ago, and came up with a genius plan (IMO anyway).

I answered the call, and treated it as above, simply put them on hold. Then, after 3 mins on hold, I passed them to someone else in my team, who answered "Hi, xxxx speaking..." Queue the bank asking for the intended person again, "Hold on, I can't see him, I'll try & find him."

She then waited 3mins, and transferred them to someone else in my team, who repeated what she'd just done. Only this time, 3 mins later, he wrote down the number they had called from, and transfered them back to their own call centre.

I'd of loved to hear the conversation. :lol:

Anyone got any other comical ways we can use to give them the message that they shouldn't call us (believe me, we've tried to tell them properly - as has the guy that they call, they simply don't listen)??

[Gazza77]

Only this time, 3 mins later, he wrote down the number they had called from, and transfered them back to their own call centre.

I'd of loved to hear the conversation. :lol:

Anyone got any other comical ways we can use to give them the message that they shouldn't call us (believe me, we've tried to tell them properly - as has the guy that they call, they simply don't listen)??

Keep doing this, but use other targets. Talking clock, local radio phone in, rail enquiries, etc.

[Filipe M.]

Keep doing this, but use other targets. Talking clock, local radio phone in, rail enquiries, etc.

The butchers, undertakers, chinese restaurants...

[Baph]

Nah, transferring them back to themselves is far funnier. Although a rival bank may be just as funny. :smt115

[rigor]

Transfer them to someone from the phone book with the same name ....

[Mr Speirs]

One of my work colleages used to answer the phone to cold callers selling things and nine times outta ten he would just try selling them stuff that we sold. They hung up pretty quickly.

Try selling them things.

[stewie]

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI :D

[SoulKiss]

One of my work colleages used to answer the phone to cold callers selling things and nine times outta ten he would just try selling them stuff that we sold. They hung up pretty quickly.

Try selling them things.

Nah, mention the TPS - works a treat

[Baph]

Nah, mention the TPS - works a treat
Done that, doesn't work with these guys, as it's a number that the lad in the office has given them for a contact number.

[SoulKiss]

Done that, doesn't work with these guys, as it's a number that the lad in the office has given them for a contact number.

Just tell them that he has left?

[Baph]

Just tell them that he has left?
I want a laugh though too!

[SoulKiss]

If you have a decent PBX just program it to redirect calls to the number he has given from the banks number to a random company directors mobile?

[Spiderman]

Can you recognise the number they call from on called ID?

If so then answer the phone in the following ways:

"Hi Dominoes Pizza"
"Hi, colonic irrigation bookings - when would you like to come in?"
"Hi, if you're calling regarding your loan i'm sorry to say you've been declined"

etc.

[chakraist]

We have some odd calls in at work (Saga), one guy said he was snoop doggy dogg and that the policyholder was dr. dre, they then proceeded to ask most of my team out and play eminem down the phone. Was quite interesting, but not as interesting when the police phoned asking for insurance for a convicted paedophile. Not cool.

[Mr Speirs]

Can you recognise the number they call from on called ID?

If so then answer the phone in the following ways:

"Hi Dominoes Pizza"
"Hi, colonic irrigation bookings - when would you like to come in?"
"Hi, if you're calling regarding your loan i'm sorry to say you've been declined"

etc.

Or
'House of pains, whips and chains'
'Sperm Donations, You shake it we'll take it'

[El Saxo]

Or
'House of pains, whips and chains'
'Sperm Donations, You shake it we'll take it'

My personal favourite is "Southern Crematorium, you kill 'em, we grill 'em".

I've put a few telesales callers on the back foot with that one at home, and we don't have caller ID!

[Richie]

Or
'House of pains, whips and chains'
'Sperm Donations, You shake it we'll take it'

My personal favourite is "Southern Crematorium, you kill 'em, we grill 'em".

I've put a few telesales callers on the back foot with that one at home, and we don't have caller ID!

OMG... I'm in Orrr of that Humour... Can't wait till I get back to the Falklands........

ring ring....
"Sperm Donations, You shake it we'll take it, please remember that your live on Stanley FM, How can we help you this fine day?"[-o<

[Gordon B]

Battersea Dogs Home, Fido speaking....

[neillfergie]

answer in Chinese accent "Golden Sun " wait for their opening line and say "No we no see your cat!" and hang up

[Shellywoozle]

Rang Chester Zoo up once and asked for Mr G Raff and Mr C Lion he he he

[Woz]

Old favourites that I need to ressurect are...

"Good afternoon, Bury banana bending factory"

And

"Hello, Ramsbottom home for the semi dead"

[Mr Speirs]

My girlfriend loves winding these people up and ones of my personal favourites of hers was:

Phone rings at 6.05pm
'Hello is Mr X there'
'Nope'
'When would be the best time to reach him'
'Errrrrrrrrm 6pm'
'But its 6.05pm now'
'Yep, goodbye'

[Mr Speirs]

Oh another thing I like to do is when they ask you to spell your name you do this:

S for spelling my name to an idiot
P for ****ed off
E for Errrr Elephant
I for Idiot
R for Really wasting my time
S for Still spelling my name for a idiot

[Richie]

ring ring...

"War Office, You wanna Fight..."