Devastating news for me..

[Welsh_Wizard]

Just found out that an old friend of mine decided to take his life last week. Granted, I haven't seen the lad for a while but about 6/7 years ago, we were pretty close I would say..

Haven't had to deal with something like this and don't really know how to react.

On the one hand I feel really sad that someone who I used to spend quite considerable time with has decided to go down this route but I also feel quite angry. Angry that he has put his family and missus' through a whole life time of pain. He was 30 and I can confidently say that the thoughts that inevitably led to his demise wasn't about when I knew him.

Really emotional right now.

****..

[Alpinestarhero]

Dude, sorry that you have to be faced with this. It's hard, granted...I still havn't got over my cousin's suicide really. It's easier now, but it hurts.

I know your hurting, but it'll get easier. Being angry is ok, but be careful how you channel that anger.

Man hugs extended

Matt

[Lissa]

Sorry to hear this:(

My kid brother committed suicide in 2001. I still miss him.

I have never been angry with him though. How can you be angry with someone in such despair that death seems to be the only option?

Try to remember the good times. It doesn't stop the hurt, but it helps, a little.

[Foxy]

Dude, sorry that you have to be faced with this. It's hard, granted...I still havn't got over my cousin's suicide really. It's easier now, but it hurts.

I know your hurting, but it'll get easier. Being angry is ok, but be careful how you channel that anger.

Man hugs extended

Matt

+1
I am sorry to hear your news. It isn't good when anyone takes their own life. My Grandmother took her own life as she was sooooo lonely. None of us knew of her despair or loneliness :(.

:grouphug: Foxy

[Sean_C]

How can you be angry? I'm sorry, I just don't understand.
My mum tried, very nearly succeeded, I was an emotional wreck but I was never angry. How can you be angry? You can't comprehend what took him to that stage.

However, I'm very sorry to hear this, and I hope you can find a way to deal with this ok :)

[shonadoll]

People deal with grief differently - anger is actually quite a common feeling for those left behind after suicide.

I feel for you, that's so sad.

[Wayluya]

Haven't had to deal with something like this and don't really know how to react.

On the one hand I feel really sad that someone who I used to spend quite considerable time with has decided to go down this route but I also feel quite angry. Angry that he has put his family and missus' through a whole life time of pain.


Any emotions you are feeling right now are "normal". Whatever they are.

It probably doesn't help, but his suicide was fook all about you or even his family and Missus. In many respects selfish, but rarely meant that way. Just cos' stuff is in your head doesn't make them any the less real.

Try and remember him for the good stuff. Both for your sake and for him (after all, I am sure that their was more in his life to define him than simply his manner of death).


He was 30 and I can confidently say that the thoughts that inevitably led to his demise wasn't about when I knew him.


Quite possible, but I wouldn't put money on that. Time is not always a great healer, it can be a great way to wear you down instead.

[Welsh_Wizard]

I guess it's just down to the circumstance..

Broadly he travelled quite a considerable distance away from his own home to go through with it just round the corner from his girlfriends house who he had been arguing with..

I just feel that if he was sure this was the route he wanted to take, he didn't need to make it so blatantly obvious that he was doing it over the issues he had with his missus..

Maybe my emotion is misplaced and it isn't anger at him directly, just anger that someone has literally got nothing else to go for so has chosen that path.. life just seems' pretty f'ing shyte at the mo' if you consider the state of everything you know ?? Just wish sometimes you could go back in time to when it was all cool you know?? 6 week long summr holidays in high school seem like a good start ;) - no bills and shops still sold mountain dew !!

[Sean_C]

People deal with grief differently - anger is actually quite a common feeling for those left behind after suicide.

I feel for you, that's so sad.

Indeed, I apologise if I came across as rude- I know what you're feeling, just maybe expressed it differently.

[Shellywoozle]

:( Sorry to hear of this loss, sad times for all who knew him. Big Woozle hugs to you.

You will go through so many feelings and you won't be able to control them so if it's anger you're feeling then just go with it. Feelings are one thing you just cannot control unfortunately.

You got lots of orger mates and sure many close mates you can talk to this about, just don't keep things inside, better out than in.

xxxx

[Foxy]

People deal with grief differently - anger is actually quite a common feeling for those left behind after suicide.

I feel for you, that's so sad.

+1 No-one knows how they are going to feel or react when met with such news especially of those close to you no matter how long you haven't seen them for...

[Welsh_Wizard]

Indeed, I apologise if I came across as rude- I know what you're feeling, just maybe expressed it differently.

mate, no worries.. i didn't give you the circumstance of why the anger so no worries like..

[Sean_C]

The thing that helped me best was finding somebody to talk to.. Took a while to find the "right" person, but as soon as I did, I found it a lot easier.

[timwilky]

I had a friend do it. He was a doctor and took 10 times the lethal dose. So no cry for help he knew what he was doing. He had suffered depression since undergoing drug trials as a medical student and blamed the trial for messing with his head. (http://archive.prestwichandwhitefieldguide.co.uk/1999/6/4/769507.html)

Dealing with it was hard work. His mother found him. Dad was an ex senior detective who took the facts in his stride and was battered emotionally. His brother is my best mate. He phoned me to say "Daft ******* has topped himself". I went straight round to his place and they had not got round to removing the body.

His brother and I had to clear out his place. Deciding what to keep for his parents/friends etc. What to throw out. There were over 300 empty wine bottles in his loft. He would lie in bed, drink a bottle and throw the empty through the hatch. So nobody actually saw how much he was drinking.

You hear crap, cowards way out etc. To my way of thinking it takes some guts and determination to do it. Then again my brain wasn't wired the same way as Kevs. His family are still shaken by it nearly 10 years afterwards

[Biker Biggles]

Had a mate from work do it some years ago and I felt angry too.Other workmates including his closest mate felt very much the same,so its quite normal to feel that.
It was totally unexpected with this bloke as well.Time moves on and you deal with it.

[Alpinestarhero]

five years on from my cousin's suicide and I'm still angry when I think about it with anything more than a passing thought. I feel like I've been kicked in the face a thousand times by him, like all the things we did together meant nothing. I'm sure if he knew how many people gave a damn about him, he wouldn't have done it. For me, my cousin's suicide was a spur-of-the-moment outburst of anger directed inwards toward himself, his life. And I know it was, becuse he did it after an argument with him mum...after making a phone call to my nan telling her he was coming up to see her, so he had plans and stuff.

How can you not be angry with that? If he sat down for 5 minutes and took some deep breaths or went for a run or something, he might be here, still being my best mate, still being everyone's best mate.

[Sean_C]

I'll concede. I just know that I can't be angry at my mum, cos I know why, not in exact details but I know enough not to want to know any more.

[Alpinestarhero]

I'll concede. I just know that I can't be angry at my mum, cos I know why, not in exact details but I know enough not to want to know any more.

Hey dude, everyone feels differantly about stuff. I'm angry because I don;t know, you know enough so maybe that can settle you a bit. Lissa isn't angry either...don;t concede or anything, because thre's nothing to concede...everyone deals with stuff in their own way :)