What are your defining moments?

[monkey]

Give three defining moments in your life.

They can be as menial or masterful as you see fit. I'd just like to see what has made people the way they are now.

Let's keep the carp to a minimum please.
:)

[Tallguy]

In time order, earliest first: First and only time I flew a small plane alone: the second the wheels left the runway, I thought to myself 'Ah. There is now only one person in this thing that can land it. And it's me.'
Walking to the front of the church to give my dad's eulogy, turning around to see the entire church filled with people, even more standing and queueing to get in at the back. I couldn't actually deliver the eulogy in the end as I totally fell apart.
Saying 'I do'.

[stewie]

In order of time, my RAF pass out parade at the age of 16 , the first time I flew a glider solo and the day we officially adopted our kids and I lost it big time on the steps of the law courts in manchester and turned into a burbling wreck when I tried to thank everyone who had come along to support us over some really tough years, numpty..

[carty]

In time order;

1) My mum and Dad's break up (Age 10)

2) Passing my bike test - a huge achievement and something I'd always wanted to do (Age 23)

3) My wedding day. (Age 26)

[BoltonSte]

Chronologically
1 Meeting my now wife (the big day wasn't as important as being with her in the first place)
2 Moving to America
3 Coming back from America

[BernardBikerchick]

1 loving and being loved back the same
2 swimming with sharks
3 running half marathon for my mum and dad

[Alpinestarhero]

Moving out of home to go to university

Passing my motorcycle test (freeeedom!!!)

Meeting Maria :kiss:

[DanAbnormal]

Ah, good thread TM.

First would have to be my wedding day. Nothing beats that. :kiss:

Second, would have to be getting some artwork published. I stood in WH Smith staring in disbelief that my artowrk was in a magazine. Great feeling.

Third, losing a freind. Made me think about a few things in life and how we tend to take things for granted. Really made me realise what's important.

Dan

[dirtydog]

Hmmmm could probably name more than 3 but here's the ones in my mind at the moment...

1) My dad passing away when I was a boy

2) My daughter being born

3) Getting off the alcohol (ok I still drink now but not > 1litre of spirits a day)

[Drew Carey]

Mine in time order (as I can't be bothered to spell chrono whatcha ma call it)....

1. Meeting my Stepfather for the first time following my parents split when I was 6, he has been the most influence on my life and the best "Dad" I could ever have hoped for.

2. Meeting Lily.....can honestly say that she has made my life what it is today.

3. Passing bike test, cause without it I wouldn't have met so many people from the .org "Family" who are now some of my best freinds.

[G]

1) Winning the british junior canoe slalom championships, and then thinking how easy it had come.....only to then realise how much effort my parents and I had put in over the years and it all being worthwhile.

2) Getting my final year uni results and seeing that I didnt have to resit anything and all the hard work had actually meant I got over 80% in all my final exams, I just wish I had revised for the rest of the years now :rolleyes:.

3) My little nephew dieing making me realise that life is way too short, live it while you can.

[Stig]

Blimey, a good post Darren.

First was meeting my real Dad when I was 15. I remember waiting at the window watching the people walking down the road. Each time I saw a man I decided in my head if he was the one or not. Every one that walked past I wished and wished he would not turn and walk down the path to the front door. Then I saw a man and knew straight away it was him. I was then wishing and wishing he WOULD turn and walk down the path. He did. Will never ever forget that.

Next was joining the Army at 18. I went from serial criminal heading on a one way path to prison and doom, to being the person I am now.

Obviously there is the birth of each of my children. Each one of them gave me the exact same feeling. Horror and dread. I have created this little thing and now I have the task of making sure they do not make the same mistakes as I did and not follow the early path I did. Scared me to death. Still does.

My second marriage. Oh my god why in the hell could I have not met her the first time round? I just could not be without her now. She is everything I am not and wish I was.

The death of my best friend. We were on the same intake joining the army and followed each other throughout our military career. He was closer to me than my own brother. It's been 10 years since he died and I miss him still.

Bosnia. Spent time there as the UN Protection Force and as UN Implementation Force. Seen some damn ugly things. Not cool and put a lot of things into prospective.

Out of all the ones above. It has to be the joining the Army. That is my most defining moment. I reckon that turned my whole life around from that point on. Without that I would not be the man I am now. Ironic then to think I just used the 'I want to join the army' line as an excuse in court to try and get out of a charge of arson. :lol:

[Alpinestarhero]

Its a good thread, but its also quite difficult. I mentioned three things that have been defining moments, but then there have been so many other moments.

Getting my first guitar

first time i rode a motorbike (I was so scared, but once i was doing it it felt natural to me)

cousins death

neice's birth (she;s so sweet, she's nearly walking, needs a little help though but if you hold her hands she takes you where she wants to go lol i love her to bits and would give my life for her)

I know these moments have guided me on the path I'm taking through life now, but there are so many other things that make me who I am

Most life defining moment I guess is being born into a loving family. Can't be defined more than the environment you're born into?

[sv-robo]

Oh maaaaaaan!!!!:-k

To many to mention........can i have 10??

[Stig]

The title is defining moments, not best or most memorable. I wouldn't have thought there were that many defining moments in anyones life. I thought the ones I listed were rather a lot, but each one of them definitely steered the course of the life I was on at the time.

[Flamin_Squirrel]

I have created this little thing and now I have the task of making sure they do not make the same mistakes as I did and not follow the early path I did. Scared me to death. Still does.

If it scares you to death, that probably means you're doing a good job :smt023

My defining moment was probably getting my SV. Made some great friends and rode to some fantastic places.

[Ed]

1. Leaving home aged 21.
2. Death of father
3. Decision that IVF was not for us. It ultimately paved the way to adopting our daughter.

[DanAbnormal]

Yep, my moments were in no real order but meeting Nicky, my wife, was the best thing that ever happened to me. I spent two years working in Ireland, desperate to meet someone special only to move back to the UK and meet Nicki and fall in love within a week. What's ironic is that she is also Irish!

[Paws]

1) passing my bike test, i gained my own freedown and grew up alot from that point onwards.

2) picking myself back up and dusting myself down after the messy split from my ex and then 2 weeks getting knocked off my bike-it all made me more confident, stronger and weirdly happier-mainly as i had to start from scratch again but feel ive done a damn good job (new bike, new job, new life basically)

3) getting together with matt-neither of us were looking for a realationship and it took alot of talking and thinking-glad we did it though.

4) Helping my mum deal with my dad getting (and recovering) from cancer and then supporting my dad when my mum had a stroke this year

[xXBADGERXx]

1. Being knocked off the bike and spending a month in Intensive Care . Was told I wouldn`t walk properly again , set out through a lot of pain to prove them guys wrong , and I DID .
2. Supporting a friend who was abused by her Stepfather , she`s now married with kids and is a Barrister , I used to go to the town where she lived and spot her stepfather and give him a hard time , last time I saw him and half throttled him , he skipped town never to be seen or heard from again .
3. Having a gun pointed in my face and then telling that person "I`m going to rip your arms off" and watching them run away , made me move from London and come back home , was months later when I realised what could have happened and cried about it . I still hunt for that person when I am in the area on visits .
4. Learning to play guitar , getting a record deal and then binning it all as I realised it was all tosh and was much happier playing at home to amuse myself .
5. Becoming xXBADGERXx , it isn`t an alter ego , it`s a way of Life :D

[Grinch]

I can't believe that meeting me was not anyones defining moment, after all I am a defining moment in anyones life.

Let me see...

My most defining moments in my life, regardless of there positivenesses or negativeness that have made me the man I am today are -

Mental breakdown at about 17, after years for physical and mental abuses through school. I know life at school can be hard for some people.

Death of my fiancée at the age of 21 after being together for 3 years, she unfortunately took her own life. Took what must be a good 4 years to get over it all any try to even think about a relationship again.

Meeting and marrying Jax, she bought me out of my single man, slightly odd little shell and help mold me into the very out going odd little hairy man I am now. So we got to keep the odd atleast.

Becoming a father of PJ, it made me a Dad, a real Dad who has feelings he never realised he could, and emotions that he though he no longer had.

[Jabba]

Chronologically:

1. Meeting George Best when I was with my dad at his godmother's house. George said "Hi Allan (my dad's name), and who's this little chap?!"

My dad's godmother was Mary Fullaway, George's landlady :-)

2. Knocking seven different types of poo out of kid at school who was bullying me. Didn't happen again to me or any of my mates :-)

3. Leaving home for Uni.

4. Meeting the young lady who because Mrs V.

5. Falling out with my dad and not speaking to him for more than 5 years. He died before I could put it right. I will regret this for the rest of my life.

6. The birth of my boys, first one because he was the first and second one because I delivered him myself at home in unforeseen circumstances. Amazing and scary at the same time.

7. Getting a motorbike :-)

[kitkat]

surviving abusive relationship

joining WRNS and learning to shoot

having my kids and us all surviving my divorce

realising that money does not buy happiness and deciding to ensure rest of my life involves happiness ;)

[Gene genie]

easy peasy, wedding day, and the births of my 2 children. on each occasion my life changed immensely, bugger.

[Supervox]

Congrats mate - I would rate this as probably the best thread in my time here on The Org. :cool:

Anyway here goes :-

The birth of the twins (Alex & Jordan) - this was the first time I actually thought - "Christ ! Now I've got to be a grown-up !!"

Although I can't nail it down to a moment, one the biggest defining aspects of my life that definitely shaped the way I am today was the way that my parents supported my twists & turns of career choices during my teens & early twenties - no matter what I wanted to do they supported me & helped me as much as they could - I only hope that I can do the same for our boys - a very tough act to follow.

Finally accepting what various people had been telling me & my parents for some time - that I had (have [?]) a temper problem - once I did accept it I was able to start working to control it - if I hadn't God knows where I'd be today.

[Lissa]

Passing the 11+ and winning a scholarship to a private school. It helped me learn very early in life that just because someone has more money than you it doesn't make them better than you.

Losing my brother.

Meeting Pete. He puts both the miles and the smiles into my life.

[Messie]

I was raped when I was 16. Told no-one and was very scared so ended up going through a very late and lonely abortion. Has left a bit of a lasting effect on me

Then having my daughter whilst still a teenager - by choice :D. But then when her equally young father disappeared knowing that this small person's whole future was down to me and me alone. Wonderful and scary and made me very grown up.

Getting myself into University at age 23 after leaving school at 16 and being thrown out of college for not attending (see point 1) and getting my degree. Finally feeling proud of myself

When I got the phone call that my fiancee had killed himself. I've never been kicked in the stomach by a buffalo but I think I knew then what it would feel like. And despite looking and looking I've never found anyone as special as my gorgeous George was.

Then I got back on a bike after 22 years and some of you know the rest :o

[northwind]

Four for me...

Getting my CBT and first bike- sounds soft but it really did change my life- start of a new hobby, start of a new obsession in fact.

Meeting my ex, who even though we're not together any more really did a lot to make me the person I am and to pull my head out of my a**e.

Breaking my hip- another real life changer, taught me a bit of perspective and patience and general acceptance, but also pretty much took a year out of my life and changed things a lot in all sorts of bad ways, knocked me into a bout of depression the likes of which I hope I never see again, cost me a lot. I'd been down before but never so bad. It's, what, 3 years on and I'm still not really "better" in some ways.

And lastly, this one's weird, but watching the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert from Wembley... Watching Metallica open it was incredible, I'd never even listened to music much before that day, but it sewed the seeds and now, music's probably the most important thing in my life after family and friends. I'd choose music before biking, without a second's thought.

[Rhiwbina_Squirrel]

Crackin' thread TM! I've not lived as long as most on here so this is a little harder for me!

1. I think this has to be being born into a family that has given me limitless freedom. I believe this has taught me a great deal of respect and responsibility.
2. My grandfather, and hero, dying when I was 7. I miss him to this day.
3. Being personaly tutored by a member of the pastoral department in my school. She ultimately taught me how to overcome a terrible anger problem and get me back on track in time for my GCSEs.
4. Realising who my friends are.

There's more but as you've said three and I've already taken four, it'd be a bit cheeky to have another!

Alex

[dizzyblonde]

Dylan, the miracle who is my son. After a couple of miscarriages, and him deciding he wanted to appear at 26 weeks, and putting me under a lot of stress, because I could have easily have lost another at that time of pregnancy, he decided to change his mind and come out 8 days after his due date, at 3 in the morning.

Im Indoors, the git who was my best friend,who decided to turn my life upsidedown, he made me choose if I really wanted a life with my ex. He who changed my life, not sure if for the better or worse! I hate him sometimes because he is a mirror of myself, love him because I can't do without him, the sinister humour that compliments my daft humour. He gives me the spontaneous adventure, I bring him down to earth, without each other, we really don't do very well. He'd go off the rails, I'd turn very boring

Bambi......who could forget that!

[Vickster]

No order

1. Realising the people whom I took drugs with are NOT my friends
2 Taking up snowboarding
3 learning to ride a bike
4 realising having a career with no uni education was not a bad thing

oh **** only 3 - not quite the same but hey !!

[Stig]

Give three defining moments in your life.

They can be as menial or masterful as you see fit. I'd just like to see what has made people the way they are now.

Let's keep the carp to a minimum please.
:)

Your turn...

[monkey]

I haven't got a clue Apeth. I've been thinking about it since starting the thread and haven't really got anywhere with it. Maybe I still need to be defined.

[chasey]

In time order:

My Mum dying when I was 12
Meeting my mate Dave when I was 14.
Passing my bike test when I was 20

[K]

Defining moments eh... hmmmmm...

... do I run the risk of revealing too much information and therefore denying my imaginary existence? ;)

So:
There was one when I was a little kid: it turned me into a very scared person, but I'm OK with that.
There was another when I was 18: that made me into a very scarred person, but gave me a new found sense of priority and freedom.
The last happened more gradually over the course of my youth: it revealed a very scary person, but I'm OK with that too. :twisted:

[xXBADGERXx]

Scared , Scarred and Scary , that`s a good signature right there :D

[Lozzo]

At 32 and after having had the most carefree and hedonistic life, waking up one morning with my then newish girlfriend and seeing three gorgeous little faces waiting patiently for someone to make breakfast for them. It suddenly struck me that I was now responsible for the upbringing, physical and moral safety of four children. I'd already got one daughter of my own but not had much of a hand in raising her.

That's when Lozzo discovered something that he enjoys more than anything else in the world - being Dad.

Secondly - kicking out my ex-wife, then losing my 40K a year job and home all within 4 months. It made me realise that life can be cruel, but you can still smile through it all if you hang on to your bike.

Finally - Waking up in Bedford Hospital's ICU with both legs in traction and in immense pain all over, after three weeks in a coma. I'd been resuscitated twice after the crash and spent 11 hours in surgery. That's when I found out I wasn't quite invincible after all

[Demonz]

My wife saying yes when I asked her to marry me - laid the path for our future.
Having kids - the purpose of life and have yet to find anything more motivating or rewarding.
Starting my own business - turning an idea into something special.

[Warthog]

1. Breaking up with the love of my life. Unfortunately a bad defining moment, but it had a huge effect on me. She made me a much better person, showed me life, and I thought we would be together forever. Losing her broke me for a long time. I can totally empathise with Messie and Grinch.

2. Growing up as the son of an ex-pat in Belgium, Hong Kong and Holland. It made me learn different languages, cultures, appreciate great food and drink and gave me a great wide and tolerant perspective on the variety of experiences and people in life.

3. First getting a guitar. It led me to my love of music, playing in bands, meeting fellow metal heads (the nicest people in the world). Music expresses how I feel and I think it is vital for happiness.

[Dangerous Dave]

Joined the Military, aimed to be the best I could be...

Passed Motorcycle Test, what more do I need to say...

Met the other half, she's looking after me well...

[chakraist]

I haven't got a clue Apeth. I've been thinking about it since starting the thread and haven't really got anywhere with it. Maybe I still need to be defined.

I'm the same; I've had lots of major events, moving to uni, etc, but these are all things that were planned. I've grown up a lot but not really through events that I would refer to as major.

This is a brilliant thread though, and I hope you all don't mind me (and others) having an opening into your lives.

Conrad

[chakraist]

I thought of a couple that are okay in no particular order,

Moving out of home and moving to university. This one has been covered a couple of times, but I'll elaborate. I'm an only child, and all my life I have had a silly amount of attention, love and care. Moving out on my own in uni halls and thriving to some degree, eventually, showed me that I am capable of being my own person. It took me a while and I grew up very fast, was a bit of an hussy for a while but soon grew into myself. It was very affirming to know that I can be whatever or whoever I want to be.

Secondly, my ex girlfriend had a kid. We were together a while and I used to get up at 6:30 to sit and watch CBeebies with him. One time, he was lying on my chest and slowly drifted off to sleep, giving a little sigh as he slipped deeper into sleep. He's probably forgotten me now, but giving a little person that security for even a little while made me realise that there's much, much more to life than anything I had previously considered. People remarked at the time how good I was with him, and it was a complete turnaround for anything I'd considered before.

Thirdly; this is a toss-up between passing my bike test and my first proper job. The bike test expanded my views on places and to some degree, people. It has also given me a lot more self confidence and reduced my aggression. I am also able to be much more focussed, able to plan things more in advance and enjoy the moment, something which I very much struggled with doing before then.

My first 'proper' job was working in an advertising agency, doing graphic and web design with a bit of copywriting from when I was 15-18, on and off. I got paid £15 per hour, and that is a LOT of money when you have no outgoings and working anything up to 20 hours a week. So I lived a very good couple of years and also dealt with things like client meetings with people up to three times my age. I think that perhaps the defining moment of that job and maybe that whole year was when, as a 16 year old, I got paid £45 to sit in a pub for three hours, drinking on someone else's money and then going back, throwing a website together in half an hour and the client being perfectly happy. It was at that precise moment, throwing up in the toilet after several (I wasn't the drinker I am now, 4 years ago :P) pints of real ale (was into that at the time) that I realised that maybe I could have a career and earn a lot of money by talking; we basically tricked a man out of 3 hours of studio/copywriting time which was about £350, all told. Plus expenses which included pies from Rooks and lots of beer. It was when I started getting into the white, powdery side of that lifestyle that it hit me that I might actually have to start working for a living, as the advertising world is not the real world.

Sorry about the long post, I had a long think about it.

[Balky001]

1. Becoming a dad

2. Leaving a retail job at 30 and getting a job in asset management

3. Taking up biking at 35. Found what I was looking for, got to meet some cool people and love the track.