View Full Version : In-Laws
Dangerous Dave
08-12-08, 05:07 PM
Does anyone else get the feeling your in-laws look at you and think their son/daughter could have done better?
Father-in-law to be one day is an ex-army officer, and believes there is no greater path to be taken in life. He doesn't believe "real soldiers" work from the sea and the Royal Marines are just the Navy's little police force. Other than winding me up with these little comments he also has little interest in family functions if it is not solely his family.
Yes, definitely. My lady's Dad detests bikes (so we got off to a great start...) and I don't think he really likes me too much.. Same with her sister, who is incredibly bossy and self important, but not actually that good at much. I have great fun winding her up. They both refer to me as "him".
Her mum though is brilliant, and actually understands that we're in it for the long run.
I found the best way to avoid those sort of comments is simply to ignore the people making them. They soon stfu.
My ex-F-I-L was a decent bloke, so is my younger three kids grandad, but my own daughter's grandfather was the dictionary definition of "A c0ck" (didn't help that he was a Detective Inspector and I was a bit of a scrote in my youth)
dizzyblonde
08-12-08, 05:32 PM
yes, i'm sure the in-laws look down their noses at me..strong catholics, father the retired teacher of physics in a private school, mother, the daughter of an ex mayor of Halifax...
gah.. even his god father is a catholic priest!
timwilky
08-12-08, 05:36 PM
Well my mother in law was pushing up daisys and the FIL was an alcoholic living in a salvation army hostel when I married Lynne. He could not make any comments, apart from swearing at the waiter who offered him wine with his lunch on our wedding day
wyrdness
08-12-08, 05:41 PM
I get on really well with Mrs Wyrdness' dad. We go to the pub, gigs etc. together. I think that I'm his role-model as he's started dressing like me. We have to be careful that we don't go out wearing the same t-shirts!
amnesia
08-12-08, 05:43 PM
I am lucky with my soon to be outlaws. They are both great, and my sarcastic sense of humour is not lost on them.
One of the first times I met them, Dave took me to The Sloop (aka the 'office') for 'the chat' to make sure my intentions towards his daughter were honerable.
Well...of course they are...
sv-robo
08-12-08, 05:43 PM
My other halfs father is so miserable he makes Victor Meldrew look like a court jester...could'nt really give a flying f*** what he thinks of me tbh,he probably hates me ,but then again he hates everyone.....it's her mum i feel sorry for.
gf parents are great and I think they really like me
my parents towards the gf though.....lets say they are polite and keep to the formalities :)
My gf parents love me can't blame them though i'm a loveable sort of fella!!!;)
maviczap
08-12-08, 06:36 PM
My FIL is so pernickerty about tidiness he won't come into our garden because its too messy, let alone the house. MOL is not quite so bad, but won't come and baby sit because our house is too messy! But my kids are 3 & 10, I'd rather spend time playing with them, than tidying, cleaning etc, just so the house is always perfect.
FIL only buys Sony TV's, DVD players.
Doesn't help that my wifes brother is THE golden child, can do no wrong, house is always perfect, but he's like his dad.
Get on with FIL & MIL, but I'm seen as a lazy so and so, even though I do the cooking and shopping. MY FIL can't boil an egg.
So I tolerate them
slark01
08-12-08, 07:51 PM
They seriously disliked me at first, because of the way I was dressed ( metal head! ).
However once they got to know me, they were great :-)
Cannot seem to do wrong in my MIL's eyes !
My parents on the other hand are a real pain in the a*se to my wife at times.
My in laws like me... but only come round when I'm not here....
there coming over on Saturday... and I'm going to Manchester for the weekend....
I Love it... ;-)
wyrdness
08-12-08, 08:09 PM
He doesn't believe "real soldiers" work from the sea.
Normandy 1944.
Does he not like paratroopers either, since they work from the air?
He sounds like a bit of a snob. Maybe you should get promoted higher than he was and make him call your 'Sir'!
He sounds like a bit of a snob. Maybe you should get promoted higher than he was and make him call your 'Sir'!
When I was a very young kid I witnessed a family argument between my dad (serving sergeant - Royal Signals), my uncle Tony (serving sergeant - Royal Signals) and my gandad (serving corporal - RAF). Whatever it was about, my dad and uncle Tony disagreed with my grandad about it and the argument was getting quite heated. In the end my dad slammed a fist on the table and yelled "I've had enough, me and Tony outrank you and what we say goes", he got up and walked out. My gandad beng a lifetime military man wouldn't have argued any further with them out of pure respect for rank.
It still tickles me that my dad pulled military rank with his own father in a family matter and won.
454697819
08-12-08, 08:59 PM
I love my inlaws....
each side hasnt spent much time together yet...
When I was a very young kid I witnessed a family argument between my dad (serving sergeant - Royal Signals), my uncle Tony (serving sergeant - Royal Signals) and my gandad (serving corporal - RAF). Whatever it was about, my dad and uncle Tony disagreed with my grandad about it and the argument was getting quite heated. In the end my dad slammed a fist on the table and yelled "I've had enough, me and Tony outrank you and what we say goes", he got up and walked out. My gandad beng a lifetime military man wouldn't have argued any further with them out of pure respect for rank.
It still tickles me that my dad pulled military rank with his own father in a family matter and won.
lol genius
Love my in-laws, they have a great relationship, are both v genuine and dont need to feel like they have to impress people, what you see is what you get with them-treacles mum is a real laugh and loved the fact that i have tattoos as she has a few aswell, i was made to feel part of the family from day one, spending christmas with them this year (first one of hopefully many),nice to have in-laws that are human!
Mine love matt, he can nooo wrong lol, him and my dad have become fishing buddies and will often go fishing once to twice a month and are brill at winding each other up!
Dangerous Dave
08-12-08, 11:21 PM
Maybe you should get promoted higher than he was and make him call your 'Sir'!
I am a CSgt, I work for a living unlike officers!
So I am not alone then, should I even try to compromise with him?
yorkie_chris
08-12-08, 11:24 PM
my intentions towards his daughter were honerable.
Well...of course they are...
:rolleyes:
I am a CSgt, I work for a living unlike officers!
So I am not alone then, should I even try to compromise with him?
Deck him and do the time, it'll be easier and less emotionally straining
Dangerous Dave
08-12-08, 11:45 PM
Deck him and do the time, it'll be easier and less emotionally straining
Not too sure that will go down so well with the miss', plus beating a sixty year old man doesn't do my image much good.
sounds to me Dave, that he is secretly really chuffed...
and isn't the navy/army/air force thing not just millilitre banter.
don't you think if he really thought that you were not right for his daughter (being an ex army officer), that he would have pulled you aside and told you to sling your hook...
i had a mate when i was younger who's dad was an army officer, and it took a looooong time for him to warm to me. i think these type of people dont like letting people 'in'.
Dangerous Dave
08-12-08, 11:50 PM
don't you think if he really thought that you were not right for his daughter (being an ex army officer), that he would have pulled you aside and told you to sling your hook...
True, I know he respects my role and unit but perhaps he feels Becks could find someone a little better and offer a more stable life style.
Looks like I am gonna have to have a chat with him....
dizzyblonde
08-12-08, 11:58 PM
I don't know owt about army heirachy and such, but perhaps his 'little comments' are just that, maybe he likes winding you up, cause you bite?
He perhaps knows you rise to it, and enjoys reeling you in so to speak.
As Bibio says he probably respects you even though he does it
Or maybe I've got it wrong
Dangerous Dave
08-12-08, 11:59 PM
cause you bite?
To be honest it is the only time I don't bite, and it doesn't take much for me to bite.
dizzyblonde
09-12-08, 12:00 AM
To be honest it is the only time I don't bite, and it doesn't take much for me to bite.
ah well, that alone shows you have a real respect for him then. :cool:
maybe he just likes a bit of a debate about something close to his heart
if Becks wanted someone 'better' she would be with someone else, but she is not she is with you... if Becks is happy then her dad is happy...
and from the little threads Becks has posted.. trust me m8 she is welllll happy...
Dangerous Dave
09-12-08, 12:04 AM
ah well, that alone shows you have a real respect for him then. :cool:
maybe he likes a bit of a heated debate
Aye, I respect the guy but the looks I get from the miss' are usually enough for me to know when to stay quiet.
Perhaps I should see how it will turn into a conversation.
dizzyblonde
09-12-08, 12:06 AM
if Becks wanted someone 'better' she would be with someone else, but she is not she is with you... if Becks is happy then her dad is happy...
and from the little threads Becks has posted.. trust me m8 she is welllll happy...
:winner: All dads are like that with their daughters.
yorkie_chris
09-12-08, 12:11 AM
To be honest it is the only time I don't bite, and it doesn't take much for me to bite.
If that's the sort of thing she's into, then nowt wrong with it... but probably not the best thing to be letting the inlaws know eh ;)
missyburd
09-12-08, 01:35 AM
If that's the sort of thing she's into, then nowt wrong with it... but probably not the best thing to be letting the inlaws know eh ;)
oh dear, you really should get back in your box hun :p
My folks are weird, YC's folks lovely, nuff said.
Now then, in-laws...
My in-laws are very religious. MIL is a local preacher.
Google Baphomet....
Need I explain further?
My mum and dad were so happy with my ex-husband. He literally is/was the nicest guy on the planet.
Problem for me was, I could walk all over him.
Problem with me was I wanted someone who'd be my equal. Someone I could respect.
When we got together way back (I was eighteen both our friends were going 'wtf?'. They saw us a chalk and cheese. I was wildfire, he was well... chalk. In the end they were right... I left him at 29.( there's a long history of going out, being engaged, getting married, blah).
But the upshot was, he was perfect for my parents and I'm very sure he's perfect for his current wife. We just weren't 'eternally compatible'.
I guess people just jump for the moment because we're all too aware of our mortality. My last relationship was so bad... My parents didn't like him because he treated me like ****, and worse, I let him treat me, my family... even my cat, like ****. He used to bemoan to me how his ex-wife's parents always hated him.
I see a pattern... and short of the miraculous finding of balance, there's nothing that can help it.
OK, I'll approach this from my role in life as a father to three girls and one son.
I have a 27 year old who has been living with her bloke for 10 years, and I coudn't be happier. I respect my "son-in-law" because he respects my daughter and she gives it back. She's not an easy person to live with because she is headstrong and demanding, but he allows her some of it and clamps down on her when she's out of order. He won't be walked all over but is flexible enough to allow her to retain a level of independence for her own mind's sake. I have the utmost respect for Stu, he's a good bloke who keeps my girl happy and safe and he so obviously loves her dearly.
On the other hand I have a 19 year old whose boyfriend has given me many occasions when I have seriously thought about buying a large bag of lime and a shovel. He doesn't work, and never has done. He left school with no qualifications, just the ability to roll a neat 3-skin joint. At first he was playing around behind her back and she was just letting him get away with it because he'd charm his way back. He'd managed to distance her from all her close friends (especially male ones) one by one leaving her almost totally dependent on him for company and friendship. She did split with him at one point and went out with his mate, who treated her equally as bad and destryoed her car and still owes her a large sum of money - so consequently b/f no.1 now looks like an angel in comparison. But the split was enough to shake b/f no.1 into doing something and he's eased off dramatically. My daughter now has freedom to go out and enjoy herself with new found friends and the ones she lost previously. She went to Uni for 18 months and found new confidence, enough to stand up to him and say what she wants to do, and get it. He's on probation with me. I'm courteous enough without being too nice to him, he knows where he stands and he makes an effort to be decent back. He knows he's on a last chance with me and my little girl.
Youngest daughter is 17 - her bloke and her are so laid back they'd get on with anyone. He's a good bloke, has an apprenticeship and treats my baby girl like a princess, but she doesn't take advantage of that, she gives the same back. There's respect and admiration between them, but I wouldn't call it love just yet. I like him, I didn't at first because he's a bit overweight and not the best looking, but I think my girl has seen past that and found a bloke with a heart rather than one who just looks nicer than others. He's in the good books too.
Of the two who work, I value them equally. One earns mega-bucks as a Project Manager for a blue-chip company, one is an Apprentice Panel-beater earning peanuts, but they both have the same amount of self-respect and respect for my girls. When little girl's b/f finally finds a job and keeps it my view on him may change slightly, we'll see. Eldest has found her ideal man, she's happy and so am I. Little girl has found one who may change, if that makes her happy then I'll be happy. Baby girl is still young and may end up staying with her bloke, I hope she does because he may well turn out to be perfect for her.
On to my son... he's 15 and is a good looking charmer. He can turn anyone around to liking him with just one smile. He uses this to get girls, charm their mothers and fathers and could if he wanted get away with murder. But, he's a decent lad who does treat his girlfriends well - he's repectful and funny, and won't take any crap from them. He doesn't have a g/f at the moment, he's playing the field and loving it...so are the girls he sees. He'll make some girl a good boyfriend one day (just like his dad)
My mother in law is a .................................GERMAN
Father in law ............................................Ex Seargent major
Pls help
My mother in law is a .................................GERMAN
Father in law ............................................Ex Seargent major
Pls help
You're beyond help......NEXT!
You're beyond help......NEXT!
:(
I like him, I didn't at first because he's a bit overweight and not the best looking
Are you ****ing serious?
Gazza77
09-12-08, 09:27 AM
I get on exceptionally well with my other half's parents, which is handy given they have given us so much help with renovating the house. Good job too, as they only live about 5 mins walk away, so I see them regularly!
SoulKiss
09-12-08, 09:52 AM
Mine love matt, he can nooo wrong lol, him and my dad have become fishing buddies and will often go fishing once to twice a month and are brill at winding each other up!
Treacle goes fishing.....
That will be him sliding DOWN the cool wall then :P
SoulKiss
09-12-08, 09:52 AM
Well my MIL is about as far away physically as possible and still be on the planet :)
So we get on well :)
Dappa D
09-12-08, 10:07 AM
Does anyone else get the feeling your in-laws look at you and think their son/daughter could have done better?
Father-in-law to be one day is an ex-army officer, and believes there is no greater path to be taken in life. He doesn't believe "real soldiers" work from the sea and the Royal Marines are just the Navy's little police force...good job you arnt a binman or milk man lol. Other than winding me up with these little comments he also has little interest in family functions if it is not solely his family.
i felt this way a bit with her dad...as she was married when i met her
first time i went to her dads house was a huge picture of her in her wedding dress with her ex husband......felt a bit like it was placed just to wind me up, obviously it wasnt...but to begin with there was defo some remarks that went under my gf's radar that i picked up on
however, since we had a kid/she got pregnant (read i gave him a grandson!) its now like i can do no wrong!! (she was with her ex 13yrs and told she couldnt have kids!)
so normal order is resumed!
at the end of the day, your priority is/you love Becks, his priority is/he loves Becks, thats a good starting point, common ground. personally if it was bearable id just deal with it and try not to bite, but if it got to a point where he was just nasty for the sake of it, i think id have to have words, explain to him that its clear we;ll never get on like a house on fire, but for becks sake lets be friendly, think you could also earn some respect from him that way if it was worded right. (not that you should need to, he should respect his daughters choice etc but hey ho)
missyburd
09-12-08, 10:58 AM
stuff
That was a great read Lozzo, you're obviously a dedicated father, lucky girls (and boy) :-)
My dad has never really been interested in who I'm with, and it's a bit odd that I've gone for someone who actually has a lot in common with him :rolleyes: They do get on which is saying something as me father can be difficult.
Are you ****ing serious?
Yes, I am. My youngest is a proper little blonde beauty and I'd always expected her to find some athletic good looking bloke, a bit like my son. She chose otherwise and it's turned out he's a really good bloke, so I don't have a problem with him. She's happy, therefore I'm happy.
That was a great read Lozzo, you're obviously a dedicated father, lucky girls (and boy) :-)
I have to be a good dad (father to only one, dad to the other three). When I started seeing their mum I had a big decision to make. Three small kids who desperately needed a dad after their own father died, and I was the likely candidate. It struck me that I would have to be the match of the man who went before me, and I'd have to try extra hard to gain respect and love from all around them who cared about them. I tried hard - I may have failed in some aspects, but I gave it my best shot. My kids still love me, I haven't lived with them for a long time, but for 14 years of their life I've been the only man other than their father that they've called Dad. Leaving their mother was easy, leaving them was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. They will always be my kids, and I hope they will always look on me as their dad, even though they now have a wonderful bloke as their new step-dad.
My dad has never really been interested in who I'm with, and it's a bit odd that I've gone for someone who actually has a lot in common with him :rolleyes: They do get on which is saying something as me father can be difficult.
You think your dad is difficult, you haven't met my old man!
timwilky
09-12-08, 11:14 AM
You have to remember dads never give over wanting to protect their little girls no matter how old they are. They do not trust any johnny come lately who starts to sniff round their daughter and they have to prove their intentions are honourable. By that treat the girl right. Respect her and her ideals etc.
I am a lucky dad. I can spot a wrong one. I have had the good fortune to thump one of my youngest daughters idiot boyfriends at 3 O'Clock in the morning when he was stalking her. Yes it came to a head and she walked out to go and live with him. She was right I was wrong. After about the 5th time he beat her up she then asked for my help. the family had been hiding the fact he was hitting her because they knew I would hit him with something harder than my fist this time.
Dave, her dad probably does respect you and may even like you. However, Becks his his little girl and always will be. He needs to put up barriers for you to cross to prove you are the right person for his daughter and not one who is not going to give up at the first hurdle.
Dappa D
09-12-08, 11:14 AM
. She's happy, therefore I'm happy.
:thumright:
athletic good looking bloke, a bit like my son.
How old is your son? ;-)
Scrap that just read the post
Ceri JC
09-12-08, 11:37 AM
I'm lucky, I get on with all of mine. They revere my meagre mechanical/DIY abilities as near-Godlike, very easily impressed by things like fixing garage doors, rehanging doors, simple woodwork, etc. In most respects, I get on great with him, but the FIL doesn't really like me riding bikes (and really doesn't like the other half going on the back). Seemed to think that commuting by bike would inevitably result in my death despite having done it safely for tens of thousands of miles. It'd be easier to take in good humour if he was a half decent driver himself, but he is one of the worst I know and I've cringed as the gf has shouted at him to stop straddling lanes/let a bike past. On more than one occassion I've struggled to resist the temptation to say, "Well if I have a bad accident on the bike, it won't be my doing, it'll be the fault of someone who drives like you."
In most respects though, they are a great lot and good fun at parties and the like. A very lively and chatty yang to my family's more quiet and reflective yin.
Dangerous Dave
09-12-08, 11:46 AM
How old is your son? ;-)
Too young for a military uniform... :p
Dave, her dad probably does respect you and may even like you. However, Becks his his little girl and always will be. He needs to put up barriers for you to cross to prove you are the right person for his daughter and not one who is not going to give up at the first hurdle.
Well it has been a few years for me and Becks now, he has got a little better over time but the sniping is still there every now and again.
Too young for a military uniform... :p
DD you know me to well! :p
Well it has been a few years for me and Becks now, he has got a little better over time but the sniping is still there every now and again.
It will get better. He is stuck in his ways ....no doubt as you will be when you have kids.
My FIL is great...utterly random, but lovely. He only has boys. And his other sons wives are very odd indeed. I think he is really enjoying having a DIL that he gets on with and he can spoil.
MIL is hard to read. Dave is her baby boy and altho i think she likes me, i think she is a little jealous that he spends more time with me than her. It must be hard for any mother to let go, it is understandable, so i let her get away with it :)
In-laws are just a pain in the 'arris when all's said and done. Best option is to marry then move abroad and start again with no-one from either side to get on either of your cases.
Wideboy keeps asking for my daughters contact details
do really look that stupid
yorkie_chris
09-12-08, 05:52 PM
Is she hot? :-P
chris8886
09-12-08, 06:00 PM
Yes, I am. My youngest is a proper little blonde beauty and I'd always expected her to find some athletic good looking bloke, a bit like my son. She chose otherwise and it's turned out he's a really good bloke, so I don't have a problem with him. She's happy, therefore I'm happy.
i'm athletic... might have to work on the good looking bit though. lol ;)
Is she hot? :-P
wouldnt that make be a bit strange if I noticed
wouldnt that make be a bit strange if I noticed
I don't think so. I think my three look stunning when they are all dressed up to go out.
Is she hot? :-P
<-----------just for u chris
<-----------just for u chris
So gid, what's her phone number, and does she want to come pillion on the next NW rideout? :D
fizzwheel
09-12-08, 09:20 PM
I get on really well with Liz's Mum and Dad, we've been on holiday with them a few times now and we quite frequently go and stay the weekend with them. They're really easy to get on with and they made me feel like part of the family since the first day I met them.
I think my mum and dad are quite pleased I've found somebody who will put up with me :D:oops:
yorkie_chris
10-12-08, 01:09 AM
<-----------just for u chris
Lol, would you take it as a compliment if I said she looks nothing like you?
Er... well done lol.
Dappa D
10-12-08, 08:57 AM
Gid, hope this is taken as what it is.....
she is well fit!!! lol
I am so not putting photos of my girls on here for you lot to perv at. Those who need to know can ask to see the photos I carry in my wallet when we meet up.
arenalife
10-12-08, 12:02 PM
I believe there s a t shirt available that says 'Your little princess is my little (insert smut)'. Bound to smooth things over.
Dappa D
10-12-08, 12:10 PM
I believe there s a t shirt available that says 'Your little princess is my little (insert smut)'. Bound to smooth things over.
i have this:cool:...also one that says "it aint gonna suck itself" and a few others that i couldnt get aay with writinG on here...never wore them in front of her dad tho lol, well not wore them for a few years only really wore them when working in ayia napa
i have this:cool:...also one that says "it aint gonna suck itself" and a few others that i couldnt get aay with writinG on here...never wore them in front of her dad tho lol, well not wore them for a few years only really wore them when working in ayia napa
My eldest and I were out for a ride to Stratford Upon Avon one day, when we got there she took her leather jacket off to reveal a T-shirt similar to this one. I had to walk around and sit in the pub with her all afternoon. She's a busty girl so it did attract some attention.
NSFW, so don't open the link at work or in front of those who can easily be offended.
http://www.t-shirtmojo.com/p-Chicks_-_stop_looking_at_my_TITS!-5599.html
Dangerous Dave
10-12-08, 02:31 PM
We're going over to the in-laws on Thursday, see how it goes...
Take some ordnance with you, just in case.
chris8886
10-12-08, 07:06 PM
I am so not putting photos of my girls on here for you lot to perv at. Those who need to know can ask to see the photos I carry in my wallet when we meet up.
you coming to the soho christmas bash lozzo? ;)
My father inlaw doesn't seem to like anybody, or thats how he comes across. He's never said that he likes me, but he hasn't said that he doesn't. I think if he didn't then I would certainly know about it as he doesn't beat around the bush.
I would like to think that being an army officer that he would have the b******s to of told you if he didn't approve.
Dangerous Dave
11-12-08, 12:47 PM
Take some ordnance with you, just in case.
Got me Sig...
http://forums.sv650.org/attachment.php?attachmentid=2851&d=1228726912
you coming to the soho christmas bash lozzo? ;)
I doubt I will tbh. sorry. It's up to Jaime to lower the tone for you now.
It's up to Jaime to lower the tone for you now.
But you do it so well lozzo ;)
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