View Full Version : Tour of the undertakers today
So many people get really freaked out about death but I think that the best person to plan your funeral is you. So, we are liaising with a local funeral director - the idea is to get people thinking about funerals when they come in to give instructions for a will. I've had a very pleasant afternoon touring an undertaker's establishment. There were no bodies on display!!! I honestly feel far better informed now, for example I've seen a Muslim coffin and how it differs from a traditional 'Christian' one. I've decided that I'm opting for a banana leaf one, that's biodegradable and no I don't want to be embalmed unless it's necessary.
It was so interesting seeing what they do, and how:D
A thankless job they do but, a fantastic one.
In the sad times I have had to deal with them they have always been caring, considerate and supportive.
You went to see what funeral you want? You're not that old are you?!
I can't imagine having any job in an undertakers, i wouldn't be able to deal with all the grieving families and i'd find it so depressing.
Whats the muslim coffin like?
Gene genie
24-02-09, 04:08 PM
were you that desperate today?
the only thing i want at my funeral are my bike boots on the coffin backwards, a long line of motorbikes in tow and 'highway to hell' playing in church.
M - no I'm not that old!! 48 to be precise. The Muslim coffin is a straight sided box, no wide shoulders. The wide shoulders actuually represents the shape of the Christian cross, it is not there to accommodate hefty people. Plus, the Muslim version has a viewing flap - you lift it up and look at the deceased through a glass panel in the top of the coffin lid.
GG - but what sort of coffin do you want? Elm? Oak? Sea grass? On music, the bloke was telling me about a cremation where the family had 'Return to Sender' as the coffin went behind the curtains.
SoulKiss
24-02-09, 04:22 PM
M - no I'm not that old!! 48 to be precise. The Muslim coffin is a straight sided box, no wide shoulders. The wide shoulders actuually represents the shape of the Christian cross, it is not there to accommodate hefty people. Plus, the Muslim version has a viewing flap - you lift it up and look at the deceased through a glass panel in the top of the coffin lid.
So not made of Semtex with inbuilt radio-detonators then. ?????
The Sun Readers will be so disappointed.
I don't like the idea of seeing a dead relative, i can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to view an open coffin funeral. Imagine being a coroner though! They must be mad...
I would rather be cremated.
I don't like the idea of my body rotting 6 feet underground. Graves also take up a lot of space and the world is already overcrowding. A little tree in a memorial garden is all i would want, but to be honest i havn't given the idea much thought since im only 17.
SoulKiss
24-02-09, 04:29 PM
I havn't given the idea much thought since im only 17.
Can happen to anyone at any age.
I'm going for the free option - Medical Science can have me - I can keep the next generation of Medical Students amused :)
Can happen to anyone at any age.
I have actually considered writing a will now that i have a motorbike...(i would consider the same if i had a car) But that would just scare the **** out of my parents.
I'm going for the free option - Medical Science can have me - I can keep the next generation of Medical Students amused :)
They will make discoveries previously unknown to medical science nesting in your beard;)
SoulKiss
24-02-09, 04:32 PM
They will make discoveries previously unknown to medical science nesting in your beard;)
More Botanical than Medical Ed :)
Biker Biggles
24-02-09, 05:22 PM
[quote=
Whats the muslim coffin like?[/quote]
Were they aving a rag ED?;)
Sorry taxi coming
maviczap
24-02-09, 05:34 PM
M - no I'm not that old!! 48 to be precise. The Muslim coffin is a straight sided box, no wide shoulders. The wide shoulders actuually represents the shape of the Christian cross, it is not there to accommodate hefty people. Plus, the Muslim version has a viewing flap - you lift it up and look at the deceased through a glass panel in the top of the coffin lid.
GG - but what sort of coffin do you want? Elm? Oak? Sea grass? On music, the bloke was telling me about a cremation where the family had 'Return to Sender' as the coffin went behind the curtains.
H'mm 48, today 2 funerals were held of 2 of my colleagues. One was only just older than me, so he'd be about 48 or 49. The other was about the same. Sadly one died of complications related to cancer he had, the other commited suicide, which was even worse.
Sorry to derail your thread on such a glum subject, but it's never too early to be planning you send off.
I did think about having my ashes scattered at sea, but having performed in a ceremony, it places a lot of stress on the crew that has to do the duty.
I've told my wife I want my ashes to be stuffed into a firework and then my children can light the blue touch paper, so I go off with a bang :razz:
No church ceremony either, one of these agnostic services where I can have the music I want played.:rolleyes:
timwilky
24-02-09, 06:01 PM
I told the wife what I want, cardboard box, burn me and then dig a hole somewhere scatter me in it and plant an oak on top.
My father, he had an oak coffin cost a fortune all because his missus said he was not going in a plywood box. He though got what he wanted, a laurel on top of him
Supervox
24-02-09, 06:16 PM
I don't like the idea of seeing a dead relative, i can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to view an open coffin funeral. Imagine being a coroner though! They must be mad...
I would rather be cremated.
I don't like the idea of my body rotting 6 feet underground. Graves also take up a lot of space and the world is already overcrowding. A little tree in a memorial garden is all i would want, but to be honest i havn't given the idea much thought since im only 17.
I have to say that being able to say 'goodbye' to both my mum & dad (whilst at the funeral home) was a good thing - not quite the right words I know - but I'm sure you'll understand what I mean.
My mum died at home from cancer so it was a good thing to see her again lying peacefully free from pain.
My father died in his car from a heart attack (no other vehicle involved) so I hadn't time to say goodbye.
If anyone thinks this is a morbid subject then I apologise - but death is the 1 thing in life that you can't opt out of - so we might as well face it head on.
For me, like Ed I don't want to be embalmed unless neccessary; I want a basic non-denominational service with 'Affirmation' by Savage Garden played as the hymn, & 'Freebird' by Lynrd Skynrd as my coffin disappears - then I wish to be cremated & my ashes scattered at the place where I learned to sail.
Not fussy me, eh ? :D
maviczap
24-02-09, 06:24 PM
I have to say that being able to say 'goodbye' to both my mum & dad (whilst at the funeral home) was a good thing - not quite the right words I know - but I'm sure you'll understand what I mean.
My mum died at home from cancer so it was a good thing to see her again lying peacefully free from pain.
My father died in his car from a heart attack (no other vehicle involved) so I hadn't time to say goodbye.
If anyone thinks this is a morbid subject then I apologise - but death is the 1 thing in life that you can't opt out of - so we might as well face it head on.
For me, like Ed I don't want to be embalmed unless neccessary; I want a basic non-denominational service with 'Affirmation' by Savage Garden played as the hymn, & 'Freebird' by Lynrd Skynrd as my coffin disappears - then I wish to be cremated & my ashes scattered at the place where I learned to sail.
Not fussy me, eh ? :D
+1 although which version of 'Freebird' as you could be waiting a longtime for you coffin to disapear!
If I was going to select a long track it would be either Jungleland or Lost in the flood - Bruce Springsteen or Neil Young's - like a hurricane
For my send off by rocket I'd choose Born to run or Promised Land by Springsteen
VOx - I have now written my wishes down as well, and I've told Mrs what I want, cos so many people won't open a will until after a funeral, so it's too late. And by leaving instructions you ease the burden of those having to sort things out cos they know that they are doing what you wanted.
maviczap
24-02-09, 06:26 PM
Its a good idea, because you never know when your time will be up.
timwilky
24-02-09, 06:29 PM
I have told the missus though she has no choice, she is being buried, after all I need somewhere to dance.
why do I have Carrie type nightmares
maviczap
24-02-09, 06:30 PM
Plus I want my send off to be a happy affair. So best to write down what you want.
If I went tomorrow, I'd have had a rich and furfilled life to date, so my send off sholud be a celebration of my life, not an unhappy event
yorkie_chris
24-02-09, 06:32 PM
Bury me in a bin liner and put the money saved behind the bar.
timwilky
24-02-09, 06:45 PM
Bury me in a bin liner and put the money saved behind the bar.
sod that, I am going to drink myself to death, why waste yer brass on others.
Actually I had a mate, gone a few years ago who at the age of 45 found out he had a terminal brain tumour, so he had quite few sessions trying to kill the little grey cells. Went for a long weekend in Amsterdam to smoke/shag himself stupid. Came back, went to the pub, had a few whilst the ambulance came to take him to the hospice.
3 days later his favourite barmaid got a house and we had a hell of a session as he had left 2 grand behind the bar
Humanist funeral for me - take me to it in the Hayabusa hearse, cardboard coffin, cremation, followed by a celebration of my life down whatever pub takes the organiser's fancy. If my overly religious, bike hating and teetotal family don't like my plans for my own funeral then f*ck them, I won't miss them being there cos I'll be dead.
I have told the missus though she has no choice, she is being buried, after all I need somewhere to dance.
........thought you were going to say you needed somewhere to park your bike ..............
All I've said is no black at my funeral, bright colours only please, exceptions are for those who have biked and are in leathers, but bright tee-shirts underneath!
All I've said is no black at my funeral, bright colours only please, exceptions are for those who have biked and are in leathers, but bright tee-shirts underneath!
I don't care what they wear, I won't be looking.
I don't want to be embalmed unless it's necessary.
What would make embalming necessary?
Well done you, this subject has been taboo for far too long, it's time we brits learned to be open about it. My parents have never spoken about it, so we have no idea what they would like/dislike, they both have advanced demensure (sp?) now, so too late to discuss it.
What would make embalming necessary?
A number of things (so I was told). Typically to stop decomposition - so if there was going to be a lengthy gap between the death and the funeral, eg because rellies from overseas were coming. Or, to restore colour for viewing - people who have had a jaundice style illness go a not very pleasant colour, so I'm told - there are coloured fluids available. And some illnesses (eg agressive cancers) can cause the body to look awful, and the treatments also can have a similar effect (again, so I'm told) so embalming can stop this happening. And if the deceased had an infectious illness, it would stop other people becoming infected as it kills the bugs so stopping decomp (and the spread of the disease).
Interesting subject.
Sadly I had to bury my dad 6 months ago. Having never had to deal with anything like this before (not just the dead dad bit but also the paperwork and organising and inquests) the guys at the funeral home were amazing. Very respectfull, caring and so so helpfull. I have so much respect for what they do. They make a very unpleasent experience into a doable one.
My dad didnt leave any requests or will or anything. Not sure if that was better or worse but the way i see it is the a funeral is for the people they leave behind. For us to remember them and who they were. We had no religion, as my dad was very much anti, and we had music that ment stuff to him and us- reminded us of stuff we'd done together and places we have been. We had pictures of dad throughout his life playin on a slideshow against one wall (including one nightout where he decided to dress up in stockings and suspenders lol :rolleyes: meh made him laugh!- well clearly not at the funeral :rolleyes: ) It was emotional but in a very strange way enjoyable. Was good to sit and remember stuff.
I think he would have thought it was good, and i reckon i'd like mine to be along the same sort of lines. To be about the people i care about's relationship with me .....not about my relationship with god (:rolleyes:)
Meh thats my pennys worth anyhooo :D
wow that killed the conversation
for lack of a better phrase
yorkie_chris
26-02-09, 10:36 PM
wow that killed the conversation
Coat?
http://www.lifecelebrationfunerals.co.uk/
This guy has seen off 2 of my mates, about as good as funerals get lol. I'd even consider him for mine now he has sold the BMW 8-)
Coat?
Well i thought I'd try an lighten the mood, since i got all emotional :rolleyes:
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