Blackadder

[anna]

so what is your fav quote from Blackadder....

(please please if you are too young to remember this then shhhhhhhh leave me with the illusion that I am not infact getting old!)

mine is:-

Blackadder: Baldrick, I have a very, very, very cunning plan.
Baldrick: Is it as cunning as a fox what used to be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University, but has moved on, and is now working for the UN at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning?
Blackadder: Yes, it is.
Baldrick: Mm... That's cunning!

[Viney]

To many to list

Blackadders christmas carol

Baldrick, its not the size its where you stick it!
or
Lord Flash heart 'Hello bridesmaid, like the beard, gives me something to hang on too'

[keithd]

oh my goodness!! faaaar too many classic quotes!

Flashheart : "Always treat your kite like you treat your woman,"

Captain George "How do you mean, sir? You mean take her home on the weekends to meet your mother?"

Flash "No, I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back."

[johnnyrod]

Either (and by no means do I suspect these to be word-perfect):

(In repsonse some poor gag)
Strewth as fortuitous I wore my corset lest my sides be rent asunder by mirth

or

The path of my life is forever strewn with cowpats from the devil's own satanic herd

[ophic]

Cold? Cold is just God's way of telling us to burn more Catholics!

[RingDing]

Too many! For inspiration I went here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/blackadder/quotes/index.shtml

Found this....
<Nursie>
If you weren't quite so big, it would be time for Mr and Mrs Spank to pay a short sharp trip to Bottieland.

That was my favourite series I think but can't possibly pick a favourite quote. Miranda Richardson was brill as Queenie and the characters all worked brilliantly.

Thanks Anna, this thread has made my day!

[hovis]

im not a bigblackadder fan, but this is it.....

Blackadder: Baldrick, I have a very, very, very cunning plan.
Baldrick: Is it as cunning as a fox what used to be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University, but has moved on, and is now working for the UN at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning?
!

[cuffy]

Edmund: This THE Jane Herrington
Percy: Yes
Edmund: Jane - bury me in a Y shaped coffin - Herington.

[El Saxo]

"I know you mean to be friendly, but I hope you won't take it amiss if I ask you to sod off and die."

[Swin]

Baste my steaming puddings :)

[jambo]

The troops are about to go over the top, or, as Blackadder more accurately puts it, "Field Marshal Haig (http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/war/wwone/lions_donkeys_02.shtml) is about to make yet another gargantuan effort to move his drinks cabinet six inches close to Berlin."

[stewie]

Flasheart; she,s got a tongue like an electric eel and she like s the taste of a mans tonsil,s

[stewie]

Blackadder: I've no desire to hang around with a bunch of upper-class delinquents, do twenty minutes' work and then spend the rest of the day loafing about in Paris drinking gallons of champagne and having dozens of moist, pink, highly experienced French peasant girls galloping up and down my - hang on...

[stewie]

Flashheart: If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

[rictus01]

"Believe me,Baldric, an eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish minions will be as nothing compared to five minutes alone with me...and this pencil."

[Warthog]

Blackadder is THE best British comedy ever made!

"You have a woman's hand!!"

"I shall return, interfrastically"

too many to mention hahaha

[metalangel]

Flashart: I heard you couldn't be bothered trying to rescue old Slacky here!
Darling: W-w-well we weighed up the pros and cons and decided it wasn't a reasonable use of our time and resources.
Flashart: Well! This isn't a reasonable use of my time and resources but I'm going to do it anyway!
Darling: What?
Flashart: This!
*headbutts*

[cuffy]

Blackadder (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000100/): Right Baldrick, let's try again shall we? This is called adding. If I have two beans, and then I add two more beans, what do I have?
Baldrick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0733153/): Some beans.
Blackadder (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000100/): Yes... and no. Let's try again shall we? I have two beans, then I add two more beans. What does that make?
Baldrick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0733153/): A very small casserole.
Blackadder (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000100/): Baldrick, the ape creatures of the Indus have mastered this. Now try again. One, two, three, four. So how many are there?
Baldrick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0733153/): Three.
Blackadder (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000100/): What?
Baldrick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0733153/): ...and that one.
Blackadder (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000100/): Three and that one. So if I add that one to the three what will I have?
Baldrick (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0733153/): Oh. Some beans.
Blackadder (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000100/): Yes. To you Baldrick, the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it?

[Gazza77]

"I only smoke after sex..... back home I'm a 20 a day man" :cool:

[cb5_keith]

Flasheart; she,s got a tongue like an electric eel and she like s the taste of a mans tonsil,s

WOOF! Nursey! I like it firm and fruity!

[missyburd]

Oooooh far too many to choose from but this is my absolute fave:

Baldrick: "So you're asking where the big papery thing tied up with string belonging to the batey fellow in the black coat is..."
Blackadder: "Yes Baldrick, I am. And if you don't answer then the booted bony thing with 5 toes on the end of my leg will soon connect sharply with the soft dangly collection of objects in your trousers!" And second fave:
Blackadder: Hah! Got him with my subtle plan....
Baldrick: I can't see any subtle plan
Blackadder: Baldrick, you wouldn't see a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing ''subtle plans are here again".And of course Lord Flasheart's wwwwOOOOOOOF! :mrgreen: Miranda Richardson was brill as Queenie and the characters all worked brilliantly.

+1, Queenie's fab :-D

[Gene genie]

blackadder. baldrick, what are you doing with that bullet?
baldrick. i'm scratching my name on it.
blackadder. why?
baldrick. well, you know people say somewhere theres a bullet with my name on it. blackadder. yes
badrick. well i reckon if i've got that bullet in my pocket it'll never shoot me.

[Bear]

Lady Whiteadder: "Great booze up? Edmund, explain yourself!"
Edmund: (Pauses a moment as his brain ticks over...) "I've recently returned from a trip to the Americas, where I met a great Chieftan. His name is Great Boo... He's been suffering from sleeping sickness... but as you can hear he's now recovered... hence "Great Boo's Up"..."

From the same episode: Queeny: "I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a CONCRETE ELEPHANT!"

[markryker]

"You wouldn't recognize a cunning plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing 'Cunning plans are here again!'" :D

[missyburd]

"You wouldn't recognize a cunning plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing 'Cunning plans are here again!'" :D
hitler bike :p

[metalangel]

HAG: Before ye meet the wise woman, there are two things ye must know about her. One, she is a woman; and two...
BLACKADDER: She is wise?
HAG: Oh, you've met her?
BLACKADDER: No, just a wild stab in the dark, which is coincidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being more helpful.

[Mel]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSbjppgGjIE

I like the war poems one :)

[redshift]

Where's the captain?
I think he's up the old sea-dog.
Wheres the old sea-dog?
In bed with the captain

[Woz]

Wibble

[haggis]

Great thread. Must dig out the boxset dvds again.

I think the best is "electric eel" but what about...

Percy: "Oh, yes, I touched her once."
Edmund: "You touched her where?"
Percy: "In the corridor."
Edmund: "I've never heard it called that before." :smt044

[Sid Squid]

Not word perfect I'm sure, but after Queenie has an idea she thinks is very good:

Nursey: "You best be careful Ma'am, if you have too many good ideas your foot might fall off."

Queenie, puzzled: "Does that really happen if you have too many good ideas?"

Nursey: "Well, it happened to my brother, he had the good idea of cutting his toenails with a scythe, and his foot fell off".

[urbane1]

B: Not to worry my lord, the arrow didn't in fact enter my body.
E: Oh good.
E: No, by a thousand to one chance my willy got in the way.
E: Extraordinary.
B: And I only just put it there. But now, I will leave it there
forever.
E: That so Baldrick? It can be your lucky willy.
B: Yes, my lord. Years from now I'll show it to my grandchildren.
E: No Baldrick, I think that grandchildren may now be out of the
question.

[keith_d]

A turnip all of my own....