View Full Version : Negative or Positive ?
fizzwheel
27-04-09, 02:38 PM
Are you a negative or a positive person ?
I'm finding myself surrounded by negative people at the moment and I am finding its draggin my own mood down. One particular work colleague I could quite happily throttle at the moment and his negativity or bad vibes has made me find myself withdrawing the amount of contact I have with this person. He's really getting on my nerves, he was going camping with his family this weekend and before he went out the door on Thursday somebody wished him a good weekend and all he did was moan about it and listed off all the stuff he thought was gonig to go wrong...
When stuff goes wrong do you moan about it, or do you look for the positives in a given situation.
Does being negative towards life mean that because you've looked for the worst in a situation that you'll inevitably find the worst and what you are planning on doing or are doing will then go FUBAR.
Alpinestarhero
27-04-09, 02:41 PM
I'm negative about myself, but I am positive about everything else in the world. I assume everyone to be alright until I see otherwise (this might be right away, or in a few years time...). I find something to make me happy each day (full throttle through the brief tunnels on my way home!!!!) and I talk to everyone with a smile and try and make jokes. This morning I noticed a bus bent the offside mirror of a van forward, so I pulled along side, and straightend the mirror for the driver.
The world gets me down sometimes though. Sometimes I feel that very few people around arn't polite or helpfull, or too obsessed with themselves to notice others.
I'm glad I have maria, my good friends and the people of the .org
are you being positive or negative about the people around you at the moment?
kwak zzr
27-04-09, 02:42 PM
i am 90% negative.
Spiderman
27-04-09, 02:43 PM
Tricky. people have said i'm negative before now but its only cos i look at the whole picture sometimes and not just the nice bits thru rose tinted glasses.
however i'd say i have a fairly positive outlook most of the time.
Sometimes seeing the negatives can prepare you for them btu i guess you're right that sometime all you're doing is creating your own destiny and filling it with negative vibes.
thankfully ive not had that in the workplace and i know its so easy to say "ignore him" so i'm not gonna say that.
Edit: I agree with A* too, i do try to say some nice words or do nice deeds for total stragners daily cos it makes me happy and hopefull gives the the incentive to do the same sone day.
Reently jumped off the bike to help a guy push his broken down car out the road. Guy was all by himself, cars behind beeping and being generally rude to him and pedestrians just walking by.
He was so suprised by me he didn't know what to say apart from "i'd never have expected a biker to help push"
I'm pretty positive...I know I'll be rich, find a decent lass, and the bike will be de-restricted sooner or later! :)
Nothing to be particularly negative about really - I'm watered, fed, warm and rested...everything an animal needs!
Im usually 100% positive, but have been very -tive of late
Hurting people give off hurt. Sounds like this guy in your work is depressed and/or stressed.
Try to protect yourself from his negativity. Smile more...... go out on your sv!!!;)
fizzwheel
27-04-09, 02:51 PM
are you being positive or negative about the people around you at the moment?
I'm trying to be postive and encouraging towards him and I always try to give a positive answer to any question or situation he asks me about... I'm finding it leaves me feeling drained and TBH at the moment I'm doing my best to ignore him.
Its been going on for ages, he always finds something to moan about, he just seems like he's never happy, but perhaps its because he's not...
454697819
27-04-09, 02:51 PM
Im mixed...
I can moan a lot but i get on with it and put up.
other times people question why and how after so much I am not in an institute.
I can be summed up by Garbage's lyrics
:smt034
Im only happy when it rains
Im only happy when its complicated
And though I know you cant appreciate it
Im only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
Why it feels so good to feel so sad
I'm only happy when it rains
;)
plowsie
27-04-09, 02:59 PM
Negative, always trying to make things positive and never get anywhere. Seem to fark myself over though to make things negative.
I can be summed up by Garbage's lyrics
:smt034
Im only happy when it rains
Im only happy when its complicated
And though I know you cant appreciate it
Im only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
Why it feels so good to feel so sad
I'm only happy when it rains
;)
your right that is you
Wideboy
27-04-09, 03:06 PM
like to be positive not dwell on what could of happened ect, hate when people around me are upset, usually beat myself up when things do go wrong
Are you a negative or a positive person ?
I've been on a high now for quite some time - circa October 2007 when I realised that the biggest cause of grief in my life was the workplace. It wasn't necessarily the type of job but the boss's attitude. I made a clean break. And since then I've been doing pretty freaking good.
It put everything into perspective - maker of my own destiny etc
If I'd still been in that job, I'd be moaning about it, I would be dreading the Monday mornings & I would have little self confidence/esteem.
You're the only one that has the ultimate say in your life. You're the only one that can fix it. So your state of mind is entirely in your own hands.
Iīm generally a positive person, I can make the most out of a lot of situations. Other people who surround you though do have a direct influence on how your state of mind is. It can be very difficult to stay positive if others around you arenīt.
I dont know what the solution is to your current dilema Fizz, perhaps take a break yourself to put things back in align with your own thinking. The other person clearly has no idea that his own attitude is bringing others around him down, and is most likely why he is having such a rubbish time of things.
I wouldn't consider myself negative but others might. Some perceive that going into a situation fore-armed with all the information you can possibly get, is negative. Likewise, people who continuously attempt the impossible can be considered positive.
I don't whinge and moan though.
your right that is you
Thanks. :D lol
Seriously tho, I can vary from happy to downbeat like any other person.
I try not to bring people down with my own little irrelevant problems I may get, and always try help others feel more positive.
Sometimes a good whinge can make you feel better, doesn't even matter if the other person isn't even paying attention.
Does being negative towards life mean that because you've looked for the worst in a situation that you'll inevitably find the worst and what you are planning on doing or are doing will then go FUBAR.
That's known as the Self Fulfilling Prophecy.
i do try to say some nice words or do nice deeds for total stragners daily cos it makes me happy and hopefull gives the the incentive to do the same sone day.
I'm the same, though I don't make as much effort as I should daily. Random Act of Kindness. It's amazing how much better it makes you feel when you've made a complete stranger smile, for no other reason than wanting to see a smile. :)
Other people who surround you though do have a direct influence on how your state of mind is. It can be very difficult to stay positive if others around you arenīt.
+1,000,000.
That was my main problem, being surrounded by negativity, and I saw it dragging me down. Unfortunately it's a slippery slope that's easy to slide down quickly, but takes a hell of a lot of effort/time to pull yourself back up from.
I'd say I'm still more on the negative side of things, but things are definitely a lot better than they have been in the past (specifically, when I posted the "gym membership" thread that some may remember). :)
DarrenSV650S
27-04-09, 04:02 PM
I used to be positive when I was younger, but I've just got more negative as life has progressed. If I tried to look at everything with a positive attitude I would be kidding myself because really, everything is cr@p.
Mostly positive although I get down at times. Can generally drag myself up when I need to. Big believer in karma though. What goes around comes around. A good deed done always brings good karma your way.
Mostly positive although I get down at times. Can generally drag myself up when I need to. Big believer in karma though. What goes around comes around. A good deed done always brings good karma your way.
+1:cool:
I have mood swings, positive and negative.
Life is generally pretty good for most though on the grand scheme of things, you dont have to travel far to see lots of people much worse off than yourself.
Jamiebridges123
27-04-09, 06:58 PM
Hmm I try to be a positive person. Sometimes we're all a bit down but generally I look on the sunny side..
But yes, depressing people surrounding you are just.. well.. err.. depressing. For example, I still live with my Mum (Hey I'm 17, what can you do?) and she's resorted to writing incredibly "emo" poems and sticking them on the Fridge door. I have to look at them every time I go in the fridge, and especially at 7.45am when I'm leaving for work, it's not what I need. Then again, she's a depressing person.
Ask her to remove them and she says it's not depressing, blah blah. When it blatantly is.
Biker Biggles
27-04-09, 06:58 PM
Im so cynical I voted Keithd
Bluewolf
27-04-09, 08:22 PM
I was going to reply but thought "Oh, what's the point..? No-one cares..."
;) :lol:
I was going to reply but thought "Oh, what's the point..? No-one cares..."
But you replied anyway. So you must be a positive person :p
Bluewolf
27-04-09, 08:27 PM
True, pretty positive I'm a person... or at least, a very close approximation:viking:
Specialone
27-04-09, 09:01 PM
Mostly positive although I get down at times. Can generally drag myself up when I need to. Big believer in karma though. What goes around comes around. A good deed done always brings good karma your way.
Im a firm believer in Karma as scoobs says, but one thing i have noticed as i get older, positiveness is infectious.
If your around people that are positive it rubs off.
With my job, (self employed builder) a lot of things pxxs me off but i try to take them in my stride as getting all angry just makes it worse.
Roll with the punches as they say, it works for me anyway.
Another point, whenever possible, treat people the same way you want to or expect to be treated, stick to that you wont go far wrong.
One thing i have been guilty of though is probably being too nice for my own good on some occasions.
Quiff Wichard
27-04-09, 09:13 PM
I am very negative- it is a trait I try to hide..
but the lads at work always used to say (like you said in your first page Fizz) that after 7 hour sin a van I dragged their mood down..
which is surprising eh as most folk think I am a laugh..
but yea generally negative.
my glass is half empty
Milky Bar Kid
27-04-09, 09:19 PM
I'm very negative at the moment but like Dawn said earlier - hurting people give off hurt so there's my problem!
keith_d
27-04-09, 09:20 PM
At work I've been wearing my cynical head quite a lot, but that's mostly because the company has been dicking us about.
Latest example - we need broadband to work when we're on standby. Until last month the company covered the full cost, this month they're only paying 60%. No explanation, no warning just a few quid less in the pay packet. Grrrr....
On the other hand, I rode the SV lots last week and had a great weekend including saturday night at a CAMRA beer festival and a nice ride back along A4 through Marlborough. So mostly positive!
Keith.
PS. I felt I had to vote KeithD :)
ethariel
27-04-09, 09:35 PM
I'm a pessamist - if things go right i'm plesantly surprised.
I don't know how optimists can do it, disapointed eevry day :(
fizzwheel
27-04-09, 09:39 PM
Sometimes a good whinge can make you feel better,
True, but what he is doing isnt whinging. You miss my point.
He bought a new pushbike, but didnt research what he was buying. He paid to much money for the bike, which he moaned about, he then went looking for things that are wrong on the bike, which meant he replaced alot of components that he didnt need to.
I listened over the course of a week whilst he worried and fretted about the bearings in his wheels as he got it into his head that the rumbling. So he bought new wheels, he asked me what I thought and said that if it was me I'd save up a bit more money and not buy like for like as he probably wouldnt be able to tell any difference, he then didnt listen and replaced his wheels with like for like and then moaned that he couldnt feel any difference and then bought a third set of wheels which were a proper upgrade and then spent ages bigging up the new wheels he'd bought.
He is now talking about buying a new bike. But he isnt talking about buying a better spec bike than he has now. He's seen a nice Bianchi that is a tasty looking piece of kit, but he wont buy it, because "he cant justify it" so he is on about buying the same Sora equiped Giant that he has now, just so he can have a new bike. the logic of which espcapes me as
Theres nothing wrong with the bike he's got now
He'll then spank cash on it ugprading it all again to get rid of the Sora components.
He'll then complain that it doesnt feel any different to ride.
He'll spend 6 months going on and on about it. He'll ask my opinion several times which he'll then ignore because it isnt what he wants to hear, which makes me wander if he thinks I'm an idiot or that he thinks he knows better.
He's the same with his seating position his been fiddling and fiddling with it, his latest game is trying to make his road bike feel more like his mountain bike to ride because he cant get on with his road bike. This process has seen him on his fourth saddle, I should add these are all cheap as he never actually learns from his mistakes.
In the past three years he's bought three bikes now. Spent god knows how much on components and ugprades. Where I'm still on the bike I bought in 2007 albeit with a wheel upgrade. Yet he calls me a gear snob, I dont like going lower down the shimano range than 105, which I've been using for years and experience has shown me its good value for what it is. But he's spent 3 times the amount of cash on upgrades that havent delivered anything, but just continually replaces Sora / Tiagra all the time but does it more often so he actually pays more long term, but cant see it, despite me pointing it out.
He just moans all the time and he's never satisfied. He'll look for problems that arent there, just ot have something to complain about. I've stopped going out cycling with him which means avoiding cycling to work, as I stopped enjoying it. He's got a funny attitude towards cycling clothing and he mocks me for wearing my lycra which I know isnt pretty but its comfortable when I'm on the bike and thats al the matters and his constant mocking has made me self conscious about it.
Apologies for the waffle...
True, but what he is doing isnt whinging. You miss my point.
He bought a new pushbike, but didnt research what he was buying. He paid to much money for the bike, which he moaned about, he then went looking for things that are wrong on the bike, which meant he replaced alot of components that he didnt need to.
I listened over the course of a week whilst he worried and fretted about the bearings in his wheels as he got it into his head that the rumbling. So he bought new wheels, he asked me what I thought and said that if it was me I'd save up a bit more money and not buy like for like as he probably wouldnt be able to tell any difference, he then didnt listen and replaced his wheels with like for like and then moaned that he couldnt feel any difference and then bought a third set of wheels which were a proper upgrade and then spent ages bigging up the new wheels he'd bought.
He is now talking about buying a new bike. But he isnt talking about buying a better spec bike than he has now. He's seen a nice Bianchi that is a tasty looking piece of kit, but he wont buy it, because "he cant justify it" so he is on about buying the same Sora equiped Giant that he has now, just so he can have a new bike. the logic of which espcapes me as
Theres nothing wrong with the bike he's got now
He'll then spank cash on it ugprading it all again to get rid of the Sora components.
He'll then complain that it doesnt feel any different to ride.
He'll spend 6 months going on and on about it. He'll ask my opinion several times which he'll then ignore because it isnt what he wants to hear, which makes me wander if he thinks I'm an idiot or that he thinks he knows better.
He's the same with his seating position his been fiddling and fiddling with it, his latest game is trying to make his road bike feel more like his mountain bike to ride because he cant get on with his road bike. This process has seen him on his fourth saddle, I should add these are all cheap as he never actually learns from his mistakes.
In the past three years he's bought three bikes now. Spent god knows how much on components and ugprades. Where I'm still on the bike I bought in 2007 albeit with a wheel upgrade. Yet he calls me a gear snob, I dont like going lower down the shimano range than 105, which I've been using for years and experience has shown me its good value for what it is. But he's spent 3 times the amount of cash on upgrades that havent delivered anything, but just continually replaces Sora / Tiagra all the time but does it more often so he actually pays more long term, but cant see it, despite me pointing it out.
He just moans all the time and he's never satisfied. He'll look for problems that arent there, just ot have something to complain about. I've stopped going out cycling with him which means avoiding cycling to work, as I stopped enjoying it. He's got a funny attitude towards cycling clothing and he mocks me for wearing my lycra which I know isnt pretty but its comfortable when I'm on the bike and thats al the matters and his constant mocking has made me self conscious about it.
Apologies for the waffle...
grief I feel like drowning myself after reading that:pale:
Flupentixol makes the world a better place, so I voted positive.
In 2005 I became self employed and I suddenly discovered what stress is all about. Employees and people management - grrr 'I worked my lunch today so I'm leaving at 4' - 'No you're not, we'll have nobody to answer the phone' - 'Well I want an hour's pay then' - 'Nope, I didn't ask you to work it' - ''Then I'm coming in at 10 tomorrow':rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
Employees and people management - grrr 'I worked my lunch today so I'm leaving at 4' - 'No you're not, we'll have nobody to answer the phone' - 'Well I want an hour's pay then' - 'Nope, I didn't ask you to work it' - ''Then I'm coming in at 10 tomorrow':rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
My response to that would be, "That's ok, have tomorrow off if you like, I'll post your P45."
My response to that would be, "That's ok, have tomorrow off if you like, I'll post your P45."
Not really a statement that would stand up in an employment tribunal :rabbit:
Like to think Im fairly positive, but do get wound up and winge about things, but in a tonge in cheek kinda way, I think?!? Not sure others see it that way tho?
Fizz, sounds like the guy has issues, but should that be bothering you? I know, easy to comment when on the outside :bigsmurf:
True, but what he is doing isnt whinging. You miss my point.
Apologies for the waffle...
Oh! If I was faced with that I'd be inclined to tell him I'm no longer interested in biking and don't want to talk about it any more. Then ride off on my bike (or not)
and avoid talking to him about other stuff as well.
yorkie_chris
28-04-09, 12:02 AM
http://www.cinemaretro.com/uploads/kellyoddball.jpg
Just because their life's **** doesn't mean you should be part of it...
Rorshach
28-04-09, 01:44 AM
neither negative or positive, im a fatalist....s*it happens
BanannaMan
28-04-09, 04:08 AM
Positive!!!
I spent the first 2/3's of my life being negative . Well no more.
Only you can make yourself happy.
Enjoy the positive things in your life.
Ditch the carp that's dragging you down. (be it job, people, whatever)
Ed...
I have to deal with the same stress.
If you find the answer to that one let me know!
Maybe we could hire robots! LOL
.....runs for cover
fizzwheel
28-04-09, 07:23 AM
Fizz, sounds like the guy has issues, but should that be bothering you? I know, easy to comment when on the outside :bigsmurf:
No it shouldnt but, he stands by my desk and just talks at me about it and he's not getting the messge that I'm not really interested in going over the same ground with him all the time.
I have stopped cycling into work which means I can avoid cycling with him so I've been getting home and going out by myself in the evenings after work, which I'm enjoying a whole lot more.
Im tunring into a victor meldrew in my old age! Everytime i feel positive, something comes along and screws it up! So being negative, you are never disapointed!
Dave20046
28-04-09, 08:10 AM
I'm negative about myself, but I am positive about everything else in the world. I assume everyone to be alright until I see otherwise (this might be right away, or in a few years time...). I find something to make me happy each day (full throttle through the brief tunnels on my way home!!!!) and I talk to everyone with a smile and try and make jokes. This morning I noticed a bus bent the offside mirror of a van forward, so I pulled along side, and straightend the mirror for the driver.
The world gets me down sometimes though. Sometimes I feel that very few people around arn't polite or helpfull, or too obsessed with themselves to notice others.
I'm glad I have my good friends and the people of the .org
:winner:
+1
No it shouldnt but, he stands by my desk and just talks at me
Buy headphones?????!
fizzwheel
28-04-09, 08:13 AM
Buy headphones?????!
Already got some...
I cant see any reason not to be positive tbh, ok I have my moments of doubt like everyone but if you cant look ahead you,ll spend the rest of your life looking back.
If it can't be fixed with cake I don't want to know... its a simple rule for my life.
Fizz, why dont you just tell him to get a grip and stop complaining because its getting you down?
Ive told people at work similar things before, and it seems to work. They're usually off with me for the rest of the shift but its back to normal the next day and usually for the better.
Ceri JC
28-04-09, 09:31 AM
Generally very positive in my own outlook, but I do tend to allow the ****wits to get me down more than I should. "Hell is other people." and all that. ;)
ThEGr33k
28-04-09, 11:18 AM
75% positive... I sometimes have doubt's but I usually pull through it fine. :)
Thingus
28-04-09, 11:44 AM
Nah i don't. ****'s going wrong left right and centre here and nothing's moving forward so i guess that's why :p
Positive....... i think
although people do say i moan alot:confused:
Alpinestarhero
28-04-09, 06:00 PM
Reently jumped off the bike to help a guy push his broken down car out the road. Guy was all by himself, cars behind beeping and being generally rude to him and pedestrians just walking by.
He was so suprised by me he didn't know what to say apart from "i'd never have expected a biker to help push"
Yea, see, thats what I mean. No-one helps other people, yet what if they get into trouble? they would want some help. I've offered people a lift before, offered one guy on a CBR my spare brake lever because his was all mashed up, and helped a guy put his rear brake caliper back on his bike after half-wit mechanics didnt do it properly
Soooo moral of the story, if you need a bit of help, and you know where to find me....maybeou you can hire...the A*hero team
da da da, der der der, da da, da da da da, da - da da da daaaa
Owenski
28-04-09, 06:04 PM
Im positive but I am a bit overly enthusiastic about things and tend to get carried away. However when stuff does go wrong I tend to growl then laugh about it and solve it shortly afterwards. **** up makes a situation more challenging and thats a good thing it keeps you on your toes :D
Miss Alpinestarhero
28-04-09, 06:09 PM
At the moment Id say negative.
Im negative about myself as a person (look wise, career wise, friendship wise) and think I could be much better than I am. When it comes to other things, it really does depend on what it is.
I tend to be the most positive one out my group of mates but sometimes their negativity just makes me crumble because I cant prop everyone up all the time :rolleyes:
Maria
gettin2dizzy
28-04-09, 06:19 PM
I'm a happy chappy all the way through :thumbsup:
At the moment Id say negative.
Im negative about myself as a person (look wise, career wise, friendship wise) and think I could be much better than I am. When it comes to other things, it really does depend on what it is.
I tend to be the most positive one out my group of mates but sometimes their negativity just makes me crumble because I cant prop everyone up all the time :rolleyes:
Maria
What ? rubbish , you,re cool, let em prop themselves up for a change
fizzwheel
10-06-09, 12:30 PM
Argh... he's at it again...
I've not cycled to work for ages, lack of motivation more than anything else.. so I've been left alone from his cycling bad juju...
After weighing myself on the scales the other day and recalling in horror at the weightI've put back on has finally spurred me into action. So I cycled to work yesterday and had a nice 15 miler on the way home.
So far today he has told me that "carbon fibre bikes are fragile and over priced and that most riders dont need one"
That he wants a new bike and should he fit Shimano components to the Bianchi he wants to buy.
He's spent 10 minutes going on at me because he broke a spoke on the backwheel of his MTB yesterday when the pannier went into the wheel because he didnt load it up properly.
I can feel my enthusiasm slipping away again, I've just told him "stop worrying about what everybody else thinks and just buy what you bl**dy want, whats wrong with having a nice bike to ride if you can afford it, then go and buy it"
FFS...
i'd walk away from him when he starts Fizz
=\
Cant you switch off? i learnt to with some woman at work :)
Finish college fri next week, still got assignments to do and im negative about it atm neither can i be fecked to do it but i dont want to leave with the 1 year course cert when ive done 2 years bleh, wish i didnt have work 3 - 6 then i might actually get some done :(
fizzwheel
10-06-09, 12:40 PM
He stands by my desk and talks at me and he keeps talking at me till I acknowledge what he's saying. He doesnt get the hint of one or two word grunted answers either and I'm to polite to just ignore him.
I made the mistake of walking to Asda with him, my own fault I should know better.
just say can this not wait til later i'm a bit snowed under at the moment. as for walking to asda with him - muppet!!
fizzwheel
10-06-09, 12:46 PM
just say can this not wait til later i'm a bit snowed under at the moment.
Not when I've got the org up on my screen, no not really :D
as for walking to asda with him - muppet!!
I thought he'd be OK when I havent been cycling he's been leaving me alone and not going on at me about it. I thought it woudl be OK...
I'm going home via a different route tonight, one I know he wont take as he has to be home to help his missus give his kids their tea etc etc otherwise I wont get any peace and quiet.
i see :lol:
just keep away from him if he's winding you up
SoulKiss
10-06-09, 12:50 PM
just say can this not wait til later i'm a bit snowed under at the moment. as for walking to asda with him - muppet!!
Headphones :)
Dont even have to be plugged into anything, just let him waffle on for 5 minutes without giving the game away that you know he is there, or can hear him.
Then turn your head, look startled, remove one earphone and say "Sorry I didnt notice you there - how can I help you" :)
Headphones :)
Dont even have to be plugged into anything, just let him waffle on for 5 minutes without giving the game away that you know he is there, or can hear him.
Then turn your head, look startled, remove one earphone and say "Sorry I didnt notice you there - how can I help you" :)
thats a good one i might even try that one tomorrow
This woman that i tend to ignore, id be sat there on tea brake, with other people and she talk to one person and wouldnt shut up she would even talk over you and i used to sit there and every one could see how much i hated it but i doubt she could! some people just have no idea whats going on around them.
Headphones :)
Dont even have to be plugged into anything, just let him waffle on for 5 minutes without giving the game away that you know he is there, or can hear him.
Then turn your head, look startled, remove one earphone and say "Sorry I didnt notice you there - how can I help you" :)
If that doesn't work, make it more obvious that they're not plugged in
just yawn everytime he talks to you, very rude but might just work.
I have a fairly positive attitude about stuff but am pessamistic. That way Im rarely disappointed.
I look mostly at the positive side of things. I do not like negative people. I try to steer clear of them. I appreciate bad things get even positive people down but those positive people bounce back quickly. I will always do my best to bring someone that is negative back into the positive, but if they are not willing to help themselves, they sure as hell are not going to bring me down with them.
I have learnt recently a negative person is like a whirl pool. If you stay too close to them for too long you will inevitably be dragged down. It then becomes a struggle to get back out yourself.
Quiff Wichard
10-06-09, 02:11 PM
Fizz..
it's obvious Hero Worship..
he SOOO wants to be you .. I wont lie to you
I don't see what the problem is. You just need to tell him straight. Sometimes the best advice is rude and blunt.
I don't see what the problem is. You just need to tell him straight. Sometimes the best advice is rude and blunt.
I'd go with that. As I said, I will not let negative people drag me down. If all he has to say is negative, then don't bother talking to me.
fizzwheel
10-06-09, 02:19 PM
Trouble is he is in my direct team so if I cause a problem between the two of us by telling him to knock it off it'll create a bad atmosphere at work.
He's rather thick skinned and doesnt take feedback or critiscm well and he also has a massive chip on his shoulder.
I'm hoping my "buy what you like comment" earlier on will knock it on the head failing that I'll have to be a bit less diplomatic with him and ride out the tantrum he'll chuck...
plowsie
10-06-09, 02:20 PM
I don't see what the problem is. You just need to tell him straight. Sometimes the best advice is rude and blunt.
But within a working environment can be difficult to deal with.
SoulKiss
10-06-09, 02:22 PM
Trouble is he is in my direct team so if I cause a problem between the two of us by telling him to knock it off it'll create a bad atmosphere at work.
He's rather thick skinned and doesnt take feedback or critiscm well and he also has a massive chip on his shoulder.
I'm hoping my "buy what you like comment" earlier on will knock it on the head failing that I'll have to be a bit less diplomatic with him and ride out the tantrum he'll chuck...
You could always turn it on its head..................
Start asking him questions, make him believe that you now think that he knows better than you do - making it so that you, as the less good source of information are a useless resource.
Might be worth a go. :)
But within a working environment can be difficult to deal with.
It seems like the situation is already difficult to deal with. I've given people at work some 'feedback' although im in no position to. I don't really care what they think, but if it is bringing me down then i will say something. The atmopshere may be stale for a while, but in the long run it will settle back down.
fizzwheel
10-06-09, 02:27 PM
Last time I told him how I felt about something he was donig he didnt speak to me for nearly two weeks, threw a might hissy fit and it created a terrible atmosphere at work.
I really dont want a repeat of that as I supposed to be Senior and therefore set an example of how to behave...
Its the cycling stuff he's really bad with he just wont leave it alone. I think its because its his only hobby and because he's competative he likes to be the best and he puts everybody else down around him because he's lacking in self condience...
Paul the 6th
10-06-09, 02:28 PM
I always try and see the funny side of a bad situation. When things get really bad I usually work myself into heaps of laughter as there's nothing else left to do.
Had to go to a funeral last christmas eve, my take on it was "Some people are just so bloody selfish, don't they know it's christmas?", missus told me to stop being bad but then started laughing.
mate of mine crashed his car and ended up in hospital with various broken bones etc - went to see him and the first thing I said was "Well I'm just glad you're not seriously hurt mate" - apparently it was the first time he'd smiled in four days...
I've been a bit up and down over the last month so I've been going to the gym loads. Seems to be helping "healthy body = healthy mind" and all that stuff.
As for negative people, if there's something for them to feel truly negative about then fair enough, give them a bit of encouragement but for out and out moaners, I tend to leave them to it as they only drag you down in the end.
Paul the 6th
10-06-09, 02:32 PM
I can be summed up by Garbage's lyrics
:smt034
Im only happy when it rains
Im only happy when its complicated
And though I know you cant appreciate it
Im only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
Why it feels so good to feel so sad
I'm only happy when it rains
;)
and yeah, I was just about to say some people seem to will bad things to happen or seem to want to be negative about absolutely everything. Venom beat me to it with a textual reference though :)
yorkie_chris
10-06-09, 03:13 PM
If you think of the worst and can make some macabre joke, then you will never be disappointed.
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