Business speak

[Kinvig]

At the office where I pass the time betwixt 9 and 5.30 I hear loads of amusing business speak. Today I have already heard:

a) a colleague speaking on the phone saying, "Let's lay down some chat"
b) some other colleagues going to a meeting, one suggested he would fetch some coffees from Starbucks and an american got all excitable and suggested that they all go and they could do a "walk and talk"

So orgers as an expereiment - listen out to your colleagues then post up amusing business speak!

[jimmy__riddle]

errr, dont think it will work here, last thing i hear people talking about was whether we had any tetrakistriphenylphosphinepalladium for a Heck reaction.

[yorkie_chris]

Sounds like playing bull$hit bingo.

[keithd]

Sounds like playing bull$hit bingo.

yep. we call them w@nkwords....:D

[Skip]

The salesman who sits behind me says "I was going to say" and "as you say" before almost every sentence that comes out of his mouth when speaking to customers - not strictly just business speak but blooming annoying!!

[Neeja]

"Touching base". Makes me want to stab people.

[Sir Trev]

I have to use it sometimes to get people to take me seriously at work - it seems if you're not spouting the garbage everyone assumes you don't know what you're talking about ](*,).

[diamond]

Apparently we have a lot of silo's in the building that need to be broken open, whatever that means. We hear it at every dept. meeting.

[Grant66]

This thread is "not on my RADAR", although I could be testiculating.

[Scooby Drew]

Can we park that for the moment please...

[Grant66]

only if we have some blue sky thinking.

[Speedy Claire]

erm well the last thing I heard just 5 mins ago was "I P.R.`d him but the guys rectum is full and he`s totally impacted so forget the microlax enema and go for the phosphate" :D

[MR UKI (1)]

"It's a business decision". Used all the time when basically someone doesn't want to make a decision themselves and is putting the onus back on the business so when it hits the fan they ain't to blame. Got be honest I use it all the time :D

[Kinvig]

Didn't get time to write this gem the other day, "Let's rub some funk on it" - one of my colleagues when referring to a news/pr item that needed jazzed up a bit.

[Ed]

I cross out archaisms in other lawyers' drafting - pet hates are 'of even date herewith' and 'the day and year first hereinbefore written' - what's wrong with 'dated with today's date'. And 'In the event that' -what's wrong with 'if'????

Uki - have you come across John Duke yet in Nationwide BS? He went to Nationwide... he used to be my boss, he used that 'business decision' all the time for precisely the reason you say.

[amnesia]

The normal 'touching base / blue sky' phrases crop up occasionally, but working in an engineering department we tend to use more 'colourful' language.

We use a lot of TLA's.

That would be Three Letter Abreviations to the uninformed. However, some four letter codes have sprung up aswell - here are the most popular...

FRO... F*&^ Right Off

FIO... F*&^ It Off

RTFM... Read the manual

JFDI... Just Do It

BTAT... Brew Time Any Time


RTFM once made it into a draft document about product labelling sent out to other business units. It was questioned...

[Woz]

My old boss spoke management bullsh1t far more fluently than he could speak English. I've never known anyone that could talk for so long without actually saying anything.

But then he was a graduate of the Seagull Management school...

Fly in
Flap around
**** on everything
F**k off

[Jabba]

....although I could be testiculating.

Ah... waving one's arms around whilst talking bollix :D

I'll run that up the flagpole and salute it :thumbsup:

[MR UKI (1)]

I cross out archaisms in other lawyers' drafting - pet hates are 'of even date herewith' and 'the day and year first hereinbefore written' - what's wrong with 'dated with today's date'. And 'In the event that' -what's wrong with 'if'????

Uki - have you come across John Duke yet in Nationwide BS? He went to Nationwide... he used to be my boss, he used that 'business decision' all the time for precisely the reason you say.

Re John Duke yep, he is my executive, for the next 117 working days until I leave :D