View Full Version : Feeling upset today
Many will know that I work in Liverpool one or two days a week. One of my co-workers there, who I can't name, has been off sick - had an op to remove a lump from his arm. I found out today that it's confirmed as the big C, a grade 4. The surgeons removed two lymph nodes from his armpit as well, as they found lumps there too. He's waiting for the biopsy result, it takes 3 weeks:o
This bloke is a typical Scouser, in fact at times I find it hard to understand him. Such a nice bloke, salt of the earth, hardworking, two young (well, 10 and 12) kids. And, he's all of 48 - same age as me. I can't help but think about him, he doesn't deserve this.
Life's a bitch and then you die.
Sorry to be maudlin but I have to vent:(
:smt056Sorry to hear this Ed, but cancer isn't the death sentence it used to be.
Modern chemo and radiotherapy gives us hope that people get well and go on to live a full and healthy life into old age. Try to hold on to the positive.
Take care Dx
Chin up Ed. My brother in law was diagnosed last year, his was also in his lymph nodes and we were really expecting the worse. But he's getting there, it hasn't been easy (his boys are 16 and 14) but he's so positive about it and is feeling much better.
So, keep positive especially if you see him.
its not the death sentence it used to be Ed - having a postive attitude helped wonders. Mum refused to let it beat her - her inital diagnosis was lucky if she got 5 years left. All the nurses say PMA is the way to go and its a long hard road to get there but its attainable
Milky Bar Kid
02-07-09, 09:20 PM
Feeling your pain Ed. My gran has terminal secondary cancer in her brain, she's only 66 and probably only has weeks left. It's such a blow when you hear about someone you lovec being diagnosed, but like the others have said, wait and see, a helluva lot more people survive these days
thefallenangel
02-07-09, 09:30 PM
yep just grin and bare it unfortunatly. It's not nice, happened to my gf's mum only 46 but at the end of the day it's older than some other people.
dizzyblonde
02-07-09, 09:43 PM
I can thoroughly understand the feelings and thoughts of those with cancer and bigg diesease like this. I almost understand what the loved ones go through too.
I had a biospy last month for a 9mm lump in one of my breasts. It was the most horrid thing i've been through. Although its just a fibrous adenoma, I paced the floor for days, waiting for the results, and then they didn't get enough sample, the scare alone has made me feel different. I was given the choice of an op to remove or go back in 6 months. I'm going back at a later date to have it removed, but theres always that thing ticking at the back of my mind.
The one thing you can do for your mate is be normal. The guy must be one scared fella. I've found imediate friends who love you are friends indeed, even org members who you don't see much of. It feels a relief just to sit an chat and joke, it brightens your day.
Go brighten his day Ed. :-)
Specialone
02-07-09, 09:48 PM
I have lost both my parents to lung cancer, my dad was 52, i truly believe he probably would have life prolonged had it been now and not in 1978 when i was 7 years old.
Mom was 65.
Just to add, dont smoke, it kills, no it really does.
Edit, sorry point was, medical advances in cancer have come on in leaps and bounds so all is not lost.
Sorry to hear about this Ed. My sympathies go to the fella concerned & to his family, I wish him a good recovery.
Not wanting to wish your colleague an early grave, but this reminds me of the first funeral I went to. I was about 12 & it was for a mates dad who died of a heart attack at 42. He didnt drink or smoke & lead a healthy outdoor life. He left a wife and 3 sons.
It was one of those occasions that stays with you. Even though he wasnt a relative, that funeral probably had more of an impact on me than any other Ive been to.
Dont know about the rest of you, but I need little reminders like this. Lifes far too short, make the most...
Specialone
02-07-09, 09:54 PM
Dont know about the rest of you, but I need little reminders like this. Lifes far too short, make the most...
+1 never a truer word.
Hence learning to ride last year :D
madness
02-07-09, 09:57 PM
What DMC has just said is so true. We all need to remember just how short and fragile life is. I'm sure most of us have had far too many reminders of this and we will continue to get them.
Ed, hopefully your friend will be able to recover from this and lead a happy life with his family. A lovely lady I know has beaten cancer 3 times now and I've never heard her moan or feel sorry for herself, she is an inspiration. All you can do is be there for your mate and give him any support that you can. Being positive, I'm sure is key to surviving something like this. I wish your friend well.
Jayneflakes
02-07-09, 10:24 PM
Frightening times for you all involved, you are a good guy Ed, so your words and friendship will go along way in helping the chap recover. You are good at being strong for people, so this is another time when you help another soul out there. Tell him to get better and then buy an SV.
Some one mentioned smoking, an ex of mine lost both parents to smoking related cancer and it was horrible watching them fade away like that. Smoking three packets of fags a day was bound to catch her Mum, but with with modern medicine she fought it off twice and then kept going longer than we believed she could.
There is hope, it is a hard road, but it can be travelled. Interestingly, there was a science writer who was diagnosed a while ago and who once recovered, wrote about his treatment. The scary part though was the badly worded stats paragraph he found that stated that living past 130 years old was unlikely for cancer patients. He actually read his book on Radio Four which was both moving and comical.
Speedy Claire
02-07-09, 10:41 PM
Am so sorry for your friend Ed but what exactly is the cancer site??? An arm is not a cancer site so i`m guessing it`s a tumour in his arm (which are usually contained). If this hasn`t spread to the bone or lymph glands then I`d go so far as to say that there might not be any spread whatsoever. Terminal cancer usually starts in an organ (the primary site) and if you`re unlucky spreads to a secondary site (metasteses). One off tumours usually have an extremely good prognosis so am keeping my fingers crossed for your friend and his family.
Am so sorry for your friend Ed but what exactly is the cancer site??? An arm is not a cancer site so i`m guessing it`s a tumour in his arm (which are usually contained). If this hasn`t spread to the bone or lymph glands then I`d go so far as to say that there might not be any spread whatsoever. Terminal cancer usually starts in an organ (the primary site) and if you`re unlucky spreads to a secondary site (metasteses). One off tumours usually have an extremely good prognosis so am keeping my fingers crossed for your friend and his family.
Yes you're right, Claire - tumour in arm. Biopsy will reveal if has spread.
TBH the post was as much cos I was so shocked and thinking 'I'm the same age as this guy' - seemd to be a bit close to home.
Thanks for all your kind words peeps:D
Speedy Claire
03-07-09, 10:10 AM
Damn right you must have been shocked Ed..... cancer is a terrible thing and people automatically fear the worst when someone is diagnosed. I can`t believe the number of people I nurse who are either around the same age or younger than me, it`s a terrible disease that has no respect for age or circumstances.
If the lymph glands are clear then I`d say that your friend is going to be fine. Let me know how he gets on x
My friends mum had breast cancer which had also spread into her lymph nodes, she wasn't given much of a chance at all and was too ill to complete the chemotherapy, she was so ill after the penultimate treatment that they didn't bother giving her the last dose.
That was nearly two years ago, she's still with us and although she's a bit more frail than she was at least she got through it!
I think the old cliche about keeping a positive mental attitude does bear dividends when facing serious illness.
gruntygiggles
03-07-09, 11:41 AM
Ed, I'm so sorry to hear this and all thoughts to your friends and his family...and you!
I totally agree with Dizzy......you need to be a friend that can keep the light in his life and not be all doom and gloom. It's very easy to get depressed if we let ourselves. That said, sometimes people need to be able to talk about how low they are feeling, so just be there for him under whatever circumstances and try to keep him positive.
There's so much that can be done nowadays so lets all hope for a good recovery.
x
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