Everybody lets be a bit honest

[Dicky Ticker]

I have been flamed and agreed with over my recent comments over a different generations behavior on here,mostly people who are just starting on the journey of life and finding their feet-----we have all stumbled at some time.
But this is not just the SV650org its the internet open to billions of people and things posted can be read by anybody and possibly related back to partners ,friends or family. Not necessarily a nice way for the second party to find out about their private life being discussed by people they don't know. It is not just the person making the post you should consider.
I appreciate that times change and todays generation may want to be more open,alas it is not just todays generation that reads the internet therefore if you post a private and personal subject and get a bit of criticism for your actions surely this has got to be expected if you chose to bare your soul
I don't condone how the younger generation think or act just that being years older than them I also consider how the topic will be addressed and received by others.
I hope this makes my actions a little clearer.

[Owenski]

Isnt that the whole reason we post under the anonimity of a forum name?

[plowsie]

I'm known by my forum name in real life though Matt.

I do get where DT is coming from, I just think that it is todays younger generations way of dealing with stuff. Let's face it, we've been bought up with computers TBH.

[Alpinestarhero]

I havn;t read anything with respect to flaming and yourself there DT, but sometimes I feel opinons arn't best considered. By all means, argue against someone, but do it in an intelligent maner with facts and figures. Dont just tell someone they are a muppet or whatever.

People do have to remember that when they post, their opinons may not be accepted by all.

[fizzwheel]

In the grand scheme of things I look at it this way

1. Does it effect me ?
2. Does it really matter ?

If out of my life, I can pass on a tiny little bit of comfort or support to somebody else, well maybe that helps them a little on their journey maybe thats a good thing.

We live in a sick messed up, screwed up world full of people who cheat and lie and do their best to destroy each other. People who watch The X factor and think its the biggest thing in their lives that Little Johnny got voted off this week.

Perhaps it takes a bigger person that you I or anybody to say "Hey I'm hurting here" out in pubilc. A problem shared is a problem halved and all that.

Critiscm yes possibly I'd expect it, but to get a kicking when your already down on the floor as broken as you can be. Well personally I think thats a little harsh.

At the end of the day its just a forum. Post what you like, read what you like, if it doesnt break the rules, I honestly dont see what the problem is... You can always choose to ignore it, or to switch it off...

[Alpinestarhero]

For some things, when you feel rubbish, and you know there are nice people here, posting a problem up is a good thing. There have been times when I have wanted to, but I didn't wanna look like some kind of attention seeker (so I let it fester for a few days and then maria guesses something isnt right and i get it sorted out....sorry maria :lol:)

But I'd like to think that I have made enough friends or aquantinces on here, so that if I did reach the deep dark depths of a hopeless depresion...I could tell you all and maybe that'd remind me there's a way out of any mess

[hindle8907]

In the grand scheme of things I look at it this way

1. Does it effect me ?
2. Does it really matter ?

If out of my life, I can pass on a tiny little bit of comfort or support to somebody else, well maybe that helps them a little on their journey maybe thats a good thing.

We live in a sick messed up, screwed up world full of people who cheat and lie and do their best to destroy each other. People who watch The X factor and think its the biggest thing in their lives that Little Johnny got voted off this week.

Perhaps it takes a bigger person that you I or anybody to say "Hey I'm hurting here" out in pubilc. A problem shared is a problem halved and all that.

Critiscm yes possibly I'd expect it, but to get a kicking when your already down on the floor as broken as you can be. Well personally I think thats a little harsh.

At the end of the day its just a forum. Post what you like, read what you like, if it doesnt break the rules, I honestly dont see what the problem is... You can always choose to ignore it, or to switch it off...

Well said fizz i totaly agree with all you just said. :salut:

[Owenski]

Every time I come on here Fizz you seem to get a little more Yoda.
You say it all and you say it well.

[Dicky Ticker]

Fizz and Hindle, Yes but in every situation you are only hearing one side of the story and not the full circumstances Please try and understand where I am coming from.
It just seems unfair that the other party can't give their version or reasons for their actions. You are trying to make a constructive opinion and give advice with half a story which isn't always correct.There is always two sides to a story and then the truth
By all means pour as much sympathy as you want but sympathy does not sort the problem or give an answer.

[maviczap]

Fizz and Hindle, Yes but in every situation you are only hearing one side of the story and not the full circumstances Please try and understand where I am coming from.
It just seems unfair that the other party can't give their version or reasons for their actions. You are trying to make a constructive opinion and give advice with half a story which isn't always correct.There is always two sides to a story and then the truth
By all means pour as much sympathy as you want but sympathy does not sort the problem or give an answer.

+1

[Quedos]

sometimes all you need is one reply to make you see sense/feel better/feel normal.
there are time when talking to strangers helps and who knows what everyone can offer in life skills or training

should it be here - like Fizz says why not if it don't break the rule
its likes a TV programme you don't like switch it off - don't sit and endure it just to complain about it.

as for helplines who honestly knows in this day and age who is the best to turn to.
would you seriously consider phoning the samaritans over a relationship breakup - you hurt but you would considere your self depressed.
sometimes its easier to post to a bunch of people with a common interest( and not necessairly those of the other party) who you trust to answer honestly.
its the way of the world these days i'm afraid no-one wants to talk as many don't know how to express feelings ( and first advice is normally write it down)

If i can help i always will thats just my nature, i read, not always post but accept that this person hurts and needs help.

[fizzwheel]

Fizz and Hindle, Yes but in every situation you are only hearing one side of the story and not the full circumstances Please try and understand where I am coming from.

I know that.


It just seems unfair that the other party can't give their version or reasons for their actions.

It is, but life is unfair isnt it. Its something that we all have to deal with everyday.


You are trying to make a constructive opinion and give advice with half a story which isn't always correct.There is always two sides to a story and then the truth

I know that. All I was doing was offering my thoughts, The OP asked for help and advice and I gave the best that I could judged on the situation as I read it.


By all means pour as much sympathy as you want but sympathy does not sort the problem or give an answer.

Indeed not. But it can be the start of the journey to solve the problem. Simply feeling like you arent on your own can sometimes just be enough to get you going on the road to recovery again.

[Quedos]

Fizz and Hindle, Yes but in every situation you are only hearing one side of the story and not the full circumstances Please try and understand where I am coming from.
It just seems unfair that the other party can't give their version or reasons for their actions. You are trying to make a constructive opinion and give advice with half a story which isn't always correct.There is always two sides to a story and then the truth
By all means pour as much sympathy as you want but sympathy does not sort the problem or give an answer.

true -and i do understand so does that mean we should not post any media related, you tube videos for discussion as we are not fully aware of ALL sides the story.
in life you very rarely get two sides and sometimes you post looking for someone just to say - thats alright you will feel like that. Never assume that someone wants a definative answer as that will normally not what they are looking for.

[Bri w]

I have been flamed and agreed with over my recent comments over a different generations behavior on here,mostly people who are just starting on the journey of life and finding their feet-----we have all stumbled at some time.
But this is not just the SV650org its the internet open to billions of people and things posted can be read by anybody and possibly related back to partners ,friends or family. Not necessarily a nice way for the second party to find out about their private life being discussed by people they don't know. It is not just the person making the post you should consider.
I appreciate that times change and todays generation may want to be more open,alas it is not just todays generation that reads the internet therefore if you post a private and personal subject and get a bit of criticism for your actions surely this has got to be expected if you chose to bare your soul
I don't condone how the younger generation think or act just that being years older than them I also consider how the topic will be addressed and received by others.
I hope this makes my actions a little clearer.

I wouldn't worry too much. There have been criticisms of individuals made by other orgers who are the same age.

The generation thing no doubt does emerge in some discussions - our parents no doubt dispaired at some of things we 'oldies' did. Hell's teeth, at 20 I did things I now look back on and cringe, e.g. going down the main street in Ambleside, with no baffle in, at 50mph, without a helmet after the helmet law came in. - and there's way worse.

Equally I wouldn't dream of saying to the youngsters of today they should do x,y,z unless they were way beyond the pale. Its part of growing up, and good luck to them, let them enjoy that experience.

My view is be there to help them if something goes wrong.

[Dicky Ticker]

Anyhow I have stated my case,the jury will decide, but I abide by my principles over
privacy and consideration for others

[Bri w]

Anyhow I have stated my case,the jury will decide, but I abide by my principles over
privacy and consideration for others

Nowt wrong with that.

[DanAbnormal]

I have no problem with people who put up honest and meaningful posts and actually want advice or help. I've done it in the past and it can be a good way of getting advice that you may not of thought of. However, I do think there are many, many threads that pop up just because people want attention. It's not the end of the world and like others have said, you can choose not to read it. Maybe I am getting old and grumpy too! :D

[Bri w]

I have no problem with people who put up honest and meaningful posts and actually want advice or help. I've done it in the past and it can be a good way of getting advice that you may not of thought of. However, I do think there are many, many threads that pop up just because people want attention. It's not the end of the world and like others have said, you can choose not to read it. Maybe I am getting old and grumpy too! :D

Bus pass reqd????

[slark01]

Without the Org i would not have had some very good advice from people who can give an unbiased view. Nor other peoples experiences which might give me more insight into things that are happening to me.
So what is Idle Banter for if not to discuss anything you like or need to get off your chest.
Hell lets get really angry and say that noone should have written anything about what happened to Hovis or how we all felt.
I better stop now before I start a proper rant!
Bah humbug, moan, whinge, groan, sigh.
Ste

[Kinvig]

Yet again, I have no idea what a thread is on about...can you point to the offending thread?


How about in future, if we rant about something on here, we at least have the decency to put a link up to the thread in the first place to avoid confusion?

[Owenski]

http://forums.sv650.org/showthread.php?t=141589

[Milky Bar Kid]

Fizz and Hindle, Yes but in every situation you are only hearing one side of the story and not the full circumstances Please try and understand where I am coming from.
It just seems unfair that the other party can't give their version or reasons for their actions. You are trying to make a constructive opinion and give advice with half a story which isn't always correct.There is always two sides to a story and then the truth
By all means pour as much sympathy as you want but sympathy does not sort the problem or give an answer.

But if you were talking to a mate down the pub that had just split from his wife or whatever, you would give him support and advice...and you would only be hearing his side of the story?

[petevtwin650]

But if you were talking to a mate down the pub that had just split from his wife or whatever, you would give him support and advice...and you would only be hearing his side of the story?

But you know that mate. Would you offer a stranger on the bus advice? :-k

[jamesterror]

If you don't contribute to a thread, only negative actions the topic itself thats your opinion whether you want to make it known or not, some as you have made it known, others will ignore it and carry to browse the forums?

[Dave20046]

But you know that mate. Would you offer a stranger on the bus advice? :-k
A lot of us know eachother on here though.
Yeah it was a personal thing to put up but I've thought of the forum as a community I don't see how it's any different to 'I have a new job', 'I've lost my job', 'so & so is ill' it's just un bike related advice/conversation/news. If I don't like a thread I just don't read it.

(not an attack at you pete, just commenting)

[Milky Bar Kid]

But you know that mate. Would you offer a stranger on the bus advice? :-k

Probably not the best person to ask as I am always offering strangers advice! And get paid for it!! But yeh, if someone said something to me on a bus and asked for advice...and I didn't get the axe murderer vibe...then yeah I probably would give them my views.

I see where you are coming from but I do think this is a bit of a different situation. Sometimes it is much easier to open up to people on something like this as you are not face to face. I personally find it very difficult to express my emotions face to face with anyone and gradually I am trying to sort that out.

If someone posting something up here allows them to "get it out" and start solving the problem as opposed to letting it fester into something far bigger than it needs to be, ie leading to depression etc etc, then I don't see the harm. Infact, I see it as a positive.

These kind of threads are kept to IB and don't pop up anywhere else on the forum so like Fizz said, providing they stick to the forum rules, I don't see the harm.

(I am in no way flaming either you Pete, or DT as I can see your point of view)

[ophic]

As you've now done here, its a good idea imho to start a new thread to comment on another thread, rather than derail it. It'd be helpful to have the original thread's title included in the comment thread though.

[petevtwin650]

A lot of us know eachother on here though.
Yeah it was a personal thing to put up but I've thought of the forum as a community I don't see how it's any different to 'I have a new job', 'I've lost my job', 'so & so is ill' it's just un bike related advice/conversation/news. If I don't like a thread I just don't read it.

(not an attack at you pete, just commenting)

Agreed Dave, if it were someone I knew I would offer support, maybe not advice as I'm pants at that :), but so many people only know the persona that member projects. Neio is a perfect example of this. On site he was a kn0b, but in person are really nice quiet bloke. So offering advice, as opposed to good wishes or commiserations, could well be flawed.

[ArtyLady]

.....
But this is not just the SV650org its the internet open to billions of people and things posted can be read by anybody and possibly related back to partners ,friends or family. Not necessarily a nice way for the second party to find out about their private life being discussed by people they don't know. It is not just the person making the post you should consider.

I appreciate that times change and todays generation may want to be more open,alas it is not just todays generation that reads the internet therefore if you post a private and personal subject and get a bit of criticism for your actions surely this has got to be expected if you chose to bare your soul
....

It worries me greatly when people are so open about their private lives on the internet where it can be seen by so many! The fact that it's in writing can get people into all sorts of hot water! And if someone quotes it it's more or less there forever (unless you go to all the bother of asking a mod to delete it!) - the old adage always springs to mind "loose lips sink ships" ;)

I could probably have spent hours posting about some of the recent disasters I have had in my life (as DT knows all about - sometimes he has had to put up with my sob stories when I see him - but at least what is said is generally in confidence!)

Isnt that the whole reason we post under the anonimity of a forum name?

But most people on here do at some point meet up -I'd be mortified if everyone knew my most personal life problems :(

But if you were talking to a mate down the pub that had just split from his wife or whatever, you would give him support and advice...and you would only be hearing his side of the story?

But you wouldn't be standing in the pub making a public announcement would you ;)

[Speedy Claire]

I really don`t have a problem with people looking for advice when it`s on something as important as this obv is to Chris. No, I wouldn`t post anything about my personal life but I have used friends from the org when I`ve needed a shoulder and for that help I am eternally grateful. I could see that Chris was hurting and he needed to know that people here were feeling for him and sometimes just finding out that others have been thru exactly the same experience does help you to feel better.

I can agree with DT to a point..... Yes, I feel that there are a small group of "please look at me" self masturbatory threads and those I choose not to read and in honesty I cringe! However I don`t think Chris`s post can be compared to those. He is not an attention seeker and is going thru a genuine crisis and needs to be able to sound off. Sometimes by talking and writing things down we stumble across answers or something that makes us sit back and think "yes... you`re right and thats what I`ll do to help me get thru this".

Good luck Chris and you know that there are a fair few of us nearby so if you fancy arranging an impromtu meet just shout out x

[anna]

Okay another view point...

I can understand where DT is coming from entirely. It´s a public forum and can be read by everyone, including people the o.p that was only meant for your forum friends.

I am certainly not saying not to post or to ask for help when needed, as responses about how strangers can offer help and advice on an unbiased basis is true, however there are posts that are written that sometimes I wonder how you would feel if you had read on a public forum your ex or current partner talking about your private life.

Don’t kid yourself; talking to mates in the pub about your problems means you are ONLY talking to your mates, you are not opening yourself up to the thousands that are logged into a forum who you have never met.

The amount of people who have met me and, and have had their own preconceived ideas about who and what I am based on my forum persona has been amusing at times, but also food for thought. People who haven’t met me only know me through what I write here. That means that nothing I write here can be taken back. It not only can be read it can be re-read and interpreted into many ways I didn’t mean.

[Quedos]

I know where DT is coming from and respect the privacy of the other party and when the other party is known the forum i would have doubts about posting such a topic, but when they are not known surely its no better than calling a helpline
as for offering stranger advice like MBK do it every day - strangers are non judgemental and thats why people ask for advice on here

[Owenski]

But most people on here do at some point meet up -I'd be mortified if everyone knew my most personal life problems :(


I've quoted you now so its locked on here for ever and ever and ever muahahaha :)
Anyway lol less of the silly, either I didnt make my point directly link to DT's post very well or I've misread something entierly.

When I said we post in anonimity I was countering DT's post about "we put personal lives on here for the world to see"
Those forum members I meet and so know who leedsmatt7 actually is are the same people I offered the info to, So clearly I dont mind them knowing my issues.
But the other people who may just be passing through this site, others the stories may involve will not put my forum name to real name now or at any time in the eternity that this information will remain on the world wide web. So the integrity of the others that a post may effect are as safe as those people who write into an agony aunt column calling themselves 'anon'

As plowsie said though, those who post under their real name/common nick name.. well they're monkey'd, but only if someone was important enough to warrent been searched for and to be honest Im not that significant so Im pretty sure I could post my full birth name and a list of all laws I've broken/people I've hurt etc on here and no-one would ever give a crap.

[ArtyLady]

I've quoted you now so its locked on here for ever and ever and ever muahahaha :)
....

Noooooooo!....................:smt022;)

[Warthog]

DT I am really pretty angry with you. I had formed an opinion that you were an older forum user, and a nice guy, but what you posted in Neeja's thread was heartless, truly heartless. I have had the exact same thing happen to me, and I know how devastating it is. Just becuase he is younger than you (note: hardly a teenager though!) does not mean that love and heartache can't happen to him. How would people feel if their wife had died? That is how it feels for him. Talking to many people was what helped me recover; hearing that it had happened to others, hearing strangers advice etc. I would totally support posting like this on a friendly forum, as in his current state of mind things are completely upside down. As for us (including me) not being qualified to offer decent support? Well, how would you know? I have been through the exact thing, I know how it feels and what helps. I can only assume you haven't had this happen to you? If you had problems with his thread, the VERY least you could have done is not post what you did as surely you knew it was going to be contentious and offensive?? I really had thought better of you, now I know I was wrong.

[ArtyLady]

Popcorn anyone?

[Alpinestarhero]

Popcorn anyone?

salted for me, and can I have some pepsi too? lemon, no ice.

[Iansv II]

:drink:

[Neeja]

Warthog, I can see you're angry, but - as mentioned in the other thread - I'm not angry with or upset by DT at all.

He holds an opinion on what is deemed acceptable to be posted in an open forum, and my post falls outside his personal comfort-zone. I can't tell him not to post comments expressing his opinions at the same time that I'm posting my own, regardless of the situation. He has not personally attacked me in any way, he's just stated he thinks that what I posted was inappropriate. I don't have a problem with this attitude, and asked him if he could avoid derailing the other thread. He's now done this (which he didn't have to do) with this thread.

I can't see that he's done anything wrong.

[Warthog]

It is just a subject close to my heart. I am glad you are not offended Neeja.

I should hasten to add that this is just me posting, nothing to do with moderating or mods or anything.

[carty]

Anyhow I have stated my case,the jury will decide, but I abide by my principles over
privacy and consideration for others

What about the privacy of your Italian wife or the five 'step-kids' you talk of in your other thread? How would they feel if they knew their 'step-father' was posting to strangers about them?

Pot, kettle, black IMO

[Milky Bar Kid]

Ooooh.... this is gonna get messy...

[BanditPat]

What about the privacy of your Italian wife or the five 'step-kids' you talk of in your other thread? How would they feel if they knew their 'step-father' was posting to strangers about them?

Pot, kettle, black IMO

+Over 9000

[stewie]

Isnt it all about trust though ? I mean we're not all a bunch of strangers are we ? most of us on this site are part of the bigger ORG. or part of a regional group or frequent IB or tuning and talking etc, I think Neeja is entitled to his thread in the same way we,ve had threada about cake, burlesque, all sorts, personally if a fellow orger is in trouble for whatever reason we can either support him/her, offer constructive criticism or say nowt, its a judgement call I suppose, Id prefer to offer support if I can.

[anna]

Isnt it all about trust though ? I mean we're not all a bunch of strangers are we ? most of us on this site are part of the bigger ORG. or part of a regional group or frequent IB or tuning and talking etc, I think Neeja is entitled to his thread in the same way we,ve had threada about cake, burlesque, all sorts, personally if a fellow orger is in trouble for whatever reason we can either support him/her, offer constructive criticism or say nowt, its a judgement call I suppose, Id prefer to offer support if I can.


Although I have many many friends from .org and I think this is a very special place because of the way that we act as a family, this forum is not private.

It is not a matter of trust, because you are posting information that is of a personal nature in a very public domain. Not everyone reading these posts are people that you know or that you would even consider friends.

Sadly I feel that you are somewhat putting your head in cloud la la land by saying that the .org world is all fluffy and nice, and not open to being abused by others.

[stewie]

Ok fair point, but I stand by my original point that I think we can offer support to a mate , I dont think that constitutes being in la la land ;)

[fizzwheel]

If Neeja or anybody wants to post on a public forum their personal business well surely thats up to them. If it backfires on them, well thats their own fault.

I wouldnt do it, but there you go. Just because you wouldnt do something or cant understand why somebody else did soemthing, does that give you the right to cast judgement or point the figure at somebody else who has.

Does it matter what somebody else did or didnt do. In the big scheme of things if its not effecting you / hasnt done you any harm or talked about anybody in your own life whats the problem ?

Oh and if you detect a small amount of rantage in the above post, you'd be right.

[plowsie]

rantage
Wow, what a word I love that :cool:

[Ed]

Wow, what a word I love that :cool:

+1, Fizz you have coined a new word:cool:

[starks]

there should be no argument here, its as simple as this, if you dont like somebodys post then dont flippin read it, there are thousands of other posts on here you can read instead, nuff said!

[Owenski]

[QUOTE=anna;2077654]It is not a matter of trust, because you are posting information that is of a personal nature in a very public domain. Not everyone reading these posts are people that you know or that you would even consider friends.
QUOTE]

Sorry to pick out a single part of your post anna, but it helps me try explain what I meant by 'the anonimity of it' in one of my previous posts. :)
I'll use myself as the example to be read in conjunction with your post:
Leedsmatt7 is effectivly a hypothetical person to be seen in much the same light as a "i've got this friend..."style conversation down the boozer. Those on here who know who I actually am, they are friends and as friends thier opinion on personal aspects of my life will always be bias in my favour, Im sure you can understand that friends wouldnt want to hit you with the ****ty end of the stick in your hour of need.
But those people who only know Leedsmatt well they're not friends as I recognise the word, they are apparitions really, only recognised by a forum name. So in a situation where I need good honest advice wether it be a pat on the back or a slap in the face I can be assured that by coming on here and bleeding out my soul I will get that honesty. There will be a few that are also my friends who come on here and they'll say "chin up lee it cant be all that bad" which in that senario I'd prob ignore purely for the reason that they are my friends and are therefore bias. But the advice from posters such as (oddly enough) DT, Fizzwheel, Baph and Plowsie to name but a few are members I've never met face to face and yet I can count on their view's been totally honest and therefore the most helpful to me in that same hour of need.
As quite clearly neeja was in his hour of need I think that his post and other posts of the same vain are perfectly welcome on the org. If you give up real names/details then more fool you but if you just come on looking for some direction. Then IMHO you've come to the right place.

[gruntygiggles]

I read through all of this earlier today and couldn't really be bothered to post. I've since read a few more posts and thought I'd throw my 2p in...

Here's the thing as far as I see it...it is down to personal choice. This is a forum that has a U rating and an Idle Banter section. If the U rating is not broken and the subject is unrelated to bikes and posted where it should be in Idle Banter, then no-one has done anything wrong. Whether any idividual would choose to post the same kind of information as another is down to personal choice, end of.

I have been infuriated in the past when I have seen threads written about private matters where I knew full well that both parties were members and someone was going to get hurt. That was I am sure, just a misjudgement, but it is evidence that people can get hurt by things that are written and discussed in an open forum. To that end, I do see the reasons for DTs comments.

It will always come down to this though...we cannot and should not condemn anyone from posting any thread in Idle Banter which does not break the forum rules. It is the original posters right to post whatever they want and it is that persons responsibility should anyone be hurt or offended.

As it is an open forum, we can also not condemn people from posting their views about that topic or whether or not it should have been posted. We cannot all see everything the same way all of the time.

So, if you have a problem with what someone posts, it is as much your right to say that you have a problem with it as it was the OP's right to post it in the first instance. Anyone thereafter that posts opinions in support or condemnation of either party also has the right to do so.

So, to discuss this at length is pointless. We simply cannot all, always have the same views on things. We, none of us have the right to tell others how they should live their lives or conduct themsleves, just as they cannot do the same to us.

Live and let live. Debate. Argue. Disagree. Support. Encourage, BUT...

Do not judge, it is not your place or mine as unless you are extremely close to the person in question away from the forum and bikes, you can never ever know the full story or be in a position to make any judgement.

Yes, younger generations use the internet more freely than older generations, but who are any of us to say which is right or wrong. Neither is......we are just all different!

[starks]

+1 gruntygiggles i jus couldnt be bothered writing all that myself haha

[Bri w]

++1 GG

There is also PM's, and editing and moderators.

We've seen posts removed before. The site is well managed, with plenty of opportunity to correct errors.

Commonsense & common courtesy rules ok - now bugger off!

And there will be mistakes, and that's what "sorry" is for.

[Dicky Ticker]

With regard to my kids post it was done to try and lighten the atmosphere and as has been pointed out in one reply they were nothing to do with me.I have not stated anything that was not the truth and as it is the only one time I have seen her in forty years and unless you know her or her now husband and the kids and wish to tell them something they don't already know. It is extremely unlikely that the kids even know of me as they grew up in a family environment with loving parents which is something I would not intrude into or wish to but does try to explain the ethos about getting on with life.
Some of us have skeletons in our cupboards and facing up to things that happened nearly half a century ago isn't quite the same as a current event
I have no problem living with my past life or telling anybody about it, but I have not disclosed anything that I think would upset them,in fact if anybody would be upset about disclosures it would more than likely me who would be humiliated.

[carty]

With regard to my kids post....

Hey I don't mind what you post - was just using it as an example that different people feel comfortable posting different things :salut:

I don't think I've ever asked for personal advice on a forum as I'm lucky enough to have people close to me to give that advice should I need it. However, the internet is an outlet for us all. To tie this back to Neeja's thread, when I had my first painful breakup, the only people using the internet were geeks, weirdo's and NASA, but had I had free access to a community such as this I might have posted up a very similar story. :drink:

[gruntygiggles]

With regard to my kids post it was done to try and lighten the atmosphere and as has been pointed out in one reply they were nothing to do with me.I have not stated anything that was not the truth and as it is the only one time I have seen her in forty years and unless you know her or her now husband and the kids and wish to tell them something they don't already know. It is extremely unlikely that the kids even know of me as they grew up in a family environment with loving parents which is something I would not intrude into or wish to but does try to explain the ethos about getting on with life.
Some of us have skeletons in our cupboards and facing up to things that happened nearly half a century ago isn't quite the same as a current event
I have no problem living with my past life or telling anybody about it, but I have not disclosed anything that I think would upset them,in fact if anybody would be upset about disclosures it would more than likely me who would be humiliated.

The point I tried to make in my above post supported both you and Neeja.

You do not need to justify to anyone why you posted the thread about your step children.......Neeja doesn't need to justify to anyone why he posted about his break up. For all you know DT, his girlfriend may not even know that SV650.org exists. Neeja may know that and so his posting about his break up is no different to you posting about your kids.

Like I said....unless we know people extremely well and know all of the circumstances, we are simply not equipped to make an assumption that someome may get hurt. It is a good point and I think it is good that you brought to Neejas attention that this forum is public and she may see it......but none of us have the right to tell him that he is wrong for doing so as we do not have the facts.

Neeja asked for a little help, whether you know someone or not.......a kind word or no word is better than condemnation when you do not have the facts. I agree DT with what you were saying regarding this forum being public and potentially people getting hurt, I just don't agree that any of us have the right to go further than simply point out the facts. Yes, tell him that this forum is public and his posting such things could be read by the other party and cause her pain, but we can't judge his choice over posting or not posting anything he wishes.

Does that make sense?

[yorkie_chris]

Fizz and Hindle, Yes but in every situation you are only hearing one side of the story and not the full circumstances Please try and understand where I am coming from.
It just seems unfair that the other party can't give their version or reasons for their actions. You are trying to make a constructive opinion and give advice with half a story which isn't always correct.There is always two sides to a story and then the truth
By all means pour as much sympathy as you want but sympathy does not sort the problem or give an answer.

So it's up to you, as an adult, with a working brain to decide whether the information you are looking at is biased or not. Any time you read or hear anything there is some bias. Get over it, it's the internet.

[DanAbnormal]

Blimey, don't you lot have jobs??? :D

[BanditPat]

Blimey, don't you lot have jobs??? :D


Obv answer here would be no ;)

[Alpinestarhero]

Here's a golden rule about forum threads:

If you don't like what you're reading, stop reading and move onto another thread

[Lissa]

Here's a golden rule about forum threads:

If you don't like what you're reading, stop reading and move onto another thread



Blimey, that wouldn't leave me much to read then! :p

[blueto]

Heres what we should all do.

1. sit back in chair
2. crack open a alcholic beverage
3. exhale untill you feel weak
4. breath in to top yourself up with some good stuff
5. and relax. Chill out. Dont worry if silly posts wind you up. dont worry if they upset you or make you feek peed of. Just relax ignore it and move on.

man i feel calm right now...............feel the calm.......................

[punyXpress]

WAKE UP blueto !
Your drink's getting flat & warm.

[kwak zzr]

i aint bothered who knows my shi#, i aint a private person, what you wanna know :)

[BanditPat]

i aint bothered who knows my shi#, i aint a private person, what you wanna know :)


Inside leg length? ;)

[kwak zzr]

32"

[blueto]

do u wear a pink thong on tuesdays?

[kwak zzr]

narr i dont wear those :)

[Warthog]

Blimey, don't you lot have jobs??? :D

Says the man who's Facebook status has been updated about 10 times today :-P

[BanditPat]

Says the man who's Facebook status has been updated about 10 times today :-P



ooooooo burn dan :p

[ArtyLady]

Says the man who's Facebook status has been updated about 10 times today :-P

Blimey sounds like you lots stalk each other ;) :lol:

[Warthog]

Blimey sounds like you lots stalk each other ;) :lol:

Its waaaaay gayer than you could even imagine :lol:

[Dave20046]

when I had my first painful breakup, the only people using the internet were geeks, weirdo's and NASA, but had I had free access to a community such as this I might have posted up a very similar story. :drink:

Thought I'd just highlight a quality quote for anyone that scanned past :-dd

[carty]

Thought I'd just highlight a quality quote for anyone that scanned past :-dd

Cheers dude, glad to see the wisdom wasn't lost on everyone! :cheers: