blueto
14-01-10, 02:35 PM
Is it safe to come out, now the ice and snow is melting? I’m not asking for the sake of my own safety, it’s my sanity I’m concerned about. I need to know if it’s safe to expose myself to a civilisation that, because of a bit of weather, seems to have spent the last week completely off its collective rocker.
The people on the radio and telly spent all of the Tuesday before last banging on about how we were going to get an unprecedented amount of snow. So it’s not as if we weren’t warned. I, for one, watched the flakes that caused so much havoc fall and keep on falling. So, if a thicko like me could work out there might be a bit of a ‘situation’ come the morning then why couldn’t anyone else?
I made a contingency plan and woke up a bit earlier than usual. Instead of attempting to drive to work, I walked in. Hands up who used the weather as an excuse to stay home… Ooh, that’s quite a lot of you! I’m no gambling man but, I’d bet a fair proportion of those people who couldn’t get to where they had to be last week were the very same panicking mentalists who could be found in every supermarket in Pompey. It was too hazardous to go into work, but trailblazing it over to Morrison’s to grab up bread and milk as if the end of the world was nigh became as easy as taking candy from a baby. (I’m hoping no one stooped that low during the Wintergeddon craziness.) And if you were are the kind of dimwit to have resorted to panic buying due to a bit of snow and ice, then why didn’t you go for non-perishables like frozen food and tinned goods?
As it all seemed to go pear-shaped around me, with buses not running, airports closed and taxis apparently charging double, I carried on pretty much as normal. On Wednesday, by which time the snow had frozen to ice, I managed to walk into work without incident. The night before I had found a yard of carpet gripper rod in my shed and sawed it down to six inch lengths. I then cable-tied these strips to the bottom of my Wellington boots. This enabled me to stride all the way to my place of work, passing plenty of other wobbly-on-their-feet pedestrians. I’m no Stephen Hawking, but a bit of using your loaf (instead of panic buying one) is all it took. Speaking of genius, I have to take my woolly hat off to all of those people who decided that it would be much safer to walk on the roads instead of the pavements. Well done you lot!
For a week I had no post from the Royal Mail. I can’t see why. If sorting office bosses considered it too dangerous for their Posties to go out in the boots they’d been issued with, then the answer was only a carpet shop away. Even though I had no actual post through my letterbox, the young girl who delivers my newspaper had managed to make it to my door every day. So did the takeaway leaflet delivery people (to be honest, I could’ve lived coped if they’d been beaten by the icy conditions). The bin men and recycling collectors didn’t make it though.
I’m not angry at the rubbish not being collected, I’m angry about having to listen to people bleating about having a few bags of their own trash outside for a few days longer than usual. Apparently it was likely to attract animals. To give these people the benefit of the doubt, I set my alarm for 2am the other night and pulled a chair up to my front window to observe the nocturnal carnage brought on by uncollected garbage. Within seconds a gang of two dozen urban foxes turned up and systematically started to untie and rummage through every bin bag in the street. If that wasn’t bad enough, a load of alley cats arrived to have a right old game of chucking teabags at each other. It was mayhem. Except it wasn’t. Truthfully, the bags were left totally undisturbed. I made that cat/fox stuff up.
And what was it about the media? I opened the newspaper one day to see a double page spread on pictures of snowmen. Is that news now? Stop the press: some people have developed the ability to wrap a scarf around a piled up heap of snow! Answers on two bits of coal and a carrot please. One piece of snow-related reporting did warm the cockles of my heart over the last week, I have to admit. There was that story (and accompanying video) about some policemen using riot shields to toboggan down a snow-covered hill. Fan-blimmin’-tastic! There was criticism that the antics of these coppers equated to a waste of taxpayers’ money. I disagree: it’s exactly the kind of inclement weather behaviour I approve of. In fact, I’ll go as far as saying it almost made paying this month’s council tax worthwhile. That’s almost, mind you. I wouldn’t want anyone to mistakenly think that the snow and ice had completely frozen my brain.
The people on the radio and telly spent all of the Tuesday before last banging on about how we were going to get an unprecedented amount of snow. So it’s not as if we weren’t warned. I, for one, watched the flakes that caused so much havoc fall and keep on falling. So, if a thicko like me could work out there might be a bit of a ‘situation’ come the morning then why couldn’t anyone else?
I made a contingency plan and woke up a bit earlier than usual. Instead of attempting to drive to work, I walked in. Hands up who used the weather as an excuse to stay home… Ooh, that’s quite a lot of you! I’m no gambling man but, I’d bet a fair proportion of those people who couldn’t get to where they had to be last week were the very same panicking mentalists who could be found in every supermarket in Pompey. It was too hazardous to go into work, but trailblazing it over to Morrison’s to grab up bread and milk as if the end of the world was nigh became as easy as taking candy from a baby. (I’m hoping no one stooped that low during the Wintergeddon craziness.) And if you were are the kind of dimwit to have resorted to panic buying due to a bit of snow and ice, then why didn’t you go for non-perishables like frozen food and tinned goods?
As it all seemed to go pear-shaped around me, with buses not running, airports closed and taxis apparently charging double, I carried on pretty much as normal. On Wednesday, by which time the snow had frozen to ice, I managed to walk into work without incident. The night before I had found a yard of carpet gripper rod in my shed and sawed it down to six inch lengths. I then cable-tied these strips to the bottom of my Wellington boots. This enabled me to stride all the way to my place of work, passing plenty of other wobbly-on-their-feet pedestrians. I’m no Stephen Hawking, but a bit of using your loaf (instead of panic buying one) is all it took. Speaking of genius, I have to take my woolly hat off to all of those people who decided that it would be much safer to walk on the roads instead of the pavements. Well done you lot!
For a week I had no post from the Royal Mail. I can’t see why. If sorting office bosses considered it too dangerous for their Posties to go out in the boots they’d been issued with, then the answer was only a carpet shop away. Even though I had no actual post through my letterbox, the young girl who delivers my newspaper had managed to make it to my door every day. So did the takeaway leaflet delivery people (to be honest, I could’ve lived coped if they’d been beaten by the icy conditions). The bin men and recycling collectors didn’t make it though.
I’m not angry at the rubbish not being collected, I’m angry about having to listen to people bleating about having a few bags of their own trash outside for a few days longer than usual. Apparently it was likely to attract animals. To give these people the benefit of the doubt, I set my alarm for 2am the other night and pulled a chair up to my front window to observe the nocturnal carnage brought on by uncollected garbage. Within seconds a gang of two dozen urban foxes turned up and systematically started to untie and rummage through every bin bag in the street. If that wasn’t bad enough, a load of alley cats arrived to have a right old game of chucking teabags at each other. It was mayhem. Except it wasn’t. Truthfully, the bags were left totally undisturbed. I made that cat/fox stuff up.
And what was it about the media? I opened the newspaper one day to see a double page spread on pictures of snowmen. Is that news now? Stop the press: some people have developed the ability to wrap a scarf around a piled up heap of snow! Answers on two bits of coal and a carrot please. One piece of snow-related reporting did warm the cockles of my heart over the last week, I have to admit. There was that story (and accompanying video) about some policemen using riot shields to toboggan down a snow-covered hill. Fan-blimmin’-tastic! There was criticism that the antics of these coppers equated to a waste of taxpayers’ money. I disagree: it’s exactly the kind of inclement weather behaviour I approve of. In fact, I’ll go as far as saying it almost made paying this month’s council tax worthwhile. That’s almost, mind you. I wouldn’t want anyone to mistakenly think that the snow and ice had completely frozen my brain.