clearing out my dads desk

[Quiff Wichard]

well my dad had a stroke 7 years ag0- he still alive ! . but his old "office" upstairs I redecorating for mum in to a sewing room..

so we cleared his writing bureau(sp) out.. where he did his accounts and business stuff for his business..

it hadnt been touched for years .. so amongst the pens and paper and old bank statements from 20 years ago and my old childhood teeth in a jar !

I found.


a cheque to him I wrote with the words
"pay my dad more than I can ever repay" written on I had written him that for a birthday present when I had my first cheque book over 25 years ago.. never knew he had kept it.. aww me n dad never got on, in fact we had awful rows and still not got a brill relationship now.. but I didnt know he had kept it.. it touched me..

(you owe me more than you can ever repay was one of his sayings ) along with

you have got a bigger mouth than porstmouth
a bigger head than birkenhead
sit still have you got sinvitence dance
and if you asked "how long will tea be " he always said.. "about 6 inches if it's sausages"





however- there was also one with same date on.. his birthday .. from my brother for £5 pounds... AND HE HADNT BANKED IT ! . ha




then , I came across his letter of acceptance for his new job in 1973..

typed! on a typerwriter- it looked like something from reggie perrin.!


his salary was £2,400 .

two thousand 400 pounds.. a year !

A YEAR !


AND JOHN TERRY ON 160k A WEEK .!






anyway .. it touched me that he kept it .. aww






anything similar happen to you when clearing out belongings.. it is a horrid task I know.. so the lighter moments make up for the pain of the duty




and before you ask.. nope we didnt find any porn.. but I must admit I was worried ... ;)

[Littlepeahead]

When we cleared out my Nan's place we found a painting I had done of my best mate Rebecca when I was 7. She had died soon after from cycstic fibrosis.

I also took the radio I had bought her so she could listen to Radio 4 and the cricket. Ten years later it's still sitting on my bathroom windowsill tuned to Radio 4 FM for the Today show and LW for Test Match Special. Thanks to her and Granddad passing on their passion of the game to me I now have the best job in the world.

[Quedos]

and before you ask.. nope we didnt find any porn.. but I must admit I was worried ... ;)

lucky you - that is a disturbing moment when you do!

[Specialone]

When my Mom passed away in 2002, we cleared her stuff and i found the jewelry box i made her in woodwork class in 1985, dovetail joints and everything, i have it now.
I gave it a rub down with wire wool shortly after and re oiled it, still looks good :D

[Quiff Wichard]

oh yea there was a wooden scotty dog I had made too.. and a cannon my brother had moulded out of ali..

[Lozzo]

One of my mum's proudest posessions is a family of clay pigs I made in art when I was at middle school. I remember spending the whole lesson mucking about and with 5 minutes to go I made a mother pig and 4 piglets really hurridly. I gave them to my mum the following day and she's treasured them ever since. My dad and I aren't the remotest bit close, so not much chance of him having kept anything of mine, except maybe some summonses

[FG1]

Not as good as your story Quiff but,
When I worked in Clothing Stores at RAF West Drayton we had a Warrant Officer retire. He was a great bloke and was always as fair as could be and would only bollock you if it had to be done.
He liked to do things right and wasn't one for taking things he shouldn't.
when he retired, after over 22 years, he came into clothing stores with a sad face and a really old suitcase.
This suitcase was the one he had been issued with when he first joined up and it was in immaculate condition. He opened it up and he had all the little things from the day he joined up, again all immaculate.
He said it was a sad day as he had grown quite attached to the stuff.
We didn't have the heart to let him return it all and made him keep it, even then he still put up a fight but we won and he took it away into civvy street with him.
Some of the stuff in that case would have been worth a pretty penny as it was as good as the day it was issued.
The satisfaction we had by letting him keep it was great.

[Bri w]

When Dad died in '06 I cleared out his garage and found an old fishing reel from the '70's. Him and I used to have a geat time fishing, and with some pretty sharp banter too. It now sits on the windowsill in front of my desk.

We had a very 'proper' old fashioned relationship but in his last couple years I used to give him a hug when we left. Best thing I ever did.

We cleared the bungalow after Mum died in the summer. The only thing I took was her walking stick, which hangs off the windowsill next to the fishing reel.

I also found my very first golf prize, circa 1975, an umbrella which I'd given to her.

[-Ralph-]

Enjoy your time with him!

There isn't a day that passes that I don't wish my Dad was alive to talk about work, or go for a bike run, or play a round of golf. He died at 52, he should have been 64 this year.

(I don't really play golf anymore, but will go if I'm spending a day with somebody that enjoys it, he did play, but I didn't take it up until after he died and I never played a single round with him)

[Specialone]

Enjoy your time with him!

There isn't a day that passes that I don't wish my Dad was alive to talk about work, or go for a bike run, or play a round of golf. He died at 52, he should have been 64 this year.

(I don't really play golf anymore, but will go if I'm spending a day with somebody that enjoys it, he did play, but I didn't take it up until after he died and I never played a single round with him)


My Dad was 52 as well col when he died, but that was 1978 :(
All my family say as i get older i look more and more like him, i just wanna make it to at least 53 as that will be some kind of achievement for a male in my family. Will seem weird being older than him though.

[Ed]

I have my father's 1950s Omega gold watch. I have no use for it and I don't even like looking at it. This thread TBH has made me think of things I try to bury.

[Specialone]

I have my father's 1950s Omega gold watch. I have no use for it and I don't even like looking at it. This thread TBH has made me think of things I try to bury.

I have my dads gold 25 years Garrard service watch from Leyland cars, he was a foreman of some sort, i aint looked at that for ages, i will tomorrow now though.

[CheGuevara]

I have my father's 1950s Omega gold watch. I have no use for it and I don't even like looking at it. This thread TBH has made me think of things I try to bury.

Will buy it from ya cheap :D Kidding of course, but I would love a genuine classic Omega :) Perhaps worth saving for your own son/grandson?

I have, and would ask, for nothing of legacy from the stepfather whose home I grew up in, and I suspect he will survive for many, many years to come without me changing my mind.

That said, I will feel pain for my mother on the event, and cannot deny that we [children] have come good despite our disagreements. On the other hands my brothers (I have 1 sister and 5 brothers) who grew up with my actual Dad have done quite well... :)

[Bri w]

I have my father's 1950s Omega gold watch. I have no use for it and I don't even like looking at it. This thread TBH has made me think of things I try to bury.

Hey Ed, "avoidance" isn't always healthy. The more you confront your Demons the easier they are to beat.

Will buy it from ya cheap :D Kidding of course, but I would love a genuine classic Omega :) Perhaps worth saving for your own son/grandson?

I have, and would ask, for nothing of legacy from the stepfather whose home I grew up in, and I suspect he will survive for many, many years to come without me changing my mind.

That said, I will feel pain for my mother on the event, and cannot deny that we [children] have come good despite our disagreements. On the other hands my brothers (I have 1 sister and 5 brothers) who grew up with my actual Dad have done quite well... :)

Almost sounds like he's left you a legacy already, i.e. a healthy dislike. Don't let it turn to bitterness, especially as your other posts suggest you are a happy chappy - maybe you've done quite well too.

[-Ralph-]

My Dad was 52 as well col when he died, but that was 1978 :(
All my family say as i get older i look more and more like him, i just wanna make it to at least 53 as that will be some kind of achievement for a male in my family. Will seem weird being older than him though.

Funny you should say that. My Uncle was 53 a couple of years ago, and he is the first male of our bloodline to do it (and he's still in good health), but an uncanny number of those have died at 52! He actually made himself ill, blood pressure, etc, in-between his 50th and his 52nd worrying about it. My grandfather (his father), his uncles (my great uncles), and a couple of his older cousins, who were around the same age as my Dad, all died at 52!

Perhaps worth saving for your own son

You ready for another one Ed? A few more years and you've got a live in babysitter! ;)

[Dicky Ticker]

Strang reading this thread,but from the other side of the fence. I do what I can for my sons,36 and 37 while I am here,whether they accept my help is up to them but they know I am here for them.I would rather help now and see and enjoy the pleasure a little help can give.
My old man is still with us 84 [In body if not mind] and his dad,my grandfather was 97
so on this basis I can see me having any money left by the time I pop my clogs
I do have a Rolex watch for them to fight over though:D

[-Ralph-]

I was 21 when my Dad died, an although having flown the nest a few years earlier, and always being very independent anyway, he was always there as a safety net, and when he died the safety net disappeared. That bothered me to start with, but didn't last long as I was always taught that if I dig myself into a hole, I find my own means of climbing out of it, and it just forced me to find my own feet and build my own security earlier in life than perhaps I would have done.

What I miss longer term is talking and spending time with him, Xmas, Easter, etc.

[Jayneflakes]

I was finally adopted in 88 and my adoptive father was kind of cool for the few years of childhood I had left. This year Carol's father died suddenly, despite being ill with MS. We are about to go and help Carol's Mum sort out the flat that they shared for forty five years.

He had always joked that when he passed Carol would have his Ausie Bush hat, it was the first thing that her mum gave to her and she looks great in it. I know that despite the issues that occasionally occurred between them, he was deeply proud of all of his children and grandchildren. I visited him in hospital last year and for a brief moment the joking was put aside and a very gentle man told me how much he loved his only daughter. It was a precious moment and I was able to share this with her after his death, which comforted her.

It hurts losing parents, being given up for adoption at age ten is unpleasant and I know that I lost something, despite it being sick. Seeing Carol lose her only Father was deeply sad and in a strange way, I was a little envious, because I don't know if the man who fathered me is still alive or where he lives. I have wondered if he thinks about me, but I am fairly sure that he would strongly disapprove of how I turned out. Luckily my adoptive Dad says that he loves me even if I am a nutcase.

Families are funny things, cherish them if you have them.

[Spiderman]

lucky you - that is a disturbing moment when you do!

But vintage porn is pretty cool, its almost like art ;)

[Ed]

You ready for another one Ed? A few more years and you've got a live in babysitter! ;)

Hell no!! Anyway it's a physical impossibility (I hope) as I've been 'sorted' in that department:D

[Bri w]

Hell no!! Anyway it's a physical impossibility (I hope) as I've been 'sorted' in that department:D

Haha.... mate had his 'fuse' removed a while back, and his wife conceived at age 48. And its definitely his. He tells us it was planned but we remind him of the day he hobbled into work with a rubber ring to sit on..lol :D

Good luck Ed

[shonadoll]

My dad died at 44, and I was an only child, got to clear out his house. Found lots of horrible things, including a diary he kept of his visits to *ladies of the night*. Lovely to find at age 16. He wasn't a great father to me, but I never really knew him properly.

It's only now I have kids and see them with their dad, that it ever even crosses my mind- I was brought up by 2 wonderful women so didn't miss him much, he used to never turn up when he was scheduled to either.

[Sid Squid]

I've had a similar task three times, both parents and my grandmother, all three times I've found out stuff about their lives that I knew little if anything about.

There isn't a day that passes that I don't wish my Dad was alive... He died at 52, he should have been 64 this year.
My dad was 52 when he died too, that was 22 years ago. To this day I still see things and think to myself; "I'll tell Dad" or "Dad would be interested in that".
Too late now.

If you still have yours, value them. I can't tell you how much I miss mine.

[Messie]

I like hearing about your fond (or not) memories of your dads. Nice thoughtful post Quiff

I miss my dad too - my Mum threw away all traces of mine about 2 weeks after he died. I rescued some stuff from the skip. I've always got a little bit of a turned lace bobbin with me on the bike

[Quiff Wichard]

turned in to a nice post to read this has..

hope you have enjoyed or found cathartic the memories.

life certainly is too short so enjoy it.

my main reason for posting was that me n dad never got on.. lots of physical and mental stuff goin on all through my childhood and he never told me he loved me or was proud of me and to see that cheque that he kept well it was like him saying it.. that's all..

I have had some lovely pm's over this thread so thanks all..

enjoy your life enjoy your family and give your kids a cuddle ..


like it says at the bottom of cazza's posts I think.. "Life is too short- and sometimes it's shorter"