I Hereby Resign As A Mechanic

[squirrel_hunter]

I'd been putting of doing the brakes on my car for a while now, but decided much to the delight of GruntyGiggles that today would be the day. So off I pop to Euro Car Parts (http://www.eurocarparts.com/ecp/p/Car-Parts) to pick up replacement from discs and pads for £30. Then a stop at Halfords to get a Brake Caliper Rewind Tool (http://www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_storeId_10001_catalogId_10151_productId_56 7033_langId_-1_categoryId_165469). Back at mine I begin work.

Car jacked up, left wheel off, caliper off, pads out. So far so good... Caliper bracket off, disc off. New disc on, caliper bracket reattached. Now the fun part, pushing the caliper piston back...

Though it was a lot of effort that required the use of a breaker bar and language that would make a squaddie blush I had the piston compressed back into the caliper. The mating surface was a little chewed but its nothing to worry about.

New pads in, caliper on, sorted. Checked there was still space in the reservoir for the other side, which there was, I decided to make sure the pads were set on the disc.

I go round to the drivers seat and pump the brake peddle a couple of times. And then I hit the problem... I've got no pressure at the peddle. I pump it some more, but still nothing. Check, recheck and check again, everything is back together correctly. But still no pressure at the peddle. Take the caliper out and tried pumping the peddle to see if it would push the piston out a bit, but there is nothing, no resistance and no movement.

Bugger.

Call me Dad to put him on parts running notice and then call Stretchie to see if he could think of anything. We go over what I did and can see no problems. Check for leaks, none, and the reservoir is still full. At this point we decide to call it a day and he'll pop over tomorrow to take a look at it. So I need to put the wheel back on and drop the car off the jack.

I try to put the caliper back on, but can't the piston had moved out. Good news I think. Tried pumping it again but still no more movement. Wound the caliper back to fit it over the pads and tried pumping one last time. But still I get no resistance.

Then it dawns on me...

I realize what I've done...

I will never get any pressure no matter how much I pump that peddle...

I will never get the piston to move no matter how much I pump that peddle...

For that peddle is the accelerator.

I phone Stretchie back to let him no there is no need to come over. I phone me Dad to take him off of standby. I stick the wheel back on and pack up. I give up, I'll do the other side tomorrow.

[allantheboss]

Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahaha

[timwilky]

Numpty, I cannot believe you would admit anything like that.

[Bluepete]

Here's your transport back to the home!

http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk24/conker51/sunshine_bus2.jpg

Pete ;)



PS. I did the same thing...

[squirrel_hunter]

I have to admit to it as I phoned Stretchie for advice. If I hadn't posted this he certainly would have.

[slark01]

Class!
:-)

Ste

[Milky Bar Kid]

pete, that bus is not suitable....it does not have square wheels.

OMG Steve....you are a 'tard. Please note, I will hold this against you. That really was an MBK moment.

[Bluepete]

MBK, give me the keys for a few minutes, I'm a qualified advanced driver, I'll get it sorted in no time! :D

Pete ;)

[Amanda]

:laughat:

[2hys]

:notworthy:lol

[Dave20046]

:neutral:

...never?

Is the accelerator pedal in the middle on landys or something? Were you high?

[petevtwin650]

And now you've flooded it too.:p

One to tell your grandchildren. If you can work out how to do that :smt017:smt081

[Jabba]

I've ben in need of a darned good belly laugh for a while now. Cheers pal, you're a star :smt081

[fizzwheel]

Theres two distinct seperate problems here...

1. Is said confusion over throttle / brake pedal. Remind me how you passed your test again ;):D

2. You phoned Stretchie for advice :p:D

[Mr Speirs]

Ha that's funny. I thought you were going to say you'd bust a seal on the master cylinder from pushing the piston back without undoing the banjo bolt or something...but that was much funnier.

[Specialone]

Thats funny,
remember to take top off master cyclinder as well when compressing the piston back.

[Holdup]

pffffffffffffffffft

Unlucky :p

[EssexDave]

That made my day haha. (Yes poor day)

[Baldyman]

Stevie boy, you are classic!!!!!!!
Joy and I have howling for a good 5 minutes.

Cheers matey, especially for being brave enough to "fess up"

[Owenski]

does this make me loose my mechanic clown crown? Thats gotta be worse than my f'ups.
Awsome that you've posted it though, really lighted my evening :) hehe silly bugga.

[anna]

I dont know what is funnier the fact that you did this, or the fact that you thought Stretchie could help!! ;)

[thulfi]

:neutral:Is the accelerator pedal in the middle on landys or something? Were you high?

my thoughts exactly. :smt033:smt033few too many doobies perhaps?

How many times did you actually press the accelerator until you realised? Sometimes you can have your mind so totally elsewhere that you compensate by going into autopilot for the mundane tasks...

not that I'm tryin to give ya an excuse or anything,cos there aint one, lol:D

hilarious

[maviczap]

An epic fail. Still I've had a few, although not like this.

Sometimes best to sit down and have a brew, as sometimes it helps the thinking process

[Ed]

Just think of the damage you can do tomoz:lol:

[davepreston]

MONG!
that is all
:smt081

[Drew Carey]

Quite funny really. A while ago, Stretchie said he would help me do the discs, drums and pads on our car. Part of that chat said something along the lines of, "Between me, you and Squirrel we will get it all done in a day".

I think I need to re-evaluate this option!!! :D

[petevtwin650]

Quite funny really. A while ago, Stretchie said he would help me do the discs, drums and pads on our car. Part of that chat said something along the lines of, "Between me, you and Squirrel we will get it all done in a day".


If, in a moment of total insanity you agree to the "Dream Team" tinkering with the most important bits of your car, please, please, PLEASE, film it for us to watch, Drew.:D

[Drew Carey]

If, in a moment of total insanity you agree to the "Dream Team" tinkering with the most important bits of your car, please, please, PLEASE, film it for us to watch, Drew.:D

I trust Strechie though! :D

[5hort5]

lol - that's great - that's the sort of thing I'd do

[Fizzy Fish]

Ahhhh, that's brilliant!

Please don't give up o the mechanics, we need more stories like that...

[Alpinestarhero]

My first accident was a result of an elderly lady pushing the accelerator instead of the brake.

related?

[Bubble]

gave me a good laugh on this crappy weather day :p

[Vorkohnen]

I think we all suffer from absent mindedness. Its like when you go to put a pot of yoghurt in the bin but end up throwing the spoon in instead. But then again, I'm not an expert in that ;)

[dirtydog]

Ha ha that's quality that is

[Alpinestarhero]

I think we all suffer from absent mindedness. Its like when you go to put a pot of yoghurt in the bin but end up throwing the spoon in instead. But then again, I'm not an expert in that ;)

thats not too bad

its when you have spent 5 weeks getting 30 milligrams of some super-hard to make chemical and the wash it down the sink having not labelled your stuff properly and assuming it was dirty crap along with the rest of the ***t in the fume hood

5 weeks man

5

[Vorkohnen]

5 weeks? Well I'll be quiet about the spoons then... ;)

[Sid Squid]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Steve, that is fantastic, pure gold :D.

I had to wait three or four minutes 'til the tears of laughter had cleared enough for me to be able write this.

I much admire your honesty - but then again you're quite right - if you hadn't told us I suspect Dan wouldn't have wasted any time in grassing you.

[Beenz]

Brilliant! Asking Ol 4x4 wheels for help as well, pure class.

[_Stretchie_]

I have to admit to it as I phoned Stretchie for advice. If I hadn't posted this he certainly would have.

Yes I would, infact, Grunty and I were down at the 24/7's house on Saturday night and I just HAD to bring it up..

:neutral:

...never?

Is the accelerator pedal in the middle on landys or something? Were you high?

He's got a Punto.... So deffo no 'high'


1. Is said confusion over throttle / brake pedal. Remind me how you passed your test again ;):D

Ask him what happened when he went to test drive the first car he was interested in after passing :laughat:

2. You phoned Stretchie for advice :p:D

I resemble that remark

Quite funny really. A while ago, Stretchie said he would help me do the discs, drums and pads on our car. Part of that chat said something along the lines of, "Between me, you and Squirrel we will get it all done in a day".

I think I need to re-evaluate this option!!! :D

Might be a good idea

Brilliant! Asking Ol 4x4 wheels for help as well, pure class.

:smt059


Well, I think following a conversation this weekend the new .Org mechanic dream team has been forged. Me, The Lone Wolf and Squirrell_Hunter

Lone wolf - Welder (never seen a welding torch)
Me - Electrics (is that where you plug it in?)
Squirrell - Cheif spannerer and brake specialist (nuff said)

[the_lone_wolf]

Lone wolf - Welder (never seen a welding torch)
Me - Electrics (is that where you plug it in?)
Squirrell - Cheif spannerer and brake specialist (nuff said)
:laughat:

[RichT]

Squirrel - You didn't happen to work for Toyota did you? :D

I couldn't resist

[Viney]

SH, fantastic story. Almost as good as my mate who fitted his car radio. Back in the old days before it was all plug n play you used to have to find lives etc. So after a phone call to me and saying that he needs a switched live and permenant live, off he goes. 3 hours later he calls me up with a problem. He says it runs fine after he's fitted it. However when he got in later the radio went off when ever he drove away. Saying that it could be a loose connection i got him to check everything...

anyhoo, after a hour and me eventually having to go over there, it worked out that he'd wired the permenant live to the courtesy light, so everytime he shut the door the radio went off!

[andreis]

Oh man! Epic! Epic!

In SH's defense, maybe he's been along bikes for too long, so when he thinks "brake with my foot" he goes for the pedal on the right..

[lily]

:laughat:

A for effort however! I would have just taken it to the garage!


SH, fantastic story. Almost as good as my mate who fitted his car radio. Back in the old days before it was all plug n play you used to have to find lives etc. So after a phone call to me and saying that he needs a switched live and permenant live, off he goes. 3 hours later he calls me up with a problem. He says it runs fine after he's fitted it. However when he got in later the radio went off when ever he drove away. Saying that it could be a loose connection i got him to check everything...

anyhoo, after a hour and me eventually having to go over there, it worked out that he'd wired the permenant live to the courtesy light, so everytime he shut the door the radio went off!


that has also had me crying reading it! :D

[El Saxo]

Lone wolf - Welder (never seen a welding torch)
Me - Electrics (is that where you plug it in?)
Squirrell - Cheif spannerer and brake specialist (nuff said)

Got any room for a spark plug / battery tester? ;)


SH I have just got so many weird looks at work when I almost p***ed myself laughing at your OP! :laughat:

[Viney]

I will admit that im not totally devoid of all things Numpty. I managed to put 2 brake pads on one side of the disc once. i wondered why it was a bit tight! In my defence it was dark and raining! I rolled the bike back and thought, hmm, that dont sound right! It can happen to the best of us you know!

[flymo]

awesome

[Milky Bar Kid]

Mwahahahaha!

Seeing as seems to be taking so much pleasure out of Stretchie and his diesel incident...

[Richie]

I think the problem is a Biological Interface Failure...
you make me laugh :0) :p

[andrewsmith]

Well SH I've already said this comment

That is a fail beyond your oil incidents.

[Red Herring]

We can all miss the obvious sometimes. I spent about 20 minutes the other night trying to bleed one of the calipers on my track bike, couldn't get any pressure, kept having to top up the master cylinder, even tried reverse bleeding which always works.... then eventually realized I'd forgotten to attach the caliper on the other side.....

[andrewsmith]

RH

That is pretty impressive as a obvious 1