View Full Version : I just never manage to get it right!
:confused:
<Rant>
Here's the story:
My wife is away next weekend doing weekend craft retreat and has been feeling bad because she won't be here for mothers day. She booked it ages ago and didn't realise the clash.
Anyway she was really feeling guilty about the kids, so I decided to bring it forward a week and a day to today so that the kids didn't get left out and that she could have a nice time without feeling bad. GREAT IDEA!
Well that's what I thought!
So the kids made cards, got a couple of bunches of roses and a bought her a big box of her favorite chocolates and were looking forward to making breakfast for her and giving her the gifts on 'our' mothers day.
However, the wife went out for her works belated Xmas meal last night (delayed due to the weather etc.) and came in p1$$ed last night.
So at 6:30 this morning Harry 5 and Daisy 9, were both up a raring to go, I managed to keep them at bay until 7:30, but they were insistent on making Mummy breakfast.
With a croissant and a coffee they had made for her and the flowers, chocolates and cards off they went upstairs to see her...
"WHO'S IDEA WAS THIS?" said in a scowled voice
I lost interest at that point and came back downstairs, needless to say I am in the dog-house, the drink and breakfast remained untouched and now I am bad for doing it today when she was nursing a hangover.
Oh and the reason I am not doing it tomorrow is that I have to be up and out at 6:30, so today was my only chance.
What a cow! I was just trying to do the right thing by her and the kids...
</Rant>
Geodude
06-03-10, 02:24 PM
Try again later today when the evil hangover demon has been exorcised ;)
wattyfred89
06-03-10, 02:39 PM
mate that sucks. hopefully she will apoligise
Unlucky. Should have got the kids to bring her a "hair of the dog".
But you're not alone:
http://forums.sv650.org/showthread.php?t=147745
Maybe she'll appreciate things more later?
Biker Biggles
06-03-10, 03:01 PM
Wimmen eh? She was feeling guilty about it until she found a way to make it all your fault.Its always our fault you know.
All I want is a quiet life, where I am free to run or go out on the bike when I feel like it, and the occasional n0shing thrown in.
I have even agreed to a smaller house, against my better judgement because it is "perfect". It is much more expensive too and my commute will be up from 25 miles per day to a gnats over 70 per day, my poor CBR...
and you win by losing.
Not sure I follow that?
maviczap
06-03-10, 06:14 PM
I took my wife to Munich last year as a surprise Wedding aniversary & combined 40th birthday, plus seeing Bruce Springsteen to boot as well
I didn't score any big bonus points, and I came back thinking why did I bother, so I've vowed never to go to the trouble again. :smt092
You are not alone in being unappricated, although I'm sure there's plenty of ladies out there who would have at least said thanks :-({|=
I am sitting here brooding about it i am so p155ed off about it.
I honestly bend over backwards to make her and the kids happy but it never comes off as I expect it to!
Mate, that is a bit poo to be honest. Even as a woman looking at the situation I can see that she is out of order. In fairness I guess we are never at our best with a hangover but perhaps to have appreciated it a little and then said "I really need a lie in now" What a shame.
Best thing to do is tell her how much trouble you went to and that you appreciate she had a hangover but there was no need to be so negative.
Specialone
06-03-10, 06:51 PM
I am sitting here brooding about it i am so p155ed off about it.
I honestly bend over backwards to make her and the kids happy but it never comes off as I expect it to!
Theres your problem, dont try in the first place or at least less often.
When your not doing it she may realise whats she probably got complacent with, taking or being taken for granted is very easy.
Dont try too hard either, simple things but do them well.
21QUEST
06-03-10, 06:53 PM
A bit 'off' that you are in the dog house, for trying making a good effort bud but does sound like, someone needs to grow some cojones :p ;)
Cheers
Ben
ceeshaw
06-03-10, 06:55 PM
Don't sweat it mate, just let it go. The best gift I can give my Mrs is an extra hour in bed... some girls just neeeeeeeeeeed their beauty sleep, and woe betide the man that wakes 'em!!
Shellywoozle
06-03-10, 07:28 PM
Arghh that was a lovely gesture hun .... shame it wasn't appreciated. Hope you 2 make it up soon and she makes it up to you, hope the kids weren't too disappointed.
Chin up, sunny tomorrow get out on your bike and leave her to be grumpy xx
Cymraeg_Atodeg
06-03-10, 07:42 PM
I am sitting here brooding about it i am so p155ed off about it.
I honestly bend over backwards to make her and the kids happy but it never comes off as I expect it to!
Is that not exactly what they call "life"?
You plan, sort, organise, agree, set-up and execute something to perfection only for it to blow up in your face!
Is that not exactly what they call "life"?
You plan, sort, organise, agree, set-up and execute something to perfection only for it to blow up in your face!
That's supposed to be her job.. :safe:
Reminds me of my inlaws. They got married in 1949 when money was really tight, and on first anniversary in 1950 John bought an anniversary card. Mary considered this the height of extravagance and poor John was condemned. So she never got an anniversary card again, not to the day he died in 2001.
Sorry to be judgemental Kev - but if she can't be gracious about it then she don't deserve it.
Speedy Claire
06-03-10, 09:31 PM
Was a very thoughtful gesture and I hope the children weren`t too upset that their efforts weren`t appreciated. Hangover or not we should always take the time to show our kids how much we appreciate all they do.
Reminds me of my inlaws. They got married in 1949 when money was really tight, and on first anniversary in 1950 John bought an anniversary card. Mary considered this the height of extravagance and poor John was condemned. So she never got an anniversary card again, not to the day he died in 2001.
Sorry to be judgemental Kev - but if she can't be gracious about it then she don't deserve it.
+1 to what Ed sez.
Irrespective of whatever her reason for biting your head off, the kids don't deserve that sort of cr@p. We, as adults, can understand a bad day but kids don't - someone needs to make it up with the kids.
speedplay
06-03-10, 09:51 PM
All I want is a quiet life, where I am free to run or go out on the bike when I feel like it, and the occasional n0shing thrown in.
Sounds like what you need is a divorce ;)
shonadoll
06-03-10, 10:13 PM
I think that's really unfair of her. I hope she makes it up to you.
Sooo...... how's the evening been???
muffles
07-03-10, 08:27 AM
Doh, this is harsh mat, especially after some of the compromises you are giving with moving ! I would probably do one of two things - 1) talk to her about this and why you don't like it (sensible) or 2) sod it and stop bothering, do what you wanna do (maybe slightly less sensible). Hope it sorts itself out either way!
Grow a sack and tell her exactly how much of an ungrateful and selfish cow she is being. She's making you and the kids suffer so she can have her own way. I certainly wouldnt put up with it.
gruntygiggles
07-03-10, 01:49 PM
Ah...I feel really bad for you mate. TBH, my first thought was....how could she say that when your kids had taken her a cooked breakfast. My sister and I always used to do things like that for my mum and she always reacted the same way. There is simply no pleasing some people, but when that dissatisfaction is taken out on the kids....you should tell her.
She needn't have felt guilty about next weekend as it was an honest mistake, but her reaction to the suprise is something she absolutely should feel guilty for...the kids got hurt and it was directly her fault. She needs to make it up to them and apologise to you.
You just seem really really annoyed by this, so probably better to get it off your chest and have it out with her than let it simmer and let resentment creep in.
I thought it was a really sweet and thoughtful thing to do...(please PM Stretchie with some ideas...lol).
x
You guys don't have a clue!
The best gift you could have given her that morning was to have quietly taken the kids out for the morning and given her a long lie in!
Gifts and cards could have waited until the afternoon:-?
CoolGirl
07-03-10, 07:38 PM
You guys don't have a clue!
The best gift you could have given her that morning was to have quietly taken the kids out for the morning and given her a long lie in!
Gifts and cards could have waited until the afternoon:-?
that would have worked if he'd known in advance that she was going to need the lie-in. As it was, seems that he did his best to hold the kids back a bit (not easy at their age).
Kev - in my house you'd be a saint for going to all that trouble! Having had my birthday, christmas, valentine's day and other special occasions all passed by, it would have been fantastic.
But if my boys do something nice for me and I'm not quite in the mood for it, I always try and let them know that their efforts are appreciated anyway.
Jayneflakes
07-03-10, 07:52 PM
To think that they don't allow us to beat our women anymore, it's a disgrace!
Know how you feel fella, some girls are just funny feckers when you wake them up. An Ex of mine sulked all day after she dreamt that I had cheated on her. When I finally confronted her about it I took it and tried to make peace. We all learn how to deal with it eventually.
These days though, I can be a hormonal cow when I like too, I just forget to take my meds and my mood swings so black, it sucks the light out of the room.
If you want to be really nasty though, you now have an amply supply of Emotional Black mail, administer it with care though, or you can cause some horrible damage.
Finally, be glad you only have one wife. Think of those poor religious (nutters?) folks who have three or more.
Hmm, misogyny from a woman, can you tell I am feeling bitter today? Where did I leave my HRT?... :-(
CoolGirl
07-03-10, 07:58 PM
Hmm, misogyny from a woman
I hope it's really just a dose of post-feminism;)
Had a bit of a row about it last night after putting the kids to bed then proceeded to ignore each other for the rest of the evening...back on an even keel now after me sodding off for most of the day before any of them got up.
Am going to try less, because I can't be arsed anymore!
Speedy Claire
07-03-10, 08:18 PM
You guys don't have a clue!
The best gift you could have given her that morning was to have quietly taken the kids out for the morning and given her a long lie in!
Gifts and cards could have waited until the afternoon:-?
This has been on my mind all day and sorry Dawn but I disagree with you. Her children wanted to do something special for her as a mothers day treat so breakfast in bed was a lovely idea... she should have had the good grace to appreciate the gesture and make the children feel like they`d done something really good and made mum happy. If a hangover makes her that selfish and moody then perhaps she shouldn`t drink!!
And I wouldn`t mince words when discussing this with your wife Krhall.. tell her she was bang out of order and that she`s lucky to have such a thoughtful family. There`s women out there who would cherish just a small amount of what she`s got.... I`d even go so far as to show her this thread!
Jayneflakes
07-03-10, 08:20 PM
I hope it's really just a dose of post-feminism;)
I have read a lot of feminism, especially when at Uni and the one thing I hold as most important is that I can be strong and powerful and still be a woman. However, I see it as my right to cry on mechanics and get them to fix my bike when I have just had my nails done! :smt081
In truth, we don't know what other issues this woman had going on. From such a small snippet, it is hard to see what is happening. It is entirely possible that she felt unworthy of the attentions and lashed out due to that feeling, thus creating a self perpetuating cycle. People, not just women, are funny creatures and we are often pretty poor at communicating just what is wrong. Maybe a semi drunken, very tired, hormonally challenged woman was having a sad moment and had flash anger? Maybe there is an unresolved issue that has been forgotten? Maybe she is just a grumpy cow who woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
I have been known to shout blue murder if I am disturbed or woken when I have a migraine and I do not always remember it afterwards if it was a bad one.
If in doubt though, give her black eye or two, that always makes us feel loved (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooPWf_c9DRI)... :dj:
If in doubt though, give her black eye or two, that always makes us feel loved (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooPWf_c9DRI)... :dj:
Q - What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A - Nothing, you've told her twice already
BanannaMan
08-03-10, 02:23 AM
......... Her children wanted to do something special for her as a mothers day treat so breakfast in bed was a lovely idea... she should have had the good grace to appreciate the gesture and make the children feel like they`d done something really good and made mum happy. If a hangover makes her that selfish and moody then perhaps she shouldn`t drink!!
And I wouldn`t mince words when discussing this with your wife Krhall.. tell her she was bang out of order and that she`s lucky to have such a thoughtful family. There`s women out there who would cherish just a small amount of what she`s got.... I`d even go so far as to show her this thread!
+1
Well said.
And yes ...treating the kids as such.. you need to have a few words with her.
kellyjo
08-03-10, 06:59 AM
God, i could NEVER behave like that if my kids had done such a sweet thing for me, how selfish she sounds! My husband never got my kids to do anything like that but we always used to make a big deal of his birthday, fathers day etc.. Maybe thats why im seeing my solicitor tomorrow!
Had a bit of a row about it last night after putting the kids to bed then proceeded to ignore each other for the rest of the evening...back on an even keel now after me sodding off for most of the day before any of them got up.
Am going to try less, because I can't be arsed anymore!
Don't try less, try different.
Having had a marriage that spiralled down into indifference and divorce. And then seeing the ex move 150 miles away, taking the children with her. Not seeing them for weeks, and sometimes months at a time, I'd be careful about falling out too far.
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