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CheGuevara
13-03-10, 09:58 PM
Wow. Just wow. I've heard it said the greatest trick the Devil ever played was making mankind believe he didn't exist. It's not true. The greatest trick the devil ever played was making me waste nearly 2hrs watching this cr@p.

I'm sure if you're a film student with a major in Emo, this is sheer brilliance. For the rest of us, this is contrived sh1te, so overdramatic as to be pathetic. I hate to say it was bad acting, because I typically love Willem Dafoe's work (Platoon, Wild at Heart, and the gay FBI guy in Boondock Saints especially).

If it's possible to overstate a movie in it's title where just a single word (Antichrist) is involved, then this movie has achieved that on an epic scale. If there was an award for most over-titled film of the year, this would be it.

Perhaps you might expect (as I did) that based on it's reputation/reviews, this is a film that's part Exorcist, part Crash and part porno. In reality it start out with Willem's berries swinging to and fro, spends the next hour or so in monumental boredom, then chucks in a talking dead fox and a bit of confusing random gore for effect.

I get the feeling this film is supposed to make you feel depressed. If that's the case, then it worked. I am indeed depressed; depressed that I paid £4 or so to watch it on Sky. Were I not inherently cheap (and desperately hoping it would improve), I would have changed the channel 15 minutes in.

Somebody kill me. Please.

Girth
13-03-10, 10:31 PM
So what you got against Film Student Emo's eh?

:D

CheGuevara
13-03-10, 10:37 PM
So what you got against Film Student Emo's eh?

:D

If they send me a cheque for £4 plus retrieve the 2hrs I wasted watching this cr@p, then I have nothing against them at all...

Otherwise I hope they realise all of their hopes and dreams and live their lives in some sort of twisted parallel to this film.

Girth
13-03-10, 10:38 PM
So, to describe the film in three words would be?

CheGuevara
13-03-10, 10:42 PM
So, to describe the film in three words would be?

Sorry -forum has a U rating :)

Edit -to put it lightly, it sucked goat a$$.

DarrenSV650S
13-03-10, 11:17 PM
You should have known from the trailer

yorkie_chris
13-03-10, 11:22 PM
Someone might buy you a pint for the funny review? If a few of us do so then you could lose enough hours unconscious that the 2 spent watching it wouldn't really matter...

CheGuevara
13-03-10, 11:35 PM
Someone might buy you a pint for the funny review? If a few of us do so then you could lose enough hours unconscious that the 2 spent watching it wouldn't really matter...

I certainly won't say no to a pint (god knows I could use a few after this), but if you've seen the film, you might think I was being more kind than funny. :(

CheGuevara
13-03-10, 11:38 PM
You should have known from the trailer

I should have watched the trailer. I'd watch it now to see whether or not it was misleading, but I just couldn't bear any more of the torture.

tactcom7
13-03-10, 11:41 PM
£4 for the pictures? bargain I say, costs me at least £8 :(

CheGuevara
13-03-10, 11:42 PM
£4 for the pictures? bargain I say, costs me at least £8 :(

You saw it in the theatre? I feel your pain.

tactcom7
13-03-10, 11:44 PM
haha no i've not been quite so unlucky, as you're review would suggest.
Just jealous of how cheap it is where you live!

Girth
13-03-10, 11:47 PM
He bought it on SKy

tactcom7
13-03-10, 11:48 PM
i am too poor for sky.

CheGuevara
13-03-10, 11:49 PM
haha no i've not been quite so unlucky, as you're review would suggest.
Just jealous of how cheap it is where you live!

What seriously? Sky charges twice as much to watch a film on Box Office where you are?

CheGuevara
13-03-10, 11:50 PM
i am too poor for sky.

Ahh I see. Maybe it's because you spend £8 to see movies elsewhere :)

tactcom7
13-03-10, 11:50 PM
What seriously? Sky charges twice as much to watch a film on Box Office where you are?


Well now i just feel silly...

yorkie_chris
14-03-10, 11:15 AM
As you should for not reading the OP ;-)


So this film is crap in a "taking itself really seriously but crap" way rather than crap in a "George A Romero zombie flick, crap but not serious at all and hilarious" way?

CheGuevara
14-03-10, 07:13 PM
George A Romero zombie flick, crap but not serious at all and hilarious"

Would have been a far better way to have spent my evening indeed. But yes I think you've summed it up quite well.

yorkie_chris
14-03-10, 07:14 PM
Films are like music, who cares if it's crap so long as it doesn't take itself too seriously.

Warthog
15-03-10, 09:18 PM
Snooooooooooooooore I totally agree CheGuevara! I am a massive fan of gore and obscure films, but this one was so arty and boring. Fine, the odd bits of gore were good, but they in no way made up for the arty snorefest that was the rest of the film. If there had been any more 5-minute leaf-rustling scenes or 10-minutes silences I'd have had to drill a hole through my calf just to releive the boredom. And that woman was SO annoying!