View Full Version : Can I kill the children next door?
Bluepete
16-06-10, 02:22 PM
The two sodding little screaming brats next door. Jeez, they are incapable of doing anything without screaming. I mean, really screaming, in the way only small girls can.
Imagine scraping your fingernails down a blackboard whilst being made to chew cotton wool with bits of KitKat wrapper in it and you still won't get anywhere near how fecking annoying those little sh1ts are.
The mother, who is a "Stay at home Mom" (ie fat and too stupid to work) does nothing to stop them.
Would I be justified shouting at them. I can really, really shout too. It's sooooo tempting to just bellow over the wall at them that if they scream again, I'll cut their legs off with a blunt axe before beating them over the head with the wet bleeding stumps.
Feckers.
Pete
The Guru
16-06-10, 02:25 PM
:smt044
Go for it.
Make sure you're not in uniform. Then you'll get away with it ;)
I hate kids, dirty, noisey little things.
I like getting them kicked out of the health club I go too.
The policy states no kids after 5pm, it never gets enforced until you moan about them.
The parents go into the gym and let their little unsupervised brats dive bomb the laned pool and run around screaming when people are trying to chill out and relax.....Grrrr
I feel your pain.
I have driven neighbours out in the past for similar.
Yes.
Should's a whole different argument.
The Word Patrol
Paul the 6th
16-06-10, 02:45 PM
8/10
davepreston
16-06-10, 02:52 PM
go round and slap the ma every time they **** you off
simples
dizzyblonde
16-06-10, 02:57 PM
Have you been working nights??....if so, you have my blessing to go round and gaffer them each to a table leg, and, masking tape their mouths shut.
barwel1992
16-06-10, 03:00 PM
just go round in uniform as say we have had complaints of your kids disturbing the surrounding houses, and threaten them with some notice or other
gerbrox
16-06-10, 03:01 PM
GIve them money to run away, worked in the past.
Luckypants
16-06-10, 03:02 PM
Make sure you're in uniform. Then you'll get away with it ;)
Corrected. Special rules apply :D
Love you BP x x x
Specialone
16-06-10, 03:46 PM
Phone child protection and say you think the kids are being abused cos of all the screaming, they WILL go round and investigate unless its bham whereas they will just leave them to be abused and eventually murdered.
awwwe, bless the little angels. your just a grumpy old git BP for even considering it.
I am now going to blame you because a similar horrible noise is going from a child further down the train...
Phone child protection and say you think the kids are being abused cos of all the screaming, they WILL go round and investigate unless its bham whereas they will just leave them to be abused and eventually murdered.
:smt044:smt044:smt044:smt044
Leave an old pitbike on their doorstep then Section 59 them when they fire it up
Jamesy D
16-06-10, 05:13 PM
Little kids are horrible things. I dread the day I have to contend with one of them in a situation like this.
I'd say if the people next door don't really know you or what you do, pitch up in uniform and talk about noise pollution and quote some legislation at them. Chances are they won't have a clue what you're on about and might do something.
If they know you, ask a couple of friends (who are in the Job) to pay them a visit at a quiet time on a beat.
Just be glad that worst comes to the worst, they should be off to school soon enough...
I'm going to set my daughter onto JamesyD;)
It would be kill or cure:D
Seggons
16-06-10, 05:43 PM
When your finished with them BP can you come round here and start again? The kids seem to think the cars are parked here for goal posts and running into your garage door at 100mph with a massive bang is all part of a game.
missyburd
16-06-10, 05:54 PM
Got a cellar?
I'll get my coat.... :-P Seriously though, I would definitely tell them off. Spoilt little brats.
Jamesy D
16-06-10, 05:57 PM
I'm going to set my daughter onto JamesyD;)
It would be kill or cure:D
Not exactly certain how to respond to this! Cure her or cure me? :p
Got a cellar?
Yeah,
You get used to the screaming when you have Maddie downstairs...
Biker Biggles
16-06-10, 07:34 PM
Leave an old pitbike on their doorstep then Section 59 them when they fire it up
You beat me to it this time.:D
-Ralph-
16-06-10, 07:37 PM
Got a cellar?
Yeah,
You get used to the screaming when you have Maddie downstairs...
Currently posting from a metal platform in the North Sea
No wonder they can't find her. She's doing well to still be screaming I'd say.
In seriousness, why is it so many bikers hate kids?
just for you Pete :0)
http://img532.imageshack.us/img532/1450/taser.jpg
No wonder they can't find her. She's doing well to still be screaming I'd say.
Thanks for pointing out that I am actually back on the beach, I kinda forgot to change my sig!
I would also agree, shes done her fair share of screaming, she'll be doing well to keep it up!
dizzyblonde
16-06-10, 07:51 PM
In seriousness, why is it so many bikers hate kids?
Oh I love my kid and bump...I just hate everyone elses!!!
Jamesy D
16-06-10, 08:02 PM
In seriousness, why is it so many bikers hate kids?
Because we like a bit of peace and quiet. Why do you think we ride bikes, duuh? :p
-Ralph-
16-06-10, 08:05 PM
Because we like a bit of peace and quiet. Why do you think we ride bikes, duuh? :p
Exactly why I ride a bike too, so the more peace and quiet I want the more I ride the bike :cool:
Love kids the rest of the time though.
I've just taken out my Baffles after the MOT the other week...
when the neighbours kids get too loud now I simply go into the garage and start up my bike and check the temp gauge works ... 206 degrees F.... so I can check the oil level on the dry sump. :0)
can't hear the kids any more. job done.
ChrisSV
16-06-10, 08:19 PM
Feel free to kill them. then you can come round mine and kill the brat thats kept me awake every soddin day this week (im on nights, grrrrr) all i can hear is him banging and screaming, and a very loud tele. But when im playing music a bit loudish they have the cheek to come and ask me to turn it down (like this afternoon)
not a fan on kids personally
Dicky Ticker
16-06-10, 10:22 PM
I like kids but couldn't eat a whole one.
I would love to get one them noise thingys that only kids hear.
DarrenSV650S
16-06-10, 10:29 PM
We used to live next to a family with two girls years ago. They had a trampoline in the back garden and jumped on it all day, and screamed all day.
One saturday morning I was trying to sleep in, and they kept waking me up. Eventually I just snapped, opened the window and shouted really loud SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!
Nice and quiet after that :p
I like kids but couldn't eat a whole one.
I would love to get one them noise thingys that only kids hear.
http://www.compoundsecurity.co.uk/mini-mosquito
Cheaper than the sentence you might get Pete. ;)
dizzyblonde
17-06-10, 08:56 AM
I have the perfect answer......vuvuzelas......:-)
I have the perfect answer......:-)
tolerance!! because everyone who has complained was a perefct child who never played in the street and never yelled and was perfect in every sense;)
(paintball gun/catapult with red paintballs works well!)
Owenski
17-06-10, 09:09 AM
8/10 also,
Good use of visualisation of the hatred, perticularly liked the blackboard/cotton wool/kitkat (other fingered chocolates are available) section of the rant.
Cant you get some of your bobby mates to come and give them a "your been a noisey f'ker shut up or get fined" ticket?
timwilky
17-06-10, 09:21 AM
I want to kill the 20 year old lad next door, Won't somebody please tell him he cannot play the guitar. oh and to fix the volume control on his amplifier.
T'other side, I used to have a sweet old lady who would knock on my door with warm apple pies. She dies and a liverpool fan and his dum wife move in. Knock out a couple of sprogs, cut down apple trees to make room for a bloody huge garden trampoline and the noise that goes with it when 5 year olds get in there.
Still warming up the bike under their bedroom window at 6.00 lets them know I am partial to a bit of noise. So radio goes on in my garage whenever they let the kids out. They built a pond, sometimes I just wish......No mustn't go their with the trip wire.
My grandkids, I love them when they are not whinging. A delightful sound when they are playing.
Still the grumpy sod at the back of me shouted one morning when I fired the concrete mixer up at 7 am and started the wacker for my patio project. He complained I had woke him up. My response, well as your awake now, whats the problem. now f*** off I am too busy to listen to your carp".
just walk around with your ear plugs in :) also have a few late night world cup parties..that should wear the little ones out
Owenski
17-06-10, 09:26 AM
T'other side, I used to have a sweet old lady who would knock on my door with warm apple pies. She dies and a liverpool fan and his dum wife move in. Knock out a couple of sprogs, cut down apple trees to make room for a bloody huge garden trampoline and the noise that goes with it when 5 year olds get in there.
Exsactly what I dont want to happen with our neighbours. As much as the bloke next door is a miserable git, they're an older couple whose kids have long gone etc. So occasionally we get the grand kids round but I can handle that. Now thier house is up for sale an I'd dread it been sold to a noisy bunch with it been a semi attached to them.
To show how much you appriciate them why don't you buy them a couple of Alsations, then let them lock the Alsations in the garden where lots of cats and other things annoy them all day. Then you can experience the holy trinity of dogs, kids and aforementioned oxygen thief mother screaming at the above.
I think I keep Howard Leight in business with the amount of earplugs I get through.
Roberrrrt
17-06-10, 09:58 AM
On a similar note, I'm working from home today, some chavvy neighbour (can't work out exactly where the noise is coming from) is playing some god awful dance crap with the bass turned up.
Don't these people have jobs or what?
He'll be getting a size 11 Doc Marten to the dial in a minute... :smt076
Owenski
17-06-10, 10:01 AM
On a similar note, I'm working from home today, some chavvy neighbour (can't work out exactly where the noise is coming from) is playing some god awful dance crap with the bass turned up.
Don't these people have jobs or what?
He'll be getting a size 11 Doc Marten to the dial in a minute... :smt076
playing x-box then?
Roberrrrt
17-06-10, 10:07 AM
Actually not!
Owenski
17-06-10, 10:38 AM
Lies
hindle8907
17-06-10, 10:39 AM
Too right. kill the sods lol.
i know kids are kids but there is playing and then there is no control and if they are anything like the kids next door to my mothers house then i feel sorry for you especially with the hours you work.
I would have a word if is effecting your sleep ect ect
Roberrrrt
17-06-10, 10:43 AM
Lies
I'm working! Honest
The noise has stopped round my house now, they must be reading the forum :p
They've taken them down the pub as football is starting soon ;)
...cut their legs off with a blunt axe before beating them over the head with the wet bleeding stumps.
:-k....firm but fair, firm but fair.
Owenski
17-06-10, 12:35 PM
that was my favorite bit too.
barwel1992
17-06-10, 04:21 PM
:-k....firm but fair, firm but fair.
if he does that with kids, just imagine if he found some one from the Taliban :smt065
Biker Biggles
17-06-10, 04:49 PM
Just invite some urban foxes round and make sure their door is left open at night.
punyXpress
17-06-10, 09:57 PM
When you took the Queen's shilling, didn't you promise to do the deed & not ask some tinpot.org for permission?
You know where your duty lies.
Get at 'em!
Just invite some urban foxes round and make sure their door is left open at night.
I wish one of those would visit the neighbours garden. The f*cking dolebludging retard has taken to leaving his pet rabbit roaming his garden.
Not really a problem you would imagine, only it is driving our three dogs crackers, and one of our dogs scaled our five foot fence and got hold of one of his rabbits a few years ago, so he knows they are partial to a bit of bunny.
Now, me and the missus work, he doesn't so he has at least six hours a day to let the rabbit have the run of his garden, but it has been out in the garden from about three o'clock yesterday afternoon and still hasn't been put away yet (not even over night).
Please tell me if I am coming across as unreasonable.
.. Richie.. just dont read scoobs´s manual for how to operate that thing and you should be fine....
just for you Pete :0)
http://img532.imageshack.us/img532/1450/taser.jpg
I have the perfect answer......vuvuzelas......:-)
The kids in our house ALL have vuvuzelas.... the pain my ears feel is beyond description..:smt076 .... when are these games over with again????
Red Herring
19-06-10, 05:38 AM
Just record the noise they are making, and hopefully a really nice bit of mum letting lose to.....then play it back to them nice and loud, preferably when they have friends round.
Lets see if they have any shame.....
punyXpress
19-06-10, 09:47 AM
RH: that sort has no shame!
Kat1986
19-06-10, 01:29 PM
Go for it. When you're done, you can come and kill the two little c**ts that live next door to me if you like? And their parents too for that matter.
I would love to get one them noise thingys that only kids hear.
:winner:
*searches ebay*
yorkie_chris
19-06-10, 03:55 PM
I wish one of those would visit the neighbours garden. The f*cking dolebludging retard has taken to leaving his pet rabbit roaming his garden.
Not really a problem you would imagine, only it is driving our three dogs crackers, and one of our dogs scaled our five foot fence and got hold of one of his rabbits a few years ago, so he knows they are partial to a bit of bunny.
Now, me and the missus work, he doesn't so he has at least six hours a day to let the rabbit have the run of his garden, but it has been out in the garden from about three o'clock yesterday afternoon and still hasn't been put away yet (not even over night).
Please tell me if I am coming across as unreasonable.
Blow the bugger in bits with a 12 bore and blame a fox with wind.
Blow the bugger in bits with a 12 bore and blame a fox with wind.
Oh, I'm considering it, the fecker has been out in the back garden since wednesday now and still hasn't been put back in its cage. I spoke to the neighbour about it, the rabbit has chewed through the hutch so I gave him some chicken wire and u tacks to fix it, which he did but still hasn't bothered to put it in its cage. Molly, our golden retriever is beside herself at the moment and has taken to vomiting all over the place because she is so worked up about it. Father inlaw is a deer stalker, think he might be popping over.
Specialone
19-06-10, 09:05 PM
Quick question, why is it the rabbits fault again?
Quick question, why is it the rabbits fault again?
You are quite right, it is not the rabbits fault, and it is the neighbours garden so he can do what he likes, but then I have asked him to put the rabbit away, and supplied him with materials to fix his hutch and he is imo now just being ignorant. It is causing distress to our dogs, it is no doubt anoying our other neighbours hearing our dogs barking constantly to try and get at the rabbit, and it is not good for the rabbits own health, being free to eat as much grass as it can which isn't a good thing for a rabbits stomach. If it were a wild rabbit it would have its warren to retreat to to keep out of the cold, the rain, and away from predators, this rabbit does not have the choice.
This is the replacement rabbit for the one that died recently of fly strike, as its teeth had grown too long for it to clean itself and he couldn't be bothered to keep getting its teeth clipped or clean the rabbits bottom himself.
Oh well, I am moving in about three weeks, so I won't have to put up with it, or the f'ing and blinding at his kids (was a lot worse before his wife turned lesbien and left him) standing outside in the middle of the street at one o'clock in the morning having telephone conversations that for some reason can not be conducted in the confines of his living room, parking flouresent livered box vans on my drive 10 foot from my kitchen window and making my kitchen look like it belongs in selafield when he has his own drive that could quite happily take three cars parked on it, hoovering at three o'clock in the morning etc etc . . . .
Specialone
20-06-10, 08:20 AM
You are quite right, it is not the rabbits fault, and it is the neighbours garden so he can do what he likes, but then I have asked him to put the rabbit away, and supplied him with materials to fix his hutch and he is imo now just being ignorant. It is causing distress to our dogs, it is no doubt anoying our other neighbours hearing our dogs barking constantly to try and get at the rabbit, and it is not good for the rabbits own health, being free to eat as much grass as it can which isn't a good thing for a rabbits stomach. If it were a wild rabbit it would have its warren to retreat to to keep out of the cold, the rain, and away from predators, this rabbit does not have the choice.
This is the replacement rabbit for the one that died recently of fly strike, as its teeth had grown too long for it to clean itself and he couldn't be bothered to keep getting its teeth clipped or clean the rabbits bottom himself.
Oh well, I am moving in about three weeks, so I won't have to put up with it, or the f'ing and blinding at his kids (was a lot worse before his wife turned lesbien and left him) standing outside in the middle of the street at one o'clock in the morning having telephone conversations that for some reason can not be conducted in the confines of his living room, parking flouresent livered box vans on my drive 10 foot from my kitchen window and making my kitchen look like it belongs in selafield when he has his own drive that could quite happily take three cars parked on it, hoovering at three o'clock in the morning etc etc . . . .
I do feel for you there mate, id wanna kill him not the rabbit, might be worth calling the rspca when you leave, they would at least pay him a visit and if the poor thing is being mistreated he will have it took off him.
Sounds like his kids need putting down as well, no wonder his wife now drinks from the furry cup, she couldnt stand it anymore.
Have you anyway local you can dispose of a body or two without being disturbed?
I do feel for you there mate, id wanna kill him not the rabbit, might be worth calling the rspca when you leave, they would at least pay him a visit and if the poor thing is being mistreated he will have it took off him.
Sounds like his kids need putting down as well, no wonder his wife now drinks from the furry cup, she couldnt stand it anymore.
Have you anyway local you can dispose of a body or two without being disturbed?
The rabbit issue has been resolved, after my missus left him a note on his front door. After it being left out for one more night and the subsequent bullsh*t conversation he had with my wife that went something along the lines of "I put the rabbit away when I got in last night and let it out again at 9 the next morning" and "thats bullsh*t, we were up at 7:30 and the rabbit was still out", so "Oh yeah, my mistake I let it out at 7 o'clock".
Anyway, my reason for replying to this read again is because of the conversation my neighbour has just had with his daughter.
Having had a couple of kittens removed from his house by the rspca a couple of years ago, they have just been given another kitten. The conversation I just overheard went, "If that cat sh*ts in the house again I'll kick it up the ar*e." "No you won't," replied his daughter "the last time you kicked the cat up the ar*e you f***ing killed it."
I guess the rspca will be getting a phone call.
Specialone
23-06-10, 08:30 PM
The rabbit issue has been resolved, after my missus left him a note on his front door. After it being left out for one more night and the subsequent bullsh*t conversation he had with my wife that went something along the lines of "I put the rabbit away when I got in last night and let it out again at 9 the next morning" and "thats bullsh*t, we were up at 7:30 and the rabbit was still out", so "Oh yeah, my mistake I let it out at 7 o'clock".
Anyway, my reason for replying to this read again is because of the conversation my neighbour has just had with his daughter.
Having had a couple of kittens removed from his house by the rspca a couple of years ago, they have just been given another kitten. The conversation I just overheard went, "If that cat sh*ts in the house again I'll kick it up the ar*e." "No you won't," replied his daughter "the last time you kicked the cat up the ar*e you f***ing killed it."
I guess the rspca will be getting a phone call.
Well he's a c**t and if i lived next door to him i would tell him that also along with some other stuff.
Sounds like the only one who needs a kick is him, shame you're not local, im good friends with a senior rspca inspector.
Bluepete
24-06-10, 07:00 PM
Oh for the love of all that is HOLY!
A feckin paddling pool has arrived :( :(
Would an extension cabe plugged in and chucked over the wall be considered a subtle hint?
Or shouldI just use the vuvuzela at 3.00am when I get back from work?
Pete
maviczap
24-06-10, 08:08 PM
Or shouldI just use the vuvuzela at 3.00am when I get back from work?
My first option :p
punyXpress
24-06-10, 08:13 PM
Pete: What do you do with those half-full ( half - empty ) pepper sprays?
Reckon I've found a use for them.
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