View Full Version : an orger in need
Probly the wrong place for this but there is a few like minded/experienced peeps on here. Just split with my girlfriend of 8 years and finding things err a little difficult. Still got my 3 little people to keep me going on but I've found my recent bimbles getting more and more "wreckless" shall we say. Advice please fellow riders, do I keep off the bike until I'm more centred or do I just try and remember its not just me? The problem is I love bimbling at a great rate of knots cos it frees away the cobwebs and stops me pitying myself. Peeps who have gone through this will know where I am coming from. Please don't be cruel, I need a friend.
A very sad sookie.:(
Sorry to hear about it mate.
Time is always a healer i guess so maybe a few weeks away from the bike wouldn't be a bad idea, especially if you are suggesting it yourself. :rolleyes:
Is it definitely your situation causing recklessness though?
Don't wanna bring people down but I found out I've been a bit of a blind monkey over the last few years and I feel useless. All the "what ifs" that usually run through my mind approaching a corner have just paled into insignificance recenty. A bit of "so bloody what" and that, you know what I mean? The toe scraping and knee sliding have been a more attractive feature and when I get home to the kids I think I've been a plonker again cos I might not be so lucky next time. Trying to keep the fact the kids need at least one parent in their lives at the forefrontof my mind is a wee bitty difficult when I love scaring myself so much.Again I'm sorry to all but ahm f***ed. Its the third time around for mae and the kids and I don't know how mush more I can take...sorry. I maybe need to phone the samaritans or summat.
Take a break dude.
If you must **** yourself up a bit, save up and do a track day or two instead, mistakes will not leave you wrapped round a lamp post or find a safer hobbie for a while.
Let time pass and sort your head out. Friends, family, whatever... try and let them take your mind off it.
Hope you make the right decision anyhow. :)
beabert
04-07-10, 11:19 PM
Your situation will be a hell of alot worse if you lose your health, sell it. As for cheering yourself up, dating again and or surrounding yourself with friends/people.
Shellywoozle
04-07-10, 11:26 PM
Sookie
I know exactly how you feel, I have been whedre you are as have most of us. I seem to keep revisiting this 'bad' place and dumped on from a great height and each time the "picking yourself up and dusting yourself off" takes longer and longer. I have no self worth and very little respect for myself which makes me the clown I am as it's all a big front.
You WILL in time feel better and eventually be happy, whether that be on your own or with a new partner.
I would suggest keeping off the bike for a while or if you do feel the need, make sure you go out with someone who can set the pace a little slower. The fact you are asking the question means you care about yourself.
PM me if you need a friendly chat ..... I can talk utter rubbish and I bet I can make you laugh !
Hugs hun xxxxxxx
Sounds good, thanx. I don't wanna become another statistic but I just love the control when riding, difficult to explain I suppose, but my future, my hands n that. Don't wanna think about the future further than the next few mins when going at speed. Tis funny really when I think about it, my first marraige ended cos I killed myself, sort of, on a bike. Code blue and all that shenanigans. I'll go away soon and cry. Again ahm sorry to all that may stumble across this bloody horrible post but thank you Binky, I need a friend and you have covered that post. May you live too long to die young n that. Forever in your debt.
sookie (the broken).
Sorry, loads of responses when I was typing. thank you one and all.
Reading the responses, god I lurve you peeps, er in a manly sort of way n that. Gotta stop listening to my smiths collection. GAWD I NEED A FRIEND. Sorry.
You seem to have a really sound understanding of what's going on in your head. You will be down for a while - that's normal, so don't think that you should be feeling wonderful, cos you shouldn't. You've just gotta ride it out and keep things under control until things start to brighten up - and this includes your bike.
Perhaps stick a picture of your kids on the inside of your screen.
Just been sitting here feeling sorry for myself and happened to look up at my desktop and sure enuff, a photo of my three wonderful little people, posing for the usual school photo. There's wisdome in your words ophic. Gotta keep on keepin on. Ahll probly chill out in a bit and get my feet back on the ground again just at the monent its all a bit squewiff if you know what I mean. I'll button up and get on with it and stop bringing you wunnerful peeps down. Sorry.
I'll button up and get on with it and stop bringing you wunnerful peeps down. Sorry.
No need to be sorry. And I'm sure I speak for the org when I say that we'll help in any way we can, and it absolutely doesn't bring us down. We all need help through the hard times.
BanannaMan
05-07-10, 03:03 AM
Hang in there mate!
Sure it's a rainy day now, but the sunshine always returns.
Life's going to be looking up just around the corner. :cool:
I'm the ex-nearly-step-dad of three kids who lost their real dad in a car crash (not his fault) when they were 4 months, nearly 2 and just gone 4. Reel it in mate, you wouldn't believe the damage you could cause their young minds if the worst should happen. My kids are now 17, nearly 19 and just gone 21 and they still have problems coping with their loss some days.
kellyjo
05-07-10, 06:43 AM
Hey hun,
Your kids need you and that will never change. Ive had some dark times in recent years, on my own with three, struggling to fulfill their basic needs, their dad playing emotional blackmail games with them and me trying to keep their little heads straight and happy.
Sometimes I have a physical need to get out on the bike, it really has become a full on addiction where nothing else will do, because it gives me a feeling of control when everything else seems to be spiralling out of my control, and sometimes as my confidence and ability has grown i find myself pushing my behaviour beyond what is sensible and 'safe' but i dont seem to be able to help myself. Even when i think of the kids to try and curb my speed the need for that extra little 'thrill' takes over, and buying a faster bike hasnt helped!!!
I guess im saying that i dont know whether you should stop riding for a while or not, i know for me it would make a dificult situation even more frustrating and hard but i do understand where you are coming from and why it affects your riding.
Whatever you do, love your kids and stay safe, the org will always be here, virtual friends maybe but friends indeed, and you can never have too many of those.
KJ xxxx
Looks like its catching! Maybe we should start a singles club?
It looks like I'm looking at "pastures new" this week too. And to perfectly match the cliche, its after 7 years.
C
Speedy Claire
05-07-10, 10:14 AM
Am really sorry for what you`re going thru right now Sooky... as everyone has said it will get better for you but obv you can`t see that right now. Whatever hurt you`re going thru it strikes me that there is still a sensible Sooky in there as you`re well aware of what could happen to you and I`d seriously suggest giving the bike a miss for a short while until your head is in a better place. I know this is blunt but your kids will be able to tolerate your head being a bit screwed up for a while but losing their dad who they love and rely on will screw them up big time and you can`t do that to them.
A virtual hug for both you and your kids and please... hang up the gloves for a short while until you`re coping with all this a bit better. Your kids have suffered a major loss in their lives already, they don`t need to be dealing with another one.
I truly hope you feel better soon and there will be happier times ahead. Take care of yourself x
SuzukiNess
05-07-10, 11:33 AM
massive hugs to you sookie.. hope you feeling better soon.
ness xx
hope you get back on your feet soon, as has been said time is the greatest healer.
remember, its always darkest just before dawn
sorry to hear your feeling so low sooky. I think it would possibly be best for you to put your bike away for a wee while and concentrate on your kids, they have also lost a parent figure and will be feeling a bit shakey too. A lot of people on here have been thru the wringer as far as relationships are involved and a lot of people will be able to offer you lots of advice etc. This place is like extended family and most people really do care about the other members. keep off the bike, on the forum and Im sure things will start to look brighter in the not too distant future. chin up x
Thanks for all the responses. Kids are bloody magical wee beasties when it comes down to it, "Are you gonna get us a new mummy again?", you gotta laff.
thanx and big man hugs and shoulder pats to all (including the female fraternity, i keep getting into trouble, lol)
sookie.
Warthog
05-07-10, 05:32 PM
Gotta stop listening to my smiths collection.
There's your problem :p.
Seriously dude, I went through a break-up 6 months ago, I know everything feels pointless and very sad, but just keep reminding yourself that time heals everything and in the future you will be the happiest guy ever. I am very pleased with how things have turned out now, so there will be good things to come!
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