Hello is this Mrs Newton....

[dizzyblonde]

I just picked up the phone to some person in a far away place asking for a Mrs Newton. Very quiet line,couldn't hear properly, put phone down.
Then they rang again, and I told them they had the wrong number.

They just rang back asking for me. The voice was familiar...oh yeah, you just asked for Mrs Newton, but they said they hadn't rung before!

Then they said they were from some service dept for Windows 7 and some bull about my computer generating some sort of technical problem for malware...still in a very distant voice.

I told them I did not wish to discuss my computer with complete strangers. 'But we aren't strangers' errrr I don't share my info about my computer with someone who could be in Timbucktooo.

They put the phone down. Do some people think you were born yesterday or what!!

[the_lone_wolf]

Fire up iTunes and see how many computer related songs you can get them to "hold" through

We got past 15 minutes...

[gruntygiggles]

"No, this isn't Mrs. Newton, but while I have you on the phone, can I interest you in some new software for your call centre? My company produces high end software for call centres, allowing you to realise maximum return on your investment. It will only take me 15-20 minutes to take you through the benefits of purchasing our new system from us...let me begin now..."

Trust me, they hang up every time.

[dizzyblonde]

LOL, I haven't ever had a call for this type of thing!
Its usually recorded messages like....hi this is a public announcement, or Hi this is SArah whatchamacallit!

[robh539]

"No, this isn't Mrs. Newton, but while I have you on the phone, can I interest you in some new software for your call centre? My company produces high end software for call centres, allowing you to realise maximum return on your investment. It will only take me 15-20 minutes to take you through the benefits of purchasing our new system from us...let me begin now..."

Trust me, they hang up every time.

hahaha that's awesome. perfect pitch :D

[SuzukiNess]

a work colleague's son got caught like this... thought his dad had logged a call for pc problems and they called while dad was at work and the son gave out the IP address on the pc and allowed them access... i know not what happened but it was a mad panic to contact banks etc to put a stop to any payments - the old geezer had a folder with passwords they accessed... so they walk among us..

[gruntygiggles]

hahaha that's awesome. perfect pitch :D

And the best bit....you can tailor to suit.

To Glevum windows a few months back...

"No, it's a rented property and has new windows and doors, but while you're on the phone, I have noticed there is quite a bit of background noise. Now, I don't want to complain about that, but I would like to help you out. A company like yours has to rely on the clarity of you and your colleagues in order to hit your targets and so I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you about new headphones and call system software that my company has developed. Our headphones cut out all background noise for the client, whilst still allowing you to communicate with your colleagues....."

Guess what, they hung up too.

I've tried selling the way of the Church of England to Jehovas Witnesses at the door (they don't bother me at all, just don't want to be told what I should believe, so turn the tables). They always make a very polite exit as I am always equally polite to them.

One of my personal favourites was a man that kep calling asking for a Mr. Johnson or something. After the 7th or 8th call, I said, "Look, you clearly want to get hold of this guy and while I am not him, I do run a company offering people finding softwares, can I just run through the basics for you? You can get an initial system trial for less than £100,000........."

The list goes on. I work at home, so I have fun with this stuff! :cool:

[embee]

Similar vein, I had a Jehova botherer and her little lad turn up as I was washing my car in the drive one day. After introduction she set her little lad (maybe 6yrs old) off on a speech. When he'd finished I then started a lecture to him how he mustn't trust all grown ups and what they tell him because it's sometimes just to get him on their side and it might be lies and they want him to do something which is wrong and .............

When his mother decided to intervene I gave her a long look and said "You started it." They left.

[Smudge]

Jehova isn't that another name for jesus, bloody hell they must be old to have witnessed that.