View Full Version : 4 wks to house hunting trip
And cold feet are setting in.
It has pretty much always been our intention to buy a property abroad when we retire, and see out our time in the sun. We made a decision last year to buy before we retire, and to holiday out there for a number of years to see if we liked the area we have chosen. If we don't, then we could sell and then buy somewhere else.
We've chosen where we want to be. Below is a typical property we fancy near Ostuni which is beautiful.
http://www.rightmove.co.uk/overseas-property/property-16445094.html
We love the people, the food, the culture, the weather and a multitude of other aspects to it all. We'd only be 4 hrs from family, and them from us.
So what's the problem?
Statistically I will pop my clogs before Barb, and the thought of leaving her alone miles from family, especially as her Italian is virtually non-existent, is really making me take a step back and think.
mmmm, I suppose I could retire out there by myself and leave her here.
lukemillar
11-09-10, 10:06 PM
You don't need to speak Italian. Just grow a moustache :wink:
9JhuOicPFZY
Seriously though, Carpe diem. Don't focus on the the "what might happen in X years". I'd be looking forward to enjoying whatever life you do have and if that means going to Italy, then go for it :thumbsup:
dont live your life with statistics. You dont know what is around the corner. If she is happy to go then it would be silly to decide against it because of what ifs. If you do pop your clogs and she is not happy, she can always come home. go for it
property looks lovely
dont live your life with statistics. You dont know what is around the corner. If she is happy to go then it would be silly to decide against it because of what ifs. If you do pop your clogs and she is not happy, she can always come home. go for it
property looks lovely
got to agree with kitkat - don't live your life for what ifs its short enough as it is without sticking stuff on hold go for it
Its only natural to have misgivings and do a re-think if you didnt then you wouldnt be human.
Living out there or taking holidays will improve her language skills, and as you said it is only 4 hours back to family and friends.
It is a big step but you are taking it one step at a time in quite frankly a really sensible method.
Dont worry too much about what could happen, between now and then is a lot of life, and a lot of good times ahead in your new house.
:grouphug:
Luke-Mac
12-09-10, 10:40 PM
12,000sqm of land!
pretty immense campsite that would make for an Italian AR =P
Back to the thread...having misgivings is completely natural and shows that you are thinking things through properly and not jumping into something you aren't prepared for, having said that KitKat is right, life is too short to not do something because something else COULD happen!
Find a fab place, enjoy the rest of your lives together!
Dicky Ticker
13-09-10, 07:53 AM
Being a bit nearer the three score years and ten than yourself Bri I can see full well where you are coming from and probably something the younger members don't consider. Medical,[I can't get private insurance]travel and family are my constricting factors.
As an alternative I have looked at winter renting of a villa [3 months] which will give you a good idea if its really what you want,maybe worth considering before committing to the final plunge. This would let you know how the pair of you would get on with the locals,language and missing the family ------ A BIG STEP to up sticks and move when you have so much to loose,things that you take for granted suddenly become important. Only you can decide and good luck with the turmoil of the decision
maviczap
13-09-10, 08:14 AM
At least its not the other side of the world, like my sister tried twice an came back both times
My bosses mum and dad spent the winters in Spain, but came back to the UK in summer, so best of both worlds.
I'd try before I'd buy, so renting isn't a bad idea.
Learn the lingo is all I'd say.
Its a big move, but at least its only a short flight away
gruntygiggles
13-09-10, 08:26 AM
Bri, the reason you can take a step forward with Barb into this new part of your life is right there in your OP. Your family. They will be 4 hours away and there in a flash when needed, as you would be back here in a flash if and when they need you. My parents have talked a lot about the very same thing and TBH, the only thing I have asked them to consider is the kind of care they will recieve if a time comes that they are no longer able to care fully for themselves. For instance, if they are a 20 minute drive out of town, how does the local authority support you if you cannot drive for supplies due to ill health or injury. What services are in place for the elderly and so on.
We came to an agreement that if my sister and I agree that it is no longer in their best interests to be where they are, they will come home, but that my sister and I will first do whatever we can to ensure that they get to stay where they want to be. It basically comes down to...if they are not able to get proper care or one or both is left with not enough support day to day, they will come home. We have also discussed coming home if they ever need to and they will buy a little bungalow before they go and rent it out, but have it there to come back to if needed.
It's just a case of thinking about what you need to plan for in the long term future, putting plans in place and talking to your family about them, so that when they happen, they will be sorted out and then, putting that to the back of your mind and going out there to enjoy the life you've both been dreaming of.
The borders aren't closed when you leave Bri...you can always come back. :-)
Speedy Claire
13-09-10, 08:56 AM
I can see where you`re coming from Bri and I can fully understand your concerns re. Barbara. One thing my job has taught me though is that you never know what`s round the corner so don`t be too quick to assume that you will be the first to go.
It would be sensible to consider healthcare - the availability and affordability of it. I would imagine that Italy being in the EU you would be entitled to a certain level of free healthcare but how far would this go? would it only cover basic healthcare? you would have to think about the fact that should you ever be in need of long term or critical care you may require some sort of health insurance to cover any shortfall.
One benefit of Italy is that you can claim your UK state pension there, and it can be paid into an Italian bank account but I remember hearing somewhere that if you own any assets in Italy such as a property you should be aware that when you die these assets will not necessarily pass to the person you assume is your next of kin. They have different laws and rules of succession in Italy so you would need to consult a lawyer re that.
My gut feeling is to say "go for it". If this has been your dream then dreams should be followed. Just look into all the potential pitfalls, sort them out then go make your dream a reality.
Good luck x
-Ralph-
13-09-10, 09:46 AM
I'm assuming that you have finished paying your mortgage and will be buying this outright, either with saved funds or by selling your house here? Do you have enough to fund a ground floor flat or small bungalow here as well which you could rent out as something for her to return to? Either way if buying the house in Italy outright you will leave your wife sufficiently funded to sell up and return to the UK if you pop your clogs, again assuming that you have offspring that will help her with it all if she is getting on a bit by then.
As for medical, your main worry there is the language and understanding a diagnosis, etc, though you'll probably find most doctors speak good English. Once you are within 30 months of receiving your UK state pension you may be entitled to full permanent healthcare in Italy under the European Health Insurance Scheme (new EHIC card is a replacement for the old E111, but if you've retired it can be permanent, not just for short-term travel) and you don't need private health insurance any more than you do living in this country. Never been to a hospital in Italy, but the health service in most European countries is equivalent to a private hospital here. When my French brother in law had to be treated in an NHS hospital over here he said he felt like he'd been put in a time machine and taken back to a WW2 field hospital (Falkirk Royal Infirmary is pretty old, still has wooden benches in reception, wood panelled walls, and they still have folk hopping around on wooden crutches).
Just look into all the potential pitfalls, sort them out then go make your dream a reality.
+1, my old man died at 52. One weekend we had rented a truck and moved house involving a four bed house worth of furniture between the two of us and he seemed perfectly fit, the next weekend he was ill in hospital, the next weekend he was dead.
Speak to others that have done the same thing in the area that you are moving to, the ex-pat forums are full of helpful and knowledgeable folk who are only happy to share their own experiences.
Bri - go. Stop worrying and go, JFDI. Life's too short and as Claire says, you never know what's round that corner. You're not going that far, it''s only a short flight back to the UK.
Plan your move carefully. We moved house over the weekend, about half a mile up the road, and I cant find anything:D
timwilky
13-09-10, 12:02 PM
Life expectancy and health are certainly concerns.
I too have looked at buying a second home in the sun. But as Lynne cannot get even travel insurance with all sorts of complaints excluded getting private insurance overseas would be near on impossible.
Age difference whilst not an issue is one as you get older. My dad was 70 when he died, his wife 52. The real issue for her was his private pensions ceased on his death. So she ended up having to go back to work having retired age 40. Yes he left her very comfortable but as investments over the past few years have not exactly been paying out she needs to be able to fund her 4 months a year in New Zealand at the other house.
IMO you should DO IT and enjoy while you can (if you want to look at it that way). Try not to worry about the "what might happen" scenario's.
Perhaps build a budget on the side for bringing the family to you or to send you to the family should the need arise.
My folks live on the other side of the world (literally). There is a natural tendency to worry from time-to-time (esp when earthquakes pop-up out of nowhere). We have a contigency if the need arises, but outside of that, what will be will be.
Go ahead and do it Bri - you gut is teeling you to go. the others have provided good info to look at.
if you don't go and will always wonder why/what - then you should do it.
If we live by what if and could be's we would never do anything - esp biking. Life is just too short- so grab it by the short and curlies and at least try it. there's no shame in trying something and come back becuase you didn't like it.
guys, as ever many thanks for all the input.
Finance isn't an issue. There are several pension pots available to access at different times(when we decide) for both of us- Barb would be better off if I curled up my toes. And there is a very healthy bank balance with which we could buy a property out there without touching our UK assets. We have two houses in the UK, although two of our sons occupy one of them and will do so until they either move out of their own accord or one of them decides he wants to buy it.
Barb is my bestest pal, and the thought of putting her in harm's way at what would be a very painful time for her, assuming she doesn't really hate me, really cuts me up.
-Ralph-
13-09-10, 10:57 PM
the thought of leaving her alone miles from family, especially as her Italian is virtually non-existent, is really making me take a step back and think..
we could buy a property out there without touching our UK assets
Barb is my bestest pal, and the thought of putting her in harm's way at what would be a very painful time for her, assuming she doesn't really hate me, really cuts me up.
In which case if you pop your clogs she's never going to be stuck out there, she can hop on a flight and come home any time she wants. It's unlikely that you'll pop your clogs with absolutely no warning at all, so if you became seriously ill out there I'd imagine one of your sons would be on a flight out there anyway. Even if you popped your clogs suddenly, one of them could be out there to help her pack and escort her home within 12 hours.
What is she saying about it? She might tell you that you're worrying over nothing and that she is perfectly capable of getting herself home if she ever needs to.
It's fairly natural to get cold feet when contemplating buying a house and taking such a big step towards moving away from everything you've ever known. I think most people would be more concerned if you didn't have any worries!
What is she saying about it? She might tell you that you're worrying over nothing and that she is perfectly capable of getting herself home if she ever needs to.
Not voiced my concerns to her (too protectionist?), and knowing her she'd turn it on its head and ask me what I'd do if the roles were reversed. It wouldn't be a worry to me, and I wouldn't be rushing back to the UK. Home is where the heart is.
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