View Full Version : org cheer me up
davepreston
12-09-10, 08:33 PM
im sore, bored and iritable
this may work for tim wilky but its ****ing me off
so start posting things to cheer me up/ make me laugh
thanks
dave
garynortheast
12-09-10, 08:36 PM
You'll either laugh or cry at this....
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Wideboy
12-09-10, 08:37 PM
im sore, bored and iritable
this may work for tim wilky but its ****ing me off
so start posting things to cheer me up/ make me laugh
thanks
dave
what do you call a bird with 2 peenarses?
ndubz
Did you get your lever?? Didn't get a "I love Amanda" thread. Bloody men never satisfied .............
widepants
12-09-10, 08:45 PM
whilst traveling around northwales after the AR...I got over taken by a pushbike
Wideboy
12-09-10, 08:47 PM
why are pirates called pirates........ because they aaarrrrr!!!
Specialone
12-09-10, 08:49 PM
Why does it take 100 women with PMS to change a light bulb?
IT JUST FECKING DOES OK !!!
Wideboy
12-09-10, 08:52 PM
why does mr T have to say about the BP oil leak?
he pittys the fuel
widepants
12-09-10, 08:53 PM
why is it I always know how fast Im going...unless of course I get stopped by ze law
davepreston
12-09-10, 08:53 PM
You'll either laugh or cry at this....
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
crying
what do you call a bird with 2 peenarses?
ndubz
true
Did you get your lever?? Didn't get a "I love Amanda" thread. Bloody men never satisfied .............
you got a wuv u message on facebook tho
see 2nd post ," i cant get no"
whilst traveling around northwales after the AR...I got over taken by a pushbike
hahahahahahahaha mint
why are pirates called pirates........ because they aaarrrrr!!!
3 out of 10 more effort required
Wideboy
12-09-10, 08:54 PM
how do you turn a duck in to a soul singer?
stick it in the microwave till its bill withers
http://img844.imageshack.us/img844/7327/1708015.jpg
minimorecambe
12-09-10, 08:58 PM
The other morning I took a pair of underwear out of the drawer. "What the hell?" I said to myself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when I shook them out. "April," I hollered into the bathroom, "why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?" She shot back: "It's not talcum powder. It's 'Miracle Grow'."
This guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?"
The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."
The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?"
The guy says "I mount animals."
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.
After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"That is right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked.
"Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer. "Correct," replied the shady doctor.
Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"
"Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI4xVeRjunk
tactcom7
12-09-10, 09:04 PM
Dave if u want cheering up go to my last day in the RAF thread page 1 and see me dressed as a gay bobslayer/brittney spears...
davepreston
12-09-10, 09:11 PM
yea seen it earlier ,how many numbers did ya get with that outfit
tactcom7
12-09-10, 09:19 PM
None funnily enough. Got in a few fights though, god knows why, some men just seemed to take offence. I have a habbit of wandering off drunk and probably looked a bit odd by myself...
Jayneflakes
12-09-10, 10:17 PM
Have a big hug from me, I am good at cheering people up, I listen to them, I give them a shoulder to cry on, I make them a cuppa and give them a biscuit, I let them feel safe to say what they fear saying and if that fails to cheer them up, I show them my **** (http://www.rspb.org.uk/wildlife/birdguide/name/b/bluetit/index.aspx)! Works every time...
;-)
tactcom7
12-09-10, 10:24 PM
Err I need cheering up too, and I don't like tea or biscuits! :)
xXBADGERXx
12-09-10, 11:25 PM
I got 3 points and a £60 fine today if that cheers you up ........ 89 mph average up Rhuallt Hill with a Pillion ....... Fair Cop Guvnah.
BigBaddad
13-09-10, 06:15 AM
http://www.waynejohn.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/funny0472.jpg
BigBaddad
13-09-10, 06:17 AM
http://www.icseguess.com/uploads/images/funny-picture-1475818506.jpg
timwilky
13-09-10, 06:53 AM
Oi Preston, So you are sore bored and irritable. Whats up you only getting gay porn on your internet?
Is this a pathetic excuse for a "Please somebody take me for a beer thread"?
If so, give us a bell. If not keep whinging, you will get to enjoy it. and turn off the gay porn or you will go blind as well.
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