Too young, too soon.

[missyburd]

Last night I had an old friend from uni ring me and have to break the news about the death of one of my old housemates. He was in the year below me at uni and one of the jolliest Welshmen I'd ever come across. So funny, enthusiastic and good with people, so genuine with it as well.

He was diagnosed with nose cancer a few months ago but it was supposed to have cleared. The last week he complained of a pain in his neck and the doctors thought it was muscular, but the cancer was spreading and whacked his central nervous system. He was said to have felt no pain at the time but it must have been so awful for him :-(

The reason I'm telling you this is because it really brought home for me (as most close deaths do) of how special life is. Owain was only young and although I know cancer takes people of all ages, when it's someone so close it does really hit home.

What's worse for me is since I left uni over a year ago I've barely spoken to the chap, as so often happens when students finish. I'd sent him the odd text but in the last few months I had no idea what he was going through. Don't leave things till the last minute folks and really make the most of the good friends you've made.

Rest in peace Owain pal.

[missyburd]

Yesterday really was one of those days, everything seemed to be going wrong. First thing in the morning I had the news that the job I had gone for an interview for (some of you may have read the thread) I didn't get, and although that was a blow, I realise that it must have been meant to be in order for me to attend the toast in Aber next weekend (trying to get time off in a new job wouldn't be ideal). Also the job wasn't one Ihad my heart set on so it was just all good experience.

Then in the afternoon YC left a full fuel tank on the utility room floor next to the garage, and while he was out the fuel tap got apparently knocked so it dumped over a gallon of fuel onto the floor, stunk the house out and made us all feel a bit rough!

Then we had booked an assessment at a bike school in leeds for me to have my riding looked at to see how much instructing I'd need in prep for the test. Rode 20 miles, me on my YBR and YC on his SV in the pouring rain to get there and find out there had been a breakdown in communications and it was meant to be the day before :rolleyes: Then as were were about to leave the heavens opened and it monsooned it down for the 20 miles back home.

Then a few more little things to rub salt in the wounds to be rounded off with the worst kind of phonecall. I really hope today is going to be better.

[Speedy Claire]

You`ve had a really rough time Maria... all those smaller things wouldn`t feel half as bad right now if your day hadn`t ended on such an awful note. It sounds like you`ve put the smaller things into perspective, you realise that the job probs wasn`t meant for you and there`ll be another job waiting that will be even better. The assessment, okay so a mistake was made but you were going to have your skills assessed and it sounds to me that you will have gained a lot of experience just on the ride there and back.... you`ve had experience at riding in bad weather conditions which will turn out to be valuable to you and you`ve also got another 40 miles riding experience under your belt.

I am so very sorry to hear about your friend, it is such a tragic loss of life at such a young age. My heart goes out to his parents and all his friends. Face, throat and neck cancers are really on the increase this last couple of years and though it`s no comfort his death will highlight the importance of having every blemish, ache or pain checked out and it may spare somebody else from this awful disease.

Take it easy hun and I hope you feel better soon x

[dizzyblonde]

:-(
I just rang, but you haz gone to work.

[Paul the 6th]

sorry to hear about this maria :( thoughts are with family & friends..

[johnnyrod]

There seems to be a whole wave and bad **** going down at the moment, am sorry to hear you've been caught up in it, it can only get better though from now

[Bri w]

Just awful news.

Thoughts with friends and family.

[gruntygiggles]

Awww Maria. Losing anyone is hard, but yes, when that person is still young, it is a tragic waste of a vibrant young life and it can be very hard to get your head around it. You can go through emotions of anger that that person has had their life cut short. You can find yourself being affected by injustices in the world and not understanding how someone so lovely could have something so horrible happen. You can feel guilty over not feeling you'd done enough for that person. I think it's really important to remember though that while we can do our best, we are all responsible for our own lives and ultimately, we don't always have time to be in contact with people as much as we have in the past or would in the future. That doesn't mean we haven't been good friends or family. It doesn't mean we didn't care and it doesn't mean we haven't been thinking about that person. It's a very good message you finished your post with, that life is too short and so make the most of the friends we've made. Just please don't feel any guilt for not having been in contact as much. Whilst ideally it would be wonderful to keep in close contact with everyone that we befriend and become close to, people move on and lives grow and develop. It is not a bad thing, just sometimes a sad thing, so please Maria don't feel guilty. It is very very hard to get your head around someone so young dying. It is just wrong. It is unfair and it is tragic. Just take all the support you can get and remember him as he was when you were with him last. The things that kill us are just the things that kill us, they do not define us. He was, by what you say a really lovely, happy chap, so remember that about him, not how he passed.

My thoughts are with his family and friends and with you Maria. It is a horrible horrible shock. Give yourself some time to absorb it.

Big cuddles from me and Dan xxx

[Dicky Ticker]

I can see the tears now,--------------a whole gallon of Chris's petrol---tragic:D


Trying to cheer you up

[missyburd]

thanks everyone, sound advice and support, really appreciate it xx

[minimorecambe]

Hugs to you xxx

[Milky Bar Kid]

Maria, I have just seen this thread, although I commented on FB. I am so sorry to hear of your loss, I know that nothing anyone says right now will make it any easier but we are all thinking of you.

Chin up chick xx

[Ruffy]

Such a sad story and I understand why you feel down and guilty.

Remember, though, that the good memories you describe are available for ever. They are the things to keep in mind now.

R.I.P. Owain

[Tara]

Thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs xxx

[embee]

Very sad.

A friend of mine in the bike club at uni was drowned at 21, I often wonder what would have become of him even now, some 34 years later. Remember your friend, it's what friends deserve.