sorry i knocked your bike over

[curvy custard]

So I get to work this morning and receive a text from my girlfriend. I'm sorry I've just reversed in to your bike and it rolled of the stand, but its ok I've picked it up and not damaged anything.
Get your guesses in now for what I'm gonna find broken when I get home. Its a curvy 650s

[Owenski]

Dunno about when you get home, but shortly after your GF does I imagine you'll find her nose is broken.

*Domestic violence is not a laughing matter, but thats just a matter of perspective. ;)

[collis]

mudguard, indicators, headlight bulbs, all body plastics, foot pegs and leavers on the side it fell on, mirror.
i cant think of anything else....

[Reeder]

Dunno about when you get home, but shortly after your GF does I imagine you'll find her nose is broken.

*Domestic violence is not a laughing matter, but thats just a matter of perspective. ;)

:shock:



:-k


:smt003


:crutches:

[Owenski]

Im selling a load of curvy plastics, so if any are damaged let me know.

I do you good price sir (said in best fake indian accent)

[N8te rider]

Oh no! Sorry, cant post actual thoughts on this :smt070

[Messie]

Dunno about when you get home, but shortly after your GF does I imagine you'll find her nose is broken.

*Domestic violence is not a laughing matter, but thats just a matter of perspective. ;)

Domestic violence is not a laughing matter - full stop.

Sick comment in my opinion

[Owenski]

The best humor is mildly offensive at its weakest. Family guy wouldnt be so succesful if people werent able to laugh at the distasteful/sick.

It was an attempt to ligthen the mood for the OP, I was going to post that Im impressed she managed to lift it up on her own but knew I'd get torn a new one for been a sexist pig. Even though I clearly cant be a sexest I've got female friends and everything!

[Owenski]

Oh no! Sorry, cant post actual thoughts on this :smt070

say what you want pal, its an open forum just keep it U rated ;)

[Quedos]

Messie beat me to it - don't normally rise but.... mildly offensive?? it ain't. Lighten the mood -with a lead ballon -not needed.

Anyway gear lever, mirror indicator and bent left side plastics!
and praise for lifting it up and not just leaving it there!

[cb1000rsteve]

Yeah broken nose was uncalled for. Tsk Tsk. you forgot legs, arms, fingers, toes with bolt cutters,

mirror, cracks to fairing, pegs and clip on

[Reeder]

Yeah broken nose was uncalled for. Tsk Tsk. you forgot legs, arms, fingers, toes with bolt cutters,

mirror, cracks to fairing, pegs and clip on

*watches with great interest*

[Owenski]

OMFG some people really need to get bloody laid.

Yeah broken nose was uncalled for. Tsk Tsk. you forgot legs, arms, fingers, toes with bolt cutters,

mirror, cracks to fairing, pegs and clip on

I was only assuming minor damage, but you're right if its seriously knackered then further suffering must be induced.
The clear alternative to violence is special trouser kisses, if she provides those then I think you'll agree, all will be forgiven.

[yorkie_chris]

Nothing wrong with a bit of :smt079 in retaliation for bike damage... only fair...

[cb1000rsteve]

Careful they may track us down and give us hippy hugs to curb our violent and sexual humourous thoughts

[Owenski]

dude! its not humourous - its sick! What would your mother say?

[yorkie_chris]

Dunno but my guess:

4:1 on a cracked panel around the indicator mounting hole and a black eye

[cb1000rsteve]

ouch i'm sorry i knocked your bike over!!!!!

[Owenski]

oh, no she wouldnt be able to speak.

Definetly a time to be bringing out the bounding and gagging equipment from that box under the bed.

Squeal little piggy!

[cb1000rsteve]

You only have a box under your bed. Amateur!!! We have dungeon

[Reeder]

oh, no she wouldnt be able to speak.

Definetly a time to be bringing out the bounding and gagging equipment from that box under the bed.

Squeal little piggy!

Kinky.

[benji106]

bent peg/brake pedal/ scuffed bar ends/mirrors/exhaust if you got standard front indicators I would definitely take YC's odds (providing you dont punch like a girl)

[Owenski]

You only have a box under your bed. Amateur!!! We have dungeon

you're my hero!
if you're ever selling the house that pain built will you let me know before it goes on the market.

[timwilky]

cannot be as bad as the wife who phoned me at work.

I knocked the end cap of the Volvo parked on the corner up the road. But it is OK the guy who owns it pushed it back on.

Oh, ok any damage to my car ?

No

Got home, new o/s Front door skin, rear door skin and rear quarter panel required.


I thought there was no damage to MY car,

There isn't

point out damage and get Oh!

How did it happen?

Well I didn't think I would get through the gap

So why did you try?

[Owenski]

but your wife's up and walking about again now isnt she, fully recovered?

That honestly must have been a huge facepalm moment.

[Quedos]

OMFG some people really need to get bloody laid.
.

and some people need to get more than sodding three years in nick for doing it in the first place.

[Reeder]

http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/1/12478/578268-facepalm1_super.jpg

[Owenski]

touche'

[Owenski]

http://www.lostrepublic.us/Graphics/DoubleFacePalm.jpg

[widepants]

http://cdn0.knowyourmeme.com/i/1655/original/omg.jpg?1241065072

[Owenski]

Lol, they;re not far off our own.

[andreis]

Sooo.. I guess since no one does it yet, I'm holding the bets on what's damaged and what not..
Lets start now. The house gets 10% on the bets, the rest is to be distributed amongst winners.

Bike :

Need of Repair YES NO
========================================
Side (it fell on)Fairing Panel 0 0
Side (it got hit)Fairing Panel 0 0
Side (IFO) Indicator 0 0
Side (IGH) Indicator 0 0
etc...

(Domestic violence part...)
Girlfriend:
Action taken YES NO
==========================================
Left (Face) Cheek Slapped 0 0
Right(Face) Cheek Slapped 0 0
Sexual Special Favor Required 0 0
etc...

[widepants]

Lol, they;re not far off our own.
them there prices will be for gallons:smt026

[benji106]

Sooo.. I guess since no one does it yet, I'm holding the bets on what's damaged and what not..
Lets start now. The house gets 10% on the bets, the rest is to be distributed amongst winners.

Bike :

Need of Repair YES NO
========================================
Side (it fell on)Fairing Panel 0 0
Side (it got hit)Fairing Panel 0 0
Side (IFO) Indicator 0 0
Side (IGH) Indicator 0 0
etc...

(Domestic violence part...)
Girlfriend:
Action taken YES NO
==========================================
Left (Face) Cheek Slapped 0 0
Right(Face) Cheek Slapped 0 0
Sexual Special Favor Required 0 0
etc...


Will you do me odds on an accumulator?

[Speedy Claire]

I`m totally impressed that your girlfriend was able to pick the bike up! That`s some going and I wouldn`t stand a chance of picking my bike up by myself.

PS: Hope the damage isn`t too bad :D

[yorkie_chris]

oh, no she wouldnt be able to speak.

Definetly a time to be bringing out the bounding and gagging equipment from that box under the bed.

Squeal little piggy!

Or the garage.
If silence is golden, why is duct tape silver :)

[hindle8907]

If not a broken nose you should at least strip her naked get her in the garden and soak her wet with a freezing cold hose for a good 40-50 minutes then make her walk shop for some beer and fags as a sorry.

[widepants]

Or the garage.
If silence is golden, why is duct tape silver :)
a certain person on here used to call it "duck" tape

[Messie]

One incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute.
2 women a week die as a result of domestic violence.

Real men do not abuse and control women http://www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp?section=0001000100100016&sectionTitle=Real+Man+Campaign

And the rate of reported violence done to men by women in the home is rising

[Viney]

One incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute.
2 women a week die as a result of domestic violence.

Real men do not abuse and control women http://www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp?section=0001000100100016&sectionTitle=Real+Man+Campaign

And the rate of reported violence done to men by women in the home is risingAgreed Messie my flower. Then again, there arent many real men around.

Also lets not forget that there are cases of women beating men up as well. This happened to a mate of mine. it took him years to admit what was happening, even though we had sort of guessed a little while before.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyway, back to the thread in hand

Hope the damage isnt too bad on the bike, if any. Check for the hidden stuff, like the lugs breaking off the fairings, and beant levers. At least she admited it, i know many a lady, and bloke for that matter thant would have put it back upright and not said a thing.

[dyzio]

Indicator, and indicator surround is likely, but it's also possible, that apart from a few scratches, the bike will be ok.

[Owenski]

them there prices will be for gallons:smt026
You really know how to hurt a person dont you.

a certain person on here used to call it "duck" tape
used too... I still do! where did the "t" come from? ;)

One incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute.
2 women a week die as a result of domestic violence.

Real men do not abuse and control women http://www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp?section=0001000100100016&sectionTitle=Real+Man+Campaign (http://www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp?section=0001000100100016&sectionTitle=Real+Man+Campaign)

And the rate of reported violence done to men by women in the home is rising

In my defence I only know of one case, and she kicked his ass!

We're all aware its a taboo subject same as rape its not to be taken lightly but so are death, disability and pedo'ness - yet those same subjects seem to be the backbone of some of the most off camber humour around.

bike :
Need of Repair YES NO
========================================
Side (it fell on)Fairing Panel 10/1
Side (it got hit)Fairing Panel 5/1 (unless she reverses like a nutcase then I'll take 2/1
Side (IFO) Indicator 1/1 defo damaged
Side (IGH) Indicator 10/1
etc...

(Domestic violence part...)
Girlfriend:
Action taken YES NO
==========================================
Left (Face) Cheek Slapped 2/1 we dont know if OP is left or right handed.
Right(Face) Cheek Slapped 2/1 we dont know if OP is left or right handed.
Sexual Special Favor Required 0/1 its a dead cert, the house wont publish any odds.

[dirtydog]

I think you can actually buy duck tape, sure I've seen it in B&Q

[yorkie_chris]

I think you can actually buy duck tape, sure I've seen it in B&Q

But is it as effective as the original stuff?

I call for some scientific tests to be carried out involving some samples of tape, the OPs missus, a decibel meter and either tickling or cattle prod (dependant on bike damage involved!)
The public needs to know!

[Owenski]

I see no fault with this proposal.

[N8te rider]

http://www.lostrepublic.us/Graphics/DoubleFacePalm.jpg

http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii212/N8terider/My%20SV%20K6/triplefacepalm.jpg?t=1286370016

[CheGuevara]

But is it as effective as the original stuff?

I call for some scientific tests to be carried out involving some samples of tape, the OPs missus, a decibel meter and either tickling or cattle prod (dependant on bike damage involved!)
The public needs to know!


Duck tape is the original:

"The first name for Duct Tape was DUCK. During World War II the U.S. Military needed a waterproof tape to keep the moisture out of ammunition cases. So, they enlisted the Johnson and Johnson Permacel Division to manufacture the tape. Because it was waterproof, everyone referred to it as “duck” tape (like water off a duck’s back). Military personnel discovered that the tape was good for lots more than keeping out water. They used it for Jeep repair, fixing stuff on their guns, strapping equipment to their clothing... the list is endless."

[yorkie_chris]

touche :)

[widepants]

touche :)
OWNED:smt079

[Owenski]

Its technically not an off topic debate.. the op may be needing some of the duc(select prefix of your choice) tape to repair his damaged beloved.

[benji106]

Its technically not an off topic debate.. the op may be needing some of the duc(select prefix of your choice) tape to repair his damaged beloved.

Suffix ;)

[Viney]

I think you can actually buy duck tape, sure I've seen it in B&QYou can. It has a picture of a duck on it, funny enough

[Owenski]

Suffix ;)

just testing
(as all teh teachers used to say)

[Viney]

You can also get Duct Tape. Its used for taping up Air con type Ducting, funny enough.

[BigBaddad]

What will be broken when you get home?

All the taboos in the bedroom, would be my guess.

[benji106]

What will be broken when you get home?

All the taboos in the bedroom, would be my guess.

and in the kitchen, on the stairs etc etc

[BigBaddad]

and in the kitchen, on the stairs etc etc

Oh, hello Mrs Brown.

[curvy custard]

Had so much fun reading this thread that ive forgoton why i was reading it, oh yeah my misses knocked my bike over:smt011. Heres the result you've all been waiting for. drum roll............ Nothing.

Thats right nothing is broken. mirror was folded in with a few light scratches, indicator left a bit of black on the fairing but that rubbed off, bar end lost a little paint and thats it. but my suberb £3.99 flimsy silver bike cover from lidls has got a hole in it, and for that she will pay. the ducK tape is out and im looking forward to it, because shes my girlfriend so i own her and i can do what i like to her.:D

I just hope my luck goes with me when i buy my lottery ticket on friday

[fenjer]

I really want to ask why the bike was parked where she could reverse into it...

And as a few others have said kudos to her for owning up to it and for lifting it back up. I'd probably have had to leave it there and then may or may not have blamed someone else....

I hope for your sake she never finds this thread, or more than the bike would be getting reversed over. :shock:

[yorkie_chris]

the ducK tape is out and im looking forward to it,

Is that for her... or to fix the bike cover?

[BigBaddad]

I really want to ask why the bike was parked where she could reverse into it.

probably locked up in the shed.

[dyzio]

I really want to ask why the bike was parked where she could reverse into it...



What's wrong with perfectly legal, next to the kerb? Ring any bells?

[fenjer]

could be Dyzio...

I didnt imagine someone would leave their pride and joy at the kerb while they were going to be out at work all day. But I guess it could be possible.

It could have been at the back of the garage or drive I suppose.

[yorkie_chris]

Ey don't be asking awkward questions... he's already got the tape out...

[curvy custard]

I live down a quiet road so leave it out the front of house on the road, under a cover with a big f off lock on it. But after this incident and the lack of use due to crap whether I need to make some room in the garden. Ill take this one as a warning and learn from my mistakes

[barwel1992]

I really want to ask why the bike was parked where she could reverse into it...


in the kitchen :smt002

[CheGuevara]

You can also get Duct Tape. Its used for taping up Air con type Ducting, funny enough.

Although it's completely different from Duck/"duct" tape which is useless for sealing ducting, as well as illegal for that purpose in some places.

[dizzyblonde]

I think you can actually buy duck tape, sure I've seen it in B&Q


http://geekhack.org/attachment.php?attachmentid=8730&stc=1&d=1269658061

[missyburd]

Nothing wrong with a bit of :smt079 in retaliation for bike damage... only fair...

#goes down to the garage armed with a sponge, soapy water and a silencer#



:D

[Amanda]

** This thread is useless without pictures ** The End

[dizzyblonde]

#goes down to the garage armed with a sponge, soapy water and a silencer#



:D

I'll come down tomorrow, you pin him down, and I'll wrap him up in WHITE duck tape!

[DarrenSV650S]

Glad your bike is ok. Lucky escape!


Can't believe the amount of knicker twisting caused by the mention of a broken nose. Some sexist knickers methinks ;)

[metalangel]

in the kitchen :smt002

Only my bike gets to go in the kitchen :p

[Orpheus]

You can also get Duct Tape. Its used for taping up Air con type Ducting, funny enough.


Sellotape is also available. Im not sure what a sello is, or why one would need to be taped.

[Milky Bar Kid]

This thread has made me giggle. It is the most awesome, random, humorous thread I have read for a while! Love it!

[speedplay]

Domestic violence is not the best course of action.



Drag her into the street so everyone can see it.










It's a public forum guys, sick and wrong it may be but it's just a forum.
You can tell winters nearly here and people are getting cabin fever already.

[andreis]

** This thread is useless without pictures ** The End

As far as I recall, this is still an U rated site.. But maybe we'll get to see it on tape? ;)

[blue curvy jester]

Sellotape is also available. Im not sure what a sello is, or why one would need to be taped.

americanism for Cellulose tape

also known as durex tape in Aus!!!!

[Reeder]

Condom tape?

[barwel1992]

Condom tape?

do you have to apply your own glue :lol:

[metalangel]

americanism for Cellulose tape


Americans and Canadians call it 'scotch tape', because the Scotch company (that's their name, they also made videotapes and floppy disks) made it. 'Sellotape' is British. Wiki it if you want.