Dirrerent showering methods for men and women

[Specialone]

How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to
lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice
stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo'
sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and
laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum,
leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohican.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the
whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to
bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the
'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

[Dicky Ticker]

I have to repeatedly tell my wife off for doing handstands in the shower--you missed that bit out

[Specialone]

I have to repeatedly tell my wife off for doing handstands in the shower--you missed that bit out
DT, feel free to update it :p
I wouldnt mind watching my wife trying to do headstand in the shower, that would be funny :)

[Messie]

What of you were in there with her?

[gruntygiggles]

Haha, not me and Dan...lol.

In our house we both just undress and wander to the shower naked, stopping on the way to look in the mirror. I'll say, "oooh, that bit wobbles" but not really care. Dan will say, "Hey good lookin'". We'll shower in the least amount of time. He just uses bodywash, I only shampoo hair once and condition quickly. We both (when we remember) spray shower shine before getting out, drying off and flinging the towels over the radiators and then wander naked back into the bedroom to get dressed. If we see eachother with any body parts exposed, we usually shake it, wiggle it or slap it and run away before the other gets the chance to slap it too!

Good job we have en-suite eh! ;-)

[Quedos]

aye right - living on me own. Wanders across hall half asleep turns shower on turn radio on dumps t shirt/clothes on floor gets in turn heat up, singing for ages, bang on the wall to annoy next door(hehehe)
wash hair leave on conditioner ( in obligatory shower cap) wash the rest of me rinse conditioner get out leaving clothes on floor partially dry head back to bedroom and air dry reading a book or listening to music. once dry change then go and pick the debris behind me - if you are lucky!

[Viney]

Me, turn on shower, get undressed whilst it heats up, get it, make self wet, then showergel on sponge then left arm, right arm, chest and neck, lower back, as mush of upper back as possible, left leg and foot right leg and foot, front bits back bits, rinse, wash hair, stand and turn heat up a bit more for a minute or so, get out dry off get dressed go up pub!

[Stu]

What? Nobody else still showers together then?






Young love is great :D

[gruntygiggles]

Ah, showering together is not something that can be talked about on a U rated forum ;-)

[lily]

you missed out the standing in the bathroom talking to your other half while they are in the shower

or if in a mischievous mood tipping a pint of cold water over the top of the shower without the other noticing you doing it! ;)

[Quedos]

Trust you L!!!
Mine done that on holiday turned the hot water tap on! Git!

[Owenski]

You missed the bit where women remember to take a towel to the shower, and men have to walk dripping wet over to get one once they've finished.

Everytime I do that Im more annoyed with myself than the misses is, just cos its so bloody cold in our house.

[warrenhewitt10]

loved that, brilliant lol

[Viney]

What? Nobody else still showers together then?






Young love is great :DIta but hard on your own...no hang on,t hat dont sound right. :smt104:mrgreen:

[dill89]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qehxjub5lyo

[davepreston]

wake up with mouth like badgers den, still half asleep walk towards shower avoiding bio hazard last night kabab, start stipping off intregingly sticky cloths from night before, put shower on and stick mouth under water to begin rehydration of said orifis, put full body in, sit down to stop house spining, squeese gel omto head later to relise its shaving gel, half heartedly try to remove various ink stamp marks from asorted nightclubs off hands and random birds number from body mentaly noting where number was written to grade enjoyment off previous night, fall back asleep, wake up with a start as waters freezing due to using all hot water, crawl dripping wet towards room, use clean clothes to half ass dry yourself as cant be arsed to find a towel , drink pint off water you brough up last night but forgot about, light cig, remount bed , crawl back under duvet turning pillow onto cold side, put cig out cos feeling sick, close eyes repeating the mantra " i'll be fine after a few more hours sleep" ,one final check for any useable sick retaining vesle in close proximity just in case,
die