View Full Version : Slap my Ham...
gruntygiggles
11-11-10, 10:33 PM
Publishers wanted me to cook a ham on the bone to get better pictures so that they can use them for promotional work. They said, "give us a list of local butchers, we'll order and pay and tell you where to pick it up, let us know what other costs we need to cover".
I went today to collect this monster! 12.5 Kilos
Tomorrow I shall be calling my publisher and telling them that indeed they do have additional costs to cover as I cannot fit it in any stock pots or roasting tins I have. As an idea, I can fit 4 large whole chickens in the roasting pan in the picture!!!
http://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll318/gruntygiggles/Food/DSCF2807.jpg
http://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll318/gruntygiggles/Food/DSCF2808.jpg
http://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll318/gruntygiggles/Food/DSCF2810.jpg
So...as myself, Dan and Squirrel_Hunter already have...who wants to slap it...HARD!
I shall be cooking it this Sunday...wish me luck!
Publishers not heard of camera zoom? Just cook a little ham! :)
Fook me thats a lot of meat.....I'll be round sunday for a roast! :D
metalmonkey
11-11-10, 10:59 PM
Thats huge! I bet it will taste amazing:cool:
CheGuevara
11-11-10, 11:00 PM
Publishers not heard of camera zoom? Just cook a little ham! :)
Indeed. Cut that one up and freeze it. Go buy a much smaller, but similar quality ham, and cook that.
Sid Squid
11-11-10, 11:02 PM
There are 1206 active users - that should feed us all!
What time should we come round on Sunday?
gruntygiggles
11-11-10, 11:03 PM
Nope, I can't wait to cook this. I will be taking some of the meat off it for the freezer, but only so that I can expose and trim the bone a little and take away the excess.
It's going to be a monster, but it will feed us for the next 2 weeks AS WELL as feeding a fair few people this Sunday!
CheGuevara
11-11-10, 11:05 PM
Please don't post the cooked pics until after 5pm when I'm on my way home and have dinner in sight :)
_Stretchie_
11-11-10, 11:09 PM
Fook me thats a lot of meat.....
Thank you
gruntygiggles
11-11-10, 11:11 PM
Please don't post the cooked pics until after 5pm when I'm on my way home and have dinner in sight :)
I'll post them Sunday night. ;-)
I bet when the publishers called the butcher saying they wanted pork on the bone the butcher saw ££££££££
I can only suggest one thing for that... SLAP it HARD and Spit Roast it.
Lottsa tatties, apple sauce honey roast parsnips (how the hell do you do them properly anyway?) etc etc.
Im really upset I live so far away :(
I do love the fridge though, Ham and beer.
gruntygiggles
12-11-10, 11:41 AM
I bet when the publishers called the butcher saying they wanted pork on the bone the butcher saw ££££££££
I can only suggest one thing for that... SLAP it HARD and Spit Roast it.
Lottsa tatties, apple sauce honey roast parsnips (how the hell do you do them properly anyway?) etc etc.
How do you honey roast parsnips? Most people get problems with the thin end burning before the thick end has cooked through. The solution is simple...wrap a little foil around the thin end to the half way up the root for the first half of cooking, then remove the foil to let it brown up evenly with the thick end. Also...I usually add the honey half way through cooking as well as it can burn so easily.
This ham will be cooked with roasted fennel and root veg, roasted tatties and a red wine gravy with a warm savoy salad on the side :-)
Then it will continue to feed me, Dan and Steve for the next month probably!
Im really upset I live so far away :(
I do love the fridge though, Ham and beer.
We have our priorities right in this house! ;-)
hmmmm beats the pizza. What time do you want me Cheryl - i'll bring the booze!!!
Drew Carey
12-11-10, 01:46 PM
Why do you do this to me.....you know I am one of your number one fans when it comes to food....hence why I normally clean up after meals as a thanks.......but......
Its like visual torture when you do these posts. Your so mean. :-(
gruntygiggles
12-11-10, 01:50 PM
Why do you do this to me.....you know I am one of your number one fans when it comes to food....hence why I normally clean up after meals as a thanks.......but......
Its like visual torture when you do these posts. Your so mean. :-(
But I do also post the recipes so that you can all go cook them yourselves :-)
Oh, and Mwah x
I'd love to see the recipie for this...
Ingreadients
1x 25lb lump or pork on the bone,
1x industrial sized oven
1x industrial sized baking tray
lets face it, the average oven will be far too small for that lump of meat.
gruntygiggles
12-11-10, 02:07 PM
Nah, i've got average sized ovens...it'll shrink down a little during boiling. Actually...it's the boiling of it that will be the challenge!
cani come for dinner please i shall bring me son with me too!
timwilky
12-11-10, 02:51 PM
For the boiling, would a large salmon kettle not fit it?
PM me your address, I will be down to help you dispose of it.
ThEGr33k
12-11-10, 02:58 PM
It makes you wonder just how big the pig was that that came off of!!!! :confused:
There are 1206 active users - that should feed us all!
What time should we come round on Sunday?
This is the best idea i've heard in some time!!!
I'm sensing AR10 Mark 2 comming up, this sunday afternoon.
keith_d
12-11-10, 04:29 PM
I can't help seeing that ham as two rather nice rolled gammon joints, a large ham for the publishers photos and a spare piece of bone.
Keith
Im really upset I live so far away :(
I do love the fridge though, Ham and beer.
Strongbow's actually cider, this will be my only contribution to this thread :stupid:
yorkie_chris
12-11-10, 08:44 PM
Strongbow's actually cider, this will be my only contribution to this thread :stupid:
Stick to your area of expertise :)
Strongbow's actually cider, this will be my only contribution to this thread :stupid:
I stand corrected :smt028
keith_d
12-11-10, 11:36 PM
Strongbow's almost cider, this will be my only contribution to this thread :stupid:
Corrected for you.
bluebird
14-11-10, 11:22 AM
Nah, i've got average sized ovens...it'll shrink down a little during boiling. Actually...it's the boiling of it that will be the challenge!
Boil it in the dish-washer......Job Done!!:smt023
gruntygiggles
14-11-10, 11:29 PM
It's waiting until I get a big stock pot! Shall do it one day this week :-)
ThEGr33k
15-11-10, 02:19 PM
Tin bath in front of fire? ha ha
andrewsmith
15-11-10, 05:49 PM
It's waiting until I get a big stock pot! Shall do it one day this week :-)
Tin bath in front of fire? ha ha
I thought that aswel, but decided on a cannibalism joke
http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/rma/lowres/rman1195l.jpg
Luckypants
15-11-10, 05:51 PM
It's waiting until I get a big stock pot! Shall do it one day this week :-)
I've got one, bring it here to cook so I can have some :D
gruntygiggles
15-11-10, 07:25 PM
I've got one, bring it here to cook so I can have some :D
Haha, nice try ;-). You can always come down here though ;-)
dizzyblonde
15-11-10, 08:19 PM
I've got one, bring it here to cook so I can have some :D
Well I have two....come on let face it, it'll need two of em to boil the thing!
So dinner a la Chez Stretch fer me :smt039
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs478.ash2/75186_10150329627990570_835475569_15691522_1920666 _n.jpg
My meats better :)
Stick to your area of expertise :)
I try :)
Corrected for you.
I don't drink that pish water anyway! :puker:
dizzyblonde
15-11-10, 09:29 PM
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs478.ash2/75186_10150329627990570_835475569_15691522_1920666 _n.jpg
My meats better :)
But its so small, limp and crusty lookin;)
But its so small, limp and crusty lookin;)
ROFL
I'd love to have a large juicy piece of meat to fill me up though.
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