Unexcusable ineptitude

[timwilky]

OK, rather than add to the woes of others in another thread by the application of a thick layer of numpty tags. What are the worse examples of ineptitude you have come across.

I guess most of us know stories of help requests that come down to the plug need inserting in the socket etc.

However, my favourite is the supposed story of the lady who topped up the water in her car by removing the oil filler and pouring a couple of gallon of water in. That I can believe unlike the infamous beetle story of the car that wont start, lifts bonnet and aghast, somebody has stolen her engine. No problem says her friend with an identical car, I have a spare in the boot. You can have that.

Still, some would suggest using a screw for a puncture repair. It takes all sorts.

[punyXpress]

First Bike - Lambretta Li125
Front brake shoes low, so ride to Comerfords ( BIG dealers SW London ) on a busy Saturday Morning.
Loads of peeps there, so pull up in style!
Brake hard on & spot gravel near kerb. Brake off - BRAKE OFF - BRAKE OFF!
No joy, brake cam was across the shoe ends.
Hit the gravel shortly followed by the deck. Amazing how much noise a falling scooter makes!
Face as red as a babboon's ar$e
Happy daze.

[-Ralph-]

My mother picking up a ringing mobile phone, holding the top of the phone to her mouth like a walkie talkie microphone, and shouting "HELLO?"

[Dicky Ticker]

Cousins wife topping up the engine oil for about an hour by pouring it down the dipstick tube. Needless to say there was more on the ground than went in the car as she used a quart of oil

[Bri w]

Er, it wasn't me who also oiled the brake discs on my first bike...:rolleyes:

Definitely not me :smt039

[keith_d]

An Egyptian pulling two sharks out of the Red Sea last Friday, one the wrong species, and claiming that the shark attack problem had been solved.

[454697819]

wheeling a fiends scooter into the garage. note the front brake inst working so to do them a favour I go to tighten up the front brake cable at the shoe hub... shear the adjuster off...

I walk in apologising, to be told.. its OK.. it doesn't have any shoes in the front hub...


AGHHHHHH

[timwilky]

OK I will add one of my own.

Car broke down. Called out younger brother.

I take car keys out of the ignition, open boot remove tow rope, slam boot closed, attach tow rope between mine/brothers car and off we go.

first corner, turn, click steering lock engages, yes keys are still in the boot lock.

[lily]

my dad once towed a girl he worked with car as she had broken down. She was doing my dad a favour by working the saturday so dad went up to the office to tow her home where her boyfriend could fix the car. I had to go with him as two young to stay at home by myself and mum and sister where out.

Dad sets all of it up and checks that she is alright. Me and dad jump in his car, her in her's..... first corner we go round she overtakes us!

Dad stopped and asked her what the hell she thinks she is doing. She explains that she was nearly going to hit the back of dad's car so pulled out to stop herself doing that.... dad asks why she didn't just dab the brake! She turned round and said you are doing the driving..... my dad then spent 10 mins explaining that when he uses the brakes and she sees his brake lights come on that she must also do that! It took a lot to explain to her that dad braking did not transfer down the rope!

[Pedrosa]

Young Timothy, I am afraid the title of this thread must fall in to the category! You didn't spellcheck the first word did you fella?:p

If your as anal as me see below....




















Inexcusable,(unexcusable is a Wlkyism):smt039

[carty]

Pedrosa, if 'your' [sic] as anal as me you should know better ;)

[Biker Biggles]

Pedrosa, if 'your' [sic] as anal as me you should know better ;)

Touche:D

And the thought of Pedrosa being anal would make me sick as well:puker:

[davepreston]

my wife
she cooked my steak wrong
inepitude of the highest order

[Jordy]

Removing the LH & RH rear tail covers
Refitting the lock mechanism inside the LH tail cover incorrectly
clicking the pillion seat into place
Go to removing pillion seat... **** SAKE! :rolleyes:

GGrrrr, it's like locking yourself out of the car/house. any ideas? Lol

[andrewsmith]

Young Timothy, I am afraid the title of this thread must fall in to the category! You didn't spellcheck the first word did you fella?:p

If your as anal as me see below....



Inexcusable,(unexcusable is a Wlkyism):smt039

:winner: nice one!

[yorkie_chris]

Removing the LH & RH rear tail covers
Refitting the lock mechanism inside the LH tail cover incorrectly
clicking the pillion seat into place
Go to removing pillion seat... **** SAKE! :rolleyes:

GGrrrr, it's like locking yourself out of the car/house. any ideas? Lol

Fish around for the cable with some bent wire.

It's a pain in the *rse but you can get it to stick out of the bottom of the plastics and pull the cable.

[Bibio]

i was going to say just take the side panel off again or unclip the undertray and stick your hand up.

[Jordy]

Fish around for the cable with some bent wire.

It's a pain in the *rse but you can get it to stick out of the bottom of the plastics and pull the cable.

Sounds like a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon... Thanks, I'll give it a go! :)

i was going to say just take the side panel off again or unclip the undertray and stick your hand up.

Thanks, can I get to it that way can I? Would rather not remove the undertray if I can get away with it, will probably break something else in the process lols.

[yorkie_chris]

i was going to say just take the side panel off again or unclip the undertray and stick your hand up.

The bolts for removing the side panel are under the seat.

But you can remove the bolts which are under the riders seat and get the panel to pop out a bit to help.

[punyXpress]

Long thin screwdriver
Pull pillion seat up as far as you dare ( don't blame me for breakages )
With torch you should be able to see the lever that the cable attaches to. Push this with driver.
This SHOULD free the latch.

[Fade]

Long thin screwdriver
Pull pillion seat up as far as you dare ( don't blame me for breakages )
With torch you should be able to see the lever that the cable attaches to. Push this with driver.
This SHOULD free the latch.

Been there :-(

Took the latch mec out while stripping the rear end, tidied up for the evening and just rested the seat cowl on the bike, then promptly clipped it into place while putting a cover over the bike!

To get it off, as above but I think I managed to go in from the under side so didn't need to prise the seat up. Can't remember but I might have had the undertray out so could get the screwdriver up that way.

[metalangel]

Short version (long on request): Removing topbox mount from CB500, dark in garage so turned the key to on so I could work by the glow of the headlight. It took longer than I thought...

[collis]

Short version (long on request): Removing topbox mount from CB500, dark in garage so turned the key to on so I could work by the glow of the headlight. It took longer than I thought...
long version please....

[Pedrosa]

Pedrosa, if 'your' [sic] as anal as me you should know better ;)

You're totally correct of course!:p:p

I have obviously spent too much time speaking a foreign tongue that I am losing a grip on my first language.:rolleyes:

[timwilky]

You're totally correct of course!:p:p

I have obviously spent too much time speaking a foreign tongue that I am losing a grip on my first language.:rolleyes:


Being originally from Blackburn, would that be Hindi, Urdu, Bengali, Gujarati or other?

[maviczap]

Todays unexcusable ineptitude

Went to Lidl to pick up some milk and supplies for the office.
Returned to car, no keys (car,house,garage,shed,office, lockup, imobilizer)
emptied pockets, no keys
Retraced my steps round shop (3 times) no keys
Asked at checkout 'Had any keys handed in?' - 'No mate'
Called wife at home to bring spare car keys, she has a look round, then goes to Cop shop to ask if my keys had been taken there.
Left phone number with Lidl to phone me if keys turn up
Went to work, broke into office desk and filing cabinet
Got replacement building key


Phone rings
'Hello Lidl here, your keys have turned up, you left them in the Stollen!'

Phew

[metalangel]

long version please....

Now posted in 'Dumbest Motorcycle Maintenance Moments' :smt039