View Full Version : At what stage in a relationship is it acceptable to...
appollo1
02-02-11, 11:01 AM
Now before the prudes on here start suggesting that it is an unacceptable thing to do and they have never done it or ever would....be honest with yourself as everyone does it at some point in the day.
What I am on about is bottom burping, flatulence, pumping or whatever you want to call it on a U rated forum.
The reason I am asking this is there is a young lad i work with who regularly through the day makes noises a brass band would be proud of however the smell is a danger to the ozone layer. He is in a serious relationship and during a recent converstaion someone asked him what his girlfriend said about his noises and smells.
He told us that he was too embarrassed to do it in front of her and was not sure how she would react if he let one go whilst in her presence.
I have been married for a long time now and cannot remember when I first let loose in front of Mrs A, in fact she may have been the one that let loose first!! The married guys in work cannot even remember how they went about letting one go for the first time with their partners.
So my question to the all mighty org is at what point in a relationship is it acceptable to bottom burp in front of your partner?
tinpants
02-02-11, 11:03 AM
Right from the word go!!
If she can't put up with it then, she's not going to change her mind in the months or years ahead.
mine was when we first started living together,
i mean dont get me wrong, i dropped a few in the cinema before and used my power of air from lungs to bellow it down and along the floor so it pops up unexpectadly for some poor souls a few rows in front.
Littlepeahead
02-02-11, 11:23 AM
Never.
timwilky
02-02-11, 11:32 AM
Men fart, women do as well. So what the hell, get on with it, better out than in. useful to have a dog to kick when you first do it.
Oh, however, it is never acceptable to let one go whilst be pleasured in a certain way by a partner. that is just nasty.
Specialone
02-02-11, 11:35 AM
Im pretty much have no shame, I do them in front of most people :)
My wife is a bit windy at times, wish she wasn't tbh, I can cope with men farting but women, I hate that :(
i used to work in tyseley with some dirty old woman who kept farting all day, and i dont mean little parps or even big loud burps, they sounded horrible and sloppy. and the stench made me heave, and that takes alot as if i drop a good one, i like to grade myself from "phwooaaarrrr" to "WOW that STINKS! have a sniff darlin"
JamesMio
02-02-11, 11:48 AM
Men fart, women do as well. So what the hell, get on with it, better out than in. useful to have a dog to kick when you first do it.
Oh, however, it is never acceptable to let one go whilst be pleasured in a certain way by a partner. that is just nasty.
Tromboning, I believe?
Never.
Although I have been caught out a couple of times. I've gone outside to pump not realising the good lady had followed me out the door.
BigBaddad
02-02-11, 11:58 AM
once her heads under the covers.
Roberrrrt
02-02-11, 12:17 PM
once her heads under the covers.
:winner: (german sauna?)
Tell him to get a dog, then he can blame the dog.
....................................... I do
Paul the 6th
02-02-11, 12:39 PM
:winner: (german sauna?)
Dutch Oven innit? :razz:
Mine made me laugh so much I didn't have any choice in the matter of letting rip.
metalangel
02-02-11, 02:03 PM
Although I have been caught out a couple of times. I've gone outside to pump not realising the good lady had followed me out the door.
My dad, by contrast, would enter the room, release it, and then leave again.
We decided that he, not Jupiter, was the 'Gas Giant' of the universe.
dizzyblonde
02-02-11, 02:34 PM
I only heard Peg fart for the first time the other day. Hes only just started belching in front of me, and says it isn't him when he does it :)
If someone can't fart and burp in front of their other half its a poor do in this day and age. We're a far more open minded planet than we were in the Victorian era when it was rude for everything to be done in the land of relationships.
Jimmy2Feet
02-02-11, 02:40 PM
just get on and do it, bad for you to hold it on, as already said, everyone does it! noting to be embarrassed about!
Club together and get him a colonic irrigation session for his birthday!
We got one for a guy at work (he was keen!) and our sense of smell has been returned to us! Well worth the fiver it cost.
missyburd
02-02-11, 03:26 PM
once her heads under the covers.
YC swears by this rule...
I don't mind the concept of letting rip, its the smells I can't stand. YC is a fan of the silent but deadly ones and they have recently really started getting to me. So much so I start feeling ill and have to move somewhere else is he does it while sat next to me. Seems to be a lot worse when he drinks alcofrol, is this a common issue?
I guess at the end of the day you releasing methane means you need a visit to the toilet which in itself is a revolting way of looking at it but it tends to hold true. If I have to do it (because yes, women do it too, we're all human) it's not in the company of others, simple as :)
Seems to be a lot worse when he drinks alcofrol, is this a common issue?
Ahhhhhh, alcohol farts/dump.
Commonly spoke about upon a casual sunday drinking session to settle the stomache from the night before.
Paul the 6th
02-02-11, 03:46 PM
yeah beer-rear MYC... mainly due to the gas and volumetric quantity of drink taken in.. worse with beer, better with woo woo (which actually kind of hydrates you a tiny bit via cranberry juice)
next time you buy a pitcher of woo woo, ask for orange juice instead of cranberry. just tastes like tropical juice and always buy about 3 more vodka shots for the pitcher. gets you smashed but no hangover, tis amazing
Fine in front of wife/husband.
Never in front of lover/mistress
right from the off. i dont give a hoot where i let one rip and i take great enjoyment in doing it in a lift full of people.
Teejayexc
02-02-11, 06:28 PM
Oh, however, it is never acceptable to let one go whilst be pleasured in a certain way by a partner. that is just nasty.
You ain't doing it right then ;)
....and, why is it that majority of women deny farting?
Many a times there's been an almighty one let off in the bedroom, now I know damn well it wasn't me, I take immense pleasure in brewing before dropping mine, but the wife will swear on her mothers grave it wasn't her! Anyone know of a troupe of flatulent burglars?
I fart all the time, don't know why, doesn't matter what I eat, plain salad or a madras, my farts smell aweful. Sometimes I've even been disgusted with what I've produced!
With my gf I fart all the time, Jesus I've woken us both up on many occasions! She for some reason laughs when I fart... So it's her fault if she doesn't actually like it, she is leading me on... Haha
I also use it to my advantage in the van if my mate hasnt pulled his weight at work.
I'd also like to add, farting while riding a bike is a strange experience...
Dave20046
02-02-11, 08:16 PM
:winner: (german sauna?)
Farting's fine but I understand there are to be no grenades before marriage.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fart%20grenade
kwak zzr
02-02-11, 08:19 PM
yep pop it out straight away :)
-Ralph-
02-02-11, 08:43 PM
I guess at the end of the day you releasing methane means you need a visit to the toilet
That's the line my mother used to feed me when I was six. Didn't believe it then and I don't believe it now. I'm a pretty regular once a day, same time every day kind of guy, but I can fart any time, even 10 mins after going.
Sandrine can't remember when my first time farting in front of her was, so I wouldn't worry about it, if it's meant to be then after a while the GF won't remember either. If you sleep with her then she's probably heard you fart many more times than you think.
Dave20046
02-02-11, 08:45 PM
after a while the GF won't remember either.
Eat more eggs...they'll remember :mrgreen:
Fruity-ya-ya
02-02-11, 09:35 PM
I asked the wife as I too cannot remember when we first had a gas exchange.
She said and I quote 'if they are in a steady relationship and having it off, what does it matter.'
She reasoned that swapping spit & other bodily fluids are simply a precursor to the inevitable botty burp.
Basically, if they are still just dating, holding hands & on best behavior then perhaps keep blaming the dog.
Until such a time as it gets heavy, i.e. one or both have had to rub the others back/hold their hair out of the bowl while they pray to the porcelain gods from a heavy nights session, put a cork in it.
:smt030 [-o< :puker:
Eat more eggs...they'll remember :mrgreen:
Haha!
Yes, girls do fart too! My problem is in my sleep, Mr Lou says he often lies awake p***ing himself laughing!
missyburd
02-02-11, 10:16 PM
That's the line my mother used to feed me when I was six. Didn't believe it then and I don't believe it now. I'm a pretty regular once a day, same time every day kind of guy, but I can fart any time, even 10 mins after going.
Well I only say that as that tends to be the way it is for me but everyone's different and I'm sure some of us are more windier than others :smt040
hongman
02-02-11, 10:20 PM
I reckon day 1, set those expectations way up high! ;)
We're pretty easy going about farts, although my missus doesn't do it in public.
I love letting a massive one rip in the middle of Tesco's and then shouting "Tash, that was gross, hold it in next time!"
Best bit is when my son annouces his mum farted for the rest of the shopping trip ;)
Specialone
02-02-11, 10:22 PM
I have farted that loud in my sleep it has woke me up :)
I have terminal flatulence I think.
Yes, girls do fart too! My problem is in my sleep, Mr Lou says he often lies awake p***ing himself laughing!
:lol:
Reminds me of someone I know.
Teejayexc
02-02-11, 10:28 PM
Yes, girls do fart too! My problem is in my sleep, Mr Lou says he often lies awake p***ing himself laughing!
Bundle of laughs at your house ain't it,
One farts whilst asleep and t'other one pi55es himself ! :smt082
appollo1
03-02-11, 08:31 AM
I have farted that loud in my sleep it has woke me up :)
pmsl so i am not the onl;y one that has done that either.
I have woken up wondering what the noise was and why it had woken me then realised i had farted.
startrek.steve
03-02-11, 08:55 AM
When you get to my age, choice doesn't come into the equation!
MattCollins
03-02-11, 08:59 AM
My ex would snuggle in with her back to me and start dropping her guts in my lap. There was no doubt as to why I pulled out the camp bed in the shed, but she still didn't get it.
It is bad manners to unload in company... why should that change with familiarity?
To the original question... Consciously... Never!
dizzyblonde
03-02-11, 09:20 AM
Scottish dude in Austin Powers
'ooo everyone loves the smell of their own brand'
tactcom7
03-02-11, 09:29 AM
I only ever heard my ex fart twice, once in her sleep and the other time was when she was throwing up the morning after a night out. She was so embarrassed she actually stopped halfway through being sick, hand over the mouth to apologise.
BigBaddad
03-02-11, 10:58 AM
I use farting in bed as an anti-spooning tactic.
Doesn't seem to put speedplay off though.:smt104
missyburd
03-02-11, 11:29 AM
and the other time was when she was throwing up the morning after a night out. She was so embarrassed she actually stopped halfway through being sick, hand over the mouth to apologise.
How attractive :-P
Milky Bar Kid
03-02-11, 11:39 AM
Meh, to be honest, it doesn't bother me. I am not a huge farter, I am more of a burper and I burp pretty much whenever I feel the need. I tend to fart more when I go to bed, before I fall asleep, particularly so when I go to bed from a nightshift, think it's all the crap I eat on a nightshift.
I wouldn't be bothered with a guy farting in front of me. I probably wouldn't do it conciously with him for a looong time but it wouldn't bother me if he did it.
hongman
03-02-11, 11:49 AM
Hmm I had a pretty vulgar reply lined up but I think it's probably a bit past the U rating!
tactcom7
03-02-11, 12:12 PM
How attractive :-P
Haha she's an ex for a reason! (well, several)
missyburd
03-02-11, 12:35 PM
Haha she's an ex for a reason! (well, several)
funnily enough i was going to post that exact comment but decided against it as you never know the reasons why people become ex's :-P
widepants
03-02-11, 12:44 PM
I have a rather strange reaction whenever I eat onions and Lyn didnt know if to believe me.Needless to say she now will not cook with them again
tactcom7
03-02-11, 12:55 PM
funnily enough i was going to post that exact comment but decided against it as you never know the reasons why people become ex's :-P
Haha well it was nothing to do with her simultaneous farting/throwing up display, I thought it was rather cute :)
sloppy joe
03-02-11, 01:41 PM
Can't remember the first time and there are no issues with burps and farts in this house, they are usually a source of humour rather than admonishment. However, I am banned from eating bombay mix; for some reason it has a devastaing and toxic effect on my gas output.
To be honest, with a 3 year old son who is happy to barge into the loo and enquire if you are peeing or pooing, and then broadcast the information to everyone else in the house, bodily functions are no longer a particularly private affair.
timwilky
03-02-11, 01:44 PM
We used to blame the dog, far easier.
But as the daughter says he only does "love puffs" and the proceeds to have a niff at his own backside how can you blame him for the silent but deadly.
Can't remember the first time and there are no issues with burps and farts in this house, they are usually a source of humour rather than admonishment. However, I am banned from eating bombay mix; for some reason it has a devastaing and toxic effect on my gas output.
To be honest, with a 3 year old son who is happy to barge into the loo and enquire if you are peeing or pooing, and then broadcast the information to everyone else in the house, bodily functions are no longer a particularly private affair.
Do you not lock the door?
It really annoys me when people don't. My brother constantly takes a **** with the door open as well, wtf is that about?! We don't need to hear you going about your business ffs.
Teejayexc
03-02-11, 06:37 PM
We used to blame the dog, far easier.
But as the daughter says he only does "love puffs" and the proceeds to have a niff at his own backside how can you blame him for the silent but deadly.
Lol, and sometimes turns round in amazement as if to say, "where the f*** did that come from?" :D
beabert
04-02-11, 07:24 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12363852
Iknoweverything
21-09-11, 08:40 AM
Re: At what stage in a relationship is it acceptable to...
Haha she's an ex for a reason! (well, several)
Haha, would that be because you cheated on her with 3 people while at a christening and then went straight to her house and slept with her and then went to ur ex and slept with her and then rang up ur gf to brag about it? Also didn't she read an email to ur mate saying u wanted to sit in a corner and watch ur mate going at it with her friend with her friends knickers on ur head while u gave urself a good seeing to? Ex's are
Definitely for a reason and I suggest u keep ur comments to urself u disgusting loser!
*
Owenski
21-09-11, 08:57 AM
Busted!
-Ralph-
21-09-11, 09:04 AM
Haha, would that be because you cheated on her with 3 people while at a christening and then went straight to her house and slept with her and then went to ur ex and slept with her and then rang up ur gf to brag about it?
Tactcom, mate, cheated with five women in one day, then told your GF about it? =D>
:notworthy: KUDOS! Major man points awarded right there!
Have yourself a :drink: and remember the good times! Once you settle down for good you'll never get those days back! :lol:
tactcom7
21-09-11, 09:10 AM
lol i wish it was true!
missjhb
21-09-11, 09:21 AM
lol i wish it was true!
Oh really? ;)
Wideboy
21-09-11, 09:24 AM
Wtf
Did you keep the nickers?
Dave20046
21-09-11, 09:25 AM
LOl, I liked the bit with the knickers on the head...
tactcom7
21-09-11, 09:28 AM
this is getting weirder by the second...
missjhb
21-09-11, 09:31 AM
Re: At what stage in a relationship is it acceptable to...
Haha she's an ex for a reason! (well, several)
Haha, would that be because you cheated on her with 3 people while at a christening and then went straight to her house and slept with her and then went to ur ex and slept with her and then rang up ur gf to brag about it? Also didn't she read an email to ur mate saying u wanted to sit in a corner and watch ur mate going at it with her friend with her friends knickers on ur head while u gave urself a good seeing to? Ex's are
Definitely for a reason and I suggest u keep ur comments to urself u disgusting loser!
*
Surely you read the terms and conditions and shouldn't be broadcasting your emotional hang ups of your ex? Don't think this is appropriate in the slightest
Wideboy
21-09-11, 09:32 AM
LOl, I liked the bit with the knickers on the head...
Hmm really? Fancy hooking up? We can cyber
IBTL. Yay, Tactom's stalker's back. :cheers:
Loving this thread. I don't know where to start...it's just...it's got everything. :D
I've got the wife's pants on my head, eagerly awaiting more revelations. :smt104
tactcom7
21-09-11, 09:43 AM
IBTL. Yay, Tactom's stalker's back. :cheers:
Loving this thread. I don't know where to start...it's just...it's got everything. :D
I've got the wife's pants on my head, eagerly awaiting more revelations. :smt104
nearly but not quite, this is the other ex, the stalker you mention is the ex she is referring to! hth lol
Iknoweverything
21-09-11, 09:45 AM
Dear miss tactcom7 no I didn't read the t&c I just wanted to put the record straight having been told of the post! As mr tactcom7 is rather good at making out his innocence in many matters. And I will not be made out to be the bad
Person when I did nothing wrong, and having heard a few stories about what has been said I just wanted to put the record straight. That period of my life was possibly the worst I've ever experienced. I only hope he treats u better than everyone else! And yes those stories are true - wasn't the same day, was over a weekend! But there were also plenty more stories of his antics over those last few dreadful months! As I said disgusting loser!
It just gets better. Who do you want to play you in the film?
Dave20046
21-09-11, 09:47 AM
Hmm really? Fancy hooking up? We can cyber
NO offence but I'm going to hold out and see if anyone else steps forward... I heard you like girls now anyway
stalker's back? have I missed a previous episode?
Owenski
21-09-11, 09:48 AM
All I hear is whinge whinge whinge.
Oh and that Si had a great weekend one time, Si = Man Legend
missyburd
21-09-11, 09:50 AM
So Miss I know everything, is this you?
I only ever heard my ex fart twice, once in her sleep and the other time was when she was throwing up the morning after a night out. She was so embarrassed she actually stopped halfway through being sick, hand over the mouth to apologise.
Good grief, talk about washing dirty laundry... sorry knickers...in public :rolleyes:
That's enough of that!
;)
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