One 'lucky' lady will win this Valentines.

[Reeder]

:)Valentines day is one of joy for so many people, but many forget that for those alone at this time of year it can be soul destroying:(. It can make you despise yourself for reasons unknown, question what's wrong with you and why no body wants to be with you, hate everything and everyone around you, etc, etc... you get the idea:smt019.

Well fear not ladies(not strictly females only but preferable[-o<. Its not gay if you don't kiss) as there's a solution for one of your lucky selves!:D

You can win the opportunity to have a date with me!! :eek:
*sounds of cheers and applause*:cheers:
That's right, one of you lucky people will be graced with my time on valentines day to make you feel whole, wanted and special again.

Who am I?

I'm Andrew Reeder:takeabow: - the forum numpty, the king derailer & the annoying prat who always gets called gay:smt104.

Why do you want this date?

Lets be honest ladies. Can you afford to miss an opportunity with this fashion/health concious beast of true lurrrrrrvveeee:smt049:love:?
You'll be kicking yourself for months not knowing what you've missed out on if you don't enter.

http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/164543_490456152617_515367617_5883917_3061573_n.jp g

How will it happen?

I am willing to dedicate 2 hours of my precious time over the internet by any program of your choice; MSN, Yahoo messenger, Facebook, Skype, etc. The time slot will be roughly 8pm-10pm on Monday 14th February (this may be subject to change in case I get a better offer that evening).
If however you are close enough, I may turn up at your house with a crate of cider, protection, eadible g-string and only enough money for a taxi ride home.

How do I apply?

All you have to do is to write a post in this thread about how much my time would mean to you on valentines day.
I urge people to think carefully. Originality will be marked highly as I'm expecting a very high quantity of entries and you don't want to miss out just because you thought you didn't have to try so hard.

When does this fantastic competition end?

It will end at approximately 11pm Sunday 13th February and the winner will be announced in this thread.



So there you go people. Opportunity of a life time? I think so.
Don't miss out, as this may not happen again next year (please *insert religious leaders' names here*, don't let me be single and a loser for two valentines days in a row).

Best of luck.

[Whyte25]

Hahahahaha..... cracked me up... (no i`m not offering my services)... hehe.

[Milky Bar Kid]

Reeder...I love you!!!!!! That is all.

[Reeder]

Can I enter?

Entrants should be preferably women, but men are also allowed.

[minimorecambe]

Seeing as I will be all on my own - again - this valentines day, this competition is appealing :p

Would you wear your special Christmas jumper???

[Bri w]

I'll pay your taxi fare if you promise to take the wife away from me.

She is very attractive in a half light from about 8 miles away :smt104. And there is no truth she failed to get into Cruft's this year.:smt083







I'm so glad she doesn't log on here.:D

[Quedos]

This forum would not be the same without you-
I thought I was mad!! - shame really the apprentice thought you were soooooo cute!

[Wideboy]

Entrants should be preferably women, but men are also allowed.

Phone fecked up but yes i did enter

I can treat you well, my toy boy

[dizzyblonde]

thank god I'm not single sad and lonely........Reeder yer so funny :)

[Rai86]

lol that is the funniest thing i have seen all day!!

[Quedos]

thank god I'm not single sad and lonely........Reeder yer so funny :)

Derail

so if your not sad things looking better then[-o<

[Geodude]

You sir are a loon, thanks for making me laugh again :D

[Viney]

Pah, beat me too it.

2 mates text me the other day said "fancy meeting up after work for a catch up and beer next monday" i replied, "im up for it, but you know its Valentines day and as far as i know you 2 are hooked up" "IS IT, thanks for the reminder, better make it Thursday then" In hindsight, i shouldn't have said anything and announced it in the pub on Monday.

I chuckled.

[dizzyblonde]

Derail

so if your not sad things looking better then[-o<
no:(

[UKPrincess]

Come on then big boy, you rolled the dice now take your chance

I dare you :smt079

[Reeder]

:poke:

That wont load for me, but seeing as it's a link to another forum I'm not being accused of copying am I?

[davepreston]

must get to some orgers laptop, who fancies me coming for a drink at theirs next week :)

[UKPrincess]

That wont load for me, but seeing as it's a link to another forum I'm not being accused of copying am I?

no :smt019 edited post now

[Reeder]

Anyway, guys, seriously, come on.
I didn't put all that effort in to get no proper entries.
I would appreciate it if you all wrote a good paragraph or two explaining why you would enjoy my time and why I should pick you. Please, make that effort. It could be the best decision of your life.

[SoulKiss]

A warning for the ladies thinking of entering, but also to you Reeder.

The 1st year I moved down to London, the 3 guys I was sharing the house with dragged me out on Valentines day, their thinking being that if you go to a club, all the girls there will be single, and due to the "special day" more keen than usual to hook up with someone.

What they forgot to take into consideration was that there is usually a reason why someone is single, and going by the bunny boilers they ended up picking up, they found some with the BIGGEST reasons.

I believe that for one of the guys (the one who was actually engaged) it took him 6 months to get her to stop calling.

This, made me chuckle http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/clips/p00dscgg/comedy_clips_single_white_feline/

[keith_d]

thank god I'm not single sad and lonely.....

This is Reeder we're talking about - so even if you were it might take more than one crate of cider.....

[Jordy]

Lmao :D

[Gordon72]

:laughat:Reeder, Thanks for giving me the best laugh i've had all day.
You sir, are a star

[kellyjo]

Only if you promise to wear the full-body green condom ;-)

I take it nothing happened with the beer-swilling blonde then?

I think Speedplay is free Monday night.....

[Reeder]

Only if you promise to wear the full-body green condom ;-)

I take it nothing happened with the beer-swilling blonde then?

I think Speedplay is free Monday night.....

Ah the blonde... God knows what's going on there. Went out again Sunday and had another good time, spoke again Monday about doing something again soon but not spoken to since. The ball's in her court!

[Speedy Claire]

Would you be wearing that fantastic jumper!!! lmao

[Reeder]

Would you be wearing that fantastic jumper!!! lmao

Depends how good your entry is ;)

[andrewsmith]

Reeder a bit bored???

[BanannaMan]

Entrants should be preferably women, but men are also allowed.




I have no idea why some might think you're gay. :rolleyes:
Good luck though.

[kellyjo]

Reeder a bit bored???

Sounds a bit more like desperation if you ask me!!:p

So is there a shortlist of finalists now then??

[speedplay]

I think Speedplay is free Monday night.....


Nope.

Never.

Not even with cider....


And I've already cancelled him as the girlfriend is coming over.

[Jayneflakes]

I have no idea why some might think you're gay. :rolleyes:
Good luck though.
I think that the modern term would be Metrosexual... :cheers:

Right my entry,

Mr Reeder, I am working nights on Monday in a residential home for disabled people, I will be away from my lovely wife on the most romantic day of the year and she will be at home on her own, all alone. :smt083

She is about five foot ten, cuddly and can punch through the engine block of a Fiat Uno! She likes to dominate men, so if you could turn up at ours, dressed in smooth black rubber pants and a ball gag that would be awesome. I would advise taking out medical insurance and making sure that you have some good deep colonic irrigation before attending. :)

The last victim, sorry I mean date, that we had round has not left yet, probably because they can't get out of the tea chest in the cellar what with all of the chains and the hobbling we did with the sledge hammer. The genital piercing we did with the rusty nail seems to have healed up now, although the end did drop off first and the chap does whimper slightly every time he tries to wee, stand or pull the nail out. :smt040

Should you manage to escape, sorry I mean leave, on time into your taxi, it is likely that you will need a shower once you get home, mainly to wash off the blood, the filth and the shame. The limp will fade in time, but the nightmares tend to take a bit longer. [-o<

Should you still be here upon my return from work, you will find that I am very good with forceps and medical probes. The last chap I practice on can now do a convincing impression of a garden sprinkler! You will like our dungeon, sorry I mean flat, with its triple glazing and sound proofing that muffles the screams and if we need to feed you, you can have your very own bowl On the floor with only the best pedigree chum to eat. :smt040

I shall look forwards to your "entry"

Hugs,

Aunty Jayne
XXXX
:smt104

[Stuuk1]

[QUOTE=Jayneflakes;2480486]I think that the modern term would be Metrosexual... :cheers:

Right my entry,

Mr Reeder, I am working nights on Monday in a residential home for disabled people, I will be away from my lovely wife on the most romantic day of the year and she will be at home on her own, all alone. :smt083

She is about five foot ten, cuddly and can punch through the engine block of a Fiat Uno! She likes to dominate men, so if you could turn up at ours, dressed in smooth black rubber pants and a ball gag that would be awesome. I would advise taking out medical insurance and making sure that you have some good deep colonic irrigation before attending. :)

The last victim, sorry I mean date, that we had round has not left yet, probably because they can't get out of the tea chest in the cellar what with all of the chains and the hobbling we did with the sledge hammer. The genital piercing we did with the rusty nail seems to have healed up now, although the end did drop off first and the chap does whimper slightly every time he tries to wee, stand or pull the nail out. :smt040

Should you manage to escape, sorry I mean leave, on time into your taxi, it is likely that you will need a shower once you get home, mainly to wash off the blood, the filth and the shame. The limp will fade in time, but the nightmares tend to take a bit longer. [-o

[andrewsmith]

jayne as usual you've made me smile with a sadistic pleasure.
You evil person

[Reeder]

jayne as usual you've made me smile with a sadistic pleasure.
You evil person

Just wondering... Do you ever stop kissing ass Smithers?

[Graciepants]

Reeder, obviously you and I are made for each other as I quite like that jumper...

[kellyjo]

Reeder, obviously you and I are made for each other as I quite like that jumper...

Sounds like we have a winner...:p

[tactcom7]

Reeder I thought you had a girlfriend? (genuinely)



Or was that an elaborate cover up?

[allantheboss]

Does this mean we're over? I though we had something special when you told me you liked me armpits

[Teejayexc]

Ah the blonde... God knows what's going on there. Went out again Sunday and had another good time, spoke again Monday about doing something again soon but not spoken to since. The ball's in her court!


Could this be where you are going wrong :confused:

[andrewsmith]

Just wondering... Do you ever stop kissing ass Smithers?

not kissing ass!

Just a sadistic ****er

[speedplay]

Sounds like we have a unfortunate winner...:p

EFY

[Reeder]

Right, thats it.

MBK has won.

[Biker Biggles]

Who will have the courage to tell her?

[Milky Bar Kid]

Right, thats it.

MBK has won.

Is this what did it???
:confused::smt051
Reeder...I love you!!!!!! That is all.

[Reeder]

All I wanted was some love. You provided it. You're the lucky/unlucky lady!

[missyburd]

Just wondering... Do you ever stop kissing ass Smithers?
lol!


Valentine's day = load of bull. Reeder, just think how much fun you could have had by now if you'd posted this a month ago! :-P

[Reeder]

No one wants me anymore MYC :D So I couldn't have had any fun :)

[missyburd]

Was a damn good thread though so worth it for that. And Reeder?

















Don't forget, the world is your aphrodisiac! :D:love:;-)

[Reeder]

Nah, the world is here to call me gay and for girls to reject me :D

[barwel1992]

Nah, the world is here to call me gay and for girls and boys to reject me :D


changed it for you

[Reeder]

Nothing like jumping on the bandwagon hey Barwell?
You ****ing sheep.

[DarrenSV650S]

So you and mbk are gonna have a webcam session ?

[Reeder]

Too ****ing right.

[barwel1992]

Nothing like jumping on the bandwagon hey Barwell?
You ****ing sheep.

:mrgreen:

[speedplay]

Nah, the world is here to call me gay and for girls to reject me :D


Now theres a quote...:rolleyes:

[allantheboss]

Was a damn good thread though so worth it for that. And Reeder?

















Don't forget, the world is your aphrodisiac! :D:love:;-)

With enough chloroform.

[Owenski]

awww I almost feel sorry for the guy... almost.

[Tom_the_great]

haha awsome thread. but how did it go ? were you stood up ?

[Reeder]

I even got stood up on the internet!


Can anyone say FAIL?

[Quedos]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::kiss::kiss:

[Milky Bar Kid]

FAIL...

Yeah sorry about that! I was, erm, washing my hair....! lol!

[anna]

http://www.skepticnorth.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/FAIL-Cats-We-shall-decide.jpg

[Viney]

FAIL...

Yeah sorry about that! I was, erm, washing my hair....! lol!Thanks for the web caht last night Nic. I needed that. I was amazed at what you can do with your legs!...what, oh yeah, dont say anything on the forum...Sorry Reedz

[Reeder]

You know you're only lying to yourself Viney ;)

[Owenski]

You know you're only lying to yourself Reeder ;)

[Reeder]

http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/4931891/2/istockphoto_4931891-upset-child.jpg

[Owenski]

god u were an ugly kid

[Reeder]

Still am mate.

[Whyte25]

Still am mate.

Is that why the avatar was changed? :)

[Reeder]

The mods changed it. They had too many complaints!

[Owenski]

lol!
Keep this one, tis my favorite one currently on the Org.

[Whyte25]

Here here... your avatar cracks me up... :-)

[davepreston]

dont mention cracks infront of him he'll either smoke you or try to but his **** in ya

[Reeder]

It's pretty awesome isn't it ;)

No sorry DP, you've got me mistaken for Smithy there. He's the true **** licker of the org ;)

[andrewsmith]

dont mention cracks infront of him he'll either smoke you or try to but his **** in ya

:lol:

nope reeder, DP's right first time!

[Jimmy2Feet]

HAHAHA!

Really late i know, but i have only just seen this thread!! f***ing funny!!

Reeder you make me wonder more and more every day about your sanity!

[Reeder]

I probably am insane, but in a good way.
God help you all at the AR!

[Owenski]

Yorkshire is already on Amber alert for your arrival.

[andrewsmith]

I probably am insane, but in a good way.
God help you all at the AR!

God help you more like.
North of Stafford is building fall out shelters just in case ;)

[Reeder]

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/4769_95333917617_515367617_1936160_875004_n.jpg

Coming to a town near you

[Owenski]

Is that the most civilised pic u could find?

[Reeder]

No. This is

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/10963_183638868488_515608488_2781893_5193512_n.jpg

[Viney]

You know you're only lying to yourself Viney ;)
Tis true. I am but a mere charlatan.

I could only wish to win the affection of such a fair maiden. I to was alone the last evening.

[Milky Bar Kid]

hahahahahaha! Viney you make me larf!!! I stood you both up!!

[Jayneflakes]

Hmmm, Reeder if you ever need a chat to Aunty Jayne about the Bees and the Bees, you only have to ask...

Kind of expecting to see Reeder looking like this in a year or two, get used to riding pillion!
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRUg4Q6_a1wbpiTFc7LvR0B12rga38bf ZMHF7WMntyTlyRWQIFnTg&t=1

[Reeder]

Hmmm, Reeder if you ever need a chat to Aunty Jayne about the Bees and the Bees, you only have to ask...

Kind of expecting to see Reeder looking like this in a year or two, get used to riding pillion!
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRUg4Q6_a1wbpiTFc7LvR0B12rga38bf ZMHF7WMntyTlyRWQIFnTg&t=1

Wow... Lol. I'm speechless.

[Treacle]

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/4769_95333917617_515367617_1936160_875004_n.jpg

Coming to a town near you

Sorry Reeder but this photo is so desperate to be photo shopped. Lol ;)

[Reeder]

Lol, here we go.

Reeder's Valentines thread changes into the photo shop and take the **** out of Reeder thread!

[andrewsmith]

monkey do it!
Or wheres TLW :rolleyes:

[Bluefish]

it does say eunuch on t shirt don't it? :D

[BanannaMan]

Nah, the world is here to call me gay and for girls to reject me :D


Well you're still smiling at the thought of being rejected by women,,, so, as they say, If the shoe fits...





God help you all at the AR!

You haven't met bear yet have you?












Yeah sorry about that! I was, erm, washing my hair....! lol!

hahahahahaha! Viney you make me larf!!! I stood you both up!!


You wicked she devil!
Jilting not one but two poor lads, on Valentines Day no less, And all without hardly even trying.
Oh and the classic "I was washing my hair " line. Ouch! Now that's adding insult to injury.

MBK - Forum Heartbreaker
Men are her toys!

[Milky Bar Kid]

Teehee!! You know me Bill, treat em mean, keep em keen!

[Reeder]

Looks like you lucky ladies will get a second chance. It's almost Valentines day 2012 ;)

[tom-k6]

I mean come on ladies, how many times can you really dodge the bullet? ;)

[Jayneflakes]

Count me out now that I am a Nun! Sorry Reader, you are a lovely boy and everything, but Hanging out with sexy Nuns wins hands down! :D

[andrewsmith]

reeder most of last ones will probably stand

[minimorecambe]

I'm out this year sorry :smt058

[Reeder]

Count me out now that I am a Nun! Sorry Reader, you are a lovely boy and everything, but Hanging out with sexy Nuns wins hands down! :D

Ouch :( can't even spell my name right :(

[Jayneflakes]

Ouch :( can't even spell my name right :(

Ooh Sorry Sweetie, You just can't trust the clergy can you? :smt077

I know how annoying it is too, so many people can't spell my name either. :smt013

You still not getting any off me this year though! :smt098