Oh mighty Org I need your help!

[MisterTommyH]

I have, somehow, managed to be conned into cooking for the missus tomorrow night. I have no time to prep and very little 'successful' cooking experiance.

I've never cooked for her before, and have already lowered expectations.....but I want to do something nice, but simple and something that I would have to try hard to get wrong.

Any suggestions???

[fizzwheel]

A Roast.

Its sounds difficult, but in my limited cooking experience its very hard to f*ck it up. Its just a matter of timing to make sure its already at the same time.

[ryanh1418]

Surely you have Dominos pizza up there?

On a serious note, if you want seeeriously easy what about a curry? Just cheat and buy one of the jars of pre-done sauce. I think you can just about call that cooking. Or fajitas, they're a piece of p1ss as well. Shepherds pie, that's a classic and again you can buy the sauce in a jar if you don't want to try making it from scratch. There's loads man!!

[MisterTommyH]

Ha ha,

I've already done the dominos thing, and the curry thing and now I kind of feel I have to cook something. Keep the suggestions coming...... I reserve the right to PM the winner for hints(!)

[Sally]

Fajitas? I love them :)

[Electro]

My half decent meal is chops, lamb or pork, tats or chips, bit of greenery and some gravy, u cant mess it up, bit of desert if required :)

[Stuuk1]

Fajitas? I love them :)

Hell yes, fajitas are the way forward, chuck some chicken in the hot wok, get that cooked almost through, then chuck the sauce in and finish off the meat in that.

Once done, warm fajita wraps in microwave for a couple of mins and then chuck re stuff in them with some salad (perhaps cook some peppers in with the chicken and sauce)

Then under the grill with some grated cheese on top of the rolled up wraps...

I'm dribbling already.... And she will love it!

[MiniMatt]

Chilli is an easy one:

Mince, tin of chopped tomatoes, tin of kidney beans (wash these thoroughly before putting in), onions, chilli powder/paste.

Spag-bol recipie pretty much the same.

edit: oops, forgot, add a pepper to the chilli recipie (one of the big red/green/yellow ones), might want to finely chop one of the little hot ones into there too.

edit 2 - more detailed chilli recipie:
this tends to result in slightly soggy onions but is easiest - cook onions seperately and add to main dish at the end if you're really picky.

Get a tray of the leanest mince you can find. Judge the amount you need by eye. One large onion, 2 of those big peppers (different colours to look pretty but they taste the same), tin of chopped toms, tin of kidney beans. Heat wok with very small amount of oil to medium high heat, put chopped onion in, when onions start to brown put mince in, keep stirring whilst you core and chop the peppers, when mince is roughly browned put chopped tomatoes in, whilst that's simmering stick the kidney beans in a sieve and rinse thoroughly under a running cold tap, then throw them in along with the peppers. Start adding chilli powder to taste, keep tasting until heat is roughly right, about five to ten minutes tops of simmering to finish cooking the mince and slightly soften the peppers (you want to keep some crunch).
Meanwhile you should be boiling some rice (or one of those Uncle Ben microwave jobbies) - if you need instruction as to how to boil rice then you've got bigger problems :D

[dizzyblonde]

A Roast.

Its sounds difficult, but in my limited cooking experience its very hard to f*ck it up. Its just a matter of timing to make sure its already at the same time.

Roast dinner hits the spot everytime, but if you're no good at timing, at least you can pretend the veggies are 'fashionably al dente', and say beef should be a little pink and you like it that way;)


For the rest of us that are slightly more expert, people know when you've buggered up LOL

[ryanh1418]

Get a slow cooker. Buy a joint of meat, some root veg, spuds, bit of stock or sauce, sling the lot in, go do something for 6-8 hours, come back, EAT!!! If it hits the spot, go do something a bit more interesting for an hour or two ;)

And if all else fails, sticky toffee pudding with double cream never fails to take the sting out of a f**ked up main course!!

[Sudoxe]

If you can't cook, and don't have prep time save yourself the trouble. Pop down to Marks & Spencer, you can buy meat/fish ready to go in the oven, same as potatoes and veg. Simple instructions, and you can't fsck it up!

That lets you sit back and have a good night, rather than worry about cooking. ;)

[metalangel]

Okay, here's two things you can do:

FAJITAS:
-buy some of the seasoning mix (Discovery do little packs of it), two chicken boobs, a proper sized pepper, and whatever else you want in it (guacamole, salsa, tomatoes, lettuce, grated cheese etc). Also get six or eight (depending on appetite!) flour tortilla wraps.
-prepare the 'whatever else' if it needs chopping. Also, chop your chicken and peppers up. Chicken into chunks as big as you'd eat with a fork without having to cut it, peppers a bit smaller.
-put a tablespoon of oil into a pan, and heat the pan up until the first wisps of smoke appear.
-throw the diced pepper into the pan in and fry them until they start to blacken.
-remove the slightly blackened pepper pieces into a bowl or something.
-add another tablespoon of oil to the pan, and put the chicken in. IMMEDIATELY put the seasoning (as much as you dare!) on top and keep stirring and turning so it coats the chicken.
-after a few minutes, put the peppers back in.
-cut open a chunk of chicken: when it's white inside, it's cooked.
-serve it up!

REMEMBER that fajitas are folded into a pocket, NOT a tube! Fold the bottom up, then fold the sides in.

ROAST DINNER
-Buy a roasting chicken (1.5kg or so), some potatoes, some parsnips, and whatever you like to go with your roasts (I don't know what you like, I like sprouts, some people don't, maybe some carrots and peas?) and a pack of Paxo stuffing. Gravy granules if you want, too. A lot of these things are sold pre-chopped in ASDA or wherever if you don't want to chop!
-The chicken will tell you how long to cook it for on the label.
-cut your potatoes up so they're just about bitesize, maybe bigger. Cut the parnsips into longer pieces.
-make the stuffing (add water and stir, seriously, that's all) and shove it into the chicken's bum.
-put the chicken into the oven (remember to cut the string on the legs!) in a roasting tray with all the potatoes and parsnips strewn around it. Salt and pepper the veg if you like.
-generally speaking, stuff like peas and carrots takes about 15-20 minutes to cook, so if your chicken is due at 19:30, start them at 19:10.
-If you're feeling brave, flip the chicken over when it's got 20 or 30 minutes left, so the juices flow into the breast.
-smother in gravy (if you wanted some) and serve!

(I've just typed these from memory, I hope I made them easy enough to follow)

[carelesschucca]

have a go at this

two chicken breasts wrap them in parma ham, cut an onion and red pepper roughly (1 inch size bits) and put in baking tray. pour over a tin of chopped plum tomato's and half a tin of chicken stock mix (same tin the tomato's came out of) with chopped tomato's add 3 or 4 bay leaves and put in the oven for half an hour (helps if you turn on the oven to 180 and let it pre heat while your doing the prep work). Half way through add a handfull of fresh mushrooms.

Then its a case of boiling potatos pasta or rice to have with it while its on

once the buzzer go's off take out the chicken and let it sit while you pour the sauce into a pan and add a little bit of cornflower to it stiring while you do (mix cornflour with water before pouring in)

Then serve. its dead simple and tastes great

[2000curvy]

Starter,

Doritos on a plate, spoon over some salsa, a few chopped spring onions if you wish, grated mature cheddar on top, freshly ground pepper, and under the grill until it is melted. Une piece du pi55 as they say in Paris (probably)

Main

Shepherds pie. Chop up and boil potatoes, dont forget a pinch of salt. Brown mince and leave to drain. Fry some chopped onion and add the mince when the onion is soft. Put into a flat dish and sprinkle a crushed oxo cube over it. Put a tin of baked beans over it (yes really!!) Spoon over the mashed potato and add some more cheese. Cook on a medium heat until golden brown and serve with garden peas with some gravy.

For dessert go to Sains/Asda/Tesco and get a chocolate dessert/cheescake with single cream. Remember, we are blokes, we don't do poncey desserts.

I can't believe I have just typed this into a motorbike forum!!

Hope that helps

Nick

[ChrisSV]

Rice an sea bass is dead easy and don't take long.
Go buy yourself some seabass fillets from the supermarket (morrisons is good), bung em in the oven for 20mins (gas mark 5 or 6).
Then boil some rice on the hob in a pot.

Once all done, put the rice on the plate and lay the fish on top.

Okay, it's not the most colourful dish but it's easy, fast and tastes gooooood :D

[irons]

salmon with mixed herbs, new potatoes with parsley sauce and veg, cooked it tonight from start to finish in 30 minutes and the best bit is you dont have to do much at all

[Sally]

Hell yes, fajitas are the way forward, chuck some chicken in the hot wok, get that cooked almost through, then chuck the sauce in and finish off the meat in that.

Once done, warm fajita wraps in microwave for a couple of mins and then chuck re stuff in them with some salad (perhaps cook some peppers in with the chicken and sauce)

Then under the grill with some grated cheese on top of the rolled up wraps...

I'm dribbling already.... And she will love it!

Cook the chicken with peppers and onions, amazing :)

You're dribbling? She'll be dripping ;)

[metalangel]

Well? What are you doing? And tell us what she does to you afterwards!

[Stenno]

Okay, here's two things you can do:

FAJITAS:
-buy some of the seasoning mix (Discovery do little packs of it), two chicken boobs, a proper sized pepper, and whatever else you want in it (guacamole, salsa, tomatoes, lettuce, grated cheese etc). Also get six or eight (depending on appetite!) flour tortilla wraps.
-prepare the 'whatever else' if it needs chopping. Also, chop your chicken and peppers up. Chicken into chunks as big as you'd eat with a fork without having to cut it, peppers a bit smaller.
-put a tablespoon of oil into a pan, and heat the pan up until the first wisps of smoke appear.
-throw the diced pepper into the pan in and fry them until they start to blacken.
-remove the slightly blackened pepper pieces into a bowl or something.
-add another tablespoon of oil to the pan, and put the chicken in. IMMEDIATELY put the seasoning (as much as you dare!) on top and keep stirring and turning so it coats the chicken.
-after a few minutes, put the peppers back in.
-cut open a chunk of chicken: when it's white inside, it's cooked.
-serve it up!

REMEMBER that fajitas are folded into a pocket, NOT a tube! Fold the bottom up, then fold the sides in.
(I've just typed these from memory, I hope I made them easy enough to follow)

Fajitas all the way! As above, buy a Discovery or El Paso Pack etc with 8 wraps, seasoning and salsa. I usually start with an oily pan, chucking in diced onion until browning, and then long cuts of red pepper, carrot and chopped mushrooms.
Next I chuck in the Quorn chicken style pieces that I had frying in another pan. Chuck in the seasoning too. Remember to keep turning at all times.
Set the table with plates, sour cream, guacamole, grated cheese, warmed tortilla wraps and cutlery. Maybe some white wine and potato wedges too.

To make, stick a warm tortilla on your warmed plate. With the sour cream spoon, spread some on the left hand side of the tortilla. With the guacamole spoon, spread some in the top centre to middle. Next spoon your veg and quorn/meat mix into the guacamole mix. Sprinkle cheese on top. The fold the right side over to the opposite of your mix. Then fold the bottom up. Then fold the left hand sour cream side over which acts as a glue. Then eat!

[Stenno]

OJp6B8jTxPE

[Stenno]

:smt016 Actually, follow this video and you're onto a winner...

YYxO3Y-wOrM

[grh1904]

If you're looking for something easy on a limited cooking experience then why not (sort of) cheat/cut a corner.

Go to your local supermarket (Morrisons do a nice range) and buy the fresh pasta. You can get either the fresh spaghetti or the filled ravioli or tortellini; these are usually filled with something nice like rich beef & red wine.

Next to the fresh pasta are tubs of ready made but tasty sauces to go with the pasta. You could get bolognese to go with the spaghetti or a creamy carbonara or napolitana to go with one of the filled pastas.

The fresh pasta is added to boiling water and simmered for only 2 minutes.

The sauce is just literally poured into a saucepan and heated up, meaning that you could cook this meal in under 5 minutes.

To add a bit more to the meal you could pop a stick of garlic bread into the oven for about 10 minutes before you start the above.

It's uber easy for you to cook what is a really tasty meal to impress the lady & lets face it if she was going out for a meal with the odd glass of wine or 3 with her girlie chums, it's probably what they would be ordering anyway.

[metalangel]

Fajitas all the way! As above, buy a Discovery or El Paso Pack etc with 8 wraps, seasoning and salsa. I usually start with an oily pan, chucking in diced onion until browning, and then long cuts of red pepper, carrot and chopped mushrooms.
Next I chuck in the Quorn chicken style pieces that I had frying in another pan. Chuck in the seasoning too. Remember to keep turning at all times.
Set the table with plates, sour cream, guacamole, grated cheese, warmed tortilla wraps and cutlery. Maybe some white wine and potato wedges too.

Sorry, but carrots??? And WINE? Mushrooms maybe, but fajitas are accompanied by beer! Corona, or maybe some tequila-flavoured stuff. Buy a lime and cut it into wedges to stick down the neck (of the bottle, not your missus) to add a touch of class that's bound to make her gusset more slippery than that of a teenage girl at a Justin Bieber concert.

The folding instructions are good, though. It drives me up the effing wall when I see these adverts for these kits and they have these smug t*ssers folding them into tubes (presumably so, from an advertising point of view, you can see what's inside). You know what'll happen? You'll bite into one end, and EVERYTHING will spill out the other!

Oh, and for GAWD's sake DON'T buy that 'extra mild' kit they've started advertising. Mrs Metal bought them and the result is the most flavourless mush it's ever been my displeasure to eat. Considering how expensive chicken boobs are these days, squandering them on that 'tasty' (a lie) 'flavourful' (also a lie) 'sauce' should be made a capital offence.

[Stenno]

haha yeah carrots work great! Use the peeler to cut nice long flat pieces. As for wine, I'm thinking of his missus!

[keith_d]

It's probably a bit late now and fajitas are very straightforward, so go with them and if you're feeling adventurous try making your own guacamole. Fresh guacamole is best!

In future when you're in the supermarket try to pick up some recipe cards. These are generally very straightforward recipes which have been tried and tested by experts.

[Mr Speirs]

Mince Masetti

Buy yourself: Mince, Mushrooms, Onions, Cambells Condensed Tomato Soup, Cambells Condensed Mushroom Soup, Shell Pasta, Mixed Herbs, Salt and Pepper and Vegetable Oil.

Get 2 saucepans. Make saucepan 2 bigger than saucepan 1.
Stick the oven on to 180 to preheat.

On the hob:
In saucepan 1 put the shell pasta and a tablespoon of oil and cook the pasta.

In saucepan 2 put the oil, chopped onions, chopped mushrooms, mince, salt, pepper and mixed herbs. Cook until mince is not red anymore. Then add the 2 soups.

After a couple more minutes drain the pasta shells (they don't have to be proper cooked) and add to saucepan 2.

Put a lid on saucepan 2 and put it in the oven. Stir after 20mins and serve after 40 mins.

Easy peasy.

[BigBaddad]

A Roast.



evry woman love a good roast:smt101

[metalangel]

haha yeah carrots work great!

8-[

As for wine, I'm thinking of his missus!

Meh. Missuses (missii?) of the org, and unattached women too! You don't mind a beer now and then, do you? You aren't a bunch of stereotypical wine-guzzlers, I KNOW you're not, I saw you at the AR! Yes, you.

Sorry to go on about that, but it drives me up the wall (as you can tell, a lot of things do) the obsession with wine, constant wine, even if it doesn't suit the meal, WINE. Going out for a Ruby? Wine! Mexican? Wine! Pub lunch? More wine! I love wine, when it suits the food!

Pour wine down her throat after you've eaten your fajitas.

[metalmonkey]

So was this how the cooking went then?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAp8j4c2LGs

[Stenno]

8-[



Meh. Missuses (missii?) of the org, and unattached women too! You don't mind a beer now and then, do you? You aren't a bunch of stereotypical wine-guzzlers, I KNOW you're not, I saw you at the AR! Yes, you.

Sorry to go on about that, but it drives me up the wall (as you can tell, a lot of things do) the obsession with wine, constant wine, even if it doesn't suit the meal, WINE. Going out for a Ruby? Wine! Mexican? Wine! Pub lunch? More wine! I love wine, when it suits the food!

Pour wine down her throat after you've eaten your fajitas.

Meh quit your whining :smt037

[The Idle Biker]

"Never feed women big servings, makes them bloated and sleepy and less likely to want a shag afterwards" - Gordon Ramsey

[Milky Bar Kid]

8-[



Meh. Missuses (missii?) of the org, and unattached women too! You don't mind a beer now and then, do you? You aren't a bunch of stereotypical wine-guzzlers, I KNOW you're not, I saw you at the AR! Yes, you.

Sorry to go on about that, but it drives me up the wall (as you can tell, a lot of things do) the obsession with wine, constant wine, even if it doesn't suit the meal, WINE. Going out for a Ruby? Wine! Mexican? Wine! Pub lunch? More wine! I love wine, when it suits the food!

Pour wine down her throat after you've eaten your fajitas.

I'd much rather have beer...

[MisterTommyH]

Well? What are you doing? And tell us what she does to you afterwards!

Ha ha. Nosey.

Opted for simple in the end. Beef lasagne, paprika wedges and cheese and garlic pizzabread with a nice French red.

Maybe I'll get into this cooking lark. Keep referring back to this thread for suggestions. Cheers.

[metalangel]

I'd much rather have beer...

That's MBK and Mrs Metal on my side. And I know Messie likes cider...

[Milky Bar Kid]

That's MBK and Mrs Metal on my side. And I know Messie likes cider...

And GG likes beer...

[metalangel]

Ha ha. Nosey.

Opted for simple in the end. Beef lasagne, paprika wedges and cheese and garlic pizzabread with a nice French red.

Maybe I'll get into this cooking lark. Keep referring back to this thread for suggestions. Cheers.

Glad it all worked out *nudge wink*

Good luck! You'll only get better with practice, don't be afraid but at the same time read all the instructions for stuff first because it's a horrible feeling when the steak is done but the potatoes need another 15 minutes...

I don't mind cooking, there's a satisfaction to being able to sit back and watching everything bubbling away, having some wine (see!) and knowing you've got it all under control, it's gonna taste great, and you can chase anyone who bothers you out of the kitchen.