View Full Version : women???
Now i want ya'll to be my agony aunts (and uncles)
Not very good apparently on the relationship scene.
i been with my girlfriend just over 3 years, i do love her very much!
She's a bit confused right now!
The story:
12 months ago she kissed another guy behind my back at her place of work, we resolved this, and carried on quiet appily into the summer.
about 2 months ago, she tells me she has feelings for another guy at her work, we talked about it, she just said she didnt know what she wanted, we took time appart, and finaly i said to her one night, its now or never kind of thing. And she decided we would carry on.
Today i find that she has secretly been texting this guy still, and this guy and all his mates are now after my address to kick me in apparently (im not a big guy, nor a fighter!)
did i mention she kissed this guy in our time appart, which hurt, that she took her time of thinking, with him.
She says she loves me, and i do beilieve her.
I asked her about these texts when she was at work, and told her that she's now caused these lads to want to kick my ass!
she just got very upset and cryed a lot.
I went back 2 hours later(to check she was okay), and this guys dad was in the shop, and says he's going to bend my nose across my face next time he catches me when he's not with his little lad. Great!
This is because i have apparently been annoying his son.(the one she has/had feeling for)
I know from this, it makes her sound like a really bad person, but she really isn't, she just confused.
Do any of you have any advice or tips?
Just dont know what to do really?
Thanks
sam
xXBADGERXx
07-05-11, 07:50 PM
BIN it
andrewsmith
07-05-11, 07:54 PM
mate walk away!
It could get messy very quickly if not!
xXBADGERXx
07-05-11, 07:57 PM
She has got no respect for you , and not proper love , more like a fondness and familiarity but not a lot more than that . Like a Monkey mate , not letting go of one branch before it grabs the other one , so fell that tree and let the Monkey drop .
sounds like she is not truly happy with you but doesn't know how to break it as she still has feelings and is unsure of the unknown with the other guy.
if it were me i would tell her to bolt. life is far to short for bullshizz.
WTF has it got to do with some random blokes dad anyway. is he knocking her too?
your call though.
husky03
07-05-11, 07:59 PM
tell the bint to rock and roll-don't ever allow yourself to be treated like a doormat, once someone goes behind your back thats it, the trust has been betrayed-and buy a baseball bat
Milky Bar Kid
07-05-11, 08:00 PM
Walk away.
She can't have her cake and eat it. You gave her an escape route before and she didn't take it. I think for yours, and her, sake you should end it.
Absolutely bin it. She pushed her luck with the first kiss, lucky you took her back and she should be acting like an angel to make up for it. She seems to be doing the opposite, and getting involved with people who are clearly scum if they want to kick you in for what seems like no reason other than the fact that you're with her?!
A 'confused' girl usually doesn't work out too loyal, and she has a history of messing about. Leopards never change their spots. Do yourself a favour and get rid of her. Plenty more fish in the sea. You've spent 3 years which is a fair amount of time, but do you want to spend another 3 years on something that may likely come to nothing or cause you more hurt.
Sorry a bit direct, don't know you or your girlfriend, but from your post it's a no brainer. Good luck!!
xXBADGERXx
07-05-11, 08:07 PM
To me , Love is where you care more for the other person than you do for yourself , does this apply to you from your viewpoint and the same from her viewpoint ?
You know the answer lad , and you have to make a decision , it may hurt , but sometimes you have to make difficult decisions for the better . And no matter how much they tell you they have changed afterwards , treat it with suspicion .
Jayneflakes
07-05-11, 08:07 PM
Have her peeled and dipped in a bucket of salt! Aunty Jayne always goes for the reasonable answer... ;-)
andrewsmith
07-05-11, 08:10 PM
Have her peeled and dipped in a bucket of salt! Aunty Jayne always goes for the reasonable answer... ;-)
then hosed in Lemon juice
maviczap
07-05-11, 08:10 PM
fjFzUVCQ1vM
Like the others said
Find someone else who'll not lie to you
short term pain, long term gain
WTF... You need to ask advice on this??? Really???
I would have walked away the first time... Now I'd smash her in the face and then walk away. Silly bitch.
love is where you can watch another guy chat your partner up in a pub/club and KNOW that she is going home with you. i used to find it quite amusing :-)
my wife always said 'why have burgers when you can have steak'.
xXBADGERXx
07-05-11, 08:19 PM
Yeah , if you can have your woman come home to you knowing she has unconditional love for you , not screw around and you trust and believe her , then all is good . This Car Wreck needs to be shown the door .
Specialone
07-05-11, 08:21 PM
Tell her to do one, lifes too short.
He's a fecking tough guy as well ain't he, his dad and his mates have to fight his battles, he's playing about with someone elses girl and he's the one who should be getting a slap not the other way round, cheeky ****.
xXBADGERXx
07-05-11, 08:23 PM
And don`t worry about threats , they are just threats . In fact take the fight to them , steam in and start cracking Skulls
JamesMio
07-05-11, 08:23 PM
Sounds awfy like a long lost ex of mine from years back, I still kick myself for putting up with all those kind of antics. Do yourself a 'massive' favour and tell her to GTF pal, life's way to short to put up with a fanny like this one sounds to be.
Yeah , if you can have your woman come home to you knowing she has unconditional love for you
there were always conditions, and it was usually 'what part of the book were we at' :D
xXBADGERXx
07-05-11, 08:25 PM
there were always conditions, and it was usually 'what part of the book were we at' :D
Kama Sutra eh , you Dirty little Doggy .
kellyjo
07-05-11, 08:28 PM
Take it from someone whos been there, she obviously has feelings for you but its not enough, somethings missing for her to be looking elsewhere, it may only have been a kiss up to now, but later it will be more even if not with this guy.
You obviously want it to work and tbh it sounds like you are making excuses for her because you dont want to face the truth. From the outside i'd say let her go, but I know thats much more easily said than done.
She needs space to decide what she wants.
Why is this love stuff always so flaming complicated?? Have a hug:grouphug:
Why is this love stuff always so flaming complicated?? Have a hug:grouphug:
i'm sorry but true love is not complicated once you have found the right partner in life.
husky03
07-05-11, 08:34 PM
WTF... You need to ask advice on this??? Really???
I would have walked away the first time... Now I'd smash her back door in and then walk away. Silly bitch.
fixed for you mate
fizzwheel
07-05-11, 08:34 PM
She says she loves me, and i do beilieve her.
I'm sure she does, but shes kissed another guy and now has started possibly another relationship with a 2nd guy and has dragged you into a situation where you are being threatened with getting a kicking, where it seems to me you havent done anything wrong.
If I were you I'd call time on it and walk away, but thats easier for me to say than it will be for you to do.
Even if you do sort things out, who is to say she wont go off and do the same thing again in the future. Theres a trust issue here as well IMHO.
Specialone
07-05-11, 08:36 PM
i'm sorry but true love is not complicated once you have found the right partner in life.
Never a truer word said there mate :)
Jayneflakes
07-05-11, 08:52 PM
i'm sorry but true love is not complicated once you have found the right partner in life.
Never a truer word said there mate :)
Awwww, you guys are so on the mark. With the right partner, your heart is always safe and the only hurt you ever feel is the sting of a cow hide whip across your Lilly white backside as she gimps you up and chains you down. :smt103
I love being a Switch, because on Thursdays I get to do it to her! :smt079
Walk away.
Easier said than done I know especially if you have house etc, but for the best for both of you.
there is no friggn way i would have ever let my wife tie me up. i know her all too well and she would have bugged off out and left me there laughing her head off.
Speedy Claire
07-05-11, 09:11 PM
Sam i`m really sorry to read this but let me ask you this....
Do you really want to be with a woman that you know for a fact can lie to her partner? Do you really want to be committed to a woman that isn't capable of respect and honesty? Your partner has a history of cheating on you and although she may justify her actions with psychobabble cheaters can go long periods of time straight but they will cheat again as she has proven. Women like this tend to be extremely effective at deception and as you still love her you will believe anything she chooses to tell you. You`ll believe any of her excuses and justifications because you want them to be true and obviously find it hard to believe that someone you love can treat you so badly and with such contempt.
Personally I feel she is not worth the headache and if you choose to stay with her that is as good as saying that there is no penalty for cheating and you are condoning her actions...... then you will sit back and wait for the next time which will most certainly be in your future
Walk away and as hard as it is don`t look back.... let this other guy have her!! and what will he win? he`ll "win" an untrustworthy woman who he knows is capable of lies and betrayal and wow that`s some prize.... NOT!! Yes it`s going to hurt and yes you`ll feel like your world has come tumbling down on you but you will re-find your self worth and you`ll see this woman for what she really is and not for what you want to pretend she is. A new door can not open until you close an old door, change your life and invite better things in for yourself.
Bluefish
07-05-11, 09:16 PM
Uncle Andy says, bin her, cheating beatch, cliché i know, but there really are plenty more fish in the sea, and don't give her a seconds thought.
Mate, your at the top of a very slippery slope. If you choose to go down it you're gonna be in a rest mess when you hit the bottom.
Do yourself a mega big favour and walk away whilst you can without a huge amount of pain.
fixed for you mate
What he said, get as much riding in while you can then bugger off when it gets too dangerous ;)
andrewsmith
07-05-11, 09:21 PM
Mate, your at the top of a very slippery slope. If you choose to go down it you're gonna be in a rest mess when you hit the bottom.
Do yourself a mega big favour and walk away whilst you can without a huge amount of pain.
Made that mistake! A friend has also made this mistake (her's was with my ex best mate).
Getting out is better than the base and what can happen there!
kwak zzr
07-05-11, 09:41 PM
Too much hastle Sam, life's too short! a hastle free life is a good one :)
SoulKiss
07-05-11, 09:42 PM
Well I'm not going to give any advice on this, I don;t think that its every anyones place to tell someone else what to do with their life.
All I will say is that its a decision that you have to make for yourself, it sounds to me like you have made your mind up anyway, and I suspect that this post is more a running it past people to see if they think you are in the right or in the wrong.
Your call to make, and your decision to stand by when you make it.
Believe me, I know its not easy, it's going to hurt, but in the end, you'll get through it, and probably come out a stronger, better person for it.
Chin up and always find something to smile about.
yorkie_chris
07-05-11, 10:15 PM
.Org relationship advice:
For f*cks sake Don't admit to owning a smart car.
Awwww, you guys are so on the mark. With the right partner, your heart is always safe and the only hurt you ever feel is the sting of a cow hide whip across your Lilly white backside as she gimps you up and chains you down. :smt103
I love being a Switch, because on Thursdays I get to do it to her! :smt079
Needs to pass this girl onto some local expert in depravity armed with a load of tape, a selection of high voltage implements, a bottle of tabasco sauce and a camera :)
If you're going to get rid, do it in style.
She loves you but clearly not enough. You're probably a lovely dependable guy and she is undeserving of that, but she's using you to fall back on. You're her comfort zone. And the fact you're debating issue, she's your comfort zone too.
Being alone is scary and leaving her will be painful, but you both need to move on and create better lives.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
thedonal
07-05-11, 10:31 PM
Walk away from that. Hurts now? It'll keep hurting as long as you keep entertaining it.
Just walk away.
MisterTommyH
07-05-11, 10:44 PM
Being alone is scary .
Just don't use that as an excuse not to do it.......
It's really not that scary. It's ace.
yorkie_chris
07-05-11, 10:50 PM
Being alone is scary and leaving her will be painful,
Being alone means you're guaranteed intelligent conversation and leaving her means as many nights down the pub and filthy tarts as you want.
Positive thoughts man!
Being alone means you're guaranteed intelligent conversation and leaving her means as many nights down the pub and filthy tarts as you want.
Positive thoughts man!
What that man says, does it get any better? :p
davepreston
07-05-11, 11:09 PM
a quote for our friend girth
here love take down this number
0 1 2 1 fecking do one
walk away infact run away, with a thanks for the memories, heres your ****
dont become one of those mates who everyone pities or laughs at behind your back cos your mrs is a houre
and do it now before it escalates further and never ever ever take her back, even if she crawls over broken glass while being dowsed in vinager while reciting word perfectly the entire writings of william shakespear
hth
Bluefish
07-05-11, 11:17 PM
*****.
That was the correct spelling of wh ore.
Walk... don't even bother telling her the why's and wherefores.
Bluefish
07-05-11, 11:20 PM
I knew Daves would be good, 0121 ****ing do one, quality, ;)
Being alone means you're guaranteed intelligent conversation and leaving her means as many nights down the pub and filthy tarts as you want.
Positive thoughts man!
<Saves post for MYC's attention when she gets back from Craggy Island>
your a Sagittarius... and the moon is in the path of saturn...
Fecking dump the Bitch .... well rid, get a life = move on..
enough said :0)
get on your bike and enjoy the freedom
your a Sagittarius... and the moon is in the path of saturn...
Where's the 'Uranus' line... eh, eh? Even McFly managed to get it into one of their songs.
Bloody amateurs... <walks off mumbling>
u-rated Lozzo :0)
you know the score :0)
thefallenangel
07-05-11, 11:43 PM
Tits or Tyres = Trouble!
u-rated Lozzo :0)
you know the score :0)
McFly have Stargirl played on the radio often enough and that has the famous "When I fell in love with Uranus" line in it.
I'm sorry, but the juvenile in me can't help but near pi55 myself whenever I hear that song.
From what you say, my advice would be get rid and do it now. The messing about's bad enough but then she's telling you about it?? Sounds like she wants the drama. I don't see why these lads are threatening you unless she's been telling them stories.
Does she have difficulty maintaining friendships with other women by any chance? That's the number one marker for a bunny boiler IME.
I wouldn't be too worried about the threats. The really serious guys just get on with it. Baseball bat just in case though. ;)
Well if you are finishing with her....
Got any pictures you would like to share with ze org? ;)
xXBADGERXx
08-05-11, 12:32 AM
Well if you are finishing with her....
Got any pictures you would like to share with ze org? ;)
I have never been so proud of you Sally :cool:
-Ralph-
08-05-11, 05:13 AM
You're 20 years old, you were very unlikely to have found your partner for life anyway, and you have loads of women left to shag, and loads of time to find somebody so much better.
I don't disagree with Bibio and Specialone, because I know what they meant, once you meet the right girl, relationships are not complicated romantically. And they are not even complicated emotionally or practically when times are good.
But, coming from parents who divorced after 22 years, and having been through a major split myself, I'm not naive enough to say that once you find the right girl, it can never go wrong, circumstances change and life changes. Every relationship needs commitment and hard work, and recognising that no status quo ever lasts forever, and expecting life to change and throw you a few curve balls, actually helps you to cope and work through that change as a couple, and come out the other side together, when it does inevitably happen.
Where Bibio and Specialone's statement is bang on is romantic complications, involving other people. When you've found the right person, you just don't consider having a relationship with another person. That only happens when either the commitment and hard work has failed and the relationship has reached a natural end anyway, or when you didn't have the right person in the first place. The exception to that though, where unfaithfulness can happen, even though you are with the right person, is when not enough commitment and hard work was put in by one party, or the other, or both the first time around. Where unfaithfulness happens in those circumstances, both parties can realise that, correct it, and start afresh going on to have a successful relationship.
You'll never find perfection, there's no such thing as being 100% right for each other, and every relationship needs compromise on both sides, but whilst I agree with Soulkiss that we are not really in a position to comment, as we don't know you, her, or all the facts, I'm going to take a wild guess and say you don't need this **** now, and she's not the right girl.
rodders
08-05-11, 08:29 AM
First of all nice to see so much good advice from the people of svland.
Trust is the most important thing, when it is gone you aren't getting it back.
You should have say thanks but no thanks when it first happened, now you hurt and need to make yourself feel better. So organise a nice romantic meal then tell her that the only way to show true love is with with back door action (never tried it, not really interested but would be a good conversation starter) then dump her.
If you still haven't got back you spring in her step then tell her you have a crush on her mum and she loves you too. In for a penny in for a pound.
On a serious note take the short term pain get it over with anything else is only going to keep hurting you.
In the wise words of a mate of mine "think about it what would you rather say I f***** your mum, or I f***** your mum in her a**"
Have I over stepped the mark again?
Not read all the replies but you should walk mate. Don't kid yourself that she loves you and is a nice person, she isn't.
I had a girlfriend like this once and she was sleeping with everyone behind my back, but in my eyes she was great, love struck I guess....
Just get rid and move on, there is so much better out there!
The wife says you must be the confused one when you have to ask a public forum if you should get rid of a lying cheating silly girl. I think the answer is pretty obvious. If I did this to my wife my bike and balls would have been wrecked by now and out on my ear if I was left alive!
:smt071:smt021 then :crutches:
Get rid and enjoy getting :drink:
Jayneflakes
08-05-11, 10:41 AM
the juvenile in me
:smt103
I am not sure that is legal! :smt082
I know, I am such a child! Loves you Lozzo...
*hides*
I knew a guy once who had a girlfriend who cheated on him with his best friend. He was outraged, dumped her and had the dog put down! :p
Being on your own is great, it gives you time to really find out who you are, to find inner peace and to sleep with as many tarts as you can find. I miss being young... :evil:
kellyjo
08-05-11, 10:49 AM
God, you lot have got me thinking and now im wondering if i shouldnt be single (AGAIN!!).
Thanks for that!!! :p
Iansv II
08-05-11, 11:48 AM
You even need to ask ?
Ditch
aaron020873
08-05-11, 12:12 PM
Well if you are finishing with her....
Got any pictures you would like to share with ze org? ;)
:winner:
seriously ditch the b**ch, and go clock some miles up...
a1istair
08-05-11, 12:40 PM
You even need to ask ?
Ditch
Seems like a unanimous verdict!
I think if you put a vote on this..............
ditch the Bxxch = 99.999999999 %
undecided =0.000000001 %
she needs time to grow up ............... give around 50 years...
listen to the mighty ORG. we give good advice.
Dave Mac
08-05-11, 01:28 PM
sleep with her then bin her
that way you get to use her too
;)
-Ralph-
08-05-11, 02:30 PM
Lets ease up on the comments berating the OP for asking the question eh? We don't know all the facts and plenty of people, including some couples on this forum, have worked their way through an infidelity and decided to stay together and are making a success of their relationships. The OP is not to blame because he came on the forum and asked for some opinions.
Milky Bar Kid
08-05-11, 02:33 PM
If your good looking you could come visit me?? ;)
Joking...
MisterTommyH
08-05-11, 03:40 PM
^^^ She says she joking, but that sounds like an offer to me mate.
There you go. Things are looking up already.;)
If your good looking you could come visit me?? ;)
Joking...
Deal.
xXBADGERXx
08-05-11, 05:07 PM
sleep with her then bin her
that way you get to use her too
;)
Oh and the story will end like this .
Dear President Jeremy Vine , about 15 years ago I was in a bad relationship , it was bad for my self esteem and it was destroying my soul . I went and asked advice on a Public forum , as we were known to back in the days when the Internet was sent down a cable to computers rather then the way we do it now . An almost unanimous verdict of "get rid of the snivelling , cheating sack of cack" was the general consensus . One guy called "Dave Mac" suggested we sleep together one last time before I get rid of her . Unfortunately this encounter ended up with us being Britain`s latest couple to produce Octuplets . You may remember my picture in the Newspapers , I was the one that was forcing a smile through enamel-cracked teeth with my Harridan of a girlffriend (who subsequently kicked me out once the sponsorship deals faded away) . Anyhoo, what I wanted to ask again is this ...... Do I hunt Dave Mac down with a Bowie knife and wear his ears as a necklace for his "Advice" to me , or just gut him like a kipper on the spot and bathe in his innards ?
What ? ... it could happen you know :)
Fruity-ya-ya
08-05-11, 05:11 PM
Do yourself a favour and get rid of her.
Sorry a bit direct, don't know you or your girlfriend, but from your post it's a no brainer. Good luck!!
Couldn't have put it better mi sen. ;)
SoulKiss
08-05-11, 05:26 PM
Deal.
She said good looking Sally... :p
Deal.
lol [-X we could have a queue forming
sleep with her then bin her
that way you get to use her too
;)
but make sure you set up a camera in the room then if you get anymore crap from the big hard men just show em the tape and laugh loudly.
plus you could always post it to youporn so we could all have a watch.
Dave Mac
08-05-11, 06:15 PM
Oh and the story will end like this .
Dear President Jeremy Vine , about 15 years ago I was in a bad relationship , it was bad for my self esteem and it was destroying my soul . I went and asked advice on a Public forum , as we were known to back in the days when the Internet was sent down a cable to computers rather then the way we do it now . An almost unanimous verdict of "get rid of the snivelling , cheating sack of cack" was the general consensus . One guy called "Dave Mac" suggested we sleep together one last time before I get rid of her . Unfortunately this encounter ended up with us being Britain`s latest couple to produce Octuplets . You may remember my picture in the Newspapers , I was the one that was forcing a smile through enamel-cracked teeth with my Harridan of a girlffriend (who subsequently kicked me out once the sponsorship deals faded away) . Anyhoo, what I wanted to ask again is this ...... Do I hunt Dave Mac down with a Bowie knife and wear his ears as a necklace for his "Advice" to me , or just gut him like a kipper on the spot and bathe in his innards ?
What ? ... it could happen you know :)
if guy 1 introduces guy 2 to a gal and guy 2 ends up with an itchy scratchy bit is it guy 1's fault?
advice is there to be given, you dont have to take it, but think of the fun when you kick her out :p
Sam, if your bike gave you this much trouble, what would you do?
You're a great bloke and you'll find someone else very soon.
I can't understand why people are threatening you. What have you done wrong?
Time to move on.
Have you bitch-slapped her around the neighbourhood and put her private videos online yet?
BanannaMan
09-05-11, 05:14 AM
There must be at least 50 correct answers to the original post already but here's 50 more..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXyIt5szp38
(ace cover!)
Make a new plan Svsam.
Save yourself time and heartache.
Been there and it only gets worse.
It's not really love if you are the only one loving.
Where Bibio and Specialone's statement is bang on is romantic complications, involving other people. When you've found the right person, you just don't consider having a relationship with another person. That only happens when either the commitment and hard work has failed and the relationship has reached a natural end anyway, or when you didn't have the right person in the first place. The exception to that though, where unfaithfulness can happen, even though you are with the right person, is when not enough commitment and hard work was put in by one party, or the other, or both the first time around. Where unfaithfulness happens in those circumstances, both parties can realise that, correct it, and start afresh going on to have a successful relationship.
+1 - you have gone up in my estimations my dear man.
I cannot give you any advice on this just hope that it come out for the best
i read the first few pages, so dunno if anything else has been uncovered .... i cant be arsed to read through all of the replies... quick question, why does this man want to give you a hiding? surely if rolls were reversed and you were doing the kissing behind his back he'd want to but not as you are the current "boyfriend". something doesnt seem right there to me
anyways, as has been mentioned by many a poster, get rid. it'll hurt but short term pain for long term gain and all that
Pedrosa
09-05-11, 10:00 AM
From someone who stayed loyal way too long and in the end gained no overall satisfaction. Move on as soon as possible my friend. She really is not worth what you feel for her.
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