Not the most intelligent person I've met

[-Ralph-]

We live slap bang in the middle of a new-build village. 56 Hectares, 1000 lovely new houses, about 7 years at the oldest, the majority much younger. It was built on a completely green field site and is surrounded by farmland. Other than the odd farmhouse, the nearest "traditional" village with older buildings, is 3 miles away.

I have just had a double glazing salesman knock on the door!

Doh!!! Somehow I doubt he's making much commission today...





"Sorry the house is rented, it would be the landlord you need to speak to"

"Oh, OK, does he live here?"

"No, but why would you want to speak to him anyway?"

"Because he's the property owner"

"What are you doing here?"

<Blank look?>

"What are you doing here?" (Pointing around at all the other houses)

"I'm just going door to door to see if anyone is interested in new doors or windows"

"You're in a new build village. Nobody needs new windows"

"Oh yeah, well er, some people might be building an extension"

"You'd order a new extension, but wouldn't have ordered the doors and windows?"

"Oh, well, er yeah, thanks for your time anyway"

:smt044

[Bri w]

Bit like the fire escape salesman that turned up at mum & dad's BUNGALOW

[Geodude]

I was once unfortunate enough to have worked as a double glazing door knocker and we were dropped at brand new estates all the time to 'explain' to the new home owners that their new build windows were of bad quality! Mind you i had a few sales in brand new houses?

[DJFridge]

Muppet! Never sold double glazing myself, although I did spend a week going door to door selling wall coating treatments. It was a hideous experience -

"Are you the home owner?"
"Yes"
"Would you be interested in (sales spiel)?"
"Yes, erm, no. I couldn't make that decision."
"Oh, why not?"
"I just live here, the landlord would have to pay for it."
"Landlord?"
"Yes."
"So you're not the home owner."
turns and yells up stairs, "Brian, there's a man here asking strange questions.."
Time to move on, Brian looks scary...

Happy days!

[Red Herring]

Are you sure he was actually selling something...?
It's the oldest dodge in the book to see if anyone is in, who they are, and most importantly to get a gander in through the front door to see where the car keys are left...

[metalangel]

I was once unfortunate enough to have worked as a double glazing door knocker and we were dropped at brand new estates all the time to 'explain' to the new home owners that their new build windows were of bad quality!

Had one of these clowns tell me 'oh, are you sure you don't want new ones? These are discoloured!'

No, butthead, they're just a bit dirty because I can't be bothered to clean them yet!

[Bluepete]

A salesman knocked on a while ago.

I was in the kitchen slicing onion for tea and without thinking, just went to the front door.

Strange how the man ran off when confronted with a 6" 2' tall bloke with a huge kitchen knife in hand, crying his eyes out!

Nevr did find out what he wanted...

Pete ;)

[454697819]

A salesman knocked on a while ago.

I was in the kitchen slicing onion for tea and without thinking, just went to the front door.

Strange how the man ran off when confronted with a 6" 2' tall bloke with a huge kitchen knife in hand, crying his eyes out!

Nevr did find out what he wanted...

Pete ;)

u sure this story wasnt..."in the bedroom" and "wearing chaps" to replace the knife and cutting onions?

[LankyIanB]

Mate of mine received a telephone cold call a few years ago asking if he wanted a conservatory - he said yes. He kept them on the phone for about 25 minutes asking lots of questions and appearing really interested, when they asked for directions he told them, 99 xxxxxxxxx Road, Basingstoke, park over there, walk along the path, through the main doors up the stairs and I'm the first door you come to on the first floor!

The line went dead..... didn't they want the sale?

[Bri w]

I find its best to tell them I need to ask my carer before I talk to them.... works everytime

[Jayneflakes]

I find its best to tell them I need to ask my carer before I talk to them.... works everytime

This is brilliant! :D

I am a support worker for disabled adults and some of the shops I go in with the wife know me because of my job. Sometimes, just to annoy the wife I pretend to support her, as if she is one of my clients. Not sure if she goes red through embarrassment or anger! :smt077

Yes, I am that mean!