If you could click your fingers and excel at something what would it be???

[Specialone]

As title, if you could click your fingers or download into your brain ( matrix style) and instantly have the knowledge and skills to be an expert at one thing, what would it be?

Mine would have to be guitar I think, can't play it at all but I know this would give me the most enjoyment.

[mattSV]

excel

[Specialone]

excel

Excell

[Littlepeahead]

Pole dancing - because I have all the flexibility of a plank normally.







Ooops - did I say that out loud.







Let me rephrase that - what I actually meant was to be able to read Latin, of course

[maviczap]

Probably being able to play an instrument of any sort well

Make blingy things on a lathe

Weld

Be able to ride like Bradley Wiggins

[dizzyblonde]

I'd like to excel at singing, because usually I end up singing like this.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WymFqsyJLZQ&feature=related

WymFqsyJLZQ&feature

[Tim in Belgium]

Surf.

[Jordy]

I would say sex but then I remembered I'm already an expert at that so... Cooking! :D

[TazDaz]

Abilty to perfectly predict the stock markets.

[andrewsmith]

Race involving two wheels

[Mr Speirs]

Predict lottery numbers to a 99.9% accuracy.

Something realistic though...I'd like to be able to be able to run my own company successfully.

[Bri w]

Be 20 again, but with all that I've learned in the last 50+yrs

[SIII]

To play ice hockey good enough to earn a living!

Spent 10 years trying but was still useless when i packed in, that was after too many injuries.

[Ed]

Play piano properly instead of being rubbish at it.

[-Ralph-]

Pulling women and sex! Why do you even need to ask that question?

[DJFridge]

I'm with specialone on this - knowing how to play the guitar would be right up there. In my youth I spent all my hard-earned (about 300 quid) on a guitar and it would be great to actually know more than 3 chords. Specially as my eldest is getting interested and I can teach him virtually nothing! Mind you, 3 chords was enough for Status Quo...

[Mr Speirs]

I've always maintained that learning guitar is easy!! Really easy. I reckon I could teach specialone to play guitar to within a reasonable level within a month.

All you need to do is learn to move your hands into a A C D E G F B position and you could play every oasis song or other song you want. Whislt it may not be precise it would get you playing along. Enough to spark something to get you willing yourself on.

[Specialone]

Yeah but I've got big banana fingers, my nephews showed me a few rifts where your fingers are stretched miles apart.

I'm always hitting two keys when typing on a pc keyboard, strings ate a problem for me.

[keith_d]

Obvious choice is making money, followed by understanding women.

But ruling out the impossible choices I'd probably go for learning languages.

[allantheboss]

Basketball!

[Mr Speirs]

Yeah but I've got big banana fingers, my nephews showed me a few rifts where your fingers are stretched miles apart.

I'm always hitting two keys when typing on a pc keyboard, strings ate a problem for me.

It's true there are some chords that require some stretches but the fact it's the basic ones don't. And the difference between hitting two notes and once and the intended note is dexterity, which will only come with practice. There are plenty of guitarists with bigger fingers than you that make a career out of it.

[carelesschucca]

Football - not a big fan of the sport but hey I'd be rich.

[Seggons]

Pulling women

I'd settle for just this. :lol:

[DMC]

Pulling women and sex! Why do you even need to ask that question?

Is this some sort of fetish thing? I would imagine they would find it strange whilst you were clicking your fingers :confused:

[thulfi]

Be the best fighter pilot out of all the elite pilots in the country and be the first human to fly to mars.

[keith_d]

I'd rather be the first human to return alive from Mars...

[Kilted Ginger]

Animal psychology, i'd quite like Dr Doolittle like abilities but thats a wish rather than being able to excel at something.

[Shawthing]

Photographic memory.
Being able to recall all the info i've been exposed to.
Instead of it goin' in one ear and out of the other.

[Fruity-ya-ya]

Either:

To be fluent in every language.

Or

To be able to grow facial hair without it being patchy.

I admit one is more useful than other but having tried growing a beard over the last few weeks, I've concluded they are both as difficult (at least for me).

[danf1234]

gynaecology

[dizzyblonde]

Play piano properly instead of being rubbish at it.
why, are you a bit Les Dawson?
WWDphFwocAM

I've always maintained that learning guitar is easy!! Really easy. I reckon I could teach specialone to play guitar to within a reasonable level within a month.

All you need to do is learn to move your hands into a A C D E G F B position and you could play every oasis song or other song you want. Whislt it may not be precise it would get you playing along. Enough to spark something to get you willing yourself on.

Yeah but I've got big banana fingers, my nephews showed me a few rifts where your fingers are stretched miles apart.

I'm always hitting two keys when typing on a pc keyboard, strings ate a problem for me.

I can play guitar, but the winged one with smashed banana hands can play far better..........for a Les Dawson;)
Seriously, he has difficulty these days, but you can tell he was far better before the hands were smashed:(

[Specialone]

gynaecology

You gota be kidding right, i wouldnt do that job for 4 times my wages :puker:

Its not all fit birds who keep themselves clean you know, fat, stinky mongs as well, no fecking way.

[danf1234]

You gota be kidding right, i wouldnt do that job for 4 times my wages :puker:

Its not all fit birds who keep themselves clean you know, fat, stinky mongs as well, no fecking way.

I would be so good at it I would be able to be choosy. I have spent most of my life dealing with Cnuts!


OK, failing that a Bra fitter in Marks and Spencers then!

[dizzyblonde]

OK, failing that a Bra fitter in Marks and Spencers then!

ewww only old women shop for bras at M&S!!

[danf1234]

MILF's?

[Dave20046]

finger clicking champion of the world

[andrewsmith]

MILF's?

Nope
GUWT's

[danf1234]

Cack, best stick to making chocolate bars then!

[Littlepeahead]

I would be so good at it I would be able to be choosy. I have spent most of my life dealing with Cnuts!


OK, failing that a Bra fitter in Marks and Spencers then!

Dan, at least go for somewhere upmarket - such as Agent Provocateur. Although to be honest I'm not sure how much expert fitting these things require? But if you've had experience with gaffa tape then that probably qualifies you already.

http://www.agentprovocateur.com/search.php?Query=tassel&search=GO

[myfirstsv]

A) Pulling twin Polish sisters (say about 22 years old) with pony tails

B) being able to do cardiac massage on myself cos of (A)

[missyburd]

Animal psychology, i'd quite like Dr Doolittle like abilities but thats a wish rather than being able to excel at something.
With you on that one!

Dance otherwise for me. Done a bit but to be able to do a bit of everything pretty well would be amazing.

[minimorecambe]

Play the guitar here also.
Always wanted to learn but no one to teach me :(

[Jordy]

A) Pulling twin Polish sisters (say about 22 years old) with pony tails

Why Polish? Not that I'm knocking it! Lols

[Jordy]

Play the guitar here also.
Always wanted to learn but no one to teach me :(

I could teach you Bass? But I would expect something in return because I'm a busy man.

[minimorecambe]

I want to play acoustic really.

What would be the something in return?

[Jordy]

I want to play acoustic really.

What would be the something in return?

You can pick up an acoustic pretty cheap, and just have a few paid lessons to learn the basics, then just practice, practice, practice. Have you got the voice to go with it?

I'm not sure really, depends what you have to offer? :)

[minimorecambe]

Me, voice, no :p

I might steal Wideboys guitar and blow the dust off it :)

[dizzyblonde]

You don't need anyone to teach you to play guitar, you can teach yourself.

However I seem to recall Slash was an astounding teacher :)

[Macpauley]

Picking winning lottery balls or surfing...

[hongman]

Dan, at least go for somewhere upmarket - such as Agent Provocateur. Although to be honest I'm not sure how much expert fitting these things require? But if you've had experience with gaffa tape then that probably qualifies you already.

http://www.agentprovocateur.com/search.php?Query=tassel&search=GO

Cheers LPH, thats my Xmas lust (I mean list) sorted this year :D

And my work list for the next few months....

To answer the question though, making money!

[missyburd]

Play the guitar here also.
Always wanted to learn but no one to teach me :(

You don't need anyone to teach you to play guitar, you can teach yourself.


+1 to DB's reply. I wanted to learn so just found a chord sheet online - something similar to this:http://www.guitar-players-toolbox.com/images/basicchordchart.png

Then messed about. I don't have time to play much now but if I stick at it I can rattle a few tunes out, if you're determined you can suss it for yourself :)

[The Idle Biker]

The hardest thing I've ever had to do is raise two kids, so I'd like to click my fingers and excel at being the perfect Dad.

[dizzyblonde]

+1 to DB's reply. I wanted to learn so just found a chord sheet online - something similar to this:http://www.guitar-players-toolbox.com/images/basicchordchart.png

Then messed about. I don't have time to play much now but if I stick at it I can rattle a few tunes out, if you're determined you can suss it for yourself :)

Whats all that.......I didn't even do that, listened then played....I couldn't tell you what chords are which, its just there on the fret board!

Seriously, I do have a chord book, but its usually hiding under a load of other books, its as useful to me as that, way too complicated lol

[Geodude]

Understanding women :)

[andreis]

The ability to forever be able to click my finger and excel at what I want?
(You know, extend it forever :) )

[missyburd]

Whats all that.......I didn't even do that, listened then played....I couldn't tell you what chords are which, its just there on the fret board!

Seriously, I do have a chord book, but its usually hiding under a load of other books, its as useful to me as that, way too complicated lol
Yeah but we all know you don't like reading about riding from books so why would you want to learn music from one :-P

It helped me. I tune my guitar by ear but when I was learning I wasn't going to rely on ear to learn chords. We all learn differently!

[dizzyblonde]

We do all learn differently :)
I never tune mine by ear, I used to until I started jammin with much more talented people, and found the guitar has always been out of tune(embarrassingly), although intune with itself :(.

I have a little box I got for a fiver, it hears you play a string that flashes red or green for in or out. Its firmly placed under Petes nose when he puts my guitar out of tune....does that a lot, he can't hear it but I can, its them fat sausage broken fingers bending strings like Beckham!!!!! grrrrrrr

[Mr Speirs]

A) Pulling twin Polish sisters (say about 22 years old) with pony tails

Never understand the old 'pulling twins' thing...as soon as you get into the bedroom it becomes a bit incestuous.

And then you realise you have just pulled two complete weirdos.

[missyburd]

I have a little box I got for a fiver, it hears you play a string that flashes red or green for in or out.
Tis called a guitar tuner :-P

[Specialone]

Never understand the old 'pulling twins' thing...as soon as you get into the bedroom it becomes a bit incestuous.

And then you realise you have just pulled two complete weirdos.

Yep I agree, two hot friends is ok, two sisters is wrong.

[hindle8907]

, two sisters is wrong.

Speak for your self.

[Owenski]

2 sisters is very wrong if they touch too!
urghhhhghghh 100% wrong, if you dont see why just reverse the genders.

[hindle8907]

2 sisters is very wrong if they touch too!
urghhhhghghh 100% wrong, if you dont see why just reverse the genders.

There not my sisters so I'm not Ass-ed ! lol

[andreis]

2 sisters is very wrong if they touch too!
urghhhhghghh 100% wrong, if you dont see why just reverse the genders.

That simply isn't true... You can't just reverse the gender, you lose the tenderness in the process and, of course, 'cause it's a double standard. The sex industry proved that a long time ago..

[Owenski]

The gender reversal is to prove the logic, the logic been that Its incest! Im concerned about how many people are defending it, what sort of forum have I joined here. Do me a favour count all your fingers and toes and confirm you've 10 of each please.

Pokey pokey sibling is baaaaaddddd, be it same sex or not. Imagine ur a female and you've got a girlfriend who one day asks her brother to join in the fun, at what point do you say "hang on... this isnt for me". Hopefully its before you find yourself smoking a cig and recounting the disgcusting act that has just taken place.

[andreis]

Well, dear sir, since we are talking logic, let me introduce to you the proof of incest:

You have 2 parents, each of which has 2 parents (your grandparents), each of which has 2 parents and so on.
So, your ancestors grow in number as a power of 2 as you go back in history... Which means, N generations ago, you required 2^N different ancestors.. But hold on, the total population of the earth is finite, hence there exists a level of ancestry, N_0, for which 2^N_0 > total_earth_population... which means some of your ancestors must of coincided, e.g. someone played the pokey pokey with his wives sister and they all lived to have children (and he was probably already related to said sisters..)

So you see, mathematically, we are all based on incest :D

How's that for perverted science?

[metalangel]

Having sex with your wife's sister isn't incest, it's adulterous.

[andreis]

Having sex with your wife's sister isn't incest, it's adulterous.

Now you're just nitpicking

[The Idle Biker]

Having sex with two sisters is OK, if they have sex with each other, it can freak you out a bit at first.

How did this thread drift so far? Who started it down this line?

[hindle8907]

if i had never met the sisters before and wouldn't see them again after the act unless for more sex, I would have no issue what so ever taking part with two sisters and them doing stuff with each other.

[Owenski]

Well, dear sir, since we are talking logic, let me introduce to you the proof of incest:

You have 2 parents, each of which has 2 parents (your grandparents), each of which has 2 parents and so on.
So, your ancestors grow in number as a power of 2 as you go back in history... Which means, N generations ago, you required 2^N different ancestors.. But hold on, the total population of the earth is finite, hence there exists a level of ancestry, N_0, for which 2^N_0 > total_earth_population... which means some of your ancestors must of coincided, e.g. someone played the pokey pokey with his wives sister and they all lived to have children (and he was probably already related to said sisters..)

So you see, mathematically, we are all based on incest :D

How's that for perverted science?


LOL extra effort points for you with that post!

However evolution would mean that during that original incestuous act its impossible the mating couple would have been homo sapian, homo ergester is our direct assention from apes but still animal in both appearance and mentality. and we all know animals simply dont give a do hicky what they pokey pokey lol so the guilty ones in your equation had no concept of morality.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_evolution

in·cest (http://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/ibreve.gifnhttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/prime.gifshttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/ebreve.gifsthttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/lprime.gif)
n.1. Sexual relations between persons who are so closely related that their marriage is illegal or forbidden by custom.

[Owenski]

if i had never met the sisters before and wouldn't see them again after the act unless for more sex, I would have no issue what so ever taking part with two sisters and them doing stuff with each other.

a - ewwwww
b - ewwwww
c - slightly impressed by how manly your thought process must be
d - ewwwww
e - realising you would prob stick ur corn on the cob into anything moist
f - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

[hindle8907]

a - ewwwww
b - ewwwww
c - slightly impressed by how manly your thought process must be
d - ewwwww
e - realising you would prob stick ur corn on the cob into anything moist
f - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW


loool , corn on the cob :D

The probability of me getting offered this sexual act is 0000000.1%

I'm happily nearly-married lol so cant stick my corn on the cob into anything other than the same thing it has been in for the past 6 years.

but in all honesty its not a problem for me, the way I see it they are just two hot chicks who want a three-sum.

Be them sisters or not they are not my relations so too right I would.

lets say you was single and I some how persuaded Hayley Duff and Hilary Duff to walk into your room naked and get them to start doing stuff your telling me you would close your eyes and tell them to get out. ?

yeah rite ..........

[timwilky]

Having sex with your wife's sister isn't incest, it's adulterous.

Only if you get caught. Otherwise it is..... ahhh the memories.

[metalangel]

Ah, so it's only adultery if you get caught! A bit like other crimes then?

[Owenski]

while they're touching me its game on, they so much as look at each other in a "how you doin" sorta of a way and its OI DUFFS NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! in a harry enfield stylee

[Littlepeahead]

I thought this was a motorcycle forum. Maybe SV stands for something different to what I thought.

(Now I come to think of it I have dated brothers - though not at the same time!)

[missyburd]

I thought this was a motorcycle forum.

It is, and this is Idle Banter, therefore not motorcycle specific ;)

Besides, this thread has kept me entertained.

I would like to excel at righthand Uturns on hills if we have to keep to motorcycles. Although this would mean I need an extra half-inch of leg :rolleyes: :p

[andrewsmith]

It is, and this is Idle Banter, therefore not motorcycle specific ;)

Besides, this thread has kept me entertained.

I would like to excel at righthand Uturns on hills if we have to keep to motorcycles. Although this would mean I need an extra half-inch of leg :rolleyes: :p

:winner:


Andreis, Kudos for the maths based answer

[-Ralph-]

Nowt wrong with doing two sisters, even on more than one or two occasions ;-)

Though those two sisters didn't actually meet until a year or two beforehand, so I guess the dynamic is different.

One of those two sisters quite liked a Menage a Trois as it turned out, the other one I lived with for 6 years.

My view, whilst you're young, live your life! ;-)

There's loads of time for monogamy, kids and a lifelong commitment, and IMO if you've played the field when your young, your better equipped to succeed in marriage. I've never been near another woman in the 10 years since I met my wife anyway.

[The Idle Biker]

This post needs developing, go on ... We need dates, first names some description and if possible some photos. Regards Mr warm ankles.

[thulfi]

The law of probability states that if two sisters are up for doing it with some other dude at the same time, they're gonna be pretty fugly.

[-Ralph-]

The law of probability states that if two sisters are up for doing it with some other dude at the same time, they're gonna be pretty fugly.

Probability didn't come right in this case then.

[thulfi]

Both at the same time?!!

[-Ralph-]

What would a Menage a Trois be otherwise, a Menage a Deux? :lol:

[thulfi]

Where and how du bag that one?

2 sisters, both hot, both want to do you, at the same time. Gotta be far and few between. Or maybe you're packing 12 inches.

[-Ralph-]

I was going out with one of them, we lived in a student bedsit and the bed was the only comfortable place to sit. First time it happened was early hours of the morning, the three of us were sitting/lying on the bed drinking, chatting, listening to music, started playing spin the bottle, there was a question about sexual experiences, conversation turns to menage a trois, the sister wanted to try it, girlfriend agreed. Right place at the right time.

[thulfi]

damn

[myfirstsv]

A) Pulling twin Polish sisters (say about 22 years old) with pony tails

B) being able to do cardiac massage on myself cos of (A)
Mea Culpa. Got that a bit wrong...

Can I change to:

2 x 22 year old Polish blondes with pony tails?
The cardiac massage would still be useful...

And I could play one of my guitars to them:

Fender Strat
Rally Tree of Life Les Paul
Stagg Electro acoustic
Raimundo 138 Spanish

If you want to learn, which seems to be a favourite then get a tutor, £10-£15 an hour and loads of structured practice*

Don't think you can play Stairway to Heaven straight off cos you know the chords.*I only use to ba able to play two songs. One was "the streets of London" and the other one wasn't...

Having said that there are a few self taught*exceptions:

Eric Clapton
Eddie Van Halen
Prince*
Mea Culpa.

Can I change that to:

2 x 22 year old Polish blondes with pony tails?
The cardiac massage would still be useful...

And I could play one of my guitars to them:

Fender Strat
Rally Tree of Life Les Paul
Stagg Electro acoustic
Raimundo 138 Spanish

If you want to learn, which seems to be a favourite then get a tutor, £10-£15 an hour and loads of structured practice*

Don't think you can play Stairway to Heaven straight off cos you know the chords.*I only use to ba able to play two songs. One was "the streets of London" and the other one wasn't...

Having said that there are a few self taught*exceptions:

Eric Clapton
Eddie Van Halen
Prince*
BB King
Jimmy Page (mostly)
Jimi Hendrix
BB King
Jimmy Page (mostly)
Jimi Hendrix

[myfirstsv]

Sorry that came out in duplicate for some reason

[Littlepeahead]

It is, and this is Idle Banter, therefore not motorcycle specific ;)

Besides, this thread has kept me entertained.



I just went onto a website that sets you up in a threesome with siblings and asked if they could offer any advice on which tyres to buy for my SV. They seemed to think that this was a strange question.

[carelesschucca]

i just went onto a website that sets you up in a threesome with siblings and asked if they could offer any advice on which tyres to buy for my sv. They seemed to think that this was a strange question.

This post is useless without the link!!! ;)

Wonder if Dannii and Kylie are ever on that site!!! Fingers crossed

[andreis]

Wonder if they'd be willing to fit it too...

[flymo]

Cack, best stick to making chocolate bars then!

lol, you just reminded me of a pal who genuinely was a Fudge packer :-)

http://www.cadbury.co.uk/ourproducts/today/Pages/productDetails.aspx?category=bars&product=fudge