View Full Version : Supermarket Sod's Law
myfirstsv
27-10-11, 11:32 PM
Why does at least one thing you have in your basket have no barcode on it and cause a 5 minute wait while they get a replacement?
Why do Pensioners with trolleys use your ankles for target practice?
Why do "Friends Reunited" meetings always take place in front of the things you are trying to buy
Anyone got any more?
Why do I always pick the trolley with the dodgy wheel!
Why do children have to skid on their knees directly infront of me!
How come I always manage to pick the slowest checkout lady/man!
Bluepete
28-10-11, 05:22 AM
Why do people always stop and chat right by the doors?
Why do they then leave the trolly at 90 degrees to the shelves so you can't get past?
My recent favourite is when said barcode is missing and the till person pushes the red button and waits patiently for the "till manager" to come waddling over. If there's no reaction within a few seconds, I ask for the name of the till manager and yell it as loudly as I can! Gets an astonishing result every time!
Oh, and ladies, pyjamas are not acceptable to go shopping in. That little stain tells a long, sad story...
Pete ;)
The Idle Biker
28-10-11, 06:43 AM
Why do the self service tills have such an annoying voice and why do they even need to give me so many flaming instructions. I hate being told what to do.
If I go to a staffed till why do I always get the twit who throughs the goods down faster than I can possibly pack.
Why do i really like that reference above to ladies in pyjamas and stains? Ha ha it's true :-)
Sir Trev
28-10-11, 07:07 AM
How come when you get back to your car in the pretty empty bit of the car park some **** in a twenty year old Escort has parked milimeters from your drivers door which they whacked when they squeezed themselves out?
wyrdness
28-10-11, 07:24 AM
Why do old coffin-dodgers go to supermarkets at midday when everybody who has a job is shopping in their lunchtime? The oldies could easily go in the morning or afternoon when the shops are quieter.
Geodude
28-10-11, 08:10 AM
People who leave their trolley in the middle of the isle and walk off :smt021 if it happens near me i put things in the trolley they dont want :p
Specialone
28-10-11, 08:13 AM
Why do old coffin-dodgers go to supermarkets at midday when everybody who has a job is shopping in their lunchtime? The oldies could easily go in the morning or afternoon when the shops are quieter.
Nope, they are too busy clogging the roads, mways and public transport at these times.
Specialone
28-10-11, 08:19 AM
Oh, and ladies, pyjamas are not acceptable to go shopping in. That little stain tells a long, sad story...
Pete ;)
I seen one the other week at a local tesco express, pj's, boots and a load of slap on her face, wtf? Less slap= more time to put clothes on, also whats so fecking important at 9.30 am that can't wait another 5 mins to shove some jeans and a top on? It also implies that they are going back to bed when they get home, lazy c**ts .
Bluefish
28-10-11, 08:58 AM
Pet hate, do you need any help with your packing, well i managed to put it in the trolley, i recon i can put it in bags.
Dicky Ticker
28-10-11, 09:02 AM
SELF CHECKOUT--If I wanted a job as a checkout person I would apply for one
Local Asda---two employees standing by the self checkouts chatting and only one on the tills which had a large queue so I asked for them to put somebody on the tills to be informed that they were operating under the managers instruction. I was given a complaints book to fill in which by the time I was finished was like War and Peace and I got six customers to sign it besides myself and then sent an E-Mail to head office.When the manager eventually came he said it was now company policy so I said that if the two staff chatting had nothing to do they could busy themselves putting the £100+ of shopping in my trolley back on the shelves and walked out leaving all the shopping in the trolley as my protest.------silly I know but it made me feel better
I am still waiting after about two weeks for a reply
LARGE SUPERMARKET CHAINS DO NOT SEEM TO HAVE ANY CONCERN OVER CUSTOMER SATISFACTION OR EVEN SEEM TO CARE
Why do I have to be preached every time about saving the planet and be reminded to buy a bag for life? Every time I ask for the regular "free" bags, I get that condescending and ignorant look like the planet is going to die because of me ...
Owenski
28-10-11, 10:21 AM
The look of distane on a shelf stackers face when you remove an item they've just neatly placed.
How about stacking the shelves when you're closed the making there display now unbalanced.
Counter side of that is the frustration of getting to the milk shelves to find they're empty but been able to see a trolly full of cartons just through the doors into cold storage (happens regular at our tesco).
Tills been closed when there are multiple people in ques of people on all the others, its busy ffs - take your break when the shops quiet or when someone can come and take over your terminal.
keith_d
28-10-11, 11:14 AM
Why do I always end up behind the checkout operators friend, who has to spend 20 minutes gabbling on unintelligibly about some mutual aquaintance's baby?
Why do supermarkets insist on stacking yesterday's bread in front of the new delivery. They must have realised by now that people just shove it out of the way to get to the fresh loaves.
Why can't supermarkets use the same policy as my local and have some nice looking women working on the tills?
Why do dirty old men hang around the Frozen foods aisle ?
Owenski
28-10-11, 11:48 AM
I dunno, why do you?
metalangel
28-10-11, 12:47 PM
Pet hate, do you need any help with your packing, well i managed to put it in the trolley, i recon i can put it in bags.
It's not being patronizing, that's called 'customer service', it's something they've decided to try and introduce in the UK, albeit slowly.
The alternative is for the cashier to revert to the old way, which is to hurl the stuff through as fast as she can and then just sit there and look pee'd off.
See also: Dicky Tickler's comment:
SELF CHECKOUT--If I wanted a job as a checkout person I would apply for one
LARGE SUPERMARKET CHAINS DO NOT SEEM TO HAVE ANY CONCERN OVER CUSTOMER SATISFACTION OR EVEN SEEM TO CARE
have to disagree a little there. the ASDA in kirkcaldy is the best supermarket i have ever stepped foot in regarding customer satisfaction. staff are polite and very helpfull, its usually well stocked, clean and efficient. even at silly o'clock times (3am) they will open a till if you have a trolley full of shopping. ok so i have had a few disagreements with some of the staff about pricing but thats just me being me :-)
the jewel in edinburgh on the hand is a feckin joke of a place.
The look of distane on a shelf stackers face when you remove an item they've just neatly placed.
How about stacking the shelves when you're closed the making there display now unbalanced.
Counter side of that is the frustration of getting to the milk shelves to find they're empty but been able to see a trolly full of cartons just through the doors into cold storage (happens regular at our tesco).
Tills been closed when there are multiple people in ques of people on all the others, its busy ffs - take your break when the shops quiet or when someone can come and take over your terminal.
again at my local asda. if there are cages full of goods and i want said goods i just help myself and if i'm spotted they ask if i want a hand which i usually say no or if the tape needs slit i hand it for them to do then take what i need, never had a bad look from the staff for doing it. another thing is that if there are no items in cages or on the shelves i ask if there are any been delivred and they go look threw the back for me.
tigersaw
28-10-11, 06:50 PM
200 trolleys outside big enough to take a mini metro and no small trolleys or baskets
myfirstsv
28-10-11, 11:25 PM
People who leave their trolley in the middle of the isle and walk off :smt021 if it happens near me i put things in the trolley they dont want :p
That is brilliant!!! Must try it
DarrenSV650S
28-10-11, 11:57 PM
Why do they never have ben & jerrys on half price when I'm in?
Destruktor77
29-10-11, 12:32 AM
People who leave their self checkout station to go and get something they've forgot, pay for the stuff you've scanned, and go back in afterward.
When something is reduced, more than a few times they whack the sticker over the bar code but don't replace it with a new one.
While re-stacking the selves they leave those massive cages in front of the stuff I want, then get moaned at when I move it out the way.
When I buy Alcohol there's no one around the put the 'Age Restriction' code in, but ever other time... two employees standing by the self checkouts chatting
BanannaMan
29-10-11, 03:31 AM
People with a trolley so overloaded they can barely push it in the "10 item's or less" line, and the stores could care less.
Excuse me, 395 fricking items is more than 10.
SELF CHECKOUT--If I wanted a job as a checkout person I would apply for one
:winner:
PMSL
Nice one mate!
metalangel
29-10-11, 08:00 AM
People who leave their self checkout station to go and get something they've forgot, pay for the stuff you've scanned, and go back in afterward.
Counterpoint: Here in the Wales, we now have to pay 5p per bag as per Assembly law. This means the self-service ones don't have bags, they're carried around by the little tart who monitors the checkouts. She was nowhere to be seen, so I turned to the immediately adjacent proper checkout to grab a bag for life so I could scan it (to pay for it!) and put my stuff in. I turn back to see some guy fiddling with my screen wondering what all these items are because he wanted to start scanning his.
"Pardon me, but... I'm not done here yet!"
People with a trolley so overloaded they can barely push it
You don't know the half of it. UK shopping carts have all four wheels pivot, not just the front ones. Heavy cart, you try to turn it... oh, the cart itself rotates, but momentum keeps it going in a straight line. :smt092
"10 item's or less" l
This annoys me. The sign should read "10 items or fewer".
A sign in Asda displayed "about 10 items or less" for the self service checkouts. Yes, what about them? Argh! :mad:
missyburd
29-10-11, 10:08 AM
Checkout girls who can't talk nine to the dozen AND scan items at the same time, multitasking my ar$e...
Rude people who can't take two seconds of their time to pop a "next customer please" divider after their items on the conveyor belt.
Got to love a traditional Brit rant thread :p
People who leave their trolley in the middle of the isle and walk off :smt021 if it happens near me i put things in the trolley they dont want :p
:cool: That thought amuses me a lot.
People who leave their trolley in the middle of the isle and walk off :smt021 if it happens near me i put things in the trolley they dont want :p
This works better if you can pile in an array of embarrassing items, condoms, cucumbers, anusol, etc etc
I hate people who dawdle around the supermarket as if they have all day.
Or who stand right in front of the stuff I want.
But thats generally a people rant and not specifically a supermarket rant.
Geodude
29-10-11, 03:56 PM
I have chucked in the above quite a few times :p they will learn not to leave an unattended trolley ;)
Dave20046
29-10-11, 04:41 PM
Multipack items being more expensive than them bought individually.
Baskets/trolleys only being available at the entrance so if you decide you want to buy more than what you originally went in for or want to stock up you either have to get tackled by a security guard or ditch the stuff and come back to it - but you still look like a shoplifter.
Dawdlers / ignorant people.
And of course self service checkouts, mostly because they never ever get the weight right so constantly need an assistant to come over. It's always awkward about the weights if you pack it in the bags as you go along, assistants always tell me to bag it up after but then you get a queue of eyes on you while you frantically try and seperate their superglued bags!
100% agree about the oldies too, it doesn't help a lot of supermarkets have cafes now and friendly staff to humor them.
Pet hate, do you need any help with your packing, well i managed to put it in the trolley, i recon i can put it in bags.
Agree! But they've told me before they're instructed to ask everyone in case someone has a disability which isn't immediately visible or something.
metalangel
29-10-11, 04:57 PM
assistants always tell me to bag it up after but then you get a queue of eyes on you while you frantically try and seperate their superglued bags
PROTIP from Tesco checkout lady: Lick your index finger and thumb, pinch the bag, move fingers in opposite directions.
Dave20046
29-10-11, 05:09 PM
PROTIP from Tesco checkout lady: Lick your index finger and thumb, pinch the bag, move fingers in opposite directions.
That usually does the trick, but I was faffing about with them for literally 5 minutes lastweek when I nipped into asda for a few bits. I ended up trying to tear them just to get an opening, shaking them, putting them between my palms and rubbing, and obviously lots of pinching and picking and finger licking. I was sure there was somesort of reality tv filming going on. I eventually got one and had to leave a pile of decimated bags behind the checkout.
Pet hate, do you need any help with your packing, well i managed to put it in the trolley, i recon i can put it in bags.
I always thought it was so they could get rid of you quicker so they could spend more time talking to their mates on the next checkout.
I dislike people packing my shopping for me.
squirrel_hunter
29-10-11, 10:02 PM
Pet hate, do you need any help with your packing, well i managed to put it in the trolley, i recon i can put it in bags.
I reply reassuringly in a similar condescending tone to that they have used with me that, "It's ok, I've done it before".
As a tip, if you don't understand computers or have more than a basket, don't use the self service till. If you do use the self service till and it requires the 'Attention of the Assistant' don't just stand there with a blank look on your face in the hope that they will see your need of attention. Call them over, shout to them if you have to, they are there to help you not have a conversation with a friend.
Stuff on offer (usually beer or cider) where there's a big empty space. It was never on offer to start with, they just shoved up a label and shoved everything aside
Sainsburys advertising their credit cards over the store speaker system, I came here to get milk not a feckin credit card and most deffo not a feckin card at 16.9% APR
When I ask at the deli counter for 500g of cheddar and they cut off a bit that's 750g and ask 'is that all right?', no I don't want a bit that's half as big again as what I asked for
4pm Sundays when they turn out the lights on you to get you out the store, GRRRRRRRRRRRRR
At the till - 'do you have a Nectar card' - no and I don't bloody want one neither
At the till - (some) women who are never ready to pay, when the clerk says 'that's £50.37' they look like they're surprised they have to pay. Compare with men, wallet or card ready, just want to get out the place
myfirstsv
29-10-11, 11:19 PM
On the plus side whoever is the Butcher at Morrisons in Redditch got his sums wrong and Sirloin was cheaper than Rump steak today. Very nice it was too.
Dave20046
30-10-11, 10:21 AM
Multi-buy packs! Spent £75 for 1 yesterday :( atleast I'm stocked up on some stuff for a while though. Guess that's what happens if you go shopping with half an hour to spare :smt009
On the plus side whoever is the Butcher at Morrisons in Redditch got his sums wrong and Sirloin was cheaper than Rump steak today. Very nice it was too.
Same at sheffield yesterday, think it might just be the stuff that's running short on sell by date maybe? Few days left on the one I bought. Although I'm sure I prefer rump, always seems to be juicier and less fatty.
Dave20046
30-10-11, 10:27 AM
When I ask at the deli counter for 500g of cheddar and they cut off a bit that's 750g and ask 'is that all right?', no I don't want a bit that's half as big again as what I asked for
Made me chuckle, they always seem to be on another planet behind the counters.
Getting ID'd for a lottery ticket (then having to go get your wallet) only to be told as you're handing it over "I know you're over 16 but I'm not quite sure if you're over 25"
:roll:
4pm Sundays
Just that, never mind the rest. I know supermarket staff won't feel the same, but it's fecking stupid.
It's a long time since I was ID'd *sigh*
Dave20046
30-10-11, 10:44 AM
It's a long time since I was ID'd *sigh*
:lol: it's an inconvenience honestly.
Doing half your shopping with a few bears on the conveyor belt, go through all the rigmarole picking stuff up, putting it on the belt, half bagged some of it. Happily show your driving licence, only for them to turn and ask your 26 year old mate behind for ID. (who doesn't carry any)
"you could be buying it for him"
"what and take my heavily bearded 12 year old friend to the local park and get him off his head on lager and raw shallots?"
The manager backed the assistant up, despite their policy being to ID anyone under 25. And the fact he had separate purchases behind me and I had a fair bit of shopping. What happens if you make small talk with someone in the queue behind you?!
Supermarkets are OTT with it.
metalangel
30-10-11, 02:31 PM
We got ID'd in Derby. Rather, the missus did, the cashier asked who was paying, as if she was, she'd need ID. I said I was paying, and that I'm 31 and she's 30.
"Oh, that's okay then" said the cashier.
I dislike people packing my shopping for me.
Yeah. Especially when they're discouraging the use of bags, when the cashier packs your bags and puts like two jars into the bag and then shoves it down to you as 'completed'... WTF? If they try that crap now they're charging 5p they've got another thing coming.
On a related note, I bought some posh chicken pasta thing from M&S for lunch, it says 'keep flat' on top so it doesn't get all smear around the inside of the container. The 5p bag I was 'sold' would barely hold a bag of pork scratchings, never mind my expensive pasta thing level.
dan9878
30-10-11, 02:51 PM
Never been id'd to buy a lotto ticket and im a lot younger than 25. Asking people older than 21 for id is stupid anyway.
Dave20046
30-10-11, 02:55 PM
I've been ID'd more times for lottery tickets then I have for booze this year.
I've been ID'd more times for lottery tickets then I have for booze this year.
We need to protect the young from the evils of gambling:lol:
MisterTommyH
30-10-11, 04:51 PM
Yup, 4pm Sunday is bloody annoying!
Got to say though, the supermarket round here is pretty good except when they keep moving things round as they built an extension. Some of the others in town are so bad that I won't go there.
Dave20046
30-10-11, 09:11 PM
I think you're onto something Ed
myfirstsv
30-10-11, 10:15 PM
Morrisons today behind a women at the self checkout:
She's buying a loaf of bread, nothing else
a) Which bit of "touch the screen to start" did she miss?
b) After the assistant had shown her how to do that bit...
c) "Do you have your own bag?"
d) After about a minute she hits "yes", I assume cos she's got her handbag with her
e) She waves the bread vaguely at the scanner
f) Nothing happens cos she hasn't shown it the barcode
g) She puts the (unscanned) loaf in the Morrisons' plastic bag cos she actually doesn't have her own bag
h) "Unexpected item in bagging area" says the machine
i) Wait for 2 minutes for the assistant to reset the machine....
....and back to (a) again
She was still there when I'd scanned my stuff, paid for it gone and bought a paper...probably still there all for a loaf of bread
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