Oh my gosh, talent

[Mrs DJ Fridge]

We have just discovered that our 11 year old boy has a huge talent jumping ponies, any advice as to our marriage regarding Mum chasing round after youngest son and Dad looking after oldest, any help greatly appreciated.

[Bluefish]

He can jump over a pony, get him in the olympic high jump squad quick ;)

[missyburd]

Failing that I think the circus is hiring :-P

[The Idle Biker]

I wouldn't dream of giving you marriage advice, but if you're going to start mixing with the Sussex horsey set, then I would suggest that you both brush up on your elocution dear, wot wot wot, hurrah, spiffing! ;-)

[gruntygiggles]

Suck it up for a few years. If he really is talented, he will be spotted and given a place on a competition yard at 16 or so OR when he is that age, you can look for a job for him on a pro jumping yard and theses are almost always live in positions. It is how the best of the best did it, minus those whose parents have their own successful yards.

It is very much about networking when progressing with equine sports. Meeting the right people and getting your son on the right ponies. He is at the perfect age to nurture it if he wants this. There is great potential in show jumping now, but only the most committed get to the top.

I set up work experience for an orgers daughter on the eventing yard of badminton winner Paul Tapner last year. Get your son opportunities like that...not work experience yet, but training days with top riders/instructors and if he has the talent, he will get the rides.

If you want any advice or contacts, or if you are offered anything and are unsure, just shoot me a pm and if i can, I will help.

[-Ralph-]

DJ Fridge, my wife keeps talking about our son riding ponies, and I keep steering him back towards the cars and the motorbikes. Motocross gear and helmets are cool with the boys at school, jodphurs and silly hats are not. You need to get this sorted out quick.

;-)

[davepreston]

pm mrs giggles
she's a dressage champion and all her family do the horsey thing

[Mrs_giggles]

Not putting your son down or anything but when you say talent what we talking?
I have ridden horses since the age of 4 and as gg says a lot of it depends upon the horse as well as the rider. Horse riding is a very conpetitive and expensive hobby to persue and places at good yards are hard to come by, although location in the country can affect your choices or lack of.
Can't advise you re effect on marriage but my mum took me everywhere whilst i was competing and was happy to do it but then again it was her hobby too, and if your son has to be at competitions training multiple times a week are you willing to do it.
This can include getting up on ungodly sides of 6 am on weekends.
Also your son is 11 bear in no.d that he will be starting high school and the discovery of girls.all that said if he really wants it and is really talented then that's great a good on him.

[myfirstsv]

We have just discovered that our 11 year old boy has a huge talent jumping ponies, any advice as to our marriage regarding Mum chasing round after youngest son and Dad looking after oldest, any help greatly appreciated.
True story, stick with me on this...

Many years ago I was on a golf trip to Scotland. We had a late addition to the party who seemed (and was) a nice guy, until we drove past a riding stables on the way into Ayr. At which point he completely lost it and went off on a rant about ******* riding schools

Later over several beers he gave us the tragic story:

He bought his *12 year old daughter a set of horse riding lessons for her birthday. Cost about 10 quid.

She loved it and showed promise so she had to have all the kit, hat, boots etc.

And cos she's really doing well in mini competitions on the stable *nags she now needs her own pony. Mother and daughter pester until he gives in. Without thinking that you actually need to garage and feed horses and they need vets...

And with her own pony the daughter did really well but to progress to the next level needed a proper horse *to compete in regional events. So they did a part-ex on the pony and got a proper show jumper.

But that meant a horse box to go to the competitions and his car wasn't big enough to pull it so he had to buy a 4x4

He reckoned in the 4 years it had cost him well over £75k and that is at 1986 prices.

And the best bit, she was now 16, had discovered boys and given horse riding up....

[Lozzo]

Only boy I know who does alot of horse riding stuff is 17 years old and doesn't bother with girls, probably because he's a blatant uphill gardener.

[Mrs_giggles]

True story, stick with me on this...

Many years ago I was on a golf trip to Scotland. We had a late addition to the party who seemed (and was) a nice guy, until we drove past a riding stables on the way into Ayr. At which point he completely lost it and went off on a rant about ******* riding schools

Later over several beers he gave us the tragic story:

He bought his *12 year old daughter a set of horse riding lessons for her birthday. Cost about 10 quid.

She loved it and showed promise so she had to have all the kit, hat, boots etc.

And cos she's really doing well in mini competitions on the stable *nags she now needs her own pony. Mother and daughter pester until he gives in. Without thinking that you actually need to garage and feed horses and they need vets...

And with her own pony the daughter did really well but to progress to the next level needed a proper horse *to compete in regional events. So they did a part-ex on the pony and got a proper show jumper.

But that meant a horse box to go to the competitions and his car wasn't big enough to pull it so he had to buy a 4x4

He reckoned in the 4 years it had cost him well over £75k and that is at 1986 prices.

And the best bit, she was now 16, had discovered boys and given horse riding up....


My point exactly, I was trying to be nice about it as I have done all that to national level and I'm not one to trample on peoples dreams but in current financial climate the points you make are even more relevant.

[ravingdavis]

This seems like a shame to me. Which people who have made it big in any field that requires big investment have had people that they rely on give up on them through doubt and nay saying?

[gruntygiggles]

I would not worry too much about the marriage and the effects this could have on it. A strong marriage will survive. A marriage with cracks mat not...but that speaks volumes of the marriage itself, not the final reason for it failing.

I had the horse, the talent, the backing of my parents and the opportunities...but I didn't have the desire to compete. I live training horses, not competing, so I let other riders compete my horse. Partly due to not wanting to move away from home at that age.

Truth is, for every 1000 kids that show talent, maybe 1-2 end up successful professionals.
You have to nurture it and encourage, but make sure the child is prepared for disappointment. For it to cost 72k over that amount of time is not unrealistic if you are not clever about how you do it.

Your son is 11, nobody knows him as well as you, so only you can know how committed he will be. If you believe he really wants it. Call one of the top yards, PM me your area, I will put you in contact with a top rider near you if you want. Set up a lesson and tell the rider that you would like to have an appraisal of your sons riding. Don't tell your son this...just let him enjoy the lesson.
The rider will be able to tell you truly how much natural talent your son has, how much work he still needs and how you can move forward. Also...if the rider really does think he is something special, they will remember him. Get him repeat lessons and when he is 14, ask if he can volunteer in the holidays. He will get to ride horses that can teach him and open the gates to brilliant opportunities.

It doesn't always have to cost a fortune. Best way...rent a field of 6+ acres, put up some timber stables or a large field shelter and put stalls in it. Find a really talented older pony, 10-15 years old that has done it all before and advertise livery available. You could keep two more horses on that amount of land at say, 15 quid a week for grazing and shelter and that will cover your rent on the field and some, if not all of the costs of the pony you have.
Expenses then are competition clothing, training, entrance fees, transport (easy to buy a reasonable trailer for not too much), fuel insurance, and so on. It isn't cheap...but it is a lot cheaper than buying a pony good enough to give your son a chance, keeping it on someone else's yard and paying them livery and buying everything new.

If your son needs new clothing, look in local papers...I never had a new show jacket and I didn't care.

So...if you have a good marriage and go into it with your eyes open...there is no reason it can't work for you all. Just make a real point of having family days all together and date nights for you and hubby!

Mrs. Giggles will tell you this as well if you ask her...if your son really really wants to do this....Don't just get him jumping lessons. By far the most important part of training is flatwork. Dressage teaches horse and rider everything they will need to communicate in the show ring and be supple and athletic enough to do the job at hand.

Good luck, but make sure you get impartial opinions on his talent. Listen to what people tell you.

Regarding his age and if it is worth it or not given that he might give it all up when he discovers girls etc...well, that might happen, it might not. I personally don't see that any investment of time and money into a child's happiness can ever be wasted.

:-)

[DJFridge]

Thank you very much for all of your comments, especially Mrs Giggles and Gruntygiggles, it is all very helpful, a few things that I should have mentioned, I came from a competition yard, his Grandfather won Carriage Driving Champion at HOYS this year, his Aunt was a Grade C National championship winner in the 1980's and still competes to top level. My reason to worry was that I know what is involved and we had to sit him down and check that it is what he really wants to do to the exclusion of everything else, not just to please me. Hubby has finally seen him ride his new pony and despite knowing nothing about horses seems very pleased with the pony.

Date night set for every week, babysitter already booked, family tradition that will NOT be broken.

Oops logged in on hubby's password, silly fool has auto log in on main computer, usually use lap top!

Mrs DJFridge

[gruntygiggles]

Thank you very much for all of your comments, especially Mrs Giggles and Gruntygiggles, it is all very helpful, a few things that I should have mentioned, I came from a competition yard, his Grandfather won Carriage Driving Champion at HOYS this year, his Aunt was a Grade C National championship winner in the 1980's and still competes to top level. My reason to worry was that I know what is involved and we had to sit him down and check that it is what he really wants to do to the exclusion of everything else, not just to please me. Hubby has finally seen him ride his new pony and despite knowing nothing about horses seems very pleased with the pony.

Date night set for every week, babysitter already booked, family tradition that will NOT be broken.

Oops logged in on hubby's password, silly fool has auto log in on main computer, usually use lap top!

Mrs DJFridge

Well then go for it. You are clearly able to tell that his talent is real and it sounds like he will have amazing support.

So long as nobody gets left out you should be fine. Just put a few little notes in places you only loo every now and then reminding you why you love each other and that in a few years, it will just be the two of you again.

Good luck...scary sacrifices ahead, but it must be so exciting :-)