View Full Version : For sale - water
After reading about the plight in South East England I thought I would offer up my services to forum members affected by drought.
I have three large barrels I collect rain water in for washing my bike. However, in the spirit of 'we're all in this together' I am happy to let them go to a dry home if needed. Why barrels? Well in this blessed corner of north Shropshire it's always firkin raining.
Let's call it £50 a barrel which excludes postage. Oh yeah, please stick the barrel back in the post to me when done, or float it back up the cut. That's a canal to you non-Midlanders.
If you want to make a bulk purchase I can look into sending it to you as ice cubes for you to store for the BBQ season.
Whilst I cannot vouch for it being water from the tears of Helen of Troy or of the baby Jesus, he has a lot to be upset about these days up on that cloud, so it might well be. The water is in excellent condition, has fallen less than 3 miles and filtered through the moss on my roof giving it a fresh natural earthy taste, and it makes a delicious cup of tea or glass of squash. Or you can add it to your whisky for that true peaty flavour.
There is no way the water could be contaminated as my chickens pee in the garden and not when they perch on my roof, I think, and it should be fresher than and taste better than water from a Brita filter.
Only yesterday I drank some from my pewter mug whilst standing outside getting wet admiring all the precipitation I have.
You will also found that your hair feels much softer and luxurious to the touch whilst having a magnificent shine to it if you upgrade from Thames Water water.
PM me if interested.
Ed
DJFridge
21-02-12, 11:48 PM
Where is your entrepreneurial spirit? Can you not pipe it down to us parched Southerners? I shouldn't have to pay for delivery, I mean not in this day and age. And I bet somebody on eBay has it cheaper.......
But the ebay seller is based in Nigeria, so it can't possibly be true.
As for paying for delivery, I am coming to London soon, and I could recycle some for you in the old fashioned way, when I meet you at Euston station please be on time and please bring a large jug.
Bluefish
21-02-12, 11:54 PM
Well we have even more up here, if any of you southeners have a long hose pipe i can connect it up to my tap, don't worry our reevoirs are full and i'm not on a meter :D
Red Herring
22-02-12, 07:58 AM
Only reason we haven't any water is cos we have baths and wash our bikes down here....
Ed, I'm always wary of 2nd hand water... has it been passed by the mgt??
timwilky
22-02-12, 08:16 AM
No wonder southern beer tastes like p1ss, that is all the wet they have to make it with.
Nice and wet up here, steams/rivers flowing nicely.
454697819
22-02-12, 08:35 AM
were all confused..
Ditches are full with water which normally run dry...
Lakes look full, so do reservoir's?
Please keep our northern water.. you need it to make your life blood gravy.
-Ralph-
22-02-12, 08:44 AM
Don't be fooled by it, the constant drizzle & rain makes them all depressed!
Their gardens are always muddy and their roofs are always leaking, their cellars are always damp, and they can't leave anything in the attic without it going mouldy. There's no point chamois leathering the bike or car because 10 minutes later it'll be wet again, whether they put it in the garage or not.
They are drowning in the stuff so trying to sell some of it to us.
The Guru
22-02-12, 09:05 AM
I'm surprised Mr Salmond hasn't already made it Scotlands primary export.
Only reason we haven't any water is cos we have baths and wash our bikes down here....
Must be a big bath to get the bike in?
Paul the 6th
22-02-12, 09:10 AM
Has it seriously not rained darn sarph for a long time now?
Starting to think the weather has some kind of severe onset depression up here lately. The odd day where it's bright & mild & optimistic that things might improve, but then back to dark grey murky skies, which, on some days are so depressed, it can't even be bothered to rain properly or for very long.
maviczap
22-02-12, 09:27 AM
Has it seriously not rained darn sarph for a long time now?
Yep, we were saved by last years snow fall which topped up the reserviors
I'm bringing back a load of Welsh water this weekend, I'm gonna nick it, coz I'm a geezer ain't I, you ain't seen me roight ;)
Dicky Ticker
22-02-12, 09:30 AM
As Guru stated----Perhaps that is what he is planning,in which case Scotland is f*****g rich-very rich as it seems they have more than an adequate sufficiency of the stuff
Brettus
22-02-12, 09:31 AM
Our company has a house in North Devon that is fed off a well and the well has run dry, unlucky for the new tenants! Thankfully our mill next door is run off a deeper bore hole but its made a few people wonder just how deep....
andrewsmith
22-02-12, 09:44 AM
We've got ample amounts in Europe largest reservoir. Its currently 95% full and is 25 years supply for us!!!
We've got ample amounts in Europe largest reservoir. Its currently 95% full and is 25 years supply for us!!!
Sssshhh! Don't tell them about Kielder and the beautiful (empty) countryside/roads up here..... *I didn't mention Kielder did I?*
dizzyblonde
22-02-12, 10:07 AM
Peg is currently in talks with a small film company, who are very interested in promoting 'water donations' to the south. The advert they wish him to star in, contains his daily commute on the M62 on the bike, rolling past Scammonden 'waterfall' reservoir and the 'The Lakes' of Saddleworth Moor.....
.....Perhaps you could contact them Ed, they are very keen on promoting keen entrepeneurs willing to work with lots of water :D
I am of course taking the michael, it ain't frickin stopped bloody raining here for 6 months, the amount of dry days within those six months probably sumounts to about two weeks, the Halifax Triangle contains half of Yorkshires Water! It was a dry day yesterday....so why did it only stop raining for two hours? Winter has supposedly been the worst on record.....where? for 3 weeks in total spread over 3 months, and the rest was rain?
Scammonden is so full, its overflowing like a great big geeeeezzzaaa, where the hell they put the excess is anyones guess!
yorkie_chris
22-02-12, 10:09 AM
It was a dry day yesterday....so why did it only stop raining for two hours?
That is a dry day!
dizzyblonde
22-02-12, 10:12 AM
Well me and you know that.....but them poofs down South would think it was torrential flooding :lol:
kellyjo
22-02-12, 10:12 AM
What is this 'rain' stuff you keep referring too...
-Ralph-
22-02-12, 10:36 AM
It's water falling from the sky KellyJo. Anyone living West of the M1, or North of Leicester, seem to suffer from it a lot more than we do. It's tough living in the driest corner of the UK, but somebody has to do it! :lol:
MisterTommyH
22-02-12, 10:58 AM
The amount of water we have would be more than adequate to supply everyone if the water companies would keep their infrastructure up to scratch.
We have to collect and treat significantly more than we use because their pipework is crap and just pours it all into the ground.
andrewsmith
22-02-12, 12:57 PM
Sssshhh! Don't tell them about Kielder and the beautiful (empty) countryside/roads up here..... *I didn't mention Kielder did I?*
I was thinking more along the lines of deadwater
We have to collect and treat significantly more than we use because their pipework is crap and just pours it all into the ground.
.......and above sometimes too http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-16922627 apparently this put a several million litre hole in our local reseviors.
Apparently East Anglian water contacted Ed to see if he could supply 30 million litres a day to them, unfortunately this was slightly too much for his disco and water butts to handle so he declined the business and they went elsewhere, some people just don't know how to make a fast buck nowadays. Shame on you Ed. :D
Daryl.
maviczap
22-02-12, 03:12 PM
Keep you're over priced H2O Ed
Its raining the free stuff here in the driest of dry places on the East Coast :p
andrewsmith
22-02-12, 03:14 PM
Apparently East Anglian water contacted Ed to see if he could supply 30 million litres a day to them, unfortunately this was slightly too much for his disco and water butts to handle so he declined the business and they went elsewhere, some people just don't know how to make a fast buck nowadays. Shame on you Ed. :D
Daryl.
Apparently they've went to Iran to provide the supplies (well they need export something else in the spare oil tankers)
yorkie_chris
22-02-12, 03:17 PM
The national security concerns at that haven't been thought through, leaves us open to attack by muslim suicide plumbers
andrewsmith
22-02-12, 03:24 PM
The national security concerns at that haven't been thought through, leaves us open to attack by muslim suicide plumbers
:notworthy:
Don't talk to me about fecking rain, you can take ours, with pleasure.
Red Herring
22-02-12, 03:51 PM
The national security concerns at that haven't been thought through, leaves us open to attack by muslim suicide plumbers
I heard a leak that this might be a further drain on finances that the government want to tap into before they pool our resources.....:)
The national security concerns at that haven't been thought through, leaves us open to attack by muslim suicide plumbers
Equipped with loud and aggressive snorkels
suzukigt380paul
22-02-12, 05:08 PM
After reading about the plight in South East England I thought I would offer up my services to forum members affected by drought.
I have three large barrels I collect rain water in for washing my bike. However, in the spirit of 'we're all in this together' I am happy to let them go to a dry home if needed. Why barrels? Well in this blessed corner of north Shropshire it's always firkin raining.
well on the farm(not my farm by the way)we have a winter extraction license from our own stream to fill a 28 million gallon above ground reservoir and i would say we are about 20 million gallons short,so if you could pipe that water over from you water butts to fill it up then dont let me stop you
davepreston
22-02-12, 05:13 PM
it rained for forty day and forty nights
and thames water still had a hosepipe ban
shameless nicked from mock of the week
xXBADGERXx
22-02-12, 05:23 PM
You will also found that your hair feels much softer and luxurious to the touch whilst having a magnificent shine to it
How would you know ?
maviczap
22-02-12, 05:24 PM
it rained for forty day and forty nights
and thames water still had a hosepipe ban
Yes and their leakage rates are one of the worst.
I seem to remember New York had a problem with reserves of water, so the Mayor made it compulsory for every loo to be fitted with a water saving device. It was just a simple plastic bottle, to reduce the volume of water flushed each time.
Don't see any big initiative down South to do this, but it would save loads of water.
andrewsmith
22-02-12, 05:26 PM
it rained for forty day and forty nights
and thames water still had a hosepipe ban
shameless nicked from mock of the week
and after 100 days and 100 nights East Anglia still wasn't underwater
xXBADGERXx
22-02-12, 05:27 PM
I heard a leak that this might be a further drain on finances that the government want to tap into before they pool our resources.....:)
Groan .... you plumbed the Depths with that one
By the way , North Wales has been unusually dry this Winter . Must have a traipse up to that Reservoir that feeds that lot over the border , not had a slash in it for a long time
and after 100 days and 100 nights East Anglia still wasn't underwater
That's why the AR is in Essex in June
That's why the AR is in Essex in June
That'll be the only day it rains there this year, guaranteed :-)
Bluefish
22-02-12, 08:08 PM
Better not do, I'd want me money back ;)
andrewsmith
22-02-12, 08:14 PM
That'll be the only day it rains there this year, guaranteed :-)
AR12- the very wet edition
The Idle Biker
22-02-12, 08:15 PM
Yes and their leakage rates are one of the worst.
I seem to remember New York had a problem with reserves of water, so the Mayor made it compulsory for every loo to be fitted with a water saving device. It was just a simple plastic bottle, to reduce the volume of water flushed each time.
Don't see any big initiative down South to do this, but it would save loads of water.
If we run out of water to flush the loo, I just open another bottle of Chardonnay and sling that down. If needs must and times are hard and all that.
maviczap
22-02-12, 08:44 PM
If we run out of water to flush the loo, I just open another bottle of Chardonnay and sling that down. If needs must and times are hard and all that.
You must be one of those poor people I read about. :wink:
When the water runs out, its only the best Château Mouton Rothschild.
I have it on my cornflakes too :D
wyrdness
22-02-12, 09:24 PM
If we run out of water to flush the loo, I just open another bottle of Chardonnay and sling that down. If needs must and times are hard and all that.
Probably the best thing to do with chardonnay, 'specially if it's Australian.
Paul the 6th
22-02-12, 09:42 PM
Yes and their leakage rates are one of the worst.
I seem to remember New York had a problem with reserves of water, so the Mayor made it compulsory for every loo to be fitted with a water saving device. It was just a simple plastic bottle, to reduce the volume of water flushed each time.
Don't see any big initiative down South to do this, but it would save loads of water.
Akshually... Owenski mentioned this a while ago. Most sewers are designed to be 'self cleansing' with specific volumes of water & flow rates calculated to keep everything running smoothly.. So all these people sticking water hippos in their cisterns are contributing to the ticking time bomb of clogged up poo..
But nearly everything in life is a compromise so with a choice between clogged up drains or increased water usage.. Actually sod it I'd still rather use more water than have sewer problems
maviczap
22-02-12, 09:48 PM
Akshually... Owenski mentioned this a while ago. Most sewers are designed to be 'self cleansing' with specific volumes of water & flow rates calculated to keep everything running smoothly.. So all these people sticking water hippos in their cisterns are contributing to the ticking time bomb of clogged up poo..
But nearly everything in life is a compromise so with a choice between clogged up drains or increased water usage.. Actually sod it I'd still rather use more water than have sewer problems
That's a good point, and I can see the logic in it. Especially after I've had to strip one of my loos down today. Its a dual flush, and obviously hadn't flushed everything away :(
Black rubber gloves time :( :toss:
Wasn't helped by the pipe run, which I've changed to something with a straight run.
andrewsmith
22-02-12, 09:59 PM
That's a good point, and I can see the logic in it. Especially after I've had to strip one of my loos down today. Its a dual flush, and obviously hadn't flushed everything away :(
Black rubber gloves time :( :toss:
Wasn't helped by the pipe run, which I've changed to something with a straight run.
Snake pass or Applecross?
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