Life Analysis

[Fallout]

Ok, bit of a serious thread for Saturday morning, but bear with me mighty org.

So I've been analysing my life recently (I do this kind of thing a lot), and I feel like I'm not going in the right direction. I simplified the problem this morning by defining where I was, where I am, and where I want to be ...

Where I was:
After uni, I lived with a bunch of old friends. I had a decent job, earned enough money to have some fun toys (helps sharing rent between 4 people!), always came home to the lads and had a laugh, went out and did fun things fairly often, and basically things were good.

Where I am now:
So now I have a mortgage and live with the Mrs. I got fed up with my job so now I'm self employed. Money is tight so I can't spent much on toys or fun. Most of my mates lives changed too as well grew up. Many of my best mates moved to London and even abroad, are now married etc. Same old story I'm sure many people have experienced. As someone who works from home and is self employed, has moved away from my home town with the Mrs and all me mates have fecked off, I always have itchy feet and cabin fever!

My main problem is I hate 'normal' socialising. I don't do sitting down in pubs or basically anything that involves sitting around chatting to people about their mum, or their mate who just got married, or their pet dog Ralph, or basically what 95% of people enjoy talking about. So everytime I make the effort to go out with the Mrs to meet her work mates etc. and I yawn my ass off to normal conversations about work and people and all that crap!

I love DOING things. I love socialising with like minded people who want to go out and do motorsport (obviously), activities, and basically getting off our asses and having fun. Then I am the life and soul. But the problems with this are activities (especially bikes etc) cost money and the majority of people don't do anything like this. They're happy to spend their live socialising with people in the 'normal' way, which involves sitting in a pub, going to the shops, going to someone's house, going to a restaurant and then talking about their mum, their, their mate who just got married, or their pet dog Ralph.

The only time I REALLY enjoy sitting down having a conversation is when I feel like it's valuable. When I'm debating politics, or the meaning of life, or long term goals, or science, or a topic that furthers my understanding or makes me see something in a different light. Basically, conversations with intelligent, thinking people. People like this are hard to find. Don't get me wrong, I also love banter and just having a laugh, but not at a pub ... in an environment, like biking, when I can also enjoy a fun activity.

Ok, rant bit done ...

Where I want to be:
So I figured out what my goals are really. I don't think they're unrealistic or too ambitious, and I don't think I'm asking too much. I just want a group of friends which comprises (a) intellectuals/thinkers who I can have meaningful chat with (b) active itchy feet adrenalin junkie nuttcases, who will push me to try new things, and ideally (c) intellectual thinkers who like doing active things!

I want to live somewhere where it's possible to do these things. I live down in the south of england. Lots of opportunities to have fun, but if I want to go out greenlaning with mates, locations are limited. If I wanted to go out kayaking or something, there aren't any really good rivers, for example. I don't think I live in the right place in the country to have an outdoor active lifestyle. Yeah, I can go on holiday, or make weekend trips, but that all adds to the cost and difficulty in routinely having fun.

I feel like I'm a victim of circumstance. Times were fun growing up, then people moved away, I moved away and in with the mrs, and I made a decision to go self employed at home (cos I hated my job!) which doubled the blow and made my circle of friends very small, and my opportunity to meet new people much reduced. I'm definitely a go getting and good at solving problems and changing my life/making decisions to improve things, but having control over you circle of friends is a much harder task!

So anyway ... I envisage this life where I live somewhere rural with the mrs. Fairly locally I have a bunch of like minded mates who maybe have bikes, boats, like hang gliding, play footie, etc. active people! We're always planning new things and off out having fun. I know lots of people have groups of mates like this, and I'm really jealous. I've always got on well with anyone I've mate, and have been the life and soul of the group, so I know it's not me ... it's growing up and probably not taking opportunities and making a few poor life choices that has landing me in the mundane, and I'm not the sort of person who is happy with the mundane.

So ... how do I go about getting to this goal? Right now I'm saving for an enduro bike, and have joined a few forums and am going to try and meet people locally to start some off road fun ...but it's hard to find people. I can't even find a bike in price range! :rolleyes: So I am actively trying, and whenever my mates who are still locally organise something, I'm there. I'm off to a house party today. I will be sure to interrogate everyone to see if they just talk about mum, married and ralph, or if they enjoy doing interesting things. Normally, you're lucky to find 1 person with interesting hobbies at these things.

I'm always keeping my eyes peeled for new ORGers who are local to get some rides going on. I would do the Essex ride out if I wasn't going to a wedding. :rolleyes:

So mighty org, is there any advice on changing my circumstances and getting back on track, rather than falling down this hole of the mundane?

Rant done! :cheers:

[Specialone]

I too now find normal pub socialising boring, been there, done that.

I'm known in my family as an unsociable, grumpy old git.

But, I enjoy doing stuff with my biker buddys that are mostly off here, 12 of us are going to Normandy on thursday for 4 days.
This is my idea of how to spend my weekends, all made possible by me passing my bike test.

I used to be a season ticket holder at Birmingham city fc and I've quit that as it got boring, pub before game, game, go home type of thing.

I've changed and my idea of fun, socialising has changed, it happens.


IMO, you're probably being a bit too expectant, relax a bit and lower your expectations a bit.

[shonadoll]

I know what you mean. I'd advise getting on groupon, and get some cheap activities lined up, you can get some cracking deals, and it also means you have something to look forward to.

My mate recently did canyoning and rafting, and sphere ing, which she had never tried before, but loved it, and dirt cheap too!

[Dave20046]

I reckon there'll be a lot of people in the same boat. work ruins your life!

[flymo]

come up north, its great. :-)

[tigersaw]

Plenty of green lane fun in your neck of the woods. Get down to Eastleigh and meet the the TRF on club night, see if its your bag. I've made new mates through it and moved from road bikes to off road and not regretted it. You don't need a fortune either - most of us have old hacks like DRZ's and Serows, there are a few KTM's for those with too much money and who like servicing and polishing.
With you on some of the higher philosophy too - its my goal to move me, G/F and dog off to Shropshire ish somewhere where we can get a cottage and a couple of acres and generally avoid everything we don't like the look or smell of.

[Fallout]

Thanks chaps/chapess. I love this forum. I could probably post a message on here about having three nipples and 9 legs and would still probably get some useful non-judgemental advice from similarly afflicted people. :D

I'm known in my family as an unsociable, grumpy old git.
...

But, I enjoy doing stuff with my biker buddys that are mostly off here
...

IMO, you're probably being a bit too expectant, relax a bit and lower your expectations a bit.

You sound like me buddy. I was like this from my early 20s though. I had a brief period of ****ing it up the wall every weekend, and then rapidly got bored of it. My close mates 'get it', and invite me to interesting things, but not **** up. Other people think I'm an unsocialable git when I don't go to their mundane **** ups. Like you though, love doing stuff with my biking mates. Why would I want to sit in a pub when we could be out on our bikes, with a bit of down time in between rides?

As for expectations, you're probably right. Aiming too high with a complete life change, but if I aim to completely change things, maybe small changes I succeed with will be enough to make things interesting again.


I know what you mean. I'd advise getting on groupon, and get some cheap activities lined up, you can get some cracking deals, and it also means you have something to look forward to.

I do try this. Normally when I suggest things to mates, money is the excuse. Everyone is skint! Maybe I should just do these things by myself and meet new people there. I'm not a fan of being the guy who turns up by himself though. When I see someone turn up by themselves to something group based (e.g. paintballing or go-karting .... there's always one) I assume they have some sort of personality disorder. Usually proved wrong though. :D

I reckon there'll be a lot of people in the same boat. work ruins your life!

Agreed!

come up north, its great. :-)

You northerners! :rolleyes: You're right though. What have we got down here? Maybe more 'attractions', but I'm not into that. I envy your better roads and countryside. I reckon I'm a northerner at heart. I used to visit my grandparents in snowdonia when I was a nipper. I loved that placed. Used to go quading in the mountains. Bloody loved it!

Plenty of green lane fun in your neck of the woods. Get down to Eastleigh and meet the the TRF on club night, see if its your bag. I've made new mates through it and moved from road bikes to off road and not regretted it. You don't need a fortune either - most of us have old hacks like DRZ's and Serows, there are a few KTM's for those with too much money and who like servicing and polishing.
With you on some of the higher philosophy too - its my goal to move me, G/F and dog off to Shropshire ish somewhere where we can get a cottage and a couple of acres and generally avoid everything we don't like the look or smell of.

What's the TRF mate? That's exactly what I want - a cheap (sub £2k) trail bike. I'm saving for one right now. I could always get a cheap trailer to save the miles on it and drive to places. My mate who is also into green laning (used to have a KTM 200EXC but doesn't have a trail bike right now) lives in Eastleigh, so it's a good spot for me. Defo up for action down there.

As for your philosophy, yeah ... just like mine. Me and the mrs want a rural place too, but close enough to our mates and family. I always wanted a few acres. I want to build an RC monster truck circuit. No neighbours, no fear of upsetting them with the noise, and then have my mates down and race little RCs. If I had more space, I'd make a little trail bike circuit too. Get the mates down and a mini digger and getting sculpting! It's all about the money though. :rolleyes:

[Stuuk1]

I think that your feeling are pretty standard...

I too absolutely hate sitting in pubs with my gf's mates and talking about absolute crap.

I have now taken up photography and recently bought a lens which I can shoot all kinda of Motorsport with. Also being that I am a 20min ride from Brands Hatch, it's great! I now plan what I want to go out and shoot and what races I want to shoot. There are plenty of other photographers there which I'm sure are more than happy to chat etc

[tigersaw]

TRF - Trail riders fellowship. Sounds like a dozy old duffers funny handshake brigade but its the best way to get into off-roading legally and with plenty of support. Google TRF. TRF Southern have their own website away from the main area, they are a bit funny like that. The chairman lives near you, the rides out are all over Hampshire and beyond so you are well placed to join in. We are off to Wales in a few weeks, 10 of us B+B ing and generally behaving like children. £2k is plenty for the bike and some extra kit you may need. DRZ400's very popular if you are big enough to ride the thing, even a 125 will do the job - off road too much power can be your enemy.

[garynortheast]

I'm not a fan of being the guy who turns up by himself though. When I see someone turn up by themselves to something group based (e.g. paintballing or go-karting .... there's always one) I assume they have some sort of personality disorder. Usually proved wrong though. :D


Maybe they're just the only person in a group of friends who has actually got it together to do something rather than waiting for all their other apathetic mates to get off their backsides.

[Specialone]

Maybe they're just the only person in a group of friends who has actually got it together to do something rather than waiting for all their other apathetic mates to get off their backsides.

+1, I actually give massive respect to people who do this, it takes balls tbh.

Until I got into bikes I would never have dreamt about meeting stengers off an Internet forum, but one day I did and never looked back.

I go out my way a lot of the time to talk to newbies to a group etc as I know from experience how intimidating it can be.

[Fallout]

I think that your feeling are pretty standard...

I too absolutely hate sitting in pubs with my gf's mates and talking about absolute crap.

Maybe it's a biker thing. Most of us got into biking to do something more fun. Maybe we're not the sort to sit about in pubs, unless it's with fellow bikers. :)

TRF - Trail riders fellowship. Sounds like a dozy old duffers funny handshake brigade but its the best way to get into off-roading legally and with plenty of support. Google TRF. TRF Southern have their own website away from the main area, they are a bit funny like that. The chairman lives near you, the rides out are all over Hampshire and beyond so you are well placed to join in. We are off to Wales in a few weeks, 10 of us B+B ing and generally behaving like children. £2k is plenty for the bike and some extra kit you may need. DRZ400's very popular if you are big enough to ride the thing, even a 125 will do the job - off road too much power can be your enemy.

Thanks mate. Found it after a quick google. I read through the testimonials of newbies being taken out on rides and it sounds right up my street actually. It sounds like they promote a good balance between being sensible and respectful/legal but also having a laugh. I've joined the main forum but I'll look out for the southerners forum then and defect there straight away. :mrgreen: What's your username on there?

Maybe they're just the only person in a group of friends who has actually got it together to do something rather than waiting for all their other apathetic mates to get off their backsides.

You are right mate. I am generally the one suggesting everything, bullying the apathetic plebs into doing things, but when they say no, I never go off and do it by myself. Lesson learnt now! ;)

[Geodude]

I'm not a fan of being the guy who turns up by himself though. When I see someone turn up by themselves to something group based (e.g. paintballing or go-karting .... there's always one) I assume they have some sort of personality disorder.
I am that guy :( and thats all i will say on a public forum but when i do think about life and stuff and why its not going how i want it to and its not fair i always stop and think that there are folks having a worse life than me.

[Fallout]

I am that guy :( and thats all i will say on a public forum

If it helps mate, while I may make the assumption Mr Loner is going to be weird, I would always make them feel welcome. We all make judgements, but not all of us act on them. I'd chat to you anyway buddy and find out for myself.

[tigersaw]

I've joined the main forum but I'll look out for the southerners forum then and defect there straight away. :mrgreen: What's your username on there?


PM'd you

[Geodude]

You sir are a true gent and are most definitely on my 'like to meet' list :)

[Fallout]

You sir are a true gent and are most definitely on my 'like to meet' list :)

Thanks buddy. The sentiment is returned ..... though I forgot to mention, after I got to know you I'd strip you naked, cover you with tar and feathers (home alone style), point and laugh, call everyone round and get them to join in! :mrgreen: ;)

[Geodude]

Hehe normal day for me mate :)

[Small Clanger]

Stop worrying, drink a bottle of wine, roll one/get stoned and then have a game of "hide the sausage" with the wife. You'll be fine.

Next.

[Bibio]

i like weird as i am weird and i dint like non weird. i don't do social networking for the sake of 'friends lists' or 'dinner parties' as i have too many friends as it is from millionaires to beggars but each and every one of them are nice quirky people. if you are a back stabbing want to make a commotion about everything someone says then do yourself a favour and steer clear of me as i don't play those games.

Fallout, you have now joined the adult club which includes restrictions on your male ambitions. people say marriage does it i say bull its what you make of it.

[Bibio]

Stop worrying, drink a bottle of wine, roll one/get stoned and then have a game of "hide the sausage" with the wife. You'll be fine.

Next.



hahahahaaaaaaaa. breath hahahaaaaaaaaa :cheers:

[gruntygiggles]

As a serious reply to this thread, there is only one thing I can say.

I am in no way saying you are being selfish with the way you are thinking, but it comes across that your plan to make your life better for yourself revolves around what you can do for you.

All I can say is, the very best way to make yourself feel better/more fulfilled is to share your knowledge, intellect, enthusiasm with people that will benefit from it rather than looking for people that can give their intellect etc. to you.

By that I mean, you could find a group of like minded friends and discuss the things that interest you without achieving anything. You will have had a good time, but it could be so much more.

Look at someone like Talan off this forum, who shares all of his knowledge and experience to help others do what he loves. Stretchie, squirrel_Hunter, BAP and a few others off this forum have gone as nd helped at track days that Talan does and have come home feeling fantastic, because it is a chance to give a bit of yourself for the greater good, rather than just set out to make things better for yourself.

So...what is happening in your area? Are there any bike events that could benefit from your involvement. Anything other than bikes that you like? If you like debating and politics, are there any youth groups around you that could use someone with your intellect that can fire them up and get them involved and active in politics?

If I ever feel lacking in my life, I don't think about what I can do for myself as that is just instant and short term gratification. Instead, I will do something for someone else that i know will make a difference to them. It is a gift that keeps on giving as you get a real sense of fulfillment when you do things selflessly for others.

Just my thoughts. I grew up with a mum that would give the very last of herself to others before takung anything for herself, so it is normal for me...but it is much better to share what you have than just look to take more on board.

Meant in the most sincere way as I think you would get a lot out of finding something you could help with.

X

[Fallout]

Hehe normal day for me mate :)

Pah. I'll have to be more creative then. ;)

Stop worrying, drink a bottle of wine, roll one/get stoned and then have a game of "hide the sausage" with the wife. You'll be fine.

Next.

Good solid advice. :mrgreen:

i like weird as i am weird and i dint like non weird. i don't do social networking for the sake of 'friends lists' or 'dinner parties' as i have too many friends as it is from millionaires to beggars but each and every one of them are nice quirky people. if you are a back stabbing want to make a commotion about everything someone says then do yourself a favour and steer clear of me as i don't play those games.

Fallout, you have now joined the adult club which includes restrictions on your male ambitions. people say marriage does it i say bull its what you make of it.

I agree with that. I call her the Mrs, but we aint married yet. She is a star, and let's me do what I need to do to stay sane. We're far from loaded, but she's behind me spending our spare cash on a toy for myself to improve my sanity by getting into something new and meeting new people. So really, I don't think it's marriage/women that holds guys back ... it's the relationship you crafted by being a 'yes man' early on, sacrificing things when you were happy to because of the honeymoon period, and not establishing what each other needs early on.

I also agree on weird people. I've worked in IT all my life. It's taught me to accept all kinds of nerds and geeks. I've grown out of judging people on how society as a whole looks at them. I judge people on how they treat me and how interesting they are to me. So I'm with you on that Bibio.

[Bibio]

sounds like you got a good one m8, look after her and treat her well.

i think one of the biggest problems with today's society is that because of marketing and branding people cant look past the 'labels and skin'. i treat each and every person i meet with a blank canvas then start painting a picture for myself. some turn out to be Picasso's but most are monkey paintings. BTW i have not met a 'bad un' on the org yet.

[Fallout]

As a serious reply to this thread, there is only one thing I can say.

I am in no way saying you are being selfish with the way you are thinking, but it comes across that your plan to make your life better for yourself revolves around what you can do for you.

All I can say is, the very best way to make yourself feel better/more fulfilled is to share your knowledge, intellect, enthusiasm with people that will benefit from it rather than looking for people that can give their intellect etc. to you.

By that I mean, you could find a group of like minded friends and discuss the things that interest you without achieving anything. You will have had a good time, but it could be so much more.

Look at someone like Talan off this forum, who shares all of his knowledge and experience to help others do what he loves. Stretchie, squirrel_Hunter, BAP and a few others off this forum have gone as nd helped at track days that Talan does and have come home feeling fantastic, because it is a chance to give a bit of yourself for the greater good, rather than just set out to make things better for yourself.

So...what is happening in your area? Are there any bike events that could benefit from your involvement. Anything other than bikes that you like? If you like debating and politics, are there any youth groups around you that could use someone with your intellect that can fire them up and get them involved and active in politics?

If I ever feel lacking in my life, I don't think about what I can do for myself as that is just instant and short term gratification. Instead, I will do something for someone else that i know will make a difference to them. It is a gift that keeps on giving as you get a real sense of fulfillment when you do things selflessly for others.

Just my thoughts. I grew up with a mum that would give the very last of herself to others before takung anything for herself, so it is normal for me...but it is much better to share what you have than just look to take more on board.

Meant in the most sincere way as I think you would get a lot out of finding something you could help with.

X

Man, I hope I didn't come across as a selfish self centred nob! :mrgreen: I agree totally with you, and I am not looking to take from other people and just entertain myself. The only reason why I speak from a "I need to do this for myself" perspective is because the problem is mine, caused by my circumstances and my actions and my mindset, and it's up to me to sort it out.

So it's a selfish pursuit, but it won't have selfish results. With the example you picked up on of intelligent conversations, I don't want to sap people of their knowledge. I enjoy those sort of chats because of the rapport it develops with like minded people. You both learn something, you both see something from a different perspective, and you solidify your friendship. I probably didn't phrase it well. Too busy ranting. :rolleyes:

Imparting my experience, friendship, support, help etc. onto those I meet will happen and will give me satisfaction too. So if I came across as "GIMME GIMME GIMME", I didn't mean it that way. I just have a deep down fear of coasting and I want to enjoy life with others before I get old enough to look back with regret.

[Fallout]

sounds like you got a good one m8, look after her and treat her well.

i think one of the biggest problems with today's society is that because of marketing and branding people cant look past the 'labels and skin'. i treat each and every person i meet with a blank canvas then start painting a picture for myself. some turn out to be Picasso's but most are monkey paintings. BTW i have not met a 'bad un' on the org yet.

Good lad! :) We can't help judging people based on their looks, clothes, weight etc. It's a natural thing that occurs with first impressions, but some people never look past that. You do. I do. We don't attach that to a persons value to us. If I see a fat bald guy dribbling in the corner, I don't assume that means he's not interesting or worth knowing. I'll just hand him a napkin and pull up a chair. :mrgreen:

[gruntygiggles]

Man, I hope I didn't come across as a selfish self centred nob! :mrgreen: I agree totally with you, and I am not looking to take from other people and just entertain myself. The only reason why I speak from a "I need to do this for myself" perspective is because the problem is mine, caused by my circumstances and my actions and my mindset, and it's up to me to sort it out.

So it's a selfish pursuit, but it won't have selfish results. With the example you picked up on of intelligent conversations, I don't want to sap people of their knowledge. I enjoy those sort of chats because of the rapport it develops with like minded people. You both learn something, you both see something from a different perspective, and you solidify your friendship. I probably didn't phrase it well. Too busy ranting. :rolleyes:

Imparting my experience, friendship, support, help etc. onto those I meet will happen and will give me satisfaction too. So if I came across as "GIMME GIMME GIMME", I didn't mean it that way. I just have a deep down fear of coasting and I want to enjoy life with others before I get old enough to look back with regret.

I don't think you came across as selfish, hence my very first sentence :)

All I meant by writing that was that you can come at it from a different angle, set yourself up for a better chance at finding that fulfilment and have more realistic goals of what you can get out of life.

Life stinks, sh!t happens and the goalposts are constantly changing, so it is always a good thing to try and keep your mindset on a positive track, rather than a negative one. Expect too much and you set yourself up for feeling lacking in some way. We all have these moments and nobody is always fulfilled with their lot all of the time. So, go a bit easier on yourself :cool:

[Fallout]

I don't think you came across as selfish, hence my very first sentence :)

All I meant by writing that was that you can come at it from a different angle, set yourself up for a better chance at finding that fulfilment and have more realistic goals of what you can get out of life.

Life stinks, sh!t happens and the goalposts are constantly changing, so it is always a good thing to try and keep your mindset on a positive track, rather than a negative one. Expect too much and you set yourself up for feeling lacking in some way. We all have these moments and nobody is always fulfilled with their lot all of the time. So, go a bit easier on yourself :cool:

Don't you ever feel like we grew up in an era that brainwashed us into having unrealistic goals? I can't imagine what it's like for younguns today, who are basically mind-raped into believing they should all aspire to be popstars, or have some other form of fame. I still feel like I grew up being told I could be in a famous band, or I could be filthy rich. Even though we all mature and become level headed, we're still always tempted by what we see on TV. There's a constant illusion of possible grandeur. It can make it hard to dream realistically.

I'm feeling more positive now anyway Giggles. :) This forum is good for positivity. I don't know what it is about the people here, but there's a good spread of wisdom and opinion. Plus I'm following a new goal; get green laning within a month or so and make some new bike buddies. Modest goal, and a goodun. :)

[yorkie_chris]

. So everytime I make the effort to go out with the Mrs to meet her work mates etc. and I yawn my ass off to normal conversations about work and people and all that crap!

Indeedy. If anyone so much as mentions soaps (or the male version of: football) that person is easily pidgeonholed into the "meh" category.

Last few evenings I've been designing some of my own dive kit. Far better time spent even if I am sat on my *rse with my head in solidworks!

[gruntygiggles]

Don't you ever feel like we grew up in an era that brainwashed us into having unrealistic goals? I can't imagine what it's like for younguns today, who are basically mind-raped into believing they should all aspire to be popstars, or have some other form of fame. I still feel like I grew up being told I could be in a famous band, or I could be filthy rich. Even though we all mature and become level headed, we're still always tempted by what we see on TV. There's a constant illusion of possible grandeur. It can make it hard to dream realistically.

I'm feeling more positive now anyway Giggles. :) This forum is good for positivity. I don't know what it is about the people here, but there's a good spread of wisdom and opinion. Plus I'm following a new goal; get green laning within a month or so and make some new bike buddies. Modest goal, and a goodun. :)

Great goal and yes, the world today is all out of whack.

I consider myself lucky to have gone through so much grief and pain in my younger years. It helps enourmously with keeping a perspective on life. Kids nowadays are being motivated by unrealistic dreams, but I don't think it is all their fault. The adults need to remember to be proud of kids for small achievements. We are not very good in this country at bolstering our children's self esteem. At least, not in the right way. Some kids have yes parents that just tell them what they want to hear and set them up for a life of let downs. Some parents don't care enough to say anything and leave kids constantly trying more and more to get that attention and when it makes no difference, again, they feel let down and unfulfilled.

The parents that get it right have the kids that are the happy, well balanced young people that are getting fewer and farther between.

One day, they will be running the country and hopefully not giving handouts willy nilly to people that cannot be bothered to get off their backsides.

Small goals are attainable, one at a time. Before you know it, you will look back and realise you actually do have that life you always wanted.






Then, as soon as that happens, life gets in the way again and you are back to square one...lol :)