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View Full Version : What to do with terrorists

DJFridge
08-05-12, 09:26 PM
I can't claim entire responsibility for this thread, something MrsDJF said got me thinking

Assuming they caught somebody with this new underpants bomb, I have the perfect solution. Having wired a suitable remote detonator to said underpants, put them back on the terrorist. Put the terrorist on an old 747 which is due to be scrapped. Set up cameras to film properly from all angles. Detonate the pants to get a proper view of how dangerous this particular threat was. Mop up remains and repair plane ready for the next one.

Thoughts?
kevduncan
08-05-12, 09:28 PM
Scientifically nice. Legally not so robust.

K
davepreston
08-05-12, 09:36 PM
ied sweepers , put them on the end of a pole and make them walk infront of the wagons
Winder
08-05-12, 09:38 PM
You could fly his mates over from back home who helped make the underpants bomb and try out glove bombs and sock bombs and bowler hat bombs on them All in the name of science and national security.
SoulKiss
08-05-12, 09:39 PM
Explosives in the Underpants?

That would be a Suicide Bummer then?
Wideboy
08-05-12, 09:40 PM
touch them, sexually!
Winder
08-05-12, 09:42 PM
touch them, sexually!

With a petrol grass strimmer
davepreston
08-05-12, 09:44 PM
http://blog.joehuffman.org/content/binary/ChineseTargetStand.jpg

SIMPLES
DJ123
08-05-12, 09:47 PM
http://blog.joehuffman.org/content/binary/ChineseTargetStand.jpg

SIMPLES
Without the target above the head?
Fallout
08-05-12, 09:49 PM
Explosives in the Underpants?

That would be a Suicide Bummer then?

weehehehehehe. :smt082
Stephen McG
08-05-12, 11:27 PM
Someone could put explosives in prayer mats.
I am sure that prophets would go through the roof.
Anon.
andrewsmith
09-05-12, 06:07 AM
Explosives in the Underpants?

That would be a Suicide Bummer then?

Hahaha

I could suggest some things that would be too cruel
Fallout
09-05-12, 06:43 AM
So it turns out he was some sort of 'double agent' according to the news. What that means is anybodies guess. It makes sense in a war scenario, where Fritz works as a spy for the British against the Germans, but is actually still secretly working for the Germans ... that's a double agent. How that works in a "pop on a bummer bomb and blow you **** off to take down plane" scenario, I have no idea.
DJFridge
09-05-12, 08:45 PM
I think the double agent thing means he was, technically, on our side. He handed the bomb to the CIA rather than wearing it, so I guess forcing to him wear them for a test-to-destruction exercise is probably considered a bit harsh! I think the basic principle works though.
dizzyblonde
09-05-12, 08:59 PM
Bummer bombers?

Surely this happens by human spontaneous combustion after eating one too many extra strong curries laced with fart powder#?
Fallout
10-05-12, 08:41 AM
I think the double agent thing means he was, technically, on our side. He handed the bomb to the CIA rather than wearing it, so I guess forcing to him wear them for a test-to-destruction exercise is probably considered a bit harsh! I think the basic principle works though.

That would just be an agent. Apparently on their side, but secretly on our side = 1 layer of secrecy = secret agent. To be a double agent, he'd have to be apparently on their side, but secretly employed by us, but before that, actually secretly employed by the terrorists to act as an agent and get employed by us. :confused:

Let me simplify this with a simple vector based list :D :

Bob on plane with bomb (DIE!) = TERRORIST
Bob spy > infiltrates terrorist cell > On plane with bomb (TESTING) = AGENT
Bob terrorist > infiltrates agency and pretends to be spy > infiltrates terrorist cell acting as spy > On plane with bomb (DIE) = DOUBLE AGENT
Bob spy > Infiltrates terrorist cell, pretending to be terrorist, claiming he can infiltrate secret agency > Infiltrates agency > Infiltrates terrorist cell > On plane with bomb (CONFUSED!!) = No idea who I am TRIPPLE AGENT.

Perhaps I should send this table to the BBC.


Bummer bombers?

Surely this happens by human spontaneous combustion after eating one too many extra strong curries laced with fart powder#?

Every night for me Dizz. Every night. :rolleyes:
DJFridge
10-05-12, 09:51 PM
That would just be an agent. Apparently on their side, but secretly on our side = 1 layer of secrecy = secret agent. To be a double agent, he'd have to be apparently on their side, but secretly employed by us, but before that, actually secretly employed by the terrorists to act as an agent and get employed by us. :confused:

Let me simplify this with a simple vector based list :D :

Bob on plane with bomb (DIE!) = TERRORIST
Bob spy > infiltrates terrorist cell > On plane with bomb (TESTING) = AGENT
Bob terrorist > infiltrates agency and pretends to be spy > infiltrates terrorist cell acting as spy > On plane with bomb (DIE) = DOUBLE AGENT
Bob spy > Infiltrates terrorist cell, pretending to be terrorist, claiming he can infiltrate secret agency > Infiltrates agency > Infiltrates terrorist cell > On plane with bomb (CONFUSED!!) = No idea who I am TRIPPLE AGENT.

Perhaps I should send this table to the BBC.


I've watched 24 and I'm not sure that looks right. Where does the agent get to kneecap the pilot as a plot twist?
Mrs DJ Fridge
10-05-12, 10:01 PM
I've watched 24 and I'm not sure that looks right. Where does the agent get to kneecap the pilot as a plot twist?

If you are basing it on 24 then they could never use underpants bombs because they never go to the toilet or change their clothes.
Dabber
10-05-12, 10:14 PM
Give them what the IRA would call a '6 pack'.

Shoot them through the elbows, knee caps & ankles. With the knees, it has to be done from behind the knee, that way they will never be able to repair the knee fully.

Basically, in order to move about, they will have to drag themselves along with their lips.
Bordtea
10-05-12, 10:33 PM
Yuman rites!!
SoulKiss
11-05-12, 02:35 AM
Yuman rites!!

Yuman Rites for Yuman Beans?

Worzel, is that you?
Fallout
11-05-12, 06:59 AM
I've watched 24 and I'm not sure that looks right. Where does the agent get to kneecap the pilot as a plot twist?

That would be a quadruple agent. If he then turned out to be spiderman, that would be a quintuple agent, and if spiderman turned out to be a nympho, that'd be a sextuple agent. Keep up! :smt102

If you are basing it on 24 then they could never use underpants bombs because they never go to the toilet or change their clothes.

I always assumed, when it cut to the break the director goes "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP", all the actors leg it to the head to have a wee. Tony Almeida probably trips up Jack on the way and laughs at him :laughat:, and Keifer Sutherland probably wets his pants. Then suddenly we hear "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP" again, and everyone runs back to their places, freezes and the programme resumes. And that explains why Jack is always angry.
Owenski
11-05-12, 09:53 AM
I would agree to vote IED sweeper, the feckers were willing to blow up anyway so fudge em they may as well be useful with it too.

Double agent:
working for CIA = Agent,
working for CIA, fronting as a terrorist = Double agent.

It is possible some CIA rep has been running around the hills with his teatowel freinds waiting for a bomb to land in his lap which he handed in but tbh I find that its more likely the dirty-error-ist did a poo poo in his panties and blew the whistle to save his own nuts.

RUBBA_DINGY_RAPIDS BRUDA!