Bit of fun! I've got a business...

[missyburd]

...I'm an artist...

...but I'm sick of the paperwork! ;-)

or

...I've got a business...I'm a baker....but it's grinding me down!

or

...I've got a business...I'm a dominatrix...I'm managing to keep on top of things.

or

...I've got a business...I'm a clockmaker...it's ticking over nicely.


Get the gist? On you go folks :smt041

[davepreston]

I've got a business... I'm a hitman.... its murdering me

[Mr Speirs]

I've got a business...I'm own a bank...it's where the money is

[SoulKiss]

I'm a Necrophiliac Zoophilist with a penchant for a bit of S&M, but its like flogging a dead horse.

[SoulKiss]

I've got a business... I'm a hitman.... its murdering me

Shouldn't that just be "it's murder"?

[andrewsmith]

I'm a gynecologist. I'm up to my elbows in it

[andrewsmith]

I'm a vet, I'm up to my shoulders in it

[Cymraeg_Atodeg]

I work with waste... It's rubbish

[MisterTommyH]

I've started a business as a male escort.....It's growing nicely.

[embee]

I was a tailor - business was sew-sew
Gave up drug dealing - wasn't all it was cracked up to be
started tyre fitting - inflation put a stop to it
fitting Stannah stairlifts - business was on the up but the suppliers let me down
Then I made furniture - it was a joint venture
Now I'm a cartographer- I'm on top of the world.

[keith_d]

I used to be an undertaker, but it's a dying trade
I started as a grave digger, but the place I worked was a hole
The boss was a paedo necrophiliac, but some rotten little ***t split on him.

Now I'm a traffic warden, it's a fine job.

[L3nny]

I used to be a lolly pop lady, but it made me cross.

[Stenno]

I applied for a job as a butcher once but I didn't make the cut.
I loved my job as a ship builder. It was riveting.
I worked at a concrete plant but the job just got harder and harder.
I used to be a plumber but I found it too much of a drain.
Before then I was personal trainer but it didn't work out.
Being a lift engineer had its ups and downs.
I blagged a job as a windown cleaner once but my employer saw right through me.
As a dietician I had too much on my plate.

[missyburd]

lol, just a few then! Keith_d your boss is a sick sick man!

[Specialone]

I hated my job as a teacher at an archery centre, it was a load of bull,

I sold a struggling gun range, i got sick of the targets.

[The Guru]

I started a new job in a bakery with no previous experience... I figure I can rise to the challenge.

[The Guru]

I used to be a commercial diver but the pressure was too much.

[Specialone]

I tried making baloons for a living, but i kept letting myself down

[ImplodedHamster]

I run a company employing dwarves and midgets exclusively, we're a bit short staffed at the moment.

A locksmith's, it's opened lots of doors for us.

I organize jousting tournaments, I have to work knights at the moment.

I bake doughnuts, I'm getting tired of the hole thing!

I manufacture Paints & Adhesives, The company has just gone solvent.

Manufacturing Calculators, a few batches have a faulty 'minus' button. But on the plus side they still work & my customer base is multiplying.

I invest in funerals, It's a dying industry!

I design wingless aircraft, I'm struggling to get it off the ground

that'll do for now :-P

[Mako]

I've got a business in sandpaper production, but it's a bit rough.

I've got a business in dog walking, I must be barking.

I've got a business in the adult movie industry, there's a lot of stiff competition.

[Biker Biggles]

Im a toilet engineer

Its crap

[Mako]

I've got a business as a professional philosopher. I can't stop thinking about it.

I've got a business producing sewing machines that tell jokes, they keep me in stitches.

[punyXpress]

Popped my clogs, went to Heaven & started my dream job - stud gelding.
B hard servicing all them fillies!
Now in need of a rest

[sv_rory]

I have a body shop sanding cars down for a living, everything has to be up to scratch!

[missyburd]

:D So many!

I've got a business...I'm a hooker, I'm working on the ins and outs ;)

I work in lighting, always looking on the brighter side of life.

[ClunkintheUK]

I own a Landscaping business... but really I'm just beating about the bush
I'm an Australina Outback guide... but really I'm just beating about the Bush
I own a business running grouse hunts.. but really i'm just beating around the bush
I'm a Lesbian Dominatrix... but really I'm just beating about the (well you get the idea)

[Balky001]

I make porno films,I don't charge, I only do it for the craic
I have a karate school, I get a real kick from it
I ran a cycle shop but got bored of peddling gear
I ran a furniture shop but I had to shelve it
I build helta skeltas. The business is in a downward spiral.

[speedyandypandy]

I was a painter, but it all dried up.
I was a racer, but they all drove away.
I was a shoeseller, but I got the boot.
I was a guide, but I got lost.
I was a bobby, but I quit before I became a pr**k
I produced tape, but it all glued together.
I was christian, but saw the light.

[Mako]

I run a business producing pet food from Korean restaurant leftovers, but it's such a dog eat dog industry.

[sv_rory]

I've got a waxing salon; sometimes it's the pits but other days it can be a good crack!

[Paul the 6th]

I used to work in an undertakers but now I'm at a bakery.... so now I see bread people.

[andrewsmith]

I used to be an author, until a court order stopped me publishing 50 shades of Grey- dirty old man edition

[punyXpress]

You could do the decent thing & PM it to us

[Blurb]

I own a business, we decided to branch out into agriculture... It's a growth industry.

Then I invested in a vineyard but all the staff did was wine!

So we took over a construction company hopefully to pave the way for something bigger!

[garynortheast]

I had a business manufacturing CPUs but I sold it and cashed in my chips.

[Mako]

I had a business making candles, but a few bad experiences left me with my fingers burnt.

I have a business building football pitches, it's very goal-orientated.

I have a business in breeding animals, the office is a pigsty.

[keith_d]

I've got a livery - it's a stable business

I was offered a job as a blacksmith - I was a shoo in.

I've got a business as a limner - but the writing's on the wall

My friend had a job as a bowyer - there were no strings

[dizzyblonde]

I worked in a sewage treatment plant- it was a sh¡t job!

[missyburd]

:shock: that swear filter's slacking!

[dizzyblonde]

'Stinks', doesn't it! :lol:

[Bibio]

i make rubber balls, it's a bit bouncy at the moment.

i erect structures, it keeps me up.

i'm in the hemp industry, it's a bit ropey.

[Viney]

I had a business... Selling paper..it folded

-------
Sent from my Sony Xperia S using Tapatalk2

[andrewsmith]

I currently work as a laser printer salesman, it ream after ream of information

[Balky001]

I used to run a newspaper shop, but it blew away
I used to be a proctologist, but I worked with a bunch of a@5eholes
I lost my job at the art shop, I was framed.
I wanted to go to locksmith college but I couldn't get in
I was a baker, but I kneaded a poo
I have a business selling writing paper, the margins are great

[Paul the 6th]

I run a joke shop... it takes the p*ss....

[fenjer]

I had a job makinng feather pillows, but it was getting me down.

[Biker Biggles]

Im an uphill gardener
It makes me feel a little queer sometimes.

[L3nny]

I had the same experience working in the packing section of a fudge factory. Then again at my next job in a marmite mine.

[monkey]

I'm a tree surgeon... I'm thinking of branching out.

Edit: bugger. It's sort of been done.

I'm an escapologist... I like thinking outside the box
I'm a contortionist... Sometimes work has me in knots
I'm a doughnut salesman... I saw a hole in the market
I'm a comedic tailor... I have the customers in stitches
I'm a cosmetic breast surgeon... The perks are amazing
I was an erectile dysfunction specialist... Turned out I was a flop
I'm a prostitute... It sucks
I'm a caveman toolmaker... Back to the grindstone
I'm a draftsman... Back to the drawing board

[yorkie_chris]

I used to train attack dogs but there were too many snarl ups
Now I sell hi vis clothing... business is outstanding

[Viney]

Ive got a business...a Comedy Store...the place is full of Comedians

[yorkie_chris]

I make tyres, it's gripping
I'm a steeplejack... hanging in there.
I ran a laundry but my partners hung me out to dry
I was a train conductor but I was being taken for a ride

[missyburd]

I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok...

[Biker Biggles]

I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok...

I sleep all night and I work all day


And Im thinking of branching out:rolleyes:

[Dave20046]

I'm a technical manager... I technically manage

[andrewsmith]

i work in Health and Safety, I'm healthy and safe shame i work as a pimp

[Balky001]

I used to be a Doctor, but I had no patience...
A had a business producing toilet paper, but it went down the pan
I used to sell invisibility cloaks but all my customers disappeared
I used to make cheese but it grated on me

[Balky001]

I used to be a Doctor, but I had no patience...
A had a business producing toilet paper, but it went down the pan
I used to sell invisibility cloaks but all my customers disappeared
I used to make cheese but it grated on me

[Mr Speirs]

I used to own a scuba diving company but it went under
I design and build PA systems...it's sound
I used to be a delivery man for a hardware shop..but it was driving me nuts
I make mirrors...it reflects well on me
I own a pizza parlour...top that

[yorkie_chris]

Actually true too...

We sell cutting tools, life at the sharp end...

[keith_d]

Swann Morton have a business selling scalpels - bleeding edge technology!

[embee]

I have half a mind to become a politician...........should be enough.
I thought about being a philosopher........... job done.
Got a job in a restaurant, I can't wait.

[k1ngy SV]

got a job doing roofing tomorrow, cant wait to live the high life

Seriously though ahha xD :smt029