single parents dont always get a cushy life

[widepants]

I cant go into the back ground too much because of legal reasons but suffice to say that my too young children now live with me after the social took them from their mother.
My son is 10 and disabled my daughter 5 .I have had to pack in work to look after them.
Right then ....what do I do now I thought .Claim income support , ok.
claim child benefit , ok
carers allowance , ok
housing benefit , ok
council tax benefit , ok
child tax benefit , ok.
Disability living allowance( for my son) , ok (DLA)


cant get DLA untill I get child benefit
child benfit can take 4 months because ex is still getting it
cant get carers allowance because ex is getting it (couldnt find her claim because under her partners name) Got to go on JSA ( but I cant work because Im a carer)
Cant get income support untill get carers allowance.
cant get housing benefit or council tax benefit untill I get income support .
cant get child tax because of all the above .
So 2 months down the line I have been told to go on job seekers allowance (even though I shouldnt be on it) so that at least I can get some £ coming in .


All I m trying to do is whats best for my kids .



I admit that I have always been one of the first to point at single parents , but jeez its not always a case of having babies to get homes.
Thank god for my daughters school and charities helping us out .
We give too much money to other countries while our own kids do with out

[ClunkintheUK]

Having read some of your previous posts, I have nothing but the utmost respect for you and how you are trying to look after your little 'uns. I can only say best of luck sorting this out (I wish it didn't require luck either).

[widepants]

Sometimes I come on here and mess about , but it is usually to try and forget for half an hour the other kak that is going on.
Gid

[ClunkintheUK]

Sorry for this slight derail, but how is the child benefit in her partner's name, useless beureaucrats can't tell their ar$eholes from their elbows.

[widepants]

The partner she is with is out of work , so their clam is in his name .The ex claims the carers allowance for looking after my son (eventhough son is with me) The carers allowance is part of his claim because it effects his benefits

[Wideboy]

It's because you have worked, trying to claim any sort of benefit is near impossible when you've actually paid in!

When I was laid off a few years back I tried to claim job seakers and gave up. I was treated and spoken to like a piece of shehight at the job centre when all the regular gyro bums were chummy and having a lark with the staff. Ended up finding my own job and getting nothing.

[Owenski]

Im sure you'll understand the following Gid considering previous posts by us both I hope this is understood as intended. The problem you're having over that all the cushy ones dont is because you're doing it the right way, the ones who we see in the paper are ones doing x x and x in order to claim more than they're rightfully entitled to they're the ones with a cushy set up. You're struggling because you're been honourable, not that getting a bit underhand doesn't have its place mind you ;)

You're doing the right thing for your kids and I cant respect that enough, if anything in this state is fair then you should soon be able to receive enough to care for your kids in a way that they deserve. Ok it may not mean they get a PS6 for Christmas in a few years but at least they'll be able to wear a uniform and attend school whilst eating healthy.

[Bibio]

get yerself down to citizens advice bureau (http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/). one word from them and the social start to poo themselves. also get in contact with the social work department that is dealing with your case and tell them what the social are doing to you.

i feel your pain m8 as they done the exact same thing to me when the wife fell ill. i have only got it all sorted 2 years ago as they failed to tell me what i was entitled to with regards of carers allowance and left me claiming income support for 3 years, good news is i got a whacking great big fat check of them for back dated payments :-)

[dizzyblonde]

Was just going to say, have a word with the social workers. Surely though, now you have full custody of your children, their mother, and in particular her partner, are now claiming benefits under false pretenses, as they are no longer the childrens guardians?

[Drew Carey]

Mate, feel for you and wish I could give advice but suffice to say not something I have experience of. However, what I can say is that I know you will always do right by your kids and as I mentioned a long time ago......was inevitable that one day she would lose them or leave you to pick up the pieces.

The most sound advice I can think of from above is CAB & Social Worker. Must be someone who can pull the strings.....maybe even go to your local MP's drop in etc?

Hope you get it sorted.......its people like you that I have no issues paying taxes etc to support as I know you can do nothing else, especially with your young lads disability.

Thoughts with you and hope its sorted soon.

[dirtydog]

Not much else I can add to what everyone else has said above, social worker, CAB and definitely try your local MP, basically keep the pressure on them and hopefully you'll get it all sorted sooner rather than later!

I had an issue with child tax credits a few years ago and got my local MP involved and it was all pretty much sorted within a couple of weeks after a letter from his office

[Biker Biggles]

Im no expert,but I think you should insist on making a claim for whatever you believe you should be getting,even if the jobsworths say you cant.That way they will still owe you the money when it all gets sorted,and they will have look into why the money is currently going where it shouldnt.It may be fraud or someones incompetance,but either way it should be yours.

[SuzukiNess]

:grouphug:

Cant add much more, except echo the visit to the CAB - hopefully they can cut through some of the red tape.

Really hope you get sorted soon

[metalmonkey]

I would go to the local disability advice service, just goggle it for your area, the people there generally are very good and know exactly what you need to do and can mediate, write letters for you on your behalf.

[pookie]

Have you tried the local charities for advice on pathway for recieving benefits. I know some, like age concern do advisories and can help their group. Also keep on at the council and dont give up as someone else is taking money that you should be using for the kids.

Well done for taking on the responsibility.

[shonadoll]

The problem here isn't with claiming really though as the benefits ARE being claimed, just by the wrong person. Where does your ex get off treating you and her children like that and effectively denying you money? Appalling. I hope you get it sorted out.

[-Ralph-]

PM Danf1234

[Bibio]

just had a thought. your ex is committing a crime due to claiming these benefits so i would get in contact with the benefits fraud department (http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/BenefitFraud/DG_10014876) and tell them what is going on. those people don't mess about.

[Davadvice]

not much to add but, congrats on getting the kids. it's hard at times but just remember, they times when the kids make you laugh makes it all worth it.

Take care pall

[Stuuk1]

Haven't read all of the posts but looks tough mate.

The only thing I would know to do is go to the citizens advice bureau.

Good luck, I'm sure it will all work out in the end

[widepants]

After a meeting this afternoon , all payments to the ex have been stopped .Unfortunately one part of a gov body ,I have been informed , cant talk to a differant body ,so again its all up to me .Its still going to be a waiting game to get certain things swopped over , and without those I cant get access to anything else .
I can now see why the gov is going to bring it all together next yr .
In her favour , the lady I saw today was so helpfull and did admit that this is the most complicated case she had seen in 27 years

[Bibio]

the lady I saw today was so helpfull and did admit that this is the most complicated case she had seen in 27 years

she's never been to Fife then.. lol

excellent news BTW.

[dizzyblonde]

One step in the right direction. Hope they don't drag their feet now the balls rolling better xx

[Speedy Claire]

Very best of luck hun..... you know my feelings on your ex and i`m so pleased that you now have custody :D xx

[maviczap]

Quickly read through posts, glad you've at least got somewhere with it.

Lets hope things get faster quicker, you've had it tough for too long

[widepants]

Things will get there in the end because Im a stuborn git . This has really opened my eyes as to how difficult it can be though.I have at least 7 different departments to deal with and its a mine field

[Bibio]

keep all your entitlement letters safe as you will need them for school clothing grants.

get CAB to help with the DLA and carers allowance forms as they are a bit tricky failure to do them right and they will send them back which delays everything by months.

[BanannaMan]

Congrats again on getting the kids.
Hope you get all that red tape sorted soon.
Don't be discourged. It will pay off.
Seems never ending but I know you'll hang in there as long as it takes.
Hopefully be soon.
Best of luck!

[Dabteacake]

Glad to hear you are getting somewhere!!

[widepants]

I had another meeting this week and was told that because I didnt have Aidens cares allownce in my name , I could not get income support ,but would have to go on JSA .I was also told that when I had my interview , I would have to inform them that I was looking for work , even though that was imposible.In other words one department was telling me to lie to another ....
Today I made one last desperate phone call to a local charity for carers. Ten minutes after the phone call I received a call from the head of the DWP in this area saying the charity had been in touch .
He said he was sorry for all the upset , I would get income support as a carer and the back dated money would go in my bank this afternoon . Who would have thought a charity would have so much clout

[jambo]

single parents dont always get a cushy life
Sorry you're having a tough time with the finances.

Having recently become a parent, I don't think being a single parent could be a cushy life even if money wasn't a factor, unless you were doing it quite differently to most.

Good luck getting it straightened out!

Regarding the charities, often getting these things fixed is a matter of knowing who to call, and what to say, and they'll have had the experience, which you won't. This makes them invaluable and glad you've received some help!

Jambo

[Luckypants]

He said he was sorry for all the upset , I would get income support as a carer and the back dated money would go in my bank this afternoon . Who would have thought a charity would have so much cloutGreat news mate, so pleased to hear things going in the right direction.

As Jambo said, knowing who to call and what to say makes all the difference as we found out sorting out help for my mum. Make use all you can of their expertise.

Good luck sorting out the rest.

[Scoobs]

He said he was sorry for all the upset , I would get income support as a carer and the back dated money would go in my bank this afternoon . Who would have thought a charity would have so much clout

Well done. This is the best thing I've heard all week. :thumbsup:

[ClunkintheUK]

Really glad to hear you've gotten a good answer at last.

[Bibio]

I had another meeting this week and was told that because I didnt have Aidens cares allownce in my name , I could not get income support ,but would have to go on JSA .I was also told that when I had my interview , I would have to inform them that I was looking for work , even though that was imposible.In other words one department was telling me to lie to another ....
Today I made one last desperate phone call to a local charity for carers. Ten minutes after the phone call I received a call from the head of the DWP in this area saying the charity had been in touch .
He said he was sorry for all the upset , I would get income support as a carer and the back dated money would go in my bank this afternoon . Who would have thought a charity would have so much clout

excellent news.

you'll get used to right hand/left hand crap with the various departments.

i don't understand why they make it so bloody difficult for people who actually need the help and i'll be glad whet they finaly get all those junkies, drunks and false claimers off the system.

[dizzyblonde]

Absolute fantastic stuff Mr Pants. We're both pleased to hear this. :)

[Dabteacake]

Hopefully this will get your sorted and can concentrate on what matters!