Poetry Corner

[Thunderace]

Well I posted this in the Idle banter joke thread the other day and got to thinking, maybe it would be fun to see how creative the rest of the GM are?
Looking to you Dad for some pearlers, although maybe we will find a poet who doesn't even know it!

So here goes......

There was a young gent from Tadley,
Who desired a new bike quite badly,
So with cash on his hip,
and being quite thick,
he got a new Gixxer that's shabby!

Off you go then!;)

[Fallout]

There was a squaddie called Ace,
Who rode fast all over the place.
At least that's what he said,
But his speedo was dead,
And in fact he is quite off the pace.

[Wideboy]

there was a lad with gixer 750,
he liked to think it was quite nifty,
truth is its ****,
just fit for the skip,
won't even go over 50.

i liked yours better nath, i had a good offensive ending but forgot it whilst watching telly

[Fallout]

There once was a muppet called Gav,
Who's appearance resembled a chav.
He built a trailer from steel,
Moulded from stolen wheels,
Which looked like a Victorian lav.

[DJ123]

There was a young lad called spank
who used to love to w***
he rode his S4
like a dirty w***e
and now he's got a tank

[dirtydog]

Let's not go bypassing the swear filter by adding an apostrophe where there shouldn't be one or changing letters for numbers etc etc

[Thunderace]

Well now Mr Job
How's it going with Bob
I hear you asked for a w***
and she shat in your tank
then punched you right in the gob.

[Thunderace]

There was a young lad called spank
who used to love to w***
he rode his S4
like a dirty w***e
and now he's got a tank

Less of the Ace baiting Mr Job!

[Thunderace]

There was a man named Adam
who uncannily resembled a Sadam
no not Hussain
who was clearly insane
but a balding Arabic Madam

[Thunderace]

There was a fellow from Tadley
who thought himself funny but sadly
his jokes all fell flat
coz he's clearly a prat
and he always told them quite badly

[Jammy]

do me do me

[Thunderace]

There was an old codger called Mark
who thought himself quite the bright spark
once in a clean toilet
He thought not ****ting would spoil it
so he left a massive skid mark.

[Thunderace]

There once was a young lad named Jammy
who's hands were always quite clammy
this is not fear of a fight
but of dropping his bike
whilst cleaning it with a shammy

[Thunderace]

There once was a fellow named Tom
who's headlights were constantly on
when he had a flat battery
he sent it back to the factory
coz all the electric was gone

[Jammy]

Hahahaha

[Spank86]

Yeah, I tend to have to stay awake for 36 hours or drive myself to exhaustion to write poetry so I'm out unless we're just going to keep on with poorly written limericks.

[Thunderace]

There was an old codger called Laurie
who was constantly saying he's sorry
for not turning up
coz he's down on his luck
stuck at home with the wife watching Corrie!

[The Idle Biker]

Shut your face......................Thunderace,
Or I'll knock your teeth.....all over the place.

;-) xx

(Can I have a poetry prize now)

[Wideboy]

oh dear

[Fallout]

There once was a geeza called TIB,
Who was renowned for telling a fib.
He'd be game for a ride,
Then confess that he'd lied.
We all hate the cut of his jib!

[Fallout]

There was a nipper called Jam Ray,
Said he'd bring a girl with him one day.
She never appeared,
Which proved what we feared.
Well at least now we know that he's gay.

[Wideboy]

hahaha

[Thunderace]

There was a baboon who one afternoon,
Said "I think I will fly to the sun"
so with two great palms
strapped to his arms
he started his take off run
mile after mile he galloped in style
but never once left the ground
"you're running too slow"
said a passing crow
"try reaching the speed of sound"
so he put on a spurt
by god how it hurt
the soles of his feet caught fire
as he raced through a stream
there were great clouds of steam
but he still didn't get ant higher
as he raced on through the night
both his knees caught alight
and smoke billowed out from his rear
quick to his aid came the fire brigade
who chased him for over a year

[Fallout]

For whoever is current 'Dave':

There once was a guy called Dave,
Who kept a dead ho in a cave.
He said "Aww what the hell!"
"I'll get used to the smell!"
"And think of the money I'll save!"

[Thunderace]

hahahahahaha!:smt084

[Thunderace]

There was a short bald guy from Eastleigh,
Who though he looked like Jason Priestley,
He one day met a girl,
Who gave him a twirl,
When her knickers fell down it was beastly!

[The Idle Biker]

There was a young lady from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She lay on her back
Opened her crack
And peed all over the ceiling.

[Wideboy]

Oh dear


There once was a man called Laurie
Who was constantly in court saying he was sorry
He had to confess to being a sex pest
His sexual jokes were very gory*



* alternate ending "he was charged with the offence of flashing passing lorries".... sounded to much like your name

[Fallout]

This one should be right up Laurie's street ...

Once a young woman named Alice,
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In South Carolina,
And bits of her buttocks in Dallas.

[Thunderace]

Genius! :shock::D

[Thunderace]

Genius! :shock::D

[Thunderace]

There was a young man from Australia,
Who painted his ass like a Dahlia,
A penny a smell,
Was going quite well,
But tuppence a lick was a failure!

[Thunderace]

There was a Bishop from Kings,
Who desired many things,
But his real desire,
Was a boy in the choir,
With a bottom like jelly on springs!

[The Idle Biker]

http://i1217.photobucket.com/albums/dd400/IdleBiker/dating_zpse944f6b6.jpg