Your funeral, how would you like it?

[Specialone]

Been to a funeral today, got me thinking about mine and how other people thought about their own.

So, I'll list my own requirements, be interested to hear other people's.

I want to turn up in my coffin in a transit van, no hearse.
I want to be 15 mins late, my mom always said I'd be late for my own funeral so I want to be.
Nobody sings the hymns due to them not knowing them or the tempo etc, so no singing at mine, i want a mariachi band to sing for everybody, the mourners just listen and enjoy.
I want bikes there, as many as possible, even if I've been taken out while riding, they are a big part of my life so want them to be a part of my funeral too (I deliberately left out the 'death' part of that sentence).

That's it for now, let's hear yours.

[thulfi]

What a morbid thread

[Bluepete]

Not arsed in the least. I'll not be there to enjoy it, the cheaper the better for me.

Pete ;)

[Specialone]

What a morbid thread


Yeah sorry if it's not everyone's topic, i do understand this, but unless you tell people, nobody knows what you want.

[thulfi]

Yeah sorry if it's not everyone's topic, i do understand this, but unless you tell people, nobody knows what you want.

Ha wasn't being serious.

[Specialone]

Ha wasn't being serious.

Oh good :) I don't want to upset anyone with this, I know it can be a touchy subject with some.

[littleoldman2]

Late very late, hopefully out living anyone who would be daft enough to attend.

[maviczap]

Went to 3 last year, all unexpected.

Mine? eco coffin I guess, I do fancy the hearse with the black horses, but that may cost too much. When my dad passed away, the brochure from the funeral agents had a motorbike & sidecar, which wouldn't be bad.

I know what I want the entrance music to be and I've got 2 or 3 songs I'd like played at the end, but I haven't decided on which one yet.

Plus there's one definite choice in the middle of the service.

None are hymns.

The last one I went to, the service was conducted by a Sally Army Major and it was a refreshing change to the usual somber service, a bit jokey, which helped us when my neighbour and his 3 daughters read tributes to their mum/wife. Only 52 :(

So I'd also like it to be a happy affair, no black ties, infact colourful cylng tops would be in order :p

[Fallout]

No hymns for me. There's a song I've written my dearest (ex) knows should be played at my funeral. It wasn't written for that purposes (that'd be mega morbid writing you own funeral music!) but has meaning to me. Otherwise not fussed, but I would want all my mates turning up on bikes and happy for them to be there in their gear. Its mostly black after all. :)

[punyXpress]

When: . . I've finished with this old carcase of mine.
Where: http://i582.photobucket.com/albums/ss267/punyXpress/P1020585.jpg (http://s582.photobucket.com/user/punyXpress/media/P1020585.jpg.html)
Church is one side of Billown Circuit, I.O.M., graveyard is the other, so if not stone cold dead, will hear the racers a couple of times per year.
If above lights dont work, there'll be a hell of a bang!
Transport: Local sidecar/hearse.

[Spank86]

I don't think I really care. I'll be dead at the time.


I would like it to be completely inappropriate though.

A playlist including jamiroquai deeper underground or disco inferno by the trammps would be a good start.

I've also made one of my mates promise to be horrendously abusive about me in my eulogy if i die first, he's not allowed to say any nice things about me and has to offend everyone.

[Dave20046]

I don't care, not many will turn up to mine due to my refusal to give up the recipe to the antidote.

While we're on the jolly subject, anyone else planned their death?

[DJ123]

While we're on the jolly subject, anyone else planned their death?

I'm waiting for an Elephant, Noah's Ark & Moses to arrive at Loomies. Then mine is sorted :lol:

[Specialone]

I don't think I really care. I'll be dead at the time.


I would like it to be completely inappropriate though.

A playlist including jamiroquai deeper underground or disco inferno by the trammps would be a good start.

I've also made one of my mates promise to be horrendously abusive about me in my eulogy if i die first, he's not allowed to say any nice things about me and has to offend everyone.


Ha ha, I like the jamiroquai one, might steal that :)

[Specialone]

I don't care, not many will turn up to mine due to my refusal to give up the recipe to the antidote.

While we're on the jolly subject, anyone else planned their death?

If you go before me Dave, I'll go to yours, I'll drag Dan along too :p

[Red Herring]

Not arsed in the least. I'll not be there to enjoy it, the cheaper the better for me.

Pete ;)

I'm with Pete on this one, what will I care. The only stipulation I gave my wife is that I'm not to be driven anywhere at 20mph with a queue of traffic up my ar5e........or I'll come back and haunt her!

[chris8886]

I'm with Pete on this one, what will I care. The only stipulation I gave my wife is that I'm not to be driven anywhere at 20mph with a queue of traffic up my ar5e........or I'll come back and haunt her!



lol!


and I'm with spank on the jamiroquai thing. however this is a difficult subject for me as I came horrendously close to having all this planned for me a couple of years ago :( still not recovered completely, tis likely I never will either :(

[timwilky]

It was my mums funeral yesterday. We had a drink over the coffin before it went in and splashed it with whisky.

We left to the ying tong song. Life should be celebrated, not mourned.

[chris8886]

Life should be celebrated, not mourned.



quite right tim! my condolences to you and your family.

[Sid Squid]

Sorry for your loss Tim, my condolences.

For my part I'm not much bothered, just make sure I'm actually dead before my remains go in the canal for all I'll care. If there must be music I want it to be this:

jHPOzQzk9Qo

[Specialone]

It was my mums funeral yesterday. We had a drink over the coffin before it went in and splashed it with whisky.

We left to the ying tong song. Life should be celebrated, not mourned.

Condolences Tim also, agreed about celebrating life rather than mourn it.

The guy who's wife died for the funeral today was incredible, he was very calm and chatted about their long life together, not much crying from everyone, just family etc enjoying their memories of her.

[davepreston]

had to have mine planned from when I was 18
wake in bar, off to grave with convoy of bikes, rounds over box with ulster flag on top, cats in the cradle playing, back to bar, to end with cd of me hurling abuse at my nearest and dearest ( I will get the last word in)
a few grand left behind bar for everyone to get sh1tfaced


job jobbed

[Jayneflakes]

I have planned mine already, but then with kids on the scene and a grandchild soon to enter the world, I want to make sure I cause as much psychological damage as possible!

My step daughter gets all my biking stuff, she may be a menace but I like her. As for the service, I want a non religious affair and I want my body donated to scientific research, be it into trans people or murder investigation. After that they can chuck what is left into Landfill. I have chosen the music to be played, during a quiet introspective moment when people are thinking about me, I want the song In torment in Hell by Deicide played. I also want lots of swearing and the sort of behaviour one would not usually associate with funerals.

Being an unconventional sort who was pretty rude most of the time, a nice funeral where every one cries and misses me would not be right. I want fart jokes and I think that I have requested a fart machine to be there too. I have never taken life too seriously, so I am hardly going to take death seriously either. Mind you I have asked for a seat to be left for me just incase I am wrong and there is an afterlife! :smt037

[ClunkintheUK]

I thought about this about a few years ago at my Great Aunt's funeral. She was 103. She had lived in a home for about 30 years, knew everybody there and she was missed by all, but the whole thing was rather up lifting and the consensus was that is was one final day out/Party with Ivy, all presided over by a picture of her at her 100th with a massive grin that she always seemed to have for everyone.

So that's what I want mine to be like. One big chuff off party at the end. If people want to be sad there will be a 5 minute period where this is allowed, but we all know that it's going to end sooner or later so please celebrate what we got in the first place. If there is anyone at my funeral it means that I have been a positive thing in someones life and I want that celebrated.

Oh and I want the song "I'll see you later alligator" playing (10 points to anyone who gets the reference).

[TamSV]

I'd like to watch my funeral from a distance before getting into a waiting car with my new passport, a 25 year old blonde and a large bag of cash.

[NTECUK]

Not arsed in the least. I'll not be there to enjoy it, the cheaper the better for me.

Pete ;)

This I have to agree with
If I'm a burden towards the end I rather go "Solent Green" route

[Amadeus]

I would like it to be completely inappropriate though.


My family has a tradition of being inappropriate at family funerals, the last one we ended up sniggering when I was sitting next to the fire exit in the crematorium.

But I think it was john Cleese who wanted to be the first to mention the F word and C word at a funeral so did so in graham chapmans eulogy.

[Teejayexc]

This thread reminds me of a joke..

Knock, knock..


"Who's there?"


"Grandad"



Feck, stop the funeral!

[Ruffy]

I have very few demands except that it should ideally be as upbeat as possible and a few other preferences that I have noted down and would like included if possible.

But I won't insist on it - I think a funeral's more for those that survive the deceased so I want to leave it to them to chose what they want as far as possible. Pointless including my demands if that only serves to upset the attendees (e.g. if I go in a bad bike smash then having bikes there might not be best for many mourners.)

[Biker Biggles]

When I was very young I remember seeing Winston Churchill's state funeral.
I fancy something like that only with more pomp and circumstance;)