New Job, cheap bills.

[Matt-EUC]

I has new job.

If you're interested in getting household bills on the cheap, drop me a line. I'll be more than happy to give you a quote*.




*charged at one beer per accepted quote.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[DarrenSV650S]

I haven't paid my council tax in 6 months/ever. Hook me up

[Matt-EUC]

I should clarify.

Energy, phone, broadband and mobile.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Bibio]

please tell me your not a cold caller or one of those people standing in town centres harassing people.

[andrewsmith]

I can get them cheaper than you ;)

I'm authorised to bypass the meters lol

[Matt-EUC]

please tell me your not a cold caller or one of those people standing in town centres harassing people.


Nope, I intend to go purely by recommendations and harass only friends and acquaintances.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Bibio]

ooohhh no not a pyramid scheme.

[Matt-EUC]

Kind of.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Bibio]

there is no kind of.

[Matt-EUC]

It's called "network marketing" not pyramid selling.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Bibio]

bahahahaaaaa

yes the seminar sounds so convincing, the only people to make money are those that have people under them. sorry Matt but my advice is go and get your old job back.

[andrewsmith]

You better have thick skin!
http://youtu.be/Yj2oXMdZ4sk

[Matt-EUC]

I'm doing both jobs. I also intend to get people under me.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Matt-EUC]

You better have thick skin!
http://youtu.be/Yj2oXMdZ4sk


Fat and ginger at school. Skin doesn't come any thicker.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Bibio]

if it's a spare time thing your better off doing Avon or the Provident etc.etc the utility pyramid schemes dont pay m8.

[littleoldman2]

Till I met the wife I spent most of my time trying to get women under me;).

[Bibio]

can you beat £7.99 a month for free worldwide phone calls and 5p a min to mobiles?

[Matt-EUC]

Now I've met the wife, I spend most of my time trying to get women under me;).


Fixed.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Matt-EUC]

can you beat £7.99 a month for free worldwide phone calls and 5p a min to mobiles?


£5.50 p/m




Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Matt-EUC]

www.thefutureisuw.co.uk


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[andrewsmith]

can you beat £7.99 a month for free worldwide phone calls and 5p a min to mobiles?

I can!!!

Works phone and write it off as business :dwarf:

[Bibio]

what fro free worldwide calls to any country and 5p to mobiles anytime... i dont think so

[Matt-EUC]

Err have to check about free... Bare with me.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Bibio]

hahahahaaaaaa first of all we will need your address and phone number. fek right off.

Matt i hope it works m8 and you make some spare cash.

[Matt-EUC]

Personal details aren't kept. We aren't allowed by law.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Matt-EUC]

Also, recommended by "Which?".


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[TamSV]

Also, recommended by "Which?".

Smoke and mirrors that though. Many of the " customers" who vote in the Which poll are actually distributors like you. So there's loads of 10/10 votes that overwhelm the 2/10's.

I don't want to **** on your chips mate, I really don't, but how much did you have to pay to get this new job?

Selling utilities is a right hard shift these days. Just book a function room in a hotel, fill it with desperate people and take a couple of hundred quid off as many of them as possible. Then get them all to do the same and send you twenty quid a skull for everyone they recruit. That's where the real money is. :(

[Specialone]

It's yet another reinvented pyramid system, the only one who eans is the one at the top, I've seen families fall out forever over these things, stay well clear if you wanna keep your friends and family.

[Spank86]

I'm doing both jobs. I also intend to get people under me.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

I spoke to health and safety, you're going to need hard hats and scaffolding.

[Spank86]

Looking at the home phone and broadband prices they're ok.

Only ok though, not amazing. Lots of other companies offering the same or even slightly cheaper.

[Matt-EUC]

Looking at the home phone and broadband prices they're ok.

Only ok though, not amazing. Lots of other companies offering the same or even slightly cheaper.


Now do yourself an energy quote.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[PyroUK]

My dad is with UW, did have gas, elec & bb.

Soon got shot of the bb though, on plusnet fibre now.

He isn't doing any of the referral shyte though.

At the time he signed up the gas and elec was pretty competitive, not sure now though with all the new tariffs that OfGen have made the big contenders do

[Matt-EUC]

Good. Now to sign up the rest of the org and their families.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Matt-EUC]

Btw, what broadband speed is he getting?


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Spank86]

Now do yourself an energy quote.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

They are a lot more difficult to compare and I have no doubt they would be cheaper than the main providers, almost all the others are, slightly.

Quick research suggests they aren't the cheapest but they sit at the top of the lowest 20% so again! not bad but nothing amazing.

[Spank86]

Btw, what broadband speed is he getting?


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

It doesn't matter, you'll get the same whatever provider (virgin excepted) unless you only opt for a capped 40meg tariff but the lines capable of more.

[PyroUK]

Btw, what broadband speed is he getting?


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.


c48mb via Ethernet. But got it a **** load cheaper than sky or bt plus unlimited downloads.

I was tempted to get him bt just so I could watch the gp.

[Matt-EUC]

Ok, so. Anybody interested now that spank essentially said I'm only less than average?


And my energy and phone bills are ok.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[PyroUK]

Nope

[PyroUK]

You should do what the pair of tossers down here do and just drive round all day in the branded company car and hope for random numpties to call you and make appts

[Matt-EUC]

I'll rephrase, does anyone want a free mini/£10,000?


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Matt-EUC]

You should do what the pair of tossers down here do and just drive round all day in the branded company car and hope for random numpties to call you and make appts


Do you live near Bournemouth?


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[PyroUK]

I'll rephrase, does anyone want a free mini/£10,000?


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

I'd rather **** glass and walk everywhere/use a bus

[PyroUK]

Do you live near Bournemouth?


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.


Yes

[Matt-EUC]

First, you have the option if taking the £10,000.

Second, that may be my aunt you're talking about.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[PyroUK]

So you get offered £10k or a **** car?

My first response to that is "and?"

My second response to that is, have you seen her recently? And has she within the last 5 years undergone a F to M sex change?

[Matt-EUC]

Umm... Not that I'm aware. She was very much a "she" last time I saw her... Last week.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[PyroUK]

Then she is not one of the 2 tossers to which I was referring to.

I have not had the misfortune of seeing a 3rd rep around yet.

And you didn't answer the question about the cash and car

[Matt-EUC]

Yes, you are offered £10,000 or a BMW mini.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[PyroUK]

Right so what's the craic with that then I you take the cash? Do you have targets to meet to keep it? Or is it effectively your lifetime wages if you don't sell?

Basically, what's to stop you taking the money and run?

[Matt-EUC]

Nothing. You WIN a mini. Didn't you look at the website?


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[PyroUK]

Nah on the road and signal is patchy, I had to write that last post 5 times before it actually sent!

[dizzyblonde]

Somebody took the bait.




Hook line and sinker!

[PyroUK]

More a point of why didn't he just take the money and run.

Unless he took the shyte car...?

[Mark_h]

Why not sell diet shake 9-week challenges and pampered chef and anne summers too. If you are happy being a pyramid selling con-merchant you may as well maximise your capacity before you get banned. The actual product is largely irrelevelnt as all the money comes from signing up new distributors

[Matt-EUC]

I think you've missed the point...

Have you never learned not to paint everything with the same brush?

Sent from my GT-P5210 using Tapatalk

[tigersaw]

I dont get it.
I filled it all in, elec/gas quoted at £1800 against the £1100 I pay now.
Broadband/phone more expensive too once added in caller id/answerphone etc, and there were silly upfront fees too.
Mobile phone tariff more than my tesco one too

[Matt-EUC]

Chances are, you didn't know your gas and electricity usage. We quote you higher for that just in case. You probably don't use as much energy as we allow for. PM me the details required and I'll sort something out for you ;)


No, I won't keep the details they will be destroyed afterwards.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Matt-EUC]

Have a look at the "Cashback Card".

How many of you shop or buy fuel at Sainsbury's? Buy stuff at M&S? Buy stuff on ebay?

It works like a prepaid card from the post office, kind of, top it up with as much as you want, and use it to buy things. A percentage of what you spend will come off your bill. There are people who use it so much that we actually owe THEM money.

[DJ123]

Have a look at the "Cashback Card".

How many of you shop or buy fuel at Sainsbury's? Buy stuff at M&S? Buy stuff on ebay?

It works like a prepaid card from the post office, kind of, top it up with as much as you want, and use it to buy things. A percentage of what you spend will come off your bill. There are people who use it so much that we actually owe THEM money.

The same as an AMEX card then, Which gives you money back directly? Or people who use cashback sites like Quidco.

[Matt-EUC]

Kind of.. But there's a pig on it. A pink one.

[DJ123]

so why would people go for it over the current available methods? by the sounds of the cash back rate is lower than what other avenues offer.

[Matt-EUC]

You guys just love ****ing on my cornflakes. Buy my **** and give me some ****ing commission!!!



Please?


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[DJ123]

new money & old rope spring to mind. Need to have a great product to get customers on board & attract them from their current 'suppliers'. By the sounds of this, its no different to what they can get directly.

[Matt-EUC]

Ok. PM me your home details and I'll give you a quote. Don't tell me your current energy price and we'll see what happens ok?

Post code, house number
Number of bedrooms
No. Adults
No. Kids
Type of heating (gas/electric)
Type of property (detached/semi/flat/terraced)
Age of property (more or less than 10 years old)




Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[PyroUK]

You guys just love ****ing on my cornflakes. Buy my **** and give me some ****ing commission!!!



Please?


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.


I'll take a dump in your cornflakes too!

When did they take your photo to put on the cards?

Save yourself the grief, take the money and run.

[Matt-EUC]

They didn't give me any money...

https://www.utilitywarehouse.co.uk/files/terms/mini_ts_and_cs.pdf

They do one every year.

[MisterTommyH]

I'm sorry mate, but this page looks like a pyramid to me (https://www.uwopportunity.co.uk/be-part-of-our-success/qualifying-progressing/)

If you can make it work for you, then good luck to you. But I won't be partaking.

[Matt-EUC]

"Network marketing"

Before you say you shan't partake, PM me the info detailed above and we'll see if we can sort you out shall we?

You don't have to become a distributor, but you may benefit from being a customer.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[dizzyblonde]

Some people aren't stupid...... Then again.....

[TamSV]

new money & old rope spring to mind. Need to have a great product to get customers on board & attract them from their current 'suppliers'. By the sounds of this, its no different to what they can get directly.

For people who are regular switchers and who are all over the cashback schemes, it's going to be fairly difficult to produce a better deal because they're already doing it on a self service basis, which is easy to do these days.

But there's a load of people who don't shop around ever, because they don't know how to do it, can't be bothered or have had a poor experience in the past. It's easy to get a better deal for them but they're hard to reach through the normal marketing routes and even a best price strategy won't work because they'll never see it.

You can get to those customers if you recruit the people they trust to be advocates for your brand. You pay them a commission instead of spending an advertising budget. You don't need to cheapest, just good enough. You've also got a large commission only sales force to talk you up online and stuff the review sites.

The sales force with the largest network of people who trust them will potentially do OK out of it. Personally, I've always followed the rule that I can make friends out of my customers but I don't make customers out of my friends.

[TamSV]

They didn't give me any money...

Did you have to give them money?

From what I know of these things there's usually a starter pack or similar. The psychology of it being to get you on the hook before your enthusiasm wears off so you'll bring customers in early to try and get your investment back.

[tigersaw]

Have a look at the "Cashback Card".

How many of you shop or buy fuel at Sainsbury's? Buy stuff at M&S? Buy stuff on ebay?



Nope - I use reward gateway. 10% off B+Q, homebase, currys, 5% off sainsburys, 7.5% M+S, 8% Argos etc. Not a cashback, straight discount.
Is it better than that?

[Bibio]

poor Matt, the guy is trying to make a few £ and we are all extracting the urine.

hey Matt my phone company gives away 3 free months if i sign other people up, do you want to be my friend :rolleyes:

[Teejayexc]

It's called "network marketing" not pyramid selling.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.


Nope, it's called ..I need to get a life.

[Spank86]

Have a look at the "Cashback Card".

How many of you shop or buy fuel at Sainsbury's? Buy stuff at M&S? Buy stuff on ebay?

It works like a prepaid card from the post office, kind of, top it up with as much as you want, and use it to buy things. A percentage of what you spend will come off your bill. There are people who use it so much that we actually owe THEM money.

5%

and you wind up paying about 3% just to put money on the thing.

[Spank86]

"Network marketing"

Before you say you shan't partake, PM me the info detailed above and we'll see if we can sort you out shall we?

You don't have to become a distributor, but you may benefit from being a customer.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

The difference between "network marketing" and a pyramid scheme is the existence of a product, the product may be peripheral to the profits but it's there.

That's all.

poor Matt, the guy is trying to make a few £ and we are all extracting the urine.

Who's he trying to make the money from? I think that gives us the right.

To be fair it's not a terrible deal in itself, the gas and electricity quotes are obviously crap, I mean we all know they're shot in the dark estimates based on averages and if you use more that they think they'll always seem cheaper until you get a bill. If you really want to compare prices go on money saving expert and use their checker, at least it's impartial.

The phone and Broadband prices are never going to set the world on fire, there's so much competition in the market (we basically have some of the cheapest in the world) that they can't possibly shave much off the normal cheap rates of the smaller providers.

[Matt-EUC]

Nope, it's called ..I need to get a life.

No, what I've done is get a second job to supplement my income so that I can actually pay my rent. To have a life, one must first live.

[Matt-EUC]

Who's he trying to make the money from? I think that gives us the right.


I make around £3 p/m for a customer that takes all the services plus some extras. I don't think you have much of a right to take the pizz..

[Specialone]

I'm sorry mate, but this page looks like a pyramid to me (https://www.uwopportunity.co.uk/be-part-of-our-success/qualifying-progressing/)

If you can make it work for you, then good luck to you. But I won't be partaking.

That's exactly what a pyramid is and how it works, if the customer at the bottom of it is paying for all the reps above them then that's a lot of middle men, that can't be cheaper than just shopping around and going directly to the suppliers.

[Spank86]

I make around £3 p/m for a customer that takes all the services plus some extras. I don't think you have much of a right to take the pizz..

3lb is a lot of pizz.


Besides its not how much, its how.

[Matt-EUC]

You pay less for your energy etc, I get a small cut.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Teejayexc]

I get a small cut.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

That's what they told me when I went for a vasectomy...


...they lied!

[Spank86]

You pay less for your energy etc, I get a small cut.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

The first part is only true if you're with the big providers,

Otherwise you probably pay more.

[Matt-EUC]

Allow me to give evidence. PM me the details I asked for, and we'll see what happens.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[yorkie_chris]

So for those of us who can do that maths how much p/m^3 of gas is it and how much standing charge.

[Matt-EUC]

I don't know that until I know where you live. Different rates for different addresses.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[yorkie_chris]

bd22

[Matt-EUC]

PM me your full details. The list is post 5 page 6


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[timwilky]

Can you get me my virgin broadband any cheaper? or beat my sipgate phone costs. 1p/min no line rental so monthly phone bill about £2.

[Matt-EUC]

We are a supplier in our own right. Only virgin can supply you with virgin broadband.

And no, I can't get you £2/month phone bills. You're probably a special case in that regard.

I can, however offer you free broadband for 6 months and reasonably cheap phone calls. I can also provide you with lower gas/electric bills.

Our broadband (assuming fibre) goes up to 72mbps.



Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[timwilky]

So you will provide me with fibre? Interested. But surely a fibre connection can do better than 72Mb. I am currently with virgin as I cannot get any other service provider. Glad to know others are now looking to put fibre infrastructure in place.

[Matt-EUC]

Umm... Assuming the fibre is there already, we can help. We don't offer to lay cable.

Unless it doesn't run to your house yet, but is at the box at the end of the road then yes we will. I think. Would have to ask first though.



Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.

[Spank86]

So you will provide me with fibre? Interested. But surely a fibre connection can do better than 72Mb. I am currently with virgin as I cannot get any other service provider. Glad to know others are now looking to put fibre infrastructure in place.

Its open reach fibre to the cab stuff like BT infinity.

When matt says supplier in their own right he means middle man on selling open reach products like sky or talk talk. Or BT.

[Matt-EUC]

You say middle man like its a bad thing.

You try and buy gas from the source and see how far you get.


Sent via the medium of interpretative dance.