Elderly Personal Care Help

[Seeker]

I've just got back from viewing a care home with a view to a weeks respite care for my Dad (well, for me really). It was a nice place, they've just had a new wing built and all the rooms are en-suite. The bathrooms have a central drain so even if you forgot to pull the shower curtain you wouldn't flood the room. I thought at £550/week it seemed like good value - I had previously looked at full time care homes and they were quoting £32k/year (not that he would agree to that anyway). He gets assessed tomorrow by the care home and if that is ok I should soon be getting a whole 7 days free.

[maviczap]

I've just got back from viewing a care home with a view to a weeks respite care for my Dad (well, for me really). It was a nice place, they've just had a new wing built and all the rooms are en-suite. The bathrooms have a central drain so even if you forgot to pull the shower curtain you wouldn't flood the room. I thought at £550/week it seemed like good value - I had previously looked at full time care homes and they were quoting £32k/year (not that he would agree to that anyway). He gets assessed tomorrow by the care home and if that is ok I should soon be getting a whole 7 days free.

That's good news for you and that price is good having had to go through that experience with my mum last year. My mum paid about the same

If you didn't know, then if your dad has savings under £22k then he shouldn't pay, if he goes into care full time the local council should cover his care bills, if I remember correctly. Above that which also include any property, then he will have to pay. Unless your mum or any relative is still living at the property.

So we had to sell my mum's house, as her savings would have only paid for about a years residential care.

Even if his savings are under the threshold, they will take any pension payments as contribution toward his care, minus small amounts for newspapers & stuff like that.

Do not put up with the council asking you to contribute!

He can give gifts of up to £5000 I think.

But whats most important is the care home they go to, I visited 3 before settling on one, and I'm glad I did, as they really did care for my mum for the last 7 months of her life. I had no concerns about her treatment ever, any problems, me or my sister were contacted straight away.

[Bibio]

dont know if its different down south but i'm sure that if your a full time carer you get 4 weeks respite for free. in the last eleven years i have not had any respite but its getting to the point where i'm going to have to start thinking about it. i had no holidays last year. even when i do get a break its only a max of four days in a year but i do get most sundays off.

[maviczap]

dont know if its different down south but i'm sure that if your a full time carer you get 4 weeks respite for free. in the last eleven years i have not had any respite but its getting to the point where i'm going to have to start thinking about it. i had no holidays last year. even when i do get a break its only a max of four days in a year but i do get most sundays off.

Yep, certainly my mum got a months free care after she was accepted into the care system, might have been 5 weeks free

[Littlepeahead]

Is that true that it's ANY relative living in the house then you don't have to sell? My mum will need full time care, she had a house, but still with a large mortgage, she pays it from her pension and it leaves her very little money. My sister and two sons live with mum, my sister pays all the other bills. However if mum is made to sell her home to pay for care the money wouldn't last long once she'd paid the mortgage off, and the council would also have to rehome my sister and the boys, which seems crazy.

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[Red ones]

My understanding is that anyone else who lives in the house as dependent cannot be unhoused by selling it to pay for care. That means that should the house be sold it has a resident which then reduces it's value to any buyer to practically zero and therefore worthless. The trick is to become tenants in common.

[Bibio]

i think there is a statutory time limit, if the family member has just moved in then they can be evicted. however if they have lived there for a long time then they are fine. its to stop people "grabbing" property from the local authority.

your mother wont be able to keep up the mortgage payments as the local authority will grab every penny. this leaves the family member to either settle the mortgage or be forced to take out another.

if there is a mortgage on the property then the lender usually wants the mortgage settled when the person dies or even goes into care depending on the type of mortgage so the family member has to get a new mortgage. they cant just take over the existing one.

[maviczap]

Both Red Ones and Bibio have given good advice and my understanding is the same. As Bibs said you can't install a family member just to stop the council forcing you selling the property to pay for your mum's care. But as your sister and nephews have lived there for a long time, then they can't be evicted.

When filled my mum's care application out, then there are questions about properties and who's living at them.

A colleague's dad is in care, but her mum is still resident in the family home, so can't be kicked out. So the council pays for his care, although I don't know if his pension pays towards his care or not.

You council should have info on paying for care.

[maviczap]

No problem, because having gone through the process, it's helpful to have peeps explain the processes.

We're all getting older, so it's going to impact on us at some point.

[maviczap]

LPH, as our councils are cash strapped, don't be surprised if they try and give you the cheapest option first, which is home care, unless you mum has been assessed already and will going into care?

[Bibio]

Folks, as personal care of elderly relatives is an important topic of itself, would anyone object to me making a new thread with the relevant posts in it?

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good idea.

[timwilky]

My mother was asked to leave two care homes.


She worked until she was 70 as a nurse. But she went blind and lost her mobility. A fall caused her a 6 week stay in hospital because of a fractured collar bone. 1 week for the fracture and 5 weeks for the hospital acquired infection. Nurses off other wards who knew her, would come to help her. Those on the ward could not be bothered. So once out of hospital she had 3 months convalescence whilst we found her a care home.


Home 1, was local to all. So convenient for for all to visit. But the only available room was on the first floor. No problem we thought, until phoned by the staff. She would not leave her room as she was frightened to use the stair lift as the main lift was out of order. We were not surprised, blind, transferred from wheel chair to stair lift. We then discovered her clothing missing, being given to other residents etc. When we complained we were told take her else where by the end of the week!



So emergency move to another local care home. That was a terrible place. Food very poor, stunk of you know what. But at least she was on the ground floor. But she was disorientated, did not know where she was and would shout all the time for help. Please find somewhere else she is disturbing the others.


So she went to live at my brothers for a year, he had to recruit a carer for 5 days a week whilst we all worked. The joke there was the carer earned more than him, so my mother paid to stay. until we could no longer cope.



Place 3 a few miles away. But purpose built. Individual bathrooms, ground floor, wide doorways for her chair. she lasted there for 18 months, put on a little weight and when she was ill the staff would pop in every 10 mins etc just to check/chat with her.


Letting her home helped with the costs, but care still took about 100 grand over her final years. It left her penniless, yet the council still insisted she had more assets hidden. They tried to view the money paid to a private carer as drip feeding money out of her account.

[maviczap]

Anyone with elderly relatives or not, then get a Lasting Power of Attorney in place before they loose their marbles

One for finance & one for health. Easy to complete online, don't pay anyone to do it for you

My wife is battling her mum to get her to complete one, as her mum thinks my wife is going to steal all her money,my MIL is still of sound mind! This is despite me telling my MIL how much easier things are will one in place! There are horror stories about children robbing their parents, but its rare

Glad I got my mum's financial one done before she lost her mental capability.

https://www.gov.uk/lasting-power-attorney-duties/health-welfare

https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney

[Bibio]

i'm seriously considering selling my house in the very near future to my kids for £1 each with a clause of 100 year lease with £0 rent.

[maviczap]

i'm seriously considering selling my house in the very near future to my kids for £1 each with a clause of 100 year lease with £0 rent.

Do it, that way when you are old, the council can't say you sold it to avoid selling it to pay for your care.

There is a term for this, which councils are aware of

[Biker Biggles]

"Deliberate deprivation" of assets is the term used. It means getting rid of assets or cash in order to avoid paying care costs and councils use it frequently to claw back money. its a bit of a minefield so worth getting advice on what you can and cant do and when.

[johnnyrod]

I thought the healthcare LPA had a section about DNR in it? Or is that not specific enough?

[johnnyrod]

Ah right, just looked it up and on the LPA there is basically one question that asks if the donor authorises the attorney to make a decision on life-sustaining treatment, signed by the donor and witnessed. Not quite the same.