View Full Version : Ouch! (Was "Clarkson you sonuvabitch!")
Nick762
15-11-04, 11:27 AM
Top Gear last night....
Apparently due to the design of fuel tanks on modern sports bikes, an increasingly common injury to riders is having their testicles ripped off, presumably when they stop suddenly! :shock:
Clarkson: "Serves them right for being bikers!"
Suitable responses from the biking community welcomed....
Chill out!
The reason he does it is to wind you up!
Nick762
15-11-04, 11:36 AM
Chill out!
The reason he does it is to wind you up!
I'm sure he does....
But the idea that because I ride a bike I deserve to have my testicles ripped off is a little close to the bone....
I shall not be using Mr Clarkson as my style guru any longer!
..........my testicles............. a little close to the bone....
A simple physiological fact, mate :thumbsup:
If you took all of Clarksens stuff seriously you'd be in serious trouble...
Made me wonder - anyone know if this is true, or just something to fill air time?
Must admit I've caused my self pain stopping too quick on a bike a couple of times. Once just before my test (5 mins at the side of the road bent double in agony just before your test. Nice.)
Stu
timwilky
15-11-04, 11:43 AM
Chill out!
The reason he does it is to wind you up!
I'm sure he does....
But the idea that because I ride a bike I deserve to have my testicles ripped off is a little close to the bone....
I shall not be using Mr Clarkson as my style guru any longer!
Does that mean you have been wearing jeans and a "sports jacket". As if anyone with any style would anyway.
Personally I would stick to my kappa pants, hoody imitation Burbery cap. (Like hell I would)
Nick762
15-11-04, 11:57 AM
If you took all of Clarksens stuff seriously you'd be in serious trouble...
Made me wonder - anyone know if this is true, or just something to fill air time?
Must admit I've caused my self pain stopping too quick on a bike a couple of times. Once just before my test (5 mins at the side of the road bent double in agony just before your test. Nice.)
Stu
I think it was in MCN a while back, I read about a racer who had his (um, remember there is a family audience) manhood removed after a close encounter with his fuel tank and had just had it sown back on.
I once messed up what I hoped was going to be a fast getaway from the lights, the bike took off, stalled, stopped and I didn't. Painfull lesson learnt... don't show off without a cricket box in your leathers :cry:
Nick762
15-11-04, 11:58 AM
..........my testicles............. a little close to the bone....
A simple physiological fact, mate :thumbsup:
Doh!
howardr
15-11-04, 12:03 PM
It's mostly due to the fact that bikers have much bigger balls than car drivers!
Also due to those lovely Italian design-gurus.
http://magasi.net/grafikk/Ducati-750SS-1999.jpg
O-O-O-U-U-U-UC-C-C-C-H-H-H-H-H!!!
I imagine if you own one of these then it will be a constant problem.
http://www.motoring.co.za/site/30/bikepics/Benelli%20Tornado%20900%20Tre.jpg
http://www.joeberkphotography.com/Dsc00351.jpg
Professor
15-11-04, 12:10 PM
Maybe manufacturers of motorcycle clothing ought to start putting kevlar
in the crotch. Though it might make sitting on the bike even less
comfortable. And going to the loo may become problematic. :?
If it's that bad then se a "Cricketer's Box" to protect your........ ummm....box :lol:
Seriously though, that Benelli tank............ :crutches:
A sorry case of "form over function" (or lack of function if it gets you :oops: )
Ken McCulloch
15-11-04, 12:21 PM
Made me wonder - anyone know if this is true, or just something to fill air time?
It's the biker's injury that dare not speak its name, really. While losing a foot has a certain machismo attached, loosing yer nuts is not something I think most of us would want to talk about in public.
I know this has been a recognised biker injury syndrome for at least 40 year; in the mid 60s there was some research published that basically said that bikers going over the tank in a collision were commonly getting their tackle caught up in / damaged by the great big speedos and tachos that were usual in them days.
Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
I know this has been a recognised biker injury syndrome for at least 40 year; in the mid 60s there was some research published that basically said that bikers going over the tank in a collision were commonly getting their tackle caught up in / damaged by the great big speedos and tachos that were usual in them days.
And if you somehow managed to avoid the tank/clocks then the "bacon-slicer" front number-plate got you anyway.
:reaper:
Believe the technical name for it is 'loss of consortium'. Whatever, I'm glad I fell sideways :lol:
Nick762
15-11-04, 12:38 PM
I imagine if you own one of these then it will be a constant problem.
http://www.motoring.co.za/site/30/bikepics/Benelli%20Tornado%20900%20Tre.jpg
http://www.joeberkphotography.com/Dsc00351.jpg
STREWTH!!!!! :shock:
I used to think that replacing the airbag with an 2 foot steel spike that impaled the driver in the event of an accident would be a major contribution to road safety. I see that the bike industry has not only had the same idea but actually implimented it!
Peter Henry
15-11-04, 12:44 PM
I have a pal who lives in the same village as old Jeremy.Perhaps I could ask him to accidentally spill a pint over him when they are next in the local pub? Jezzer does get in their quite often apparently! :lol: :lol:
I have a pal who lives in the same village as old Jeremy.Perhaps I could ask him to accidentally spill a pint over him when they are next in the local pub? Jezzer does get in their quite often apparently! :lol: :lol:
Maybe we could set up a PayPal account and get your mate to spill a pint over him everytime he visits :lol: :lol:
howardr
15-11-04, 01:40 PM
Just name the pub ... I fancy a rideout :twisted:
I saw this and laffed my bollox off :lol:
So not really a problem for me now :P
Just sometime's it's good to be female. :P :wink:
Ahh yes but he also conceded that these new forward facing speed camera's made biking have an advantage over cars, in the getting caught by cameras sense anyway.
Its always good to see him try and squirm out of a situation that has backfired on him.
I T-boned a BMW many years ago, she just didn't see me and pulled out....
The paramedics took one look at the crushed fuel tank of my XJ650 and cut my jeans off. No damge done TFC but I was in severe feckin' agony when my girlfriend did 'cowgirl' the week after.......
Carsick
15-11-04, 11:12 PM
my girlfriend did 'cowgirl' the week after.......
I may be a little naive, but I have no idea what that is, and I don't think I want to know.
On the plus side, you've saved some time for the misquoters. :lol:
She was sitting on me knob and bouncing up and down. She saved me the indignity of saying 'giddy up' however... :lol:
Clarksons sort of got a point, we bike and we know that if we crash something is likely to be messed up. It's the risk we choose to live. I buy all of Clarksons jeans. He's a legend in his own mind.
I also think this is another reason for having a smooth SV instead of the nasty pointy. When I come off I want my testicles to glide over the tank... for them to be splattered over a car windscreen. :)
When I come off I want my testicles to glide over the tank... for them to be splattered over a car windscreen. :)
Then Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman will be along to boil 'em up in a stew :lol:
Did you see that on the Long Way Round last week? http://forums.sv650.org/images/smiles/eusa_sick.gif
Then Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman will be along to boil 'em up in a stew :lol:
Did you see that on the Long Way Round last week? http://forums.sv650.org/images/smiles/eusa_sick.gif
The worrying thing was McGregor actually thought they were OK. Boorman struggled though. That was funny. Trying to not offend his hosts. :lol: :lol: :lol:
The worrying thing was McGregor actually thought they were OK
Yeah - he ate so many of 'em that he bust the frame on the bike in last night's episode. What a bloater :lol:
Rob S (Yella)
16-11-04, 03:33 PM
http://hometown.aol.co.uk/Robert%20C%20Suchley/sv650sitepics/tank.jpg
Been there seen it done it..........
It took 10 weeks for my bits to return to normal size after this impact with an SV tank.
It took 10 weeks for my spuds to return to normal size after this impact with an SV tank.
Bet you can whistle OK, though :wink:
Nick762
16-11-04, 04:59 PM
http://hometown.aol.co.uk/Robert%20C%20Suchley/sv650sitepics/tank.jpg
Been there seen it done it..........
It took 10 weeks for my bits to return to normal size after this impact with an SV tank.
:cry:
http://hometown.aol.co.uk/Robert%20C%20Suchley/sv650sitepics/tank.jpg
Been there seen it done it..........
It took 10 weeks for my bits to return to normal size after this impact with an SV tank.
Can anyone say, "ouch".
Rob S (Yella)
16-11-04, 09:06 PM
Rob S (Yella) wrote:
Been there seen it done it..........
It took 10 weeks for my bits to return to normal size after this impact with an SV tank.
Can anyone say, "ouch".
Yes.. in a very squeeky voice, actually I didn't feel the pain I was busy wondering why my arm was S shaped and my foot was under my armpit.
You need to sort your priorities out mate :wink:
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