View Full Version : Ok.... Im in serious mode now....
Got into work this morning to find that theyve completely reorganised my division. My boss is no longer my boss I now have a new one.
So sat down with both of them and discussed my attendance, performance etc in light of recent events and was told in no uncertain terms to go off sick. Even in light of the new policy, they said it was evident I was struggling and it would be better for me to get signed off, recover and come back then.
Its been something that Ive been aware of but not really wanting to admit - you never really want to admit to being unable to cope. And Im not really coping and dealing with things as well as I think I should.
The insomnia is really getting to me and its affecting my riding. Now its got that serious and Im losing all sense of judgement even I have to admit Im not in a good way.
So I may not be around as much on the forum over the next couple of weeks.
I know you guys would do anything to help me but just knowing youre there if I need you is enough. I have to sort my head out and start dealing with the things Ive not wanted to face after all that stress. And only I can do that.
Its tough being on my own and thats probably why I went back to work before I was recovered properly and why Im in this position now.
If I get signed off sick and some proper tablets to start dealing with the sleeping problems I hope to see you wednesday. If not, will try Friday. I kind of need your company to help me get better and have fun. But it may be a while before you guys see me... I really dont know at this moment.
Lyn x
Flamin_Squirrel
21-03-05, 01:28 PM
:cry:
Best wishes.
Spiderman
21-03-05, 02:01 PM
hey Lyn, you know what they say dont ya?
What dont kill ya, will only make you stronger!!
You dont come accross as a timid mouse so use this time and energy to get yourself even better than you were before.
I'm such a dummy that i still didnt tell you about the Blackboard rubber thingy.... DOH!!!!
Please remind me on Friday, hope you'll be there.
Hope you get yourself sorted soon Lyn, feel free to call or PM if I can help. :wink:
.
rictus01
21-03-05, 02:21 PM
Lyn, you know where I am, got a big bike that chews up the M20, give a shout if you need company.
still on a lighter note, plenty of time to get that tyre, then the best release is at hand.
Cheers Mark.
:grouphug: I love you guys.... means a lot knowing I have your support and help...
to be honest theres one thing I really need to sort my head and thats the SV... does the best job ever (well Ride did review it saying it was the perfect antidote to depression :D ). The CBF just isnt inspiring enough to get my head sorted... but then it is a honda :wink: :lol:
Im looking at a full 2 weeks sign off to start with. That will give me time to sort the tyre and start out on the SV. It will give me time to get all the paperwork together and start actually doing stuff to get this sorted.
I hope it sorts the insomnia. Im certainly going to take the time to sort my diet out... amazingly I have NO chocolate in the house at all.... I know eating properly helps me feel better but with my hectic lifestyle I dont and its a contributing factor to why I feel so tired all the time and stressed. I will also have the time to exercise more too, again something I know helps but something I dont really do.
so basically Im going to take the time to get myself better as spidey suggested... Just finding it hard to admit what everyone else can clearly see as it was put to me this morning.
anyway, you guys know me... a couple of days, the SV back who knows?... you cant keep me down for long...
Let us know if you need anything, im on early shift this week, and its a nice ride down that sort of way...
Dan
Look after yourself petal.
howardr
21-03-05, 04:44 PM
Take it easy Lynne - sorry to hear it's affecting you like this.
Once you've settled a bit - I'm sure many of us would be only too pleased to give you an 'armed escort' into Soho one Friday soon.
God help any wayward van drivers if they cause you grief :twisted:
Same as the rest Lyn. If you want anything let me know
Hey Lyn - sorry to hear you're not feeling too cool. But chin up and if you want some girlie company - let me know. Can't help out with the bike or any mechanics but am good at coffee, chats and cinema etc. I'm pm-ing you my mob again.
Cx
Hey,
Sorry to hear you're not doing so well, hope things improve soon.
Lots of love,
MT x
anyway, you guys know me... a couple of days, the SV back who knows?... you cant keep me down for long...
Herein may be a part of your problem darlin', bouncing back isn't always a virtue as a rapid rise invariably leads to a similar decline.
Being bouncy, bubbly and the kind of person about whom others say "they're always lively and live life to the fullest" is a bad mask to wear when it becomes an act. Even worse when it becomes something you feel you needs to 'maintain' because you feel that is how others know you.
It can be the hardest thing in the world to say to yourself - I'm not holding myself together, the only thing harder is saying it to others. It's easier to say your OK and cling onto the image you feel you need to portray.
Give yourself time, and when you think you're ready... give yourself some more time.
Baldyman
21-03-05, 09:02 PM
Come on little girly, give us a smile.......after all, I've got the (white) balls if you want em :wink:
Take it easy wont ya :?: :)
Red ones
21-03-05, 09:43 PM
Is the sleep causing the work problems, or the other way round? Whatever started it, there comes a point where the 2 feed off each other.
That's why I've been out of work for 3 months. Work was getting me down so much it was causing problems. I then got laid off - best thing that happened. - Looking forward to my new job in April
All the best!
Rob S (Yella)
21-03-05, 10:04 PM
It was a pleasure to meet you on Friday. Hope you feel better soon.
I dont know how to say this but.
Chocolate is not good for sleep, Full of sugar caffene and stimulants.
:grouphug:
Pensioner Pete
22-03-05, 07:52 AM
Hi Lyn. Sorry to hear you are feeling poorly now, but delayed PTS can have a very debilitating effect on the human phsyche.
Just do as your boss says, take the time to recuperate, without being ambitious about swift recovery, but also make sure you record and keep all relevant "incidents" that you notice have some bearing on your daily lifestyle.
It all adds to up to a hefty insurance claim against the other party. Write to Cadburys, and let them know they may lose a VIP as a customer, and ask them what they can do to indicate how much you should inflate your claim for that loss of delictitious pleasure.
Just to cheer you up a bit ( I think not !) look out for my 1800 plus matching trailer passing you way on Weds morning, en-route for Dover and a seacat crossing for the Easter break in the Ardennes area of Belgium, for a gathering of Gold Wings from over Europe.
That's what Hondas are good at ! :lol:
Lynw I know we have only spoken a few times and then it's about the trouble i get into reading your posts hehe, but as others have said do what your bosses say take time off and rest :wink: :wink:
P.s it's going to be sunny over the next few days and maybe into the weekend now you can't complain :lol:
RenamedMonkey
22-03-05, 02:49 PM
Thought I'd pop by Lyn and send you my best wishes. Take things in your own time and look after yourself, and most importantly let all these great people look after you as well.
Take care.
Fizzy Fish
22-03-05, 09:05 PM
good luck getting eourself back on track, and hope to see you down in Soho again very soon!
wow... Im overwhelmed by your support... it really does mean so much to me... it really is making a huge difference to me...
I havent done a thing today... completely rested, answered a few pms and just achieved my megaposter status... :D oh and sorted some 010s out for the SV... (I know Mark I know.... but I like sticky tyres that dont give feedback :lol: ). Dont know when they will be fitted as yet hopefully Saturday morning if not Thursday.. fingers crossed...
tomorrow pretty much going to be the same other than trip to doctors in morning to get all the physical stuff from the PTS sorted and sort out the antidepressants which I think are partly responsible for my spaced out feelings and why Im not safe to be on a bike right now.
Started to change my diet today. Funnily enough I dont actually, and I know you will all find this hard to believe, eat that much chocolate. My only intake is on a Friday in Soho... :shock: other than the crunchie I had yesterday afternoon but thats really it... I DONT have ANY chocolate in the house at all... just got fruit and veg to help matters... I know crap diet makes you feel crap so...
I cant help but bounce back. Just my way... Ive fought my way through a lot of crap things in my life and Im still here and this wont beat me, its just I have to stop kidding myself that im superwoman and what happened in January was pretty traumatic. My problem has been because I was so lucky in so many respects, Ive felt I should have no problem coping when I look at the accidents Bigape and Tim have had.
The problem is I didnt differentiate the assault and violence of it from the accident so Ive been looking at it along the lines of these guys coped and dealt with it I should be able to deal with it where in reality its a seperate situation to deal with. I think the time out has also made me realise that Im still having difficulty dealing with the suicide of my ex which even some time along is something I was dealing with and makes the events of January just one event too many for my coping mechanisms to deal with.
I will get better... just need to rest and chill and take my time to recover. Your support is invaluable and I consider myself to be very fortunate to know you guys... right Im all emotional now so Im buggering off... but huge thankyou and hope to see you soon depends on when I feel safe to be back on the bike
Lyn x
There are many ways to break a person Lyn.
A person who could cope with the loss of a child could be destroyed if they lost their ability to provide a home for that same child.
I've dealt with breavement of friends and family (one through suicide after protracted depression), been subjected to crashes, breaks, disfigurement, mugging, child abuse and attempted rape, operations, ongoing injury and minor disablement, burglery, arson and a phone stalker = all coped with a certain stubborn practicality and level headedness.
My Nan died a natural death aged 93 = I broke. Lost the plot myself whilst still keeping up the pretence of a normal life to the rest of the world.
A large part of keeping up appearences was due to me telling myself that I was being stupid and I should be able to cope with it. I managed with so much else and after all other people cope with losing a parent better, let alone a granparent in their nineties.
Just because others manage with something with apparent ease, doesn't mean you should expect you have to, or even need to.
To look after yourself, set your own standards - bugger everyone elses.
Take care hun.
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